Redemption
by Ally-Marty
Summary: Joren versus the Chamber of the Ordeal and beyond. Obviously AU! - A little K/D then a lot of K/J. Lots of angst. Fluffier in some chapters. 35 Chapters in all. **COMPLETE** Reviews are still welcome! :D
1. Prologue

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PotS; Tamora Pierce owns it all.**

**A/N: I realize the whole Kel/Joren theme has fallen out of favor - even **_**I**_** prefer other pairings. But the "spirit" of Joren practically haunted me to write something for him. It'll take me a little while to get to Kel/Joren, but hang in there. Thanks!**

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****Prologue**

"As I was saying, Paxton, I told your father that there were no hard feelings about what happened in that ridiculous court case," said Lord Burchard of Stone Mountain. "Joren has always had a bit of trouble holding his tongue - and his temper. I don't know where he gets it. When he was a youngling, he experienced the bite of my riding crop on several occasions due to his impertinence."

Sir Paxton of Nond struggled to keep his thoughts to himself. He knew exactly where Joren had gotten his ill-temperament. The Stone Mountain clan was well-known for its arrogance and meanness. The other noble houses endured them only because of their vast wealth. One of his so-called "dragon lady" aunts had been born a Stone Mountain - a fact she never failed to bring up at every family gathering. The only reason Paxton had agreed to take on Joren as his personal squire was because this particular aunt had nagged and badgered him until he submitted to her will.

The family had gathered at one of Corus' finest eating-houses, as a pre-Ordeal celebration of sorts. Lord Burchard presided over the table as though he was a royal. Joren sat sullenly at the far end of the table, not really interested or participating in the discussion. Sir Paxton wished he could have been somewhere else, but he knew he had to be with Joren until the Ordeal was over. He wondered what was going on in the young man's thoughts. Paxton had tried to break through to Joren - the lad had so much potential - but without success. The knight surmised that the poor boy probably had been ruined from birth. He almost felt sorry for Joren, but he would be glad to be free of his charge regardless. It had been a long four years.

"Sit up straight there Joren!" barked Lord Burchard. "You're not some low-born laze-about. Stop staring at all the serving girls! There are plenty of young noble ladies for you to consider once you have your shield. And you'd better finish your meal - you'll need all your strength for the Ordeal." Everyone in the place could hear the stuffy Lord tearing into his son, and attempted to appear unaffected by the outburst.

Joren's beautiful face showed two spots of color after his father berated him so loudly. He ground his teeth together so that he would not say anything to get his father any more upset. Joren's thoughts had been on his friend Vinson's confession and peculiar behavior after his Ordeal. Now Vinson was sitting in a prison cell, awaiting trial for his very serious crimes. He wondered if any of the serving girls in this establishment, or their friends or relatives, had been bothered by Vinson. He had always known that there was something a little bit "off" about Vinson, but he didn't realize just how sick the boy was. Of course, Joren had never had any problems with the ladies. They were like moths to his flame - all but one, that is, and he refused to let thoughts of Keladry of Mindelan ruin his last evening before his Ordeal.

Joren wasn't afraid of the Chamber of the Ordeal. He wasn't afraid of anything. After his own farce of a trial, and its subsequent fines, he figured he had more than satisfied the requirements of the law. Joren just wanted his shield. He also would like to roam a bit, but he knew his father would never let him have some fun. He knew that his primary duty would not be to serve the King, as a knight on the Scanran border. No, _his_ primary duty was to produce legal heirs for the House of Stone Mountain. His parents were "chomping at the bit" to get on with the betrothal and marriage process - he wouldn't be surprised if they had prospective brides lined up to meet him in the chapel after the Chamber released him.

The Stone Mountain line was dying out. Joren was the only son of a man whose only sibling could not sire any children due to the affects of a childhood illness. Joren's grandsire was a man who had only sisters. Joren's mother was the daughter of a first cousin to her husband. Other nobles quietly remarked that the Stone Mountain line was too inbred. The family was so concerned with keeping its "blue blood" pure, that they had just about run out of potential mates. Those who married bore few children or none at all. Joren certainly knew that he'd better produce heirs, or else the Stone Mountain estate and holdings would revert to the Crown upon his death. Joren's father would rather burn down the family castle and sow salt into the farmland before he let a progressive monarchy get its grubby hands on the wealth of Fief Stone Mountain.

When the long meal was finally over, Joren went back to his rooms thinking that the Chamber of the Ordeal couldn't possibly be any worse than his own father. He was wrong - _very_ wrong.

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**A/N: Okay, it's a start. I have written outlines for more chapters. Let me know if you're interested in seeing them. Please Read & Review. Thanks!**


	2. Choices

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PotS, but I thank Tamora Pierce for providing such a rich "playground."**

**"Choices"**

_"If you survive the Ordeal of Knighthood, you will be a Knight of the Realm. You will be sworn to protect those weaker than you, to obey your overlord, to live in a way that honors your kingdom and your gods. ... To wear the shield of a knight is an important thing. You may not ignore a cry for help. It means that rich and poor, young and old, male and female may look to you for rescue, and you cannot deny them."_

_--Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

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Joren of Stone Mountain listened halfheartedly as his knight master, Sir Paxton of Nond, and his friend Sir Ansil of Groten recited the traditional ritual of instruction while he bathed. His mind drifted as they blathered on and on about the Code of Chivalry, as well as the duties and responsibilities of a knight. As far as Joren was concerned, the Code was a joke. The Progressives had watered down everything so that even a weak-minded woman could try to become a knight. Where was the honor in that? Who needed women out and about, trying to be like men? He just couldn't wait to be free of all the games and concessions being made, especially for that wench, Keladry of Mindelan. Once he had his shield, Joren had plans to completely humiliate and discredit her in every way that he could.

Finally, the instructions and the bath were done, and Sir Paxton issued Joren the final warning not to speak aloud until the Chamber released him. Joren put on the plain cotton shirt and breeches as tradition dictated. He sniffed with disdain at the coarseness of the cloth, which reminded him of peasant's clothing. The Chapel was cold, and Joren fought against sleep as he sat on the hard wooden bench in front of the altar. Although he was supposed to be meditating on what the Code meant to him and the realm, he chose to think about which lady would suit him best as a noble wife. Several beauties of the court came to his mind, but most of the ones he liked best, he knew, were not high-born enough to suit his parents. He would probably end up shackled to some ugly fifth cousin. It was a depressing thought. Impatiently he waited for the Chamber door to open.

Joren startled when the Mithran priest touched his shoulder. He blinked. He didn't remember falling asleep, but he certainly had not been aware of the time passing. Stiffly, he rose from the bench and allowed the priest to usher him into the small, boxlike Chamber of the Ordeal. He did not look back at anyone else in the chapel as he stepped forward onto the cool stone floor. All light disappeared as the heavy metal door clanged shut.

Joren stood in the dark in the middle of the chamber for what seemed like a long time. He had thought that his eyes would adjust to the darkness but he closed them after a while because of the strain of trying to see something, anything. He began to think this whole Ordeal thing was nothing but a load of manure, when all of the sudden his ears were assaulted with the loudest, harshest voice he had ever heard.

"_Joren of Stone Mountain_," boomed the voice. "_Prepare to die! You are not worthy to carry the Shield of Knighthood for you care nothing for the Code of Chivalry which helps govern this Realm. You are full of arrogance and malice. You love no one but yourself. Decide now - will your death be quick and painful or slow and unbearable?"_

Joren, who had sunk to the floor on his knees and covered his ears due to the pain of the bodiless voice, was shocked and dismayed. Was this some joke? Was this part of the Ordeal? Was it a test to see if he would scream out in fear or anger at the voice's proclamation? He thought frantically back to his instruction and his years of training. What was he supposed to do now?

The horrific voice boomed inside his head, "_This is not a jest. You have been found lacking and the Dark God awaits you. Your only choice is the manner in which you will die. Now choose!"_

Joren decided that this was part of his Ordeal, and so he said in his mind, "_I choose quick and painful_."

* * *

Joren startled when the Mithran priest touched his shoulder. He blinked. He didn't remember falling asleep, but he certainly had not been aware of the time passing. Had he just been dreaming of the Chamber's death sentence upon him? Stiffly, he rose from the bench and allowed the priest to usher him into the small, boxlike Chamber of the Ordeal. This time, Joren looked back at his parents and his uncle, Sir Paxton and Sir Ansil, and the handful of other people in the chapel who had come to support him during his vigil. Warily, he stepped forward onto the cool stone floor. All light disappeared as the heavy metal door clanged shut.

Joren stood in the dark in the middle of the chamber for what seemed like a long time. He had thought that his eyes would adjust to the darkness but he closed them after a while because of the strain of trying to see something, anything. He began to wonder if what had happened before was just a dream. Suddenly, his ears were assaulted with the loudest, harshest voice he had ever heard -again.

"_Joren of Stone Mountain_," boomed the voice. "_Prepare to die! You are not worthy to carry the Shield of Knighthood for you care nothing for the Code of Chivalry which helps govern this Realm. You are full of arrogance and malice. You love no one but yourself. Decide now - will your death be quick and painful or slow and unbearable?"_

Joren, who had sunk to the floor on his knees and covered his ears due to the pain of the bodiless voice, was shocked and dismayed. Was this a trick? Was this part of the Ordeal? What was going on?

The horrific voice again boomed inside his head, "_This is not a jest. You have been found lacking and the Dark God awaits you. Your only choice is the manner in which you will die. Now choose!"_

Joren decided that he should make the same choice he had made in his dream, so he said in his mind, "_I choose quick and painful."_

* * *

Joren startled when the Mithran priest touched his shoulder. He blinked. He fought back a wave of panic and fear as he stiffly rose from the bench and allowed the priest to usher him into the small, boxlike Chamber of the Ordeal. Joren looked back at his parents and his uncle, Sir Paxton and Sir Ansil, and the handful of other people in the chapel who had come to support him during his vigil. They did not seem to be concerned about anything. Perhaps he _had_ been dreaming before. Warily, he stepped forward onto the cool stone floor. All light disappeared as the heavy metal door clanged shut.

Joren stood in the dark in the middle of the chamber for what seemed like a long time. He had thought that his eyes would adjust to the darkness but he closed them after a while because of the strain of trying to see something, anything. He began to wonder what was happening. He waited in anticipation for what he thought was coming next. Sure enough, his ears were assaulted with that same loud and harsh voice.

"_Joren of Stone Mountain_," boomed the voice. "_Prepare to die! You are not worthy to carry the Shield of Knighthood for you care nothing for the Code of Chivalry which helps govern this Realm. You are full of arrogance and malice. You love no one but yourself. Decide now - will your death be quick and painful or slow and unbearable?"_

Joren once again sank to the floor on his knees and covered his ears due to the pain of the bodiless voice. Now he not only was shocked and dismayed, but fully spooked as well. This had to be some trick, some sorcery. Someone must have tampered with the Chamber. That must be it. He would complain quite loudly when he got out of here!

The horrific voice again boomed inside his head, "_This is not a jest. You have been found lacking and the Dark God awaits you. Your only choice is the manner in which you will die. Now choose!"_

Joren wondered if he should make the same choice as before. He knew something was terribly wrong, but even if he ended up back in the chapel, he was not supposed to speak. Therefore he wouldn't be able to tell anyone about the problem with the Chamber. For the first time in a long time, Joren of Stone Mountain was afraid. Perhaps this really was part of his Ordeal and he needed to see it through. Although he truly had no desire to die a slow death, this time Joren thought in his mind, "_I choose slow and unbearable_."

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****A/N: Tune in next time ... I know, I know - no one likes a cliff hangar. I promise to update sooner if I get a bunch of reviews. Thank you!**


	3. Split Self

**Redemption**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own PotS, but I thank Tamora Pierce for providing such a rich "playground."**

**"Split Self"**

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_Joren wondered if he should make the same choice as before. He knew something was terribly wrong, but even if he ended up back in the chapel, he was not supposed to speak. Therefore he wouldn't be able to tell anyone about the problem with the Chamber. For the first time in a long time, Joren of Stone Mountain was afraid. Perhaps this really was part of his Ordeal and he needed to see it through. Although he truly had no desire to die a slow death, this time Joren thought in his mind, "I choose slow and unbearable."_

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Joren pressed his lips tightly together and bit down on the inside of his mouth to keep from screaming aloud in agony. It felt like his skin was being peeled away from his body and every nerve ending was on fire. He finally blacked out from the excruciating pain. When Joren regained consciousness, he felt nothing. He wondered if he truly was dead.

"No, you're not exactly dead - yet" hissed an eerily familiar voice. "But you _will_ be soon enough. It just takes more time with people like you."

Joren slowly turned his head toward the malevolent voice and jumped back in surprise. His eyes flew wide open as he looked into _his own face_, and he nearly screamed aloud. The being who was speaking to Joren was his mirror image, right down to the lazy sneer that was his normal facial expression.

"Go ahead," drawled the being. "You can scream all you want to now. No one will hear you. It doesn't matter anymore."

Joren hesitated to say anything. He didn't want to be tricked into speaking and thus disqualify himself from earning his shield. He continued to press his lips into a thin line.

The eerie 'twin' nodded toward a body lying in the middle of the stone floor. Joren realized that he now could see in the darkness. As he silently approached the body he could no longer stifle his scream of terror, because the body was _his_. There he was, a limp, lifeless form, his white-blond hair flopped over his slack face. Joren gulped in quick breaths and looked back and forth between his 'twin,' his body and himself. He couldn't make sense of what was happening. He didn't want to believe that he was dead, but then what _was_ this? Joren trembled with fear and anger.

"Like I said before," drawled his 'twin' in the tone of voice he was beginning to hate. "You're not _quite_ dead, but neither are you alive. Your body will last a little while longer while we proceed. Pay no attention to that - you have serious work ahead of you."

"Who ... who _are_ you?" asked Joren, his voice barely audible.

"Why, I am the embodiment of the Chamber of the Ordeal, especially presented to you in the image of the person you respect and admire and listen to the most - yourself," said his 'twin' in Joren's own mocking tone of voice, as he bowed toward Joren with a flourish.

"I ... I ... don't understand what's happening," croaked Joren, still trembling with fear.

"Let's see," said the Chamber/Joren. "The ripping sensation you felt was exactly that - your spirit was being ripped from your physical body. You have quite a journey ahead of you, and your physical body would only hinder you. Trust me; it's much better this way."

Joren just blinked in disbelief.

"Oh, come on, say something," mocked the Chamber/Joren. "I know you usually have some sort of witty response to situations you don't understand. Please, dazzle me with your cynical brilliance."

"What ... why is this happening to me?" stammered Joren.

"You requested the 'slow and unbearable' death, did you not?"

"I ... well ... yes, but only after I realized that the 'quick and painful' death meant an endless cycle of entering and re-entering the Chamber and hearing that awful voice."

"_**You mean this voice?**_" boomed the Chamber/Joren in that horrible screeching voice.

Joren winced and covered his ears, "Yes, _that_ voice. Please stop it!"

"We've had enough dawdling." said the Chamber/Joren. "We must go. There is much to do and not a lot of time."

"Wait!" cried Joren angrily. "I demand that you tell me what's going on right now!"

The Chamber/Joren looked at Joren with an icy expression that Joren realized he had given to others most of his life. Then his 'twin' smiled in a way that sent chills down Joren's insubstantial spine.

"That's _exactly_ the attitude that got you into this predicament. You're in a very unique situation, my young friend. Mithros himself judged you and found you lacking any redeeming qualities, so he condemned you to death. However, the Dark God also found you lacking, and will not usher you into his realm as a malevolent spirit who will harass other souls for eternity."

"What?!" screamed Joren, not believing what he heard.

"That's right, golden boy," drawled the Chamber/Joren. "You're too rotten to live _and_ you're too rotten to die. This doesn't happen very often. It's truly amazing. Unbelievable!"

Joren's mind was reeling again. He couldn't think of what he had done to deserve such a harsh judgment. He was sure there must be some horrible mistake, and he frantically thought of how to plead his case.

"There's been no mistake. I suppose it was a bit confusing with the whole "choose your death" routine, because there never was going to be a choice. The gods just needed to decide what to do with you. Pray that you will learn what you need to learn and change what you need to change. Otherwise, you will become a soul I will pity for all of eternity. Let's get started; we're wasting _your_ time now."

Joren had nothing to say. His mind was numb from the horror of it all. His 'split self' was making him crazy. He didn't want to believe that this was how he sounded or behaved, but he knew it was true. He didn't want to believe that his life had sunk so low. This truly was unbearable. Joren knew that he obviously had no future, but he could only wonder, "Just how slow and unbearable would this death be?"

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**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far. Please keep them coming! Thank you!**


	4. Back to the Beginning

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PotS, Tamora Pierce does.**

**"Back to the Beginning"**

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_"There's been no mistake." stated the Chamber/Joren. "I suppose it was a bit confusing with the whole 'choose your death' routine, because there never was going to be a choice. The gods just needed to decide what to do with you. Pray that you will learn what you need to learn and change what you need to change. Otherwise, you will become a soul I will pity for all of eternity. Let's get started; we're wasting __**your**__ time now." _

_Joren had nothing to say. His mind was numb from the horror of it all. His 'split self' was making him crazy. He didn't want to believe that this was how he sounded or behaved, but he knew it was true. He didn't want to believe that his life had sunk so low. This truly was unbearable. Joren knew that he obviously had no future, but he could only wonder, "Just how slow and unbearable would this death be?"_

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Joren woke up in a bed that seemed vaguely familiar to him. Pale sunlight was filtering through the gauzy white bed curtains. He was surrounded by plump pillows and soft coverings. Unfortunately, he was also drenched with sweat. His throat felt parched and his body felt sore all over, especially his lower abdomen. He wondered if everything that had happened within the Chamber was just some weird dream.

Suddenly, Joren felt that his body was being split in half by a terrible pain. He had never felt such an intense pain. He wanted to scream. He heard and felt his voice scream aloud, and realized with horror that he (in his spirit form) was within the body of a woman. This woman was writhing with pain and her thoughts were panic stricken.

"No, no, no! It's too soon! This babe cannot come now. It _cannot_!" thought the woman. "I need the nurse! Nurse! Someone please help me!" she cried out.

This was completely unacceptable! How _dare_ the Chamber place him within a woman? And this woman was obviously about to have a baby. There was no way that he, Joren of Stone Mountain, would stand for this kind of nonsense! Joren wanted to be out of this body right away.

"Stop fighting what must be," stated the Chamber/Joren. "There's no need for alarm. You'll get used to moving in and out of different ... bodies ... soon enough. It's a bit disorienting at first, but that's why we left your own body back there in the present. As a spirit, I can place you within anyone without any ill effects - for them. Everything you will see, hear, feel and think has already happened. You cannot affect anything - you can only experience the events through the perspective of the person with whom I place you. You'll always be able to communicate with me; I'm the only one who can hear you now anyway. When _I_ determine that you've experienced enough, I'll pull you out of the situation. Since you lack compassion, especially for the weak, and especially for women, I'm starting you here. It's always best to go back to the beginning. Just remember, this is _your_ past ..."

Joren couldn't argue anymore, because the woman was having another painful attack. He was as speechless as she was due to the pain. Why wasn't anyone helping this poor woman? Finally, someone was dabbing her forehead with a cool damp cloth.

"Please, m'lady, you must calm yourself. The healer is on his way here now."

"My husband!" exclaimed the woman. "Where is my husband? Someone must tell him. Oh ... _oh no_ ..." and her voice trailed off until it was just a low keening.

Joren continued to be horrified as he felt warm liquid oozing out of the woman's body and the sensation that his insides were being ripped out of him. The woman fainted from the pain and Joren experienced her fevered dreams. There were dreams of small bluish infants and tiny coffins, little gravestones near a stony chapel on a windswept hill, and heart wrenching sorrow. Joren wanted to pull away from this nightmare, but he couldn't. There were other voices - male voices. There was some shouting, but it didn't make any sense. Then someone spooned a thick liquid into the woman's mouth. Finally she drifted deeper into a dreamless sleep, and Joren took the opportunity to question the Chamber.

"What is this? Why am I here? What am I supposed to be learning - childbirth is painful? Everyone knows that. I can't see what possible good it will do me to experience this event for myself! Thank the gods I'm a _man_!"

"This is part of your journey. You are here to listen and to learn. Explore her thoughts. _Try_ to understand what she's feeling. It won't be long now."

Joren felt the woman regaining consciousness and willed himself to listen for her thoughts again. She must have slept for a longer time than he realized, because the light coming in through the window was now the purplish hue of early evening, just after sunset. She was no longer sweaty or bloody. Her bedclothes and all of the bedding were clean. No one had seen that she was awake, so she lay very still and listened to the conversation that was happening across the room by the hearth.

"What a pity m'lady won't be able to bear no more babes," said the nurse, in a soft voice.

"A shame, ye say?" questioned the other voice, one the woman recognized as belonging to her long-time personal maid. "I say 'tis a blessin', it is. M'lady's been with child seven times in seven years, with only three live births. And there's only the one survivin' son. It's a wonder m'lady still lives at all. Our lord never gives her time to heal. I think the Great Mother Goddess did her a favor by closin' her womb this time. The healer told m'lord there's to be no more babes. They mustn't even try again, or m'lady'll certainly die. Now maybe the poor dear can get some rest."

The woman let silent tears run down her face. She wished she _had_ died this time. Now she feared her husband wouldn't love her anymore. She heard the concern in her maid's voice as the two servants talked of all her past pregnancies and the sadness over her unfulfilled hopes. The woman bit the inside of her mouth hard so she wouldn't make any noise while she cried. Joren heard and felt everything, too, and he wondered at the obvious care and respect this woman's servants had for her. He flinched at the thought of the woman having had seven times of this pain in seven years. Finally, Joren wondered who this woman was, to have endured so much agony, and yet still be alive.

There was a loud commotion outside in the hallway and then the door of the bedchamber flew open. The woman quickly closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. It was no use. Quick little steps sounded on the stone floor and then someone had pulled back the bed curtains and was shaking the bed - someone little.

"Mama! Mama! Wake up!" shouted a child's voice. "Where's my baby brother, Mama? I saw the healer come on his horse. You said I would have a brother when the healer comes. Where is he? I want him now!"

The woman let her eyes flutter open just as a different maid rushed up behind the child and apologized for letting the boy escape her control. The boy was beautiful, with wide blue eyes, blonde hair like corn silk, and rosy cheeks. He looked to be about four or five years old. The woman loved her son so much, but she was still in too much pain to answer his questions.

"Molly, take young Master Joren down to the kitchen for a sweet treat," said the woman's personal maid, as she grabbed hold of one of the child's arms and led him toward the door.

The child wrenched free of the maid's grasp and pushed against the bed again. The sudden movement made the woman nauseous and she turned her head away from the little boy's angelic face. Joren felt the nausea, as well as his own shock as he recognized his own child self. Now he recognized the bed, the room, and all the surroundings, too.

"I don't want a sweet!" yelled the boy, "I want a brother! Mama promised me a brother."

"Master Joren, your mother needs her rest," his nursemaid Molly said smoothly, "Let's go find your father and he can tell you about everything. Come along now."

All three servants pushed and pulled the boy out of the bedchamber and locked the door behind him. His little fists pounded on the door for a brief moment, but soon there was silence. Once again, the woman, whom Joren now knew was his own mother, felt the cool damp cloth wiping away her hot tears as she let herself drift back to sleep.

* * *

Joren felt the ripping sensation as the Chamber pulled his spirit away from his mother's sleeping body. He actually wanted to cry as he thought about everything he had just experienced. When he found himself sitting atop a grassy hill, which overlooked a stony valley, Joren recognized it immediately. He turned and looked over his shoulder and saw his family's granite castle rising up in the distance. He also saw the image of the Chamber/Joren walking toward him, and he became angry.

"This is _my_ hill!" Joren exclaimed. "This is where I come whenever I need to be alone."

"Technically, you are alone." replied the Chamber/Joren. "No one here knows about you except me - and I'm not really a person, but we've covered that already. Now, what did you learn?"

"What did I learn? Hah! Are you going to make me relive all the terrible moments of my childhood? Is this what you mean by a 'slow and unbearable death'?" Joren ranted, as he got up and began to pace back and forth. "Don't you think I know where my attitudes came from? Just look at my father, the brute! Look what he did to my mother - he nearly killed her with his foolish quest for heirs! All these years he degraded her to me, telling me that she was weak and that every other woman was weak, too. I had so much contempt for my mother, but all this time it should have been him. My father nearly had me convinced that it was my duty to get married right away and produce heirs for Stone Mountain. I would have done the same thing to some poor woman, and my father would have cheered me on. I don't know how my father passed _his_ Ordeal. Why didn't you kill him instead?"

"Well, well, well," drawled the Chamber/Joren. "Aren't you just the picture of a loyal son? You do realize that if your father had not passed his Ordeal, _you_ would not exist?"

"Obviously, considering my current status, it was a complete waste of both of our lives. And my poor mother - what a pity! I was such a monster to her. You know I actually resented her for never giving me a brother. She gave me anything else I ever asked for - toys, clothes, horses, armor, anything - but I only _wanted_ a brother. Gods, she must have felt such pain every time I asked about that. She never let on, though. I never knew how much I hurt her until now. I mean, I knew about the little graves near the family chapel, but I didn't understand what they really meant. My mother is so much stronger than I knew- I think I felt in her a bit of a desire to be dead herself, but she wanted to be there for me. She truly loved me."

"As I said before, it's best that we go back to the beginning," declared the Chamber/Joren. "You can learn so much."

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A/N: I apologize for taking so long to update. The end of the summer break was so hectic. I hope to update more frequently as I settle into my new schedule. Please Read & Review. Thanks!


	5. A Jolly Good Time

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS and I only wish I did.**

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who are reviewing my work. I appreciate every word!**

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_"As I said before, it's best that we go back to the beginning," declared the Chamber/Joren. "You can learn so much."_

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**A Jolly Good Time**

"Ouch!" Joren thought, as the person he was 'visiting' hit the floor.

This was now the sixth or seventh little boy the Chamber had sent him into, so that he could experience 'firsthand' the hazing he had doled out when he was a page. Joren knew that the gods required him to learn about compassion and mercy and love before they would decide his final fate, but all of these 'learning experiences' were beginning to remind him of the 'quick and painful death cycle' he had had when he first entered the Chamber of the Ordeal.

Joren was not amused. Learning about the trials and sufferings of his own mother had been one of the most amazing - and traumatizing - things Joren had ever experienced. He now appreciated his mother in a way he never had at any time during his life, and he hoped he would have the chance to make it up to her. The Chamber was vague about his future prospects of making any amends, and had only talked to him about 'learning experiences.' He now loathed that expression - all it meant was _torture_ to him now.

Joren didn't remember who this boy was, or who any of the victimized boys were. Learning about the troubles of these complete strangers was maddening - especially since it was so repetitive. Each of the previous times, the Chamber had only warned him that this was one of the many, many first-year pages that Joren had hazed along the way. Each time, the Chamber had said the situation would help him understand what was to be small, weak, and vulnerable. Each time, the Chamber proclaimed this was an opportunity for Joren to explore a different way of thinking. If he was still in his own body, he knew it would be covered with bruises, cuts and scrapes - mostly administered by his own hands. This was definitely different for Joren.

The new boy's knees ached from their sudden impact with the hard stone floor of one of the palace libraries. His pudgy little hands stung from slapping against the floor, too. The boy protested against the rough treatment, but his tormentors only laughed. Joren recognized all of the tormentors - not surprisingly, his younger self was one of them. Garvey of Runnerspring and Vinson of Genlith were the other two, of course.

Whoever this boy was, his thoughts were a complete jumble. Joren could only make out something about how the boy's father had warned him that the senior pages would require him to run errands and do small favors for them, but he was sure that being pushed and punched was _not_ what his father meant. The boy burned with anger as the older boys demanded he clean up spilled ink that he could not even see. The whole thing was completely ridiculous and the boy planned to complain to the training master as soon as possible. This was not right!

Suddenly, a different voice interrupted the hazing scene. The boy didn't recognize the voice, but Joren certainly did. It was Keladry of Mindelan, that pesky _girl -_ from a progressive barely-noble family - who wanted to ruin the realm by training with the boys to become a female knight. The beleaguered boy only registered the fact that his tormentors were moving away from him and beginning to menace 'The Girl' now.

"I'm sure you have classwork. Get to it." said The Girl. "These _boys_ and I have a debate to continue."

The boy had struggled to his feet, but he just stood there and blinked as the girl addressed him directly. Her statement clearly was a dismissal, but the boy only continued to stare at her. Joren 'heard' the boy's continuously confused thoughts.

_"Oh no! It's The Girl! What's her name? I can't remember it! Ye gods, it looks like those bullies are going after __her__ now. I must help her. Yes, that's what we're supposed to do here - help each other. What would my sponsor, Prince Roald do? They're __his__ year mates, and all of them are so much bigger than me. But __they__ were being mean - not helpful at all. I was only trying to go to the library to study. I've never seen so many books in my life! Invisible ink - what nonsense! If it's invisible, it can't stain anything anyway."_

Joren wanted to strangle the boy from the inside. What a scatterbrain! His confused thoughts irritated Joren to no end. Why didn't he _do_ something?

_"Oh no!"_ the boy thought again, as he stood by, watching the action. _"They attacked her! Merciful Mithros! The Girl can __really__ fight! I can't believe she just threw that big boy into the other one. Aagh! The white-haired boy just punched her in the eye! Look at her - she's not backing down. Good one! She just took out his knee. Uh oh, now they're all on the floor. Kel - that's her name! She's so tough! __I__ want to be able to fight like Kel. I should not have let those older pages bully me. I'll show them - I may not know how to fight like a knight, but I can wrestle like my cousins taught me!"_

Suddenly, the boy launched himself onto Garvey's back, wrapped one arm around the bigger boy's throat and started punching with his free hand. Garvey spun around and elbowed the boy in the nose. Joren felt and heard the crunch. Blood started pouring down over the boy's lips. Then Garvey slammed the boy into one of the bookcases and shook him loose. The boy's head was ringing, but he struggled to get back on his feet as he saw the white-haired boy choking Kel. He was really starting to despise that guy. He tried to jump back into the fray, but somber-looking palace servants had arrived and were separating the brawlers. The boy made his way over to Kel and pulled her to her feet. He looked up into her bruised face, and with much admiration in his voice, exclaimed aloud,

"That was _jolly_! Did you learn to fight like that _here_?"

* * *

Joren was startled to realize that because he was feeling what the boy felt, he now hated the white-haired page - his younger self. Joren also felt the awe and admiration the boy felt for his nemesis, Kel, as he watched her fight off the three bullies. Obviously, Joren had never observed himself in action in this way and, although he desperately wanted to admire his own fighting skills and techniques, he could not overcome the feelings of disgust that the boy had for a person who would bully and attack either a little boy or a girl in a dress. Also, Joren had never stopped to think about the ways Kel defended herself and others. As he observed her fighting through this young boy's eyes, even he could appreciate the way she handled herself. This was different alright - it was positively awful.

"It's different isn't it?" drawled the Chamber/Joren.

"Too different. I don't like it. I think I've seen and felt enough." Joren said stonily. "I get it - I was a big bad bully. My friends were bullies. I was mean to the new little lads. I have felt their pain. I promise I won't ever do it again. May we leave now?"

"Not yet. You need to witness what happened next, even though you were not physically present for all of it. I trust you will see gain more perspective as you see things through this boy's eyes. You may find it instructive."

"Fine. But, must I stay within this sorry little lad? He is such a mess! No wonder we picked on him. We should have made him run up and down the stairs a hundred times or so, instead of doing the whole invisible ink routine. He could stand to miss a few meals, too - or at least the desserts. And his fighting - if you could call it that - is appalling. His thoughts of strategy were all a jumble of puppies and dogs and other children wrestling around in the grass. Honestly, he's only a noble-born country bumpkin. Unfortunately, the palace is full of them these days - them and those jumped-up merchants that pass for nobles like the Mindelan rabble. And surely there were other first-years who didn't _idolize _the Lump. Why couldn't you have put me with someone else, rather than this petulant child?"

"You sound like a petulant child yourself. This is your seventh such 'visit' and it's the first one to have such an impact on you. I thought we were going to have to do this several more times until you gained some insight. There are many lessons here if you only open your mind to them. The world does not revolve around you and your way of thinking - that's how you got into this mess in the first place. Surely you must have realized this by now. That's why you must stay right where you are - _and_ listen and learn."

* * *

The next series of events really shocked Joren. He watched through the boy's anxious eyes as each of the senior pages, including his haughty-sounding self, and then Keladry, reported to Lord Wyldon that they had all merely fallen down. The training master declared that the servants had reported them fighting. Kel reaffirmed the 'falling down' story and Lord Wyldon look perilously close to losing his temper. Instead, he dismissed the older boys and gave Kel and Owen (now Joren knew the boy's name) punishments. Joren was very interested to find out that Kel's punishment required her to climb up to a certain height. All of the older pages knew about her irrational fear of heights.

Owen was indignant at the injustice of the whole situation and was getting ready to say something about it, but Kel bumped into him and he lost the opportunity to speak up. She then dragged Owen out of Lord Wyldon's office after the training master dismissed them. Owen turned his indignation on Kel, but she shut him down by explaining how things were done.

"You aren't supposed to say anything except that you fell down. Whatever punishment he gives you, whatever he says, you take it in silence." Kel explained.

Joren felt Owen's anger wane a tiny bit, but then it flared up again as he thought about the library incident.

"But they started it! You were helping out another noble, like we're supposed to, and they waded into you."

Even when Kel and the boy came into the company of the Prince and their other friends, Kel was even-tempered and calm as they berated her for 'going on patrol' without them. Owen got angry at their friends and stuck up for Kel's sticking up for him. Joren could feel that the boy's thoughts were very clear about this. He praised Kel's fighting skills and resisted her urging Nealan of Queenscove to heal his wounds. It was a matter of _honor_ to Owen.

This made Joren think. In all the times he had brawled with the Lump, she never did admit to Lord Wyldon that it was him and his cronies that beat her. He could only remember one time when she ever ran away from a fight, and that was right after she had arrived at the palace for her probationary year. She just took all the punishments, even the ones that challenged her the most, and never showed any overt malice toward him. Unbelievable!

* * *

"Yes, it is quite unbelievable how a 'jumped-up merchant's daughter' showed more honor and integrity than one of the bluest-blooded scions of the realm," drawled the Chamber/Joren, as the two of them sat atop Joren's favorite hill again.

Joren hated it when the Chamber insisted on using his own image to taunt and test him. These 'learning experiences' were bad enough, but having his very own sneering face and snide voice administering the lessons was becoming unbearable.

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A/N: Please R & R! Thanks!


	6. Twisted Thoughts

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS and I only wish I did.**

**A/N: This chapter is a bit dark, but I needed to set the stage for a future event. Please bear with me - I promise this story **_**will be **_**Kel/Joren eventually. Thanks for your patience!**

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**Twisted Thoughts**

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Kel put a hand on the door and leaned into the opening, making sure he could see her clearly. "If I hear of you bothering any female, not just her, I'll take you before the court of the Goddess. I'll risk making an enemy of the pack that whelped you."

_Vinson blanched under his scratches and pimples. A man convicted of hurting women in the Goddess' court faced harsh penalties; those for actual rape were the worst of all. The temples maintained their own warriors to enforce the Goddess' law._

_"I never want to see the wench again" he snapped, his voice cracking. "I'd give anything never to see _you_." He slammed the door._

_Tamora Pierce, Squire_

* * *

Joren looked down at the blood-stained wash rag in his hands. When he looked at the reflection in the mirror on the wall above the wash basin, he winced along with the person he was now 'visiting.' Scratches and peck marks covered the face, which was not all that good-looking to begin with. Joren understood his friend Vinson of Genlith's pained expression. There was a lot of damage to his pimply, pock-marked skin. Joren wondered what had happened.

"Explore his memories," urged the Chamber. "They are very fresh due to the pain - you should be able to see them clearly as he tends to his injuries."

Joren then realized for the first time that he _could _detect a difference between thoughts and memories quite easily. Vinson's thoughts were clear, like seeing through a clean glass window. Vinson's memories had a hazy quality to them, like seeing something through a curtain of light gauze. It was simple to go back and forth between the two. Joren was repulsed by what he saw in his friend's mind. Everything was so twisted; both the thoughts and the memories were bitter, malevolent, painful and harsh. Joren knew at that moment he would not enjoy this 'learning experience' any better than the other ones.

Joren entered into Vinson's memories of what had caused the injuries to his face. Vinson had seen the maid sewing within a deep window sill. He knew the girl was the personal servant of the Lump, Keladry of Mindelan. Oh, how he hated the Lump - he still refused to call her by her proper name! He had been confident that he and his friends, especially his best friend Joren of Stone Mountain, would have gotten rid of her by now. Vinson had lost a large sum of money on several wagers with his conservative cousins because he had assured them that Kel would be gone by the middle of the first year, then by the end of the summer camp-out, then by the next midwinter, then after the little exams, and so on. Not only did the Lump stay and thrive, but she somehow secured the services of this maid. Vinson knew his family had much more wealth than the 'jumped-up merchant' Mindelan clan, but his stingy father would not pay for _him _to have a personal servant. It just wasn't right!

At first, Vinson had only wanted to steal a kiss and maybe a squeeze, but he became enraged when the silly girl fought him off. Then he wanted to hurt the maid - to punish her for her insolence. He was a noble - she was a nothing. During their struggle, Vinson had started thinking about all of the other girls who had rebuffed him. He knew he wasn't handsome - even his friends often made unkind remarks about his pimples and his sallow complexion and his awkwardness. But this low-born servant of the hated Lump would _not_make a fool of him. He had grabbed the maid by the hair, with plans to drag her into the bushes and assault her, when a flock of sparrows started to attack him. Vinson then remembered that the Lump always had birds around her. He had yowled and cursed as the birds pecked at his face and hands and the maid clawed at him. He was making progress at pulling the girl from her window seat, when the Lump, in all her meddlesome glory, came to the maid's rescue. Vinson's leg still ached where the Lump had kicked him, and his face still stung where she had slapped him. He felt disgusted at himself for not continuing to fight the girl page - he was sure his friend Joren would _not_ have backed down from the Lump.

Then Vinson had started thinking about how Joren would have handled things differently with the maid and with the Lump anyway. Joren began to feel Vinson experience a strange mix of intense jealousy and an almost worshipful awe. Vinson really wanted to be more like Joren, but he knew that was impossible. Although his family was just as wealthy and powerful as his friend's family, Vinson was painfully aware that he lacked Joren's good looks and charisma. He burned with envy at the memories of how ladies always competed for Joren's attention - and how Joren always had his pick of the swarming ladies. Vinson thought that if _Joren _had been the one to snatch the maid, she probably wouldn't have minded - or fought - one bit. Vinson ground his teeth together and decided he had had enough of languishing in Joren's shadow. He silently vowed to take what he wanted and to not _allow_ any girl refuse him anymore.

Just then, someone knocked on Vinson's door, but didn't wait for him to invite them in. The spirit Joren felt the jolt of embarrassment and self-loathing that Vinson experienced as the squire Joren, looking poised and self-assured as always, burst into his room. Joren watched through Vinson's eyes as his younger self stopped short of the table and gaped at Vinson's ravaged face.

"What was all that commotion about? Why was the Lump over here and ... Mithros' beard! What happened to you?" exclaimed Joren.

Vinson fought to keep his voice nonchalant. "The Lump's maid decided to play hard to get. I almost had her, but her _mistress_ interrupted and sent the maid back to her chambers. I think she just wants to keep the wench all to herself, if you know what I mean."

Joren had guffawed at the idea of Kel being with her maid in any kind of physical way, but let Vinson salve his wounded pride without further comment on the incident.

"Come on,"Joren urged his friend, "I know a healer who won't ask questions _and_ he won't tell the training master. He'll fix you up to be as good as new, and no one will be the wiser. You don't want to let the Lump and her maid ruin our plans for a fun night at the tavern, do you?"

Actually, Vinson had forgotten that he had been looking forward to going out with his friends that night. Now, with the help of Joren's secretive healer, he could still go to town, have some ale and perhaps bed a serving wench. That would make all the day's unpleasantness go away, even if he had to pay. He quickly changed his clothes and let Joren lead him to the healer. After that, the two of them met up with their friends as planned at a favorite tavern in the lower city.

Much later that night, Vinson committed the first of his assaults on a young serving girl who had refused to sit on his lap after she brought him his ale.

The Chamber forced Joren to stay within Vinson's twisted thoughts and witness his evil acts as his friend followed the poor girl and forced her into a dark alley. Joren couldn't escape from the 'visit' until Vinson stumbled back to his own bed chamber and fell into a fitful slumber. Joren was never happier to feel the now-familiar ripping sensation of freedom than he was at that moment. He also knew that if he were back in his own body, he would have vomited right then and there.

* * *

"Why? Why did you make me go _there_?" Joren asked the Chamber once they were back on his familiar grassy hilltop. "What was I supposed to learn from all of _that_? Vinson was always sort of ... different, I suppose ... but I _never_ thought he was that deranged. I thought he was mostly alright - until after his Ordeal."

"Really?" questioned the Chamber/Joren, raising an eyebrow in a gesture that Joren knew too well mirrored his own disbelief. "You _never_ wondered where Vinson disappeared to after your tavern excursions? You _never _thought about the comments he made, thanking you for referring him to your discreet healer? You thought your friend was _alright_?"

"He was just confused," defended Joren. "Vinson's thoughts were just as jumbled up as that last boy's - Owen's - thoughts. Well, maybe ... in a different way ... obviously. Being inside of Vinson's mind was awful! I never knew he had so much difficulty with the ladies. I just thought he was too shy and clumsy for his own good. Garvey and I used to ... joke about it to him all the time. I suppose that wasn't very helpful after all."

"Obviously not," drawled the Chamber/Joren. "What do you think now?"

"I really used to like Vinson, but now I just feel sorry for him." Joren looked back at his family's castle and then returned his gaze to the stony valley below. "I never realized that he thought he was in competition with me. We've known each other since childhood. We even had the same private riding instructor before we became pages. Our parents were happy to send us off to the palace training together. But seeing Vinson's deranged thoughts and feeling his unbelievable jealousy towards me ... well ... it's ... I ... I feel _defiled_! He's absolutely pathetic."

Joren looked away and sat in silence for a long while. Then he turned back to the Chamber/Joren and quietly asked, "What will happen to Vinson now?"

The Chamber/Joren seemed to stare oddly at Joren before he answered. "I do not know. You mortals are unpredictable. Vinson always was a loyal friend to you, even in his most demented moments, but he may be beyond help. I still have him in my grasp. I know you witnessed my power over him when I let him depart from the stone chamber to confess his crimes to the magistrate. Vinson will continue to feel every blow, every slap and every violation that he committed against those women, until the magistrate sentences him to a just punishment. Only then will your friend be allowed to experience peace."

"Will he ... will Vinson live?" asked Joren.

"Perhaps," replied the Chamber/Joren, with a thoughtful look on his face. "You mortals have interesting ways of deciding what is just, and your laws are tricky - as you should know quite well. If the gods deem the punishment too lenient, Vinson may continue to feel the effects of _my _punishment for some time. It is too soon to tell. He may decide to take matters into his own hands if it all becomes too unbearable for him."

Joren was alarmed. "You don't mean ... he can't ... he wouldn't _kill_ himself, would he?"

The Chamber/Joren shrugged. "It has happened before. Some men decide that they can't live with themselves once they are forced to face up to their crimes and misdeeds. The Dark God always has a special place awaiting _them_."

Joren whispered, "Is that where I will go, too?"

The Chamber did not answer him.

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A/N: Please continue to R & R. Thanks!


	7. Duty and Honor

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS and I only wish I did.**

**Duty and Honor**

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"What honor has a nation when a female lives among men and pretends to their profession of arms? What honor is there in forcing a good, brave knight like Wyldon of Cavall, a hero of the realm, to accept this creature into training and to allow her to continue?"

_"I was not forced, Joren," Lord Wyldon told him. "She earned her right to stay, as much as - more than - you lads. Against odds that might have broken one of you."_

_"I understand that you are honor bound to say so, my lord," Joren said quietly. "The conclusions I draw are my own."_

_ - Tamora Pierce, Squire_

* * *

When Joren opened his eyes this time, he realized that he was rubbing his temples with his forefingers. Whoever this person was that he was now 'visiting' had a very intense headache. He also was sitting at a large desk, with a piece of parchment and a primed quill on it. The man stared out the window of his office into the dark midwinter's night sky. As the man placed his hands on the desk, Joren saw that they were large, strong-looking and scarred. He picked up the quill and then put it down again. He sat back in his chair, closed his eyes, and became lost in his thoughts. At the Chamber's urging, Joren became lost within the man's thoughts, too.

Oddly, the first thing the man thought about was the fall of Vinson of Genlith, the squire who had just failed in the Chamber of the Ordeal. He remembered the young man as he was when he was a new page. Vinson had been tall and scrawny even back then. He was a middling student and a fair swordsman, but he excelled in his horsemanship. The lad was a bit shy, but showed more boldness when he was with his constant companions, Joren of Stone Mountain and Garvey of Runnerspring. There had been quite a lot of trouble when the three of them hazed and then brawled with the girl page, Keladry of Mindelan, but then they all seemed to calm down as they got older.

The man had heard that Vinson was a good squire to his knight master and appeared to be well-prepared for his Ordeal, so it had been shocking to everyone when the disheveled squire tumbled out of the Chamber requesting to see the magistrate. The man was horrified to hear Vinson crying and confessing the vilest crimes against several village women, all the while seeming to be beaten by invisible hands. He felt shame for the young man and for his proud family. He felt shame for himself.

The next thing the man thought about was the decline Joren of Stone Mountain. He remembered how promising the young page had been when he arrived at the palace. The lad rode like a champion, and was one of the best natural swordsmen the man had ever seen. It didn't hurt that Joren was tall and good-looking, either. He also could be charming - when he wanted to be. The man had even reported to Joren's father how well his son was doing for two years straight. But all that had changed for the worst when the girl page came for training. The man saw Joren transform from a focused young page to a spiteful, vindictive menace. Of course, the man had known about the traditional hazing Joren had participated in when he was a second-year page - the lad had gained quite a reputation for his cleverness. But when Joren was a third- and fourth-year page, the hazing became brawling - with the girl no less! The man had assumed the troubles would all go away when the girl went away, but the Mindelan girl was tenacious and never left.

The man rubbed his temples again when he thought about the trial that he had recently witnessed. He never could have imagined that this young man was capable of the crimes of which he had been accused. Joren was responsible for that particularly nasty piece of business against the Mindelan girl. The man could barely believe it when he saw the son of one of the most powerful lords in the kingdom being disrespectful to his own lawyer and the Lord Magistrate. Joren blatantly admitted to paying common thugs to kidnap the Mindelan girl's maid and hold her captive. Those actions had caused Keladry to miss the exams for becoming a squire - _and_ the girl was injured while she rescued her maid. On top of it all, the young man had scoffed at the customs and laws of the realm, spat in the courtroom, and stormed out without being properly dismissed. The man had been horrified and embarrassed. The man cringed as he remembered how Joren's own knight master, the honorable Lord Paxton of Nond, had begged for mercy and understanding to the Lord Magistrate. Again, the man felt shame for another young man and his family, and himself.

The shame for the man felt for Joren and his behavior was even deeper as he recalled the way Joren had presumed to know how he felt about accepting and training Keladry of Mindelan. The man had tried to correct Joren's thinking, but he knew his words had had little impact on his former student. He later learned that Joren had pressed several of his friends into challenging Squire Keladry to jousts during the King's Grand Progress. To her credit, Keladry usually won those contests. The man knew that Joren had already begun his Ordeal several hours earlier, and he hoped there would not be another scene such as what had happened with the Genlith boy. He stared down at the blank parchment again.

Not for the first time, the man wondered how he had missed such glaring personal flaws in both Vinson and Joren. He felt the weight of responsibility press down on his conscience. His sense of duty and honor sustained him as he did what he felt he had to do next. The man sighed heavily, picked up his quill and began to write:

_To Jonathan IV, King of Tortall, and Thayet, His Queen -_

_It is with great sorrow and regret that I am hereby tendering my resignation from the post of Royal Training Master, effective immediately. In light of current events surrounding the criminal proceedings against two of the young men in my charge, I believe my training methods must be flawed in some fundamental way. I am no longer confident that I can fulfill my duties in an honorable manner. I respectfully request to return to my duties as a knight of the realm and be assigned to a post on the northern border in time to defend against the spring raids. Thank you for your trust and support these past fifteen years._

_Sincerely,_

_Wyldon, Lord of Cavall_

* * *

Joren couldn't believe what he was seeing. This had to be a mistake. What was Lord Wyldon doing?

"There is no mistake," said the Chamber/Joren. "Wyldon is serious about resigning. Your trial - and, more importantly, your _behavior_ during your trial - was devastating to his sense of honor. Now he has seen your friend, Vinson of Genlith, barely released from _my_ grip after confessing to horrible crimes - crimes against the very women a knight is charged with protecting. He sees your failures as his own failures."

"But Lord Wyldon has done nothing except serve this kingdom with honor and valor. He truly is a hero! It was a privilege to have him as my training master. I learned so much from him. He can't resign just because I ... just because we ... Vinson and I didn't live up to the principles he taught us. Those were _our_ failings, not _his_. This is not right!" exclaimed Joren, as he felt Wyldon's pounding headache more fiercely. The training master had closed his eyes and was now thinking about sitting next to his own hearth, surrounded by his favorite hounds. The pain in his head began to subside.

"Yes, well, Wyldon has always taken his duties and responsibilities seriously," the Chamber /Joren explained. "He understands that he missed vital clues about the character flaws that you and Vinson, and others like the two of you, displayed during your page years. He knew about the hazing and the abuses against the youngest pages - everyone at the palace did. None of you were as sneaky as you thought - and the servants do gossip. Many knights have barely made it through their Ordeals with _me_ because they had to atone for the hazing and dishonorable acts they committed, as well as the bad attitudes they developed, when they were pages."

"Still, none of that was Lord Wyldon's _fault_. He always punished brawlers - some more than others. He even scolded me on several occasions."

"Ah, yes he did, but only when he - or others mostly - caught you and those who followed you. He now realizes that back then he could have molded your characters differently because you were not so set in your ways. Back then, he had the most influence over every aspect of your lives - once you became squires, your knight masters had primary responsibility for you. Back then, he could have tried any number of techniques to redirect your attitudes and activities, but he did not focus on these things. That, he feels, is his greatest failing - he didn't focus on the right things."

"That's ridiculous! We all learned excellent horsemanship and weaponry and chivalry from Lord Wyldon. He's the best there ever was!"

"Did you just say _chivalry_? Is this the same Code of Chivalry that you consider - and I quote - 'a joke'?"

Joren winced and bleakly remembered his surly attitude during the preparations for his Ordeal. He remembered the defiance with which he entered the Chamber. The Chamber had rightly accused him of unworthiness, arrogance, and malice. It seemed like such a long time ago, but he knew that time had no relevance in his current circumstance. Now he realized his dishonorable behavior was a major cause of the resignation of the man he respected the most. Joren thought that he was more alone and more pathetic than anyone else in the world.

"Don't be so melodramatic," drawled the Chamber/Joren. "Wyldon will be fine - more than fine, I'm sure. _You're_ not done yet - I have another 'visit' for you, and then there will be new decisions for you to make."

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A/N: Thanks for the reviews - please keep them coming!


	8. Days Go By

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS and I only wish I did.**

**Days Go By**

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Kel woke, breathing fast, her eyes shining. Her heart raced; she trembled all over. The dream was not scary; it was exciting. She loved it. She loved that it had all been real.

_I want to be like that, she told herself as she always did. I want to protect people. And I will. I'll be a hero one day, just like Mama. Just like the Lioness._

_Nobody will kill two kittens in front of me then._

_- Tamora Pierce, First Test_

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Rrrip!

"Ow!" exclaimed Joren. He had barely settled in to his latest 'visit' when the Chamber tore him away and forced him within someone else. It had been a strange sensation, as though he had been 'visiting' an infant or very young child who was being held by its mother or wet nurse. He had felt warm and secure and, oddly enough, loved. It was a wonderful place and Joren wouldn't have minded staying there for a while.

_**Rrrip!**_

"Ow!" Joren felt his neck being squeezed tight. Suddenly, it felt as though the ground had dropped out from under his feet - and it had. The person he was 'visiting' now was obviously terrified as a larger someone held him tightly by his shirt collar over the edge of a high tower wall. When the person screamed, and looked down, Joren realized from the clothing that he was "visiting' a little girl. Her heart was pounding very quickly and Joren experienced every moment of her terror as an older lad of perhaps twelve or thirteen held the girl up higher and laughed.

"Conal!" the girl child screamed. "Mama! Papa!" she cried repeatedly, fear making her little voice shaky and frantic. Tears blew away from her eyes as the wind whipped all around her. Joren shared the girl's extreme fright as her skirts flew up into her face and her legs felt cold. Finally, the boy brought the little girl back in over the edge and let go of her collar. She curled up into a tight ball, trembling and crying, as the boy continued to laugh.

"Oh, stop your crying, Kel," said the lad. "It's only a game. Don't be such a baby!"

"Master Conal!" the man-at-arms called up from the ground level, "I hope never to see you do that again, young sir. In fact, I've just informed the Baron of your actions against your little sister. Your father is on his way up there to deal with you now."

Joren heard Conal mutter a curse and then he could only hear and feel the pitiful crying and shuddering of the young girl he now knew to be his enemy, Keladry of Mindelan.

_**Rrrip!**_

"Ow!" Joren cried, as he fell on the shiny hardwood floor and felt something heavy fall on top of him. It was the body of a strange-looking woman, with long black hair. An arrow was sticking out of her back. There was a smell of smoke in the air and he heard a lot of yelling nearby.

"Come on, Kel! Hike up those skirts and run!" Yelled a tall, pale-haired woman, with a blade-capped staff in one hand and a pair of gold-sheathed swords in the other.

Joren watched in fascinated horror as the girl ran after the woman and became trapped by large ugly men, who looked and sounded like Scanrans. Joren experienced the shock and awe Kel felt as her mother cut down four of the attackers with her long weapon, which Kel identified in her mind as a glaive. Joren could feel and smell the blood that sprayed Kel and her mother every time the woman defeated an attacker. Joren brooded as he watched through Kel's eyes and saw the Yamani soldiers honor her mother for protecting their sacred artifacts from the Scanran raiders. He had never known the details of this event in Kel's life, and it shamed him to recall that when he was the same age that Kel was here, he had been whining and complaining about his mother not giving him the baby brother he had wanted so much.

_**Rrrip!**_

"Ow!" Joren thought again, as a fist connected with the eye of this new person. Then he realized he was still 'visiting' Kel, only she was older and stronger this time. He half expected to see a younger version of himself as her opponent, but it was some other lad - a commoner from the looks of him. He, and a bunch of boys like him, had called Kel 'The Cow' and now they all were brawling on the banks of a stream. After the lads ran off, Joren experienced the horror of Kel facing a spidren and fighting the beast by attacking it with rocks. He felt Kel's anger and helplessness when the monster ate two of the kittens that Kel had been trying to save from the village boys in the first place. Joren grudgingly acknowledged that The Lump had a lot of nerve - and he was beginning to understand why she didn't know her proper place.

_**Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip!**_

In quick succession, the Chamber forced Joren to experience Kel's first days at the palace - the humiliating first conference with Lord Wyldon and her parents, the anger being called a probationer, the dismay at seeing her vandalized room, and the controversy over who would be her sponsor. He heard her thoughts about trying to maintain a Yamani-like calm mask in the face of so much turmoil. Joren suspected that the Chamber was trying to get him to empathize with The Lump, but he resisted seeing anything from his enemy's point of view. Joren did not want any more 'visits' with Kel.

_**Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip!**_

Next, the Chamber forced Joren to experience, from Kel's point of view, all of the fights that his younger self and Kel had ever had during her first year of training. He also had to relive all of the pranks and ridicule that he and his friends had heaped upon her. Joren marveled that Kel had figured out the weighted lance prank so quickly, but had said nothing to anyone about it. He had always assumed that she was too dim to know that her lance was heavier than everyone else's training lance. Joren even grudgingly acknowledged Kel's jousting skills when, after his younger self had given her a second weighted lance, she figured out how to hit the quintain target perfectly. Also, because of his earlier 'visit' with Kel's four-year-old self, he now understood her fear of heights whenever Lord Wyldon made her climb to high places. Still, Joren stubbornly resisted gaining Kel's perspective on all these events. He did not want to care about her crusades against bullying or elitism, and he did not want to feel the way she felt about her year mates or her horse. He did not want to experience her elation when Lord Wyldon told her she could continue to be a page. Joren did not want to know Kel at all.

_**Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip! **_

"Ow!" Joren thought as he experienced the same brawl he went through when he was 'visiting' Owen of Jesslaw, only this time he saw it through Kel's eyes. He was sick of being sent back to 'visit' Kel, and having to live through event after tiring event of his enemy's life. He 'sweated' with Kel as she woke up early and did all of her exercises and practiced with her glaive before breakfast. He felt her exasperation at dealing with her timid maid, Lalasa. Joren truly was horrified when he experienced Kel's bodily adjustments and her first monthlies, too. He wanted to gag when her heart fluttered over her crush on Neal. It annoyed Joren immensely that Kel was so good with her academic studies - especially when he remembered how much he had struggled with math and science. Once again, he grudgingly acknowledged that Kel was skilled in the combat arms as he realized that she was the only page who was thinking clearly during the fight with the hill bandits. How embarrassing it must have been for those male pages! He was glad he had not been there to witness the shame of it. Incredibly, Joren still felt the same way as he had since he met Kel - that she should never have been allowed to train with the lads. Everyone knew that all _proper_ girls belonged at the convent school. Women, the Lioness notwithstanding, should leave the fighting to men.

_**Rrrip! **_

Then the Chamber allowed Joren to 'rest' by experiencing one complete day within Kel's perspective, instead of jumping around to so many individual events. It was the day that Kel's lance shattered during tilting practice and Lord Wyldon discovered she had been using weighted training weapons from the start. Joren was just as shocked as the training master had been. That was the same day Kel agreed to let her maid start taking on outside sewing work, and the two of them discussed future plans for a dress shop. Joren thought he'd go crazy from the boredom of having to hear about dressmaking and wages and womanly pursuits. Later that evening Kel had a long conversation with Lord Raoul, who seemed to know all the palace gossip, including Kel's progress as a page, and treated Kel like a regular person. The entire day's events irritated Joren and he was almost glad when he felt the ripping sensation again.

_**Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip!**_

Joren wanted to scream his frustration as the Chamber again sent him through several more 'visits' with Kel. Would this torture never end? What was the point of him reliving _Kel's_ life? Why did he have to watch his younger squire self ask for a 'fresh start' at friendship with Kel? Why did he have to experience her confusion when he followed her to the curtain wall and told her she could be a good wife for either Cleon of Kennan or Lord Raoul? Why did he have to see himself through her eyes again and again? Joren was not at all surprised when the Chamber forced him relive the entire day of Kel's big exams - the day _his _treachery forced her to miss her exams in order to rescue her maid from the top of Balor's Needle. What _did _surprise Joren was his discovery that, after all the trauma and terror of the rescue, Kel truly was prepared to accept any punishment from Lord Wyldon. She even offered to repeat her page years. Joren heard her thoughts and felt her submission to the rules. This girl was unbelievably humble and noble! Joren resented her all the more, but now he agreed with Lord Wyldon - everything would have been so much better for everyone if only Keladry had been born a boy.

_**Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip! Rrrip!**_

If it had been physically possible, Joren would have strangled the Chamber. His senses felt raw from what seemed to be a hundred more fast-paced 'visits' with Kel. Joren was overwhelmed by the feelings the Chamber forced him to feel: Joy when Lord Raoul chose Kel to be his squire ... Agony when the renegade centaur attacked her ... Dismay when she realized she would have to care for the baby griffin she rescued ... Irritation when Lerant's jealousy became obvious ... Anxiety when she realized part of her training included tilting with Lord Raoul ... Amusement when the ladies at the bath house assumed her training bruises came from an abusive relationship ... Happiness when she discovered that the Yamani ladies were old friends from her childhood ... Rage at the process and outcome of Joren's trial for kidnapping Lalasa ... Righteous indignation when she confronted the King about the injustice of the law ... Satisfaction when she was able to get Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami to relax and enjoy being together ... Terror when she pressed her hands to the Chamber door and it gave her horrible visions ... Giddiness when her romance with Cleon blossomed ... Determination when she started jousting during the King's Progress ... Sadness when the griffin's parents took him away ... Dread when she prepared to joust Lord Wyldon ... Guilt when she realized Vinson must have committed his horrible crimes after she did not report his attack on Lalasa ...

_**Rrrip!**_

* * *

Joren's eyes were fixed on the horizon as he sat atop his favorite hill, but the beautiful view would not calm him the way it usually did. His thoughts were a whirlwind of confusing images, painful memories and terrifying thoughts. Joren despised the Chamber more than ever for the 'learning experiences' it had just forced him to go through. He felt confused and jumbled up - fragmented - and he hated those feelings as much as he hated the Chamber.

"You're still in one piece after all of that, I assure you, and your feelings toward me do not matter," drawled the Chamber/Joren, as though it had read his thoughts. "Tell me, what did you learn?"

"I learned that you are the most vicious and cruel being in all of existence to have forced me into reliving the life of my enemy. I don't care that she's so _noble_ - fighting for her fellow pages and teaching her maid self-defense. I don't care that she's so ... so _caring_ - saving everything from kittens to an ill-tempered horse to a baby griffin. And I truly don't care - and _really _didn't want to know - about her life as a female. Thank the gods I'll never have to deal with breast-bands and monthlies and crushes. Mithros! That was the worst thing I've ever experienced. How many more 'visits' do I have to make?"

"The longer it takes you to understand, the more 'visits' you will have," stated the Chamber/Joren.

"You _can't_ make me like her, no matter how many 'visits' you force upon me. Why does it matter if I hate the person who messed up everything for me? "

"Your hatred is much of the reason you are still here with me. It is amazing that you are still so filled with hate."

"Ha! I think _you_ must really hate _me_. How much more of this ... this ... torture do you expect me to endure?"

"I am the Chamber of the Ordeal. I have no mortal feelings. Everything you see in me is merely a manifestation of what you have seen in yourself. If it's hatred you see on this face, then you must realize that it is only a mirror of your own face. "

"So then, is this my punishment _- _my 'slow and unbearable' choice of a death? If I have to do _this_ for all of eternity, just kill me now and send me to the the Dark God. I don't care if you pity my soul forever."

"Be careful what you wish for," advised the Chamber/Joren. "Perhaps this _will_ be your 'punishment' as you say. Perhaps your next 'visit' will help you understand everything more clearly. We shall see."

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A/N: Sorry this is so long, but I hope you liked the way I presented this chapter. There was just so much 'history' to cover and I'm really trying to move the story along to something different, but it needs this background layer. Please let me know how it came across to you. Thanks!


	9. Choice of a Lifetime

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS and I'm just playing around in her world.**

**Choice of a Lifetime**

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_"_I make allowance for your grief_." Kel had never heard that tone of voice in Raoul's voice. White-hot rage seemed to smoke off his skin. "Go. Bury your boy." Raoul hauled the lord of Stone Mountain up one-handed and thrust him at his wife and brother. "While you do, ask yourselves where he learned to be so rigid that he shattered under the Ordeal. Get out."_

_They left. Kel shut the door, trembling._

_Raoul rubbed his face with both hands. "Gods," he whispered, "I need a drink."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

Joren's own thoughts reeled after the distraught man had burst into Kel's room, waking her up and accusing her of causing his son's death. Joren didn't want to believe what he was seeing. Shock and confusion filled both Kel and Joren as Lord Raoul attempted to calm the situation. Kel could not understand what the white-haired man was ranting about. Joren understood perfectly. The man was his father, Lord Burchard, and the other people were his mother and his uncle. This awful scene meant that he had not survived. Whatever the Chamber was doing, Joren knew then that his life truly was finished. He wanted to cry out to his mother and somehow comfort her, but he could only do what Kel was doing, which at that moment was nothing. Her mind was trying to absorb what had happened, but she couldn't. Kel didn't relax until after Lord Raoul had thrown out the grieving Stone Mountain clan and explained everything to her. Joren was numb, too, but he felt the pain again when the Chamber removed him from the situation.

* * *

Once again, Joren found himself sitting on his grassy hilltop, hugging his legs to his chest. "What was that ... that last 'visit' all about? Did my father truly attack Kel just then, or was that a vision of the future? Am I ... am I _dead _now?" Joren asked the Chamber, his voice breaking.

"Time and space are not the same here as in the Mortal Realm. Others have come and passed their Ordeals while you have remained with me," explained the Chamber/Joren in a casual tone of voice. "You are so stubborn that it has taken quite a while for you to show any of the attitude changes necessary for me to release you. All of the 'visits' were meant to help you understand and acknowledge the error of your ways - now you know what you need to know. There is not much more I can show you that would make a difference. Very few people have had the chance to experience life from so many different points of view. What have you learned?"

Joren sat there for a long time and pondered everything he had seen and heard during his 'visits' within other people. Something finally 'clicked' in his mind. He now realized - and regretted - the pain and anguish he had either caused or contributed to during his lifetime. He knew that his actions were his own responsibility and not just a product of his faulty upbringing. He also knew that his punishment in the Chamber of the Ordeal was just. If he had been back in his own body, he would have wept bitterly. Then Joren recalled looking down at his limp body in the middle of the stone floor of the Chamber. The expression frozen on his face had been one of despair. If he didn't know better, he would have thought he was just sleeping and dreaming. But Joren did know better. He was not dreaming; this was a _nightmare_, and he was ready for it to be over.

The Chamber/Joren sat next to him, watching his face intently.

Joren turned to his 'twin' and asked, "What will happen next? Earlier you said I have to make another decision. Has this been 'slow and unbearable' enough for you to ... for me to ... to be done? I can't bear any more 'visits' like the last one. I'm sorry for the way I lived my life - I truly am! If it was possible, I would go back in time and do many things differently."

"You cannot undo what has already been done. Some of the things you did, even the malicious ones, had tremendous effects you don't fully realize. I will tell you that because of you, Keladry had to work many times harder than any boy ever had to in order to earn her way and she is stronger now than most knights who have passed through my door. Because of you, Keladry finally vanquished her fear of heights, and gained the everlasting respect of those who witnessed her feat. Because of you, Keladry had to endure challenge after challenge as you goaded your friends to joust against her - now she is one of your realm's best warriors and she will go on to do greater things, as well as inspire others to do greater things, too. Because of you, the laws of your realm will change to provide more equality and better justice for all its citizens. No, you cannot go back in time - you may only choose which path to take next."

Joren made a rude noise and said bitterly, "I can hardly wait to hear what my next choices will be. How many times must I choose my cycle of death?"

"You should be grateful that the gods have decided to allow you to make another choice. This is beyond rare." declared the Chamber/Joren, his voice chilly with the disdain that Joren so despised, even though it was his own voice. "Now that you have seen and admitted to the errors of your ways, the Dark God _is _willing to usher you into the Peaceful Realms. You may choose to go with him and be done with me. The Great Mother Goddess, however, has seen in you the possibility of redemption. Therefore, you may choose to return to the Mortal Realm and live out the remainder of your life, however long that may be. However, Mithros has agreed to require you to meet the Goddess' conditions: make true amends for your misdeeds, live faithfully by your realm's Code of Chivalry and find love with your enemy, Keladry of Mindelan. If you fail to meet any of these conditions within one year's time, you will return to _me _and relive the worst moments of your life over and over again. After that, Mithros himself will send you to the blackest pit of the Dark God's realm - and I will not pity you."

Joren now stared at his mirror image with his mouth hanging open and his thoughts whirling around crazily. He realized that he no longer had to choose between certain kinds of death - one of his choices would allow him to live! He _knew_ he could make peace with his mother and all the other people he had harmed in some way. He _knew _he could live an honorable life and be the kind of knight who would make Lord Wyldon proud. He _knew_ he could ... well ... he _didn't _know if he could love Kel. The very thought of it made him cringe. Certainly, after everything that had happened between them, _she _couldn't love him, could she? How could he possibly find love with someone who hated him? The price of failure was extremely high. Was it worth the risk? Joren's mind nearly froze as he tried to make his decision, and the expression on his face was one of dismay.

"Ah, I can see you _do _understand that you should not make this choice lightly," drawled the Chamber/Joren. "You need to know that many things will have changed in your world since you entered this chamber. You have been away from your own body for a long time and it will not be easy to return to it. You can have eternal peace _now_ if you take the Dark God's choice. There is no guarantee of success with the Goddess' choice; indeed, it is highly likely that you will struggle and perhaps fail if you go back. Of course it will help that you may remember the things that happened while you were in here with me. Keep in mind though, it is like any other Ordeal and you may not speak of your experiences here to anyone. You must consider _everything_ very carefully."

* * *

Suddenly, Joren found himself back in the stone Chamber of the Ordeal. His "twin" was no longer with him, and neither was his physical body. It was dark and he was alone. He was facing the metal door of the Chamber, which he now could see because it glowed eerily. The carved face on the door seemed to come to life and speak to him, even though its mouth did not move. He heard the unnatural voice vibrate in his mind.

_"Joren of Stone Mountain, make your choice now."_

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A/N: Yikes! It's a cliff-hanger. (Oh yeah, like you _**can't**_** guess which choice he'll make) ;D Please R & R. Thanks! **


	10. Four Seasons: Winter

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS. Anything you recognize is hers, anything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: This is for my friend A.C., who wanted to know what Kel was doing all this time. There are four chapters (thus the title) about Kel, but I'll get back to Joren as soon as I can. Enjoy! **

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"Sir, think of the rest of us," Dom said pleadingly. "There's the Midwinter parties, and not all mothers look down their noses at younger sons -"

_"At least, not younger sons with money," quipped Lerant, his nose buried in his cider._

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

* * *

**Four Seasons: Winter, 463 H.E.**

**Fort Mastiff, Northeastern Tortall**

Dom shook snowflakes from his dark hair and stomped his feet against the cold. Kel yanked open the door to her private quarters and pulled him into the room before he had a chance to knock. She closed the door behind him, turned and gave him a big hug. After he hung his cloak on a peg by the hearth, Dom sat down next to Kel on her bed and placed a medium-sized package and two smaller wrapped bundles on her lap. "Midwinter's luck, Kel."

"What are you talking about, Dom? Midwinter is still weeks away from now." Kel said as she twisted her upper body to face him, her expression filled with confusion.

"Yes, well, I'm here _now_ and so are you. There's no telling when we'll see each other again - certainly not at Midwinter. You'll be here, of course, and I'll be at the palace. We leave for Corus in the morning, so I decided to give you your gifts tonight."

Third Company of the King's Own was passing through Fort Mastiff as they escorted King Jonathan back to Corus. The King and General Vanget had been visiting the soldiers at the northern army forts, inspecting their morale and physical conditions. Now that there was an uneasy peace between Tortall and Scanra, there had been many discussions at the King's court about how and when to reduce the number of knights and soldiers on the border without appearing weak and vulnerable to the Scanrans. Most of the nobles wanted as many of their knights and soldiers as possible to return to their home fiefs. Many knights - and noble ladies - were looking forward to a 'proper' Midwinter's celebration at the palace this year. Kel had volunteered to stay behind at the fort to allow some of her friends to enjoy the festivities they had not had since the war began.

"But ... but I don't have a gift for you, yet." Kel sputtered. "This isn't right!"

Dom leaned in and brushed a stray hair away from Kel's dreamy hazel eyes. Then he kissed Kel gently on her lips. The kiss deepened as she returned his passion. "There!" Dom said, as he pulled away, his voice now husky. "_That's_ the perfect gift for me. Now you can open these!"

Kel swatted him playfully, and then she unwrapped the package. She inhaled sharply when she pulled the framed picture away from the cloth that bound it. It was a detailed charcoal sketch of a lady knight, dressed in old-fashioned metal armor, standing with her hand on the hilt of her sword. She held her helmet in her other hand. Her braided black hair hung over her shoulder and was bound with what looked like some sort of metal-studded leather fastener. Kel looked up at Dom with an expression of wonder and surprise.

"So ... do you like it?" Dom asked.

"I love it! Where did you find such a thing? I've never seen anything like it. Who is she?"

Dom grinned at Kel and stood up. "Her name is Lady Gwyneth of Virelle." He started using his hands dramatically to tell the story. "She was a first century knight and she fought in the Battle of Three Rivers - _and _she raised five children. Some historians think the sketch might have been done sometime after the birth of her fifth child because of the five stars you can see drawn across her breastplate. Her family deserted their fief sometime during the second century, but no one knows why or where they disappeared to. Her former lands are now part of the University property. It's all very mysterious, but my scholarly cousin assured me that this is quite authentic. Neal researched through some of the oldest scrolls in the palace for this information. What do you think?"

"Neal helped you find this? Oh, Dom, it's the best present anyone ever gave me!" Kel gushed.

"Hush!" said Dom, still being very dramatic. "You'd better not let the Lioness hear you say that. Better yet, don't even let her see the sketch - she'll want to know why her former squire didn't find one for her, too. Then Neal will be in big trouble. Although ... on second thought, maybe you _should_ show it to her. I'd love to see Sir Meathead explain his way out of that one."

Kel shook her head in amazement. "There's so little proof to show people that women have fought for Tortall since its beginnings. I definitely want my nieces and nephews to see this sketch. It's ... it's wonderful!"

Dom beamed with his success. "Go ahead - open the other gifts now."

Kel tore into one of the bundles. "Oh! I needed these!" exclaimed Kel, as she held up a pair of fur-lined leather work gloves.

Dom smiled again as he remembered the prank that had resulted in a previous pair of Kel's gloves being burnt to uselessness. Wolset must have apologized a hundred times for 'borrowing' her gloves to place hot coals under Dom's boots to give him a 'hot foot' one morning. The fun-loving corporal had tried to frame Kel for the prank by leaving her gloves next to the boots. Unfortunately, the gloves continued to smolder and the smoke drove everyone from the tent. No one was happy that day and Dom ended up lending Kel his gloves when he went back south. Now, Dom watched as Kel got up from the bed and opened her trunk. After a moment of rummaging through her belongings, she found what she was looking for and ceremoniously returned Dom's own gloves to him.

"Two down, one more to go. Be careful with this one," warned Dom, his sapphire eyes sparkling in the candlelight.

When Kel sat down and opened the last bundle, a strange leather object fell out of the wrapping and clanked onto the floor. She jumped at the heaviness of it as its sharp metal points barely missed her foot. She exclaimed, "What in the Goddess' name is _that_?"

Dom gingerly picked up the object and held it out to Kel in the palm of his hand.

"Look at the sketch again," urged Dom. "Then you might recognize what this is."

Kel picked up the sketch and studied it carefully. Her eyes grew wide as she saw that the object in Dom's hand and Lady Gwyneth's hair fastener were nearly identical. She looked up at Dom and whispered, "Is this the same as ...?"

Dom nodded. "It is! Apparently, many lady knights did not cut their hair short - as you and Sir Alanna have done - so they wore these kinds of fasteners on their braids, or woven into their hair to keep their opponent's hands away from their pretty little heads. I know _I_ would think twice before trying to pull on someone's braid if it had all these spikes wrapped around it."

"But how did you find ...?"

"Actually a friend of Lalasa's - a very talented jewelry maker named Willa - designed this hair fastener by studying the sketch and then she recreated the piece from scratch. Willa's father is a tanner so she's worked around leather most of her life anyway," Dom smiled the smile of someone who is quite proud of himself. "I predict these sharp little accessories will become very popular again, as soon as all the other lady knights see you wearing yours."

Kel giggled and smiled back at him, but then she looked puzzled.

"It's wonderful, too - and so unique - but my hair isn't long enough to put your gift to good use."

"Yet - it's not long enough yet," Dom said carefully. "I was wondering if ... if you would consider growing out your hair. Don't jump to conclusions - I truly love you exactly the way you are, short hair and all. In fact, you're perfect!" He quickly added. "It's just that ... when I first saw the sketch of Lady Gwyneth, I had a sort of ... vision ...yes, a vision of what you would look like with hair as long as hers. And I think the hair fastener is, well, as _exciting_ as it is dangerous."

Kel noticed that Dom was blushing and then she realized he was telling her that his vision of her with longer hair made his blood run hot. She knew she was blushing now, too. Kel hadn't had long hair since before she was a page; she wasn't sure she could handle it anymore, but after seeing the look in Dom's eyes, she was willing to give it a try. She stood up and wrapped her arms around Dom's neck and kissed his lips.

"I love all my presents - they're marvelous! I'll hang the sketch on my office wall for all to see - even the Lioness. I'll definitely wear my new gloves tomorrow. And I do want to wear this hair fastener, especially since you had it made just for me - especially because it's so _dangerous and exciting_." Kel chewed on her lower lip for a moment, took a breath and then looked into Dom's shining eyes. "So, I've decided to let my hair grow out - if that's what you really want. It may take a while, but longer locks will be my true Midwinter's gift to you."

Dom spun Kel around in his embrace, kissing her deeply. She kissed him back and hugged him tighter. Then he pulled her down onto the bed with him, and blew out the candles.

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A/N: This was also for all you Kel/Dom shippers. I can't promise you this will go well, because I'm headed in the direction of Kel/Joren. Just fair warning, but I hope you enjoy it while you can. Please R&R. Thanks!


	11. Four Seasons: Spring

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS. Anything you recognize is hers, anything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: This is the second of four chapters about what Kel was doing all this time. Enjoy! **

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As Kel, Seaver, and Neal rose to go, Merric asked, "Kel? A word?"

_She waited until Neal closed the door after him. "What is it?"_

_He swallowed. "Are you scared?" he asked blue eyes huge in his bone-white face._

_Kel reviewed the answers she could give, then said, "Witless."_

_Merric nodded. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his chin. "I can do this."_

_She smiled. "I know you can."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

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Four Seasons: Spring, 464 H.E.

**Fort Mastiff, Northeastern Tortall**

Kel looked up from the message on the desk and sighed heavily. Tears filled her eyes, but she willed them not to fall. She then motioned to her longtime friend Merric to sit down in a chair next to the desk. She pretended not to notice that his eyes were red-rimmed and shiny with unshed tears.

"Merric, I'm so sorry. Did the healers say how long ...?"

"No, they didn't. But I should leave immediately in order to get to Hollyrose before my father ... before he passes on to the Peaceful Realms. My brother has already left the City of the Gods and I plan to meet up with him on the road south. It'll take us three days to get home, two days if we ride hard. Hopefully, we can make it there before ... well, in time."

"Is there anything I can do anything for you? Do you need more supplies for your journey?"

"I have what I need for my trip. I was already packing up my things anyway - you know, for our big move this summer. I suppose I'll have to send for everything else once I get settled."

Kel got up from the desk and walked over to the window. Merric followed and stood beside her. They looked out at the view of Fort Mastiff, where they both had been under the command of Alanna the Lioness for more than a year now. The Scanran War was mostly finished, but there were a few isolated areas of fighting, especially with clans that had a long history of raiding into Tortall every spring. Still, there was a lot less for the knights to do and many had returned to their home fiefs to recover from the war. Currently, Kel was the fort's acting commander while Alanna was in the Copper Isles attending her daughter Alianne's wedding. Kel put her hand on Merric's shoulder in support of his grief.

"I'm really going to miss having you as my 'right hand man' again."

"Me, too. Just think - you finally get a 'real' command and now I can't go with you. It's almost funny. You should have seen the look on General Vanget's face when I requested to be posted with you as your second-in-command. He couldn't believe I would want to do such a thing."

"Well, I wouldn't either! You had the chance to ask for _any _assignment, and you actually wanted to come with me to Fort Stonebridge - which is in the middle of nowhere. You could have asked for your own command."

"Kel, you and I both know that I'm not very good at all that 'people-stuff' you do so well. I like to ride out and patrol away from people and fight off wayward immortals and bandits. You actually care about, well, everything and everybody. You're a natural commander - 'The Protector of the Small' and all that - I'm just a simple, _average_ knight."

Kel turned Merric around to face her and looked directly into his pale blue eyes. She pushed back a lock of his straight red hair that had fallen into his face, just the way a mother would do for her child. Merric winced, and then smiled at her gesture.

"Merric! You're a wonderful knight - don't belittle yourself like that."

"See what I mean? Only _you_ would care what I say about myself."

"Well, you are one of my best friends and I have faith in you. You'll do great things as the next Baron of Hollyrose, I'm sure. I know your family will need your strength in the days to come. "

"I don't know how I'm going to handle everything. I'm not ready."

"Sure you are. You've been at my side and handled just as much as I did when we were in Haven and New Hope. I couldn't have managed without you. When I think of all the things my brother Anders does at Mindelan, I believe you can do just as well, maybe even better. Running your estate will be ... perhaps a different sort of challenge than running a refugee camp, but you can handle it. And just think - all of your residents know and care about you and your family already. They will help you succeed. In that way, it'll be _easier_ than running New Hope."

"Thanks, Kel. You always know how to look at the bright side of everything. It's one of the reasons I ... I ..."

Merric sighed and turned to face Kel. She saw that he was much paler than usual. He looked into her dreamy hazel eyes intently.

"Kel, if I ask you something, will you tell me the truth ... no matter what?"

"Of course I will! You should know me well enough by now. Merric, I'll always tell you the truth. That's what has made us such a good team."

"I mean it, Kel - I don't want you to try to spare my feelings just because things aren't so good for me right now."

"Alright, then. Ask your question and I promise to be honest no matter what."

Merric took a step to close the gap between them, wrapped his arms around Kel and kissed her passionately. At first, Kel was so surprised, she just stiffened, but after a moment she relaxed into his embrace. Merric increased the intensity of the kiss; Kel did not kiss him back. Instead, she slowly brought her hands up between them and gently pushed against his muscular chest. He reluctantly stopped kissing her, and when he let her go, he smiled ruefully. Then he turned back toward the window and sighed again, his shoulders slumped. Kel looked down at the floor.

"Thank you for being honest, Kel." he said as he turned to face her again, "Gods, I've wanted to do that for _so long_ - ever since the night before my Ordeal. Do you remember how nervous I was back then?"

"Weren't we all?" Kel searched Merric's eyes and quietly asked, "But ... why this ... why now?"

"I love you Kel. It's that simple. Sometimes it seems as though I've loved you forever - long before you became the incredible woman you are today. But it also seems that you see me only as more of a brother and _not_ a potential lover. I don't know how to change that, but I knew that if I didn't try this once - before I left - I would regret not knowing for certain. And now I know. The truth was there in your kiss."

Kel knew she was blushing as she stuttered, "Merric, I don't ... I don't know what to say. I don't want to cause you any more pain - especially now. "

"It's alright, Kel. I just hope we can still be friends after this. Please tell me I haven't messed up what we've had. Your friendship means everything to me."

"I will _always _be your friend, Merric." Kel smiled at him and playfully punched him in the arm. "And I won't let a surprisingly good kiss get in the way of that."

Merric looked at Kel with an impish grin on his face. "Surprisingly good, huh? As good as a certain _Sergeant's_ kisses?"

Kel looked down at the floor again, blushing an even brighter red than before.

"That's what I thought. He's a good man, Kel. And a lucky one, too. If anything ... well, if it doesn't work out ... I ... well ... Anyway, will you write to me and tell me about your command?"

"Yes, of course I will, but I expect to hear from you, too. Maybe once you get everything settled, you'll be able to visit Fort Stonebridge and see it for yourself. The mountain views are supposed lovely."

"How long do you think it will be before General Vanget finds a replacement for me?"

"Who knows? I think you're the only person who actually wanted the job. I'm still 'The Girl' to far too many knights. The Lioness once told me that a lot of men _think _they're progressive - until it's time to work for a woman. You, Sir Merric are a rare breed."

"Well, we've worked together since we were pages, and you know that I mean it when I say I'd follow you anywhere. Begging the King's forbearance, my shield and sword are yours to command. Whenever you need me, I'll be there for you, Kel."

The two friends embraced with just a tiny hint of awkwardness and kissed each other's cheeks. Neither one spoke for a moment. Then Merric cleared his throat, and straightened his tunic. He looked the picture of a noble knight.

"I plan to leave after the noon meal today."

"I'll be waving at you from the gate then."

"Gods all bless and keep you, Kel. I'm glad we're still friends."

"The best of friends, Merric. Gods all bless and keep you, too."

Merric walked to the doorway and saluted Kel. She returned the salute and sat down at the desk again. There were many reports to review before noon. Merric looked back at her one more time, smiled, and walked out the door.

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A/N: I had always wondered if Merric really wanted to kiss Kel way back when they were squires. Well, that's two seasons down and two to go - then I'll get back to Joren. Please R&R. Thank you!


	12. Four Seasons: Summer

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS. Anything you recognize is hers, anything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: This is the third chapter about what Kel was doing all this time. I hope you like it! **

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"Enjoy your holiday, Lady Kel," Irnai called as they rode down the inclined road that served the village. "There will be work for the Protector of the Small soon enough."

_-- Tamora Pierce, Lady Knight_

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_**Four Seasons: Summer, 464 H.E.**

**Fief Mindelan, Northeastern Tortall**

Kel was enjoying a well-deserved vacation at Mindelan, wearing the new dresses Lalasa had made for her, and playing with all her nieces and nephews. It felt so nice to be outside in the sunshine. She had finally found the time to read the various reports and surveys about Fort Stonebridge and the silver mines it protected. The nearly ancient fort was located between two massive mountains which were connected by a natural stone bridge, thus the name. There was a local legend that claimed the bridge was formed when Mithros pulled apart the two mountains to make way for the shallow river that still flowed beneath the bridge. Kel's younger brother Avinar, who was currently attending university in Carthak, told her it was more likely that the natural bridge was formed by the river water eroding the stone between the mountains over many thousands of years. Kel smiled at the thought of her brother, the perpetual university student, pouring over old maps and scrolls to find that information. Avinar _still_ didn't know what he wanted to do after he graduated - whenever that might be.

Kel had been very surprised and honored when General Vanget assigned her to command one of the oldest forts in the realm. Fort Stonebridge was not as strategically important as Fort Steadfast or Northwatch Fortress, but it played a different and very important role in the kingdom. The fort had been built near a portion of the mountain range that produced much of the kingdom's supplies of silver, as well as some iron. It had been almost two years since the official end of the war with Scanra, but there were still problems with periodic Scanran raiding parties that crept through their side of the mountain range along the border. Tortall's precious metal mines had always been plum targets, even though they were so heavily guarded that raiders rarely made it past the river.

Kel was beginning to understand from what she had been reading that her days as a commander would be filled with inspections of her soldiers and their barracks and equipment, training to keep her fighting skills sharp, surveying the surrounding area, and occasional visits to the mines and local villages. Fort Stonebridge provided protection not only for the royal mines, but also for the two small villages that supported the mines - Silver Stream and Ironblade. Most of the miners, as well as a small number of craftsmen and their families, lived in these villages. Kel would also have to give her report to the General every quarter and occasionally go with the soldiers escorting the silver and iron shipments to the guild masters in Corus.

While in Corus, Kel could look forward to visiting with friends in town, like Lalasa, and at the palace, especially Neal and Yuki and Tobe. Neal had grumbled at being 'chained to the palace' once again, but it was a good assignment for him because it allowed him to be with Yuki and their infant daughter. There was still a great need for knights who were also healers to be assigned to the various forts along Tortall's borders, and Neal's fresh experiences from the Scanran war made him an ideal trainer of pages and squires who were Gifted in that way. Tobe was serving as an apprentice to Stefan Groomsman in the royal stables. Kel missed all her friends very much, but knew that she would see them soon enough. For now, she had several more reports to study.

Kel's sisters-in-law settled themselves in the sewing room, and began to embroider collars for their daughters' dresses. The day was warm and sunny, a welcome change from the chilly spring. All the window shutters and curtains were open to allow the light breeze to air out the manor. The children had been sent to their rooms for an afternoon rest, so the ladies did not feel the need to whisper their gossip.

"... I can hardly believe it myself."

"Does Anders know when this happened? What did the Baron's letter say?"

"I only saw a _part_ of the letter while Anders was out of the room. He came back before I could read all the details. It's one of the longest letters I've ever seen!"

"Well, tell me what you _did_ see."

"Apparently, Sergeant Domitan is a member of the official military escort for Crown Prince Roald and his bride. You know they went on their state visit to the Yamani Islands this spring. Anyway, the man met with our father-in-law in private and they worked out the details then. Can you imagine - a _guard_ asking for a private meeting with the ambassador?"

"So? He _is_ the second son of Masbolle. His family puts out some of the best wines in the realm. Kel could do worse. What does _she_ know about this?"

"_Nothing_ - that's the best part! The man is a hopeless romantic and plans to ask Kel on Midwinter's Eve, after the royal party returns. Until then, it's supposed to be a total secret. The only reason the Baron informed Anders is that he and Lady Ilane won't be in Tortall for the betrothal announcement. They'll be staying in the Yamani Islands until next summer, so Anders needs to act on his father's behalf."

"Do you think she'll accept his proposal?"

"I don't see that she has much of a choice. It's not like there is a queue of men asking for her hand in marriage. Thank the gods she's not the 'cow' she used to be - all chunky and awkward. Do you remember?

"Hush! I remember getting in trouble for calling her that name. My hands still ache when I think of all the linens we had to mend as punishment."

"Well, I suppose Kel _does_ look a better now that her hair is a bit longer - you can actually see those 'dreamer's hazel eyes' our husbands have talked about all these years. And the gowns she wears these days suit her very nicely, but I still think she's too tall and muscular. I guess there's no accounting for taste among _second_ sons. Oops, no offense to your husband, of course."

"Of course."

"Do you suppose she'll finally give up all that 'lady knight' business once she's married and starts having babies?"

"I should hope so! But you never know with Kel - she's so unconventional."

"Ugh, I just remembered that her heroine, Alanna the Lioness, has three grown children and she's _still_ the King's Champion."

"Yes, but Lady Alanna is god-touched _and_ Gifted. Our Kel has none of those advantages. And if she's anything like Lady Ilane or our husbands' sisters, Kel will be having babies every year or so. Can't you just imagine it? I wonder where they will live. There's certainly not much space here at Mindelan."

"Oh! I forgot to tell you that part - apparently his mother inherited a modest property in Corus' Palace District, and she's given it to him as a gift. That way, he can leave the King's Own and accept a position as an assistant training master at the palace. Did you hear that the number of pages in training has nearly doubled since Kel was knighted? Some families are now sending both sons _and_ _daughters_ to the palace. I'm so glad Lachran is a squire now."

"Don't remind me. Kel's been showing the children that ancient drawing of a lady knight, and then telling them all kinds of bedtime tales of lady knights. I told Inness that I do _not_ want our daughters to become knights, no matter how famous their aunt is. Our girls are much too delicate. It's perfectly fine for them to learn to be proper ladies - just like we did."

"I agree with you. Before you know it, there will be whole groups of lady knights running around the kingdom. I wonder how they'll all handle marriage."

"Lucky Kel - being married _and_ getting to live in Corus. Maybe she'll invite us down to visit."

"I certainly hope so! We're her family."

"In that case, we'd better start being nicer to her right away."

A child's piercing squeals from somewhere in the manor, followed by other children yelling at one another, interrupted the two ladies' laughter. There was no telling what had happened. Their chairs scraped loudly on the floor as the women left the sewing room to sort out their children's latest squabble.

A lace curtain panel fluttered out of the open window and tickled the top of Kel's head.

Kel was dumbfounded; she had heard the entire conversation between her gossiping sisters-in-law. They had no idea she was out there, because the bench on which Kel was sitting was situated well below the level of the window to the sewing room. Kel felt so bewildered that she knew she had to get away and think. She needed to find a place where the children, fresh from their naps and ready to play, wouldn't find her. So she gathered her papers and scrolls and went down by the River Domin to ponder what she had just overheard.

It was amazing to her - Dom had asked Kel's father for her hand in marriage and her father had agreed to a betrothal! She wasn't sure how she felt about that. One part of her heart felt giddy and happy, like a starry-eyed maiden whose father had just made her the most perfect match. Another part of her heart knew that, as a lady knight, she could determine her _own_ destiny, love a man of her _own_ choosing and make her _own_ marriage - or not. Kel had even spoken with both her mother and the Lioness about her options and her freedom to choose. And Dom! What was he thinking? Everyone knew that the Baron of Pirate's Swoop had changed his life for the Lioness, but Kel and Dom were very different people. The idea that Dom was making secret plans to resign from the Own _and_ take an assistant training post at the palace _and_ live in Corus was overwhelming. And it was all for her - all without having asked her first. Kel's heart beat so fast she had to lay down.

Tears of confusion welled up in her eyes. She knew Dom truly loved her; he had confessed his love for her many times and he had done so many special things for her, and now he was willing to change his career to be with her. But what was _she_ willing to change for Dom? Kel quickly sat up as she realized she had never thought about it that way before. Her mind was reeling - and not just from her sitting up too fast. Deep down in her heart, Kel wanted marriage and children, but she still didn't think she was quite ready to give up her life as a knight. Kel loved being a knight - it was all she had ever wanted to be since she was a little girl.

Additionally, Kel knew that her sisters-in law were quite right about one thing - every time Lady Ilane and her married daughters removed their pregnancy charms, they were immediately with child. Kel had just celebrated her twenty-second birthday, and Dom was nearly thirty. She wondered how long Dom would be willing to wait for her to be ready. Kel didn't think that marriage and a babe would go very well with her new command. Right now, it was just too much to imagine, so she shook her head to clear away all the whirling thoughts. For now, she would just enjoy the fresh air and sunshine. For now, she would just look forward to her upcoming adventures at Fort Stonebridge. For now, she would have to pretend that she knew nothing about her family's secret plans for her future.

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A/N: I always thought Kel's sisters-in-law would be 'gossip girls' at heart. One more season to go! Please R & R. Thanks!


	13. Four Seasons: Autumn

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS. Anything you recognize is hers, anything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: This is the fourth (and last) chapter about what Kel was doing all this time. I hope to update with Joren soon. Thanks for being patient! **

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Four Seasons: Autumn, 464 H.E.

**Fief Cavall, Northern Tortall**

The dream began the same as always, ever since Kel had taken command of Fort Stonebridge:

_She was standing on a grassy hilltop which overlooked a rocky valley. Her hair was long and loose and the wind was whipping it around her face and neck and shoulders. She was wearing a winter dress and the wind made her dark skirt billow out behind her. The sun was setting beyond the western mountain peaks and the sky was turning the deep blue of early twilight. She could hear his footsteps as he walked up behind her. Her pulse quickened as his strong hands gently rubbed out the tension in her tight shoulder muscles. As she began to relax, her back still toward him, he lifted her hair off of her shoulder and nuzzled the side of her neck. Kel was pleased, but puzzled. Dom had never done this before. He whispered softly, seductively, "Please come back inside now. The wind gets even worse after the sun goes down. I promise ... I won't harm you." Kel turned around slowly, and stared into Joren's perfect face and screamed._

Kel woke up gasping for air, not knowing if she had screamed out loud, hoping no one heard her if she had. The dream felt so real that she could still feel the kisses on her neck and she scratched at her skin to make the feeling go away. It was at times like this that Kel really missed having the boy Tobe around. His presence had always been able to reassure her, back when her bad dreams were of Blayce and his evil killing machines. Now, Kel would just have to calm herself and try to get a bit more sleep before the day's festivities. Today was supposed to be a day of celebration. Today was the day her good friend Sir Owen of Jesslaw would be marrying Margarry of Cavall, the youngest of Lord Wyldon's four daughters.

Earlier that week, Kel had traveled to Northwatch to deliver her first command report to General Vanget. All was well at Stonebridge and she was happy to be able to give a good report. Then the general and Kel, as well as several officers and knights who also had been invited to the wedding, traveled together to Fief Cavall. Kel was confident that her second-in-command, Sir Aron of Aili, was capable of taking care of the fort while she was away. Aron, the nephew of Master Harailt, the dean of the royal university and leader of the mages council, was very much like Neal in his training. He seemed a little 'bookish' and was always studying this or that scroll, but he was a very capable knight/healer/mage and he seemed not to mind working for 'the Girl'. Still, he wasn't Neal - and certainly not Merric. However, since his home fief of Aili was not far from Stonebridge, Aron was very familiar with the terrain, and with the ways of the miners. Kel knew she was thrice-blessed and thanked the gods every day for her good fortune.

The wedding ceremony was beautiful and the feast afterward was magnificent. Lord Cavall and his wife Lady Vivienne were very gracious hosts. The decorations of fruits and nuts and dried leaves of autumn colors complemented the rich tapestries which hung all around the great hall of the Cavall's castle. Everyone ate and drank to the health and prosperity of the young newlyweds. Kel couldn't help but wonder what sort of wedding she and Dom might have someday.

After the tables were cleared away, the musicians started playing livelier tunes and the dancing began. Kel danced with several of her friends, including the groom, who gushed about his 'jolly' new bride and told Kel of his 'jolly' plans for a new stable and kennels at Jesslaw to accommodate the 'jolly' horses and dogs that Lord Wyldon had given as part of his daughter's 'jolly' dowry. Kel just chuckled and wished Owen and Margarry well in their new life together. Neal spoke of Yuki's recent head cold and how she stubbornly refused to drink his special healing teas. Kel sided with her Yamani friend - Neal's teas tasted nasty. Kel made Merric blush when she playfully chided him for getting over her so quickly. It was obvious to all of their friends that Merric was rather smitten with Owen's younger sister, Merry, and the lady seemed equally interested in him. Kel had just taken a sip of her cider, when someone touched her lightly on her shoulder. She flinched a little but recovered quickly.

"Lady Keladry, may I have this dance?" a man's deep voice asked Kel from behind her.

Kel spun around and smiled. She clasped the upper arms of her would-be dance partner, examined his face with her eyes and exclaimed, "Faleron! Is it really you? Owen told me you were planning to be here."

The tall, dark and handsome knight nodded slowly and repeated his question, "May I have the next dance, Kel?"

"Of course you may!" Kel laughed, set down her drink and let Faleron lead her out onto the dance floor as the musicians started a mellow tune. "It's so good to see you. How have you been?"

"It's good to see you, too, Kel. I've been well. I got to see a lot of action along the coast - fighting off the Scanran raiding ships that tried to land and fighting off the raiders that did make it ashore. Mithros! I'm glad to finally be away from all the sand - it was ten times worse cleaning my armor of all the grit and salt. I heard about your exploits, too, 'Protector of the Small' - I even heard a ballad about you in a tavern."

"Oh no!" groaned Kel. "My brother Conal will have learned every tavern tune he can just so that he'll be able to tease me the next time we're together."

"And now you're commanding at Stonebridge. We all knew you'd do great things, Kel." Faleron beamed down at her.

Kel enjoyed dancing with the taller knight. Faleron was a very good dancer and he chatted easily about a variety of topics. When the music segued into a livelier dance, Kel graciously agreed to continue as his partner. Faleron started a new conversation after they had been dancing a while.

"Gods, Kel, you're looking lovelier than ever. No wonder my cousin was lovesick for you all these years."

"What!?" Kel exclaimed, her face turning quite red.

"It's alright, Kel. Merric told me everything when I stayed at Hollyrose after my great-uncle's funeral." Faleron explained. "It was very difficult for him, but he's doing much better now - as you can see." And they both looked over to where Merric was sitting next to Merry, their heads close together in private conversation.

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate you letting Merric down easy," continued Faleron. "I watched one of my close friends self-destruct on the battlefield because the lady he loved spurned him for another man - in a very public, very cruel way. It was horrible. I love my cousin, and we'll always hold you in high regard. You are a true noble woman. Thank you, Kel."

"Well, I care about Merric, too. So, I guess it's just as well that he told you. I know other cousins who care deeply about each other's welfare." Her mind drifted to thoughts of the ways Neal and Dom played pranks on each other, but were usually quick to forgive, and she blushed again.

"Seriously, Kel, if I wasn't already betrothed to the fair lady Elsa of Seabeth and Seajen, I might be besotted with you myself."

"Did you just say you're betrothed to Elsa of Seabeth and Seajen?" asked Kel, ignoring his compliment. "She's my distant cousin on my mother's side of the family! Congratulations then, almost-cousin! When did this happen?"

"Thank you. We met during the King's Progress, and again after the war ended. I was one of the fair maiden's protectors on the coast," Faleron said with exaggerated drama. "I suppose you could call it a combination of hero-worship and love at _second_ sight. We will announce at Midwinter."

"That's wonderful, Faleron. I'm happy for you both," Kel laughed; she hadn't known that he was such a player. "I haven't seen my cousin in ages. I'm sure we wouldn't even recognize each other anymore."

"Well, the ballads say you're ten feet tall and you slay monsters with one hand tied behind your back, so no, I don't think Elsa would pick you out of a crowd. And certainly _not_ tonight. Your _gown_ - it must be one of the newest designs by Lalasa Isran. And that Tyran twist in your hair is very stylish, too. I've never seen your hair so long - I remember your page days." And he shuddered dramatically.

Kel looked at her dress. The smooth green velvet matched her dreamy hazel eyes perfectly. Lalasa had trimmed the cuffs and the bodice with a soft brown lace. A curl from the simple, but elaborate-_looking _hairstyle fell lightly down to her shoulder. "Wait a moment," she looked at Faleron suspiciously. "How do _you_ know so much about ladies' fashion?"

"I have seven sisters and one brother," he replied with an air of comic melodrama. "He and I were forever being _tormented_ with constant chatter about this cloth and those styles, hair up or hair down, ear-bobs or not, and shoes of a thousand colors. I've picked up _more_ than my fair share of understanding current fashion, I assure you."

Kel laughed again and curtsied to Faleron as their dance came to an end. She was about to have another goblet of cider when Lord Wyldon asked her to join him and some others for a meeting in his private library. Kel was perplexed, but she brought her goblet with her and followed her former training master into the surprisingly large wood-paneled room. There were three other men already standing around a beautiful black marble-topped table in the library: General Vanget, Baron Myles of Olau, and to her surprise, Master Numair Salmalin. There were maps and scrolls laid out on the table, and it was obvious to Kel that there had been some sort of planning meeting going on before she joined them. Kel began to feel a little uneasy.

"Thank you for joining us, Lady Keladry," Lord Wyldon began. "We apologize for the timing of this meeting, especially since you appeared to be having such a wonderful time. We will, however, try to keep this as brief as possible - I am certain my wife will look for me to be out there with our guests soon enough."

"Yes sir," replied Kel, "This looks serious, sir. Has something happened?"

"Not quite," Wyldon replied. "Master Numair, are you ready?"

The powerful mage nodded and spelled the room against any eavesdropping.

"What you are about to learn, Lady Knight, has been a well-kept secret for several years," Sir Myles began. "No one worried about it much during the war; it had no bearing on anything that was going on at that time. Very few people outside this room know anything about it. Only the King, Duke Baird, and Master Harailt of Aili know of this. You are not to speak about this matter with anyone other than the people you see in this room now and those that I just mentioned, with one exception. Master Harailt will have informed his nephew, your second-in-command, Sir Aron by the time you return to Stonebridge. Even then, you must only speak of it in secret. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir, I understand and I will comply," Kel replied in a serious tone.

"Lady Knight," said General Vanget, "I have informed Lord Wyldon that I am very pleased with your command of Stonebridge so far. He told me you were the right person for the job when he first recommended your name to me. He also told me that your unique experiences with civilians had well-equipped you to be able to care for the miners and the villagers, as well as the soldiers under command. Now that you have settled in, have you noticed anything peculiar about the people of Stonebridge?"

Now Kel was confused. She thought the people were very hard-working, very proud people. Generation after generation had dug and scraped and picked out the precious metals which eventually became the currency and the weaponry of the realm. They did not care if a person was male or female, as long as that person pulled their fair share of the workload. Kel thought they might even like her in their own gruff way. The miners _were_ a bit superstitious, but surely there were no laws against believing in bedtime tales and legends.

"They tell a lot of stories, sir," replied Kel, thinking then that her answer sounded silly. "I mean, sir, they have a story for everything that happens in or around the mountains - like the one about Mithros moving the mountains apart and forming the bridge. All their work songs seem to be about odd legends and such, too. Sir Aron tells me that the workers of Aili and other mining communities sing the same kinds of songs to keep themselves in a steady rhythm for the picking and shoveling."

"Have you heard the song of the 'Lazy Lord' recently?" asked the general, almost too casually.

Kel was more puzzled by this question, but she answered it as best she could. "Yes sir, they seem to sing it every day. That one seems to be quite popular with the miners as they dig." Now she was hearing the memory of the tune and its words in her head.

_Greenish-brown with blue;_

_Dear Lady, please be true._

_The Lazy Lord shall come awake._

_The hills below will shiver and shake._

_Stone and silver, silver and stone._

_Mend the Mountain;_

_Make it your own. _

"That song is based on a very old legend," said Sir Myles. "Most of the mountain people believe that when the 'lazy lord' wakes up, there will be an earthquake. They also believe that major veins of silver ore and fine stone will be uncovered as a result of such an earthquake. Recently, the mountains _have _shown signs of instability. Normal people, like you and me cannot feel the trembles, but the miners and the mages can. The King, of course, has felt them, as have Master Numair and other powerful mages. The miners believe that they are about to experience great fortune; never minding that they'll have to survive a potentially great calamity first. Even _if_ no one is injured, the clean-up after an earthquake can take a long time, and securing the mines against bandits will become more difficult."

Kel nodded as she remembered the hard work she did when she was Lord Raoul's squire and they traveled with the King's Own to assist a town that almost slid into the sea after an earthquake. She could not imagine people actually looking forward to such a thing. She shuddered as the general spoke up again.

"I am prepared to send you reinforcements when needed," added General Vanget. "But the largest available group of soldiers will have to come first from the fief to your south - Stone Mountain."

Kel nodded again. She already knew that additional soldiers and supplies could get to Stonebridge fairly easily from Stone Mountain. When she was a third-year page, Lord Wyldon made sure she and her year mates surveyed different routes through the mountain passes during the pages' summer camp trip to the fiefs in that area of Tortall. Stone Mountain. Kel still felt uneasy whenever she thought of Joren. Her recent nightmares made the mention of Stone Mountain all the more disturbing.

"Now Kel, we know that you had a traumatic experience when Joren of Stone Mountain failed his Ordeal" said Wyldon. "No one bears you any ill will at his home fief. They know that you are now in command at Stonebridge and they will not refuse aid when you need it."

"Ill will, sir?" Kel exclaimed, angered by the mention of that terrible event from her past. "Joren's father attacked _me_ and blamed _me_ for his son's death! It is _I_ who should bear them no ill will!"

"Be that as it may, Keladry," continued Wyldon, speaking as he might to a young child while Kel fumed. "You must try to understand what has happened in the past so that you might understand what is happening now."

Numair cleared his throat and began to speak. "Lady Kel, have you ever heard of the Deep Sleep? Sometimes warriors who have received head injuries can fall into one of these."

"Yes, Duke Baird told us of a man whose horse had kicked him in his head," Kel shook her head in sympathy as she spoke. "That man slept the Deep Sleep for over six months, and then one day he woke up and asked for some custard." Kel laughed at the memory, but stopped when she realized that none of the men were laughing with her. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled.

"There is a man who has been in the Deep Sleep for over six _years_," continued Numair. "Everyone thought he was dead. His family had even prepared his body for burial, but a slight earthquake back then prevented them from completing the sad task right away. The family's personal healer noticed the body still had color to it long after it should have turned blue or black with death. The healer asked for higher assistance, so Duke Baird and Master Harailt and I studied everything we could about Deep Sleeps. There is no cure or spell that can wake a person from such a condition. Some people never wake up - unfortunately, most of these patients eventually die. We told the family that the man might not ever recover, but then again we truly don't know what could happen. The family decided to keep the man at their home and wait to see if he will ever wake up. The rest of us had a war to fight."

"Take a good look at my table, Keladry" Wyldon ordered. Kel looked down at the smooth marble. "This is a piece of the finest marble our realm produces. Do you remember where most of Tortall's best marble and building stones come from?"

"Stone Mountain, sir," Kel replied, not looking up.

"The workers in the quarries there sing the same songs as the miners on your side of the mountain range," stated Sir Myles. "Lately, they are more excited than ever about a potential earthquake and the chance to quarry another source of high quality stone. They are waiting more anxiously than a child waits for Midwinter's Eve gifts."

Kel's voice sounded strained to her ears as she asked, "Why do you suppose they are so excited, sir?"

Numair answered softly. "Sometimes, 'lazy' is used as a term for someone who sleeps too much. The people of Stone Mountain have had their own 'lazy lord' for almost seven years. " Kel raised her head and met Numair's gaze.

"Lord Burchard died three days past." Wyldon said abruptly. "His brother went to the Peaceful Realms two years ago. There are no other legal heirs; the King ordered a search, but it seems the rumors about the family being inbred and barren were quite true. Lord Burchard's widow has refused to inherit Stone Mountain because she claims its new lord is 'only sleeping' for a while."

Kel stood very still, willing herself to breathe normally.

"Keladry, what we all are saying is ..." Wyldon spoke carefully, "Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain is not dead."

Kel neither felt nor heard the goblet slip from between her fingers and crash to the floor.

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A/N: Okay, so that's what's going on with Kel. Tell me what you think. Thanks!


	14. Clipping Day

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS. Anything you recognize is hers, anything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers. I appreciate constructive criticism, even if it sometimes comes across as harsh. I am trying to be a better writer, so thanks for being patient with me!**

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_"You should be grateful that the gods have decided to allow you to make another choice. This is beyond rare." declared the Chamber/Joren, his voice chilly with the disdain that Joren so despised, even though it was his own voice. "Now that you have seen and admitted to the errors of your ways, the Dark God is willing to usher you into the Peaceful Realms. You may choose to go with him and be done with me. The Great Mother Goddess, however, has seen in you the possibility of redemption. Therefore, you may choose to return to the Mortal Realm and live out the remainder of your life, however long that may be. Mithros has agreed to require you to meet the Goddess' conditions: make true amends for your misdeeds, live faithfully by your realm's Code of Chivalry and find love with your enemy, Keladry of Mindelan. If you fail to meet any of these conditions within one year's time, you will return to me and relive the worst moments of your life over and over again. After that, Mithros himself will send you to the blackest pit of the Dark God's realm - and I will not pity you."_

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Clipping Day

"Fire!" Joren thought. "I'm on fire! Please ... somebody ... _anybody_ ... help me!"

Joren drifted back, deeper into his Deep Sleep. The continuous pain he felt was excruciating. It was a combination of a burning sensation over every inch of his skin - especially his head and face - and the feeling that someone was driving pins and needles into the bare flesh of his hands and feet. He didn't think that he could bear the agony much longer; in fact, he was ready to call upon the Dark God to relieve his pain permanently.

"_No, you won't get off that easy_," said the voice in his head. "_You made your choice - now you have to _live_ with it._"

* * *

Lady Virryn of Stone Mountain sat next to her sleeping son, brushing his long blonde hair. She had marveled at the way it grew, even while Joren's body lay there, motionless in the Deep Sleep for the past six years. She had never heard of the Deep Sleep before her son was taken from the Chamber of the Ordeal, appearing to be dead. At first, her husband had accused her of insanity when she insisted that their nearly dead son's hair and nails were growing. It soon became obvious to everyone who examined Joren that the young man's normal functions continued just as they would have if he had been awake. Lady Virryn had made it her habit to trim her son's fingernails and toenails every month. She also cut his hair and trimmed his beard every three months. Today, the first day of the New Year, was clipping day.

Over the years, Lady Virryn let the servants wash and tend to Joren's body, but she had stubbornly defied her husband's wishes and did all of the clipping of her son's hair and nails by herself. She always dismissed the servants so that she could be alone with Joren, speaking to him and singing to him just as she had when he was a very young child - before Burchard had taken him away into the world of men and their manly pursuits. It felt so good to touch her son's face and smooth his hair. When Lord Burchard was alive, he insisted that Virryn limit her visits with Joren and leave him to the care of the healers. Now she did as she pleased. She knew she was not long for this world. All these years of watching and waiting were coming to a close - she felt it in her aching bones. She had prayed to the Great Mother Goddess to spare her only living child from death. Then she had prayed to live long enough to see her son fully awake and speak with him again before she went to the Peaceful Realms. The Goddess was keeping her end of the bargain. Lady Virryn would not grovel and petition for more time.

Joren's mother had discovered that his cut hair fetched a very good price with the wigmakers in Corus. She never told her husband that she sold the hair, primarily because she knew he would be furious, but also because she enjoyed being able to give money secretly to the temple of the Goddess. Lord Burchard only allowed the worship of Mithros in his household, declaring that the other gods and goddesses were fine for the lower-born. Lady Virryn knew that it was the Goddess who saved her son, and wanted to show her appreciation and loyalty. As soon as she had entered into her official period of mourning the death of her husband, Virryn had installed a shrine to the Goddess in her private rooms where she worshiped as she pleased.

This time, when Lady Virryn started to trim Joren's nails, she thought she felt warmth that had not been in his fingertips before. At one point she thought she felt a twitch in his foot as she struggled to cut through the thick toenails. She shook her head in wonder at her foolishness - surely these feelings were all just wishful thinking, because Joren was entering his seventh year of the Deep Sleep. A sudden brightness filled the room, and Virryn had to shield her eyes from the glare.

"Hello my daughter," greeted a horrible-sounding voice, like the baying of a hundred hounds.

"My Lady!" Lady Virryn gasped, and then she dropped her scissors and fell to her knees.

"Do not fret, dear one. Your waiting is nearly over." The Great Mother Goddess told her supplicant. "You will need to help your son for just a short time while he adjusts to this realm again. Tell him the truth and do not soften it for him. He has been given his own tasks and conditions for staying alive and well. You must do everything in your power to help him find a healthy love, because he can only retain these lands in your family if he is united with someone who is far removed from your thin bloodlines. Help him to be a good man. Then you can enjoy a well-earned rest."

"Thank you, Great Mother," whispered Virryn, barely daring to breathe.

When she looked up, the Goddess had vanished. Virryn was shaking so much that she was able to stand up only by leaning heavily on the end of Joren's bedpost. She was finished with all the clipping, but she still wanted to tidy the area around Joren's pillow. The scissors fell from her hands as she looked at her son's face.

Her Joren's beautiful blue eyes were finally open.

* * *

Kel looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her hazel eyes looked haunted - because they were. The dark circles under her eyes and the pinched look to her face resulted from her lack of restful sleep. She was still having the 'Joren' nightmare a few times each week. Sir Aron had offered her a special tea to help her sleep better, but it didn't stop the dreams. Kel didn't think the Chamber of the Ordeal had sent her these dreams, because unlike the mission to stop Blayce and his killing machines, there _was_ no point to the Joren dreams. No, she didn't understand why this was happening to her, and she just didn't need this - not now.

Kel sighed and took a yellowing letter from the carved wooden box beneath her bed. She had read the letter so many times that she knew each word by heart.

_Dear Kel,_

_There is terrible news from the Yamani Islands. There was an earthquake on one of the outlying islands. Apparently this caused a huge wall of water to flood the harbor of the capital city. Much of the harbor was destroyed immediately and many people were swept out to sea. Our parents are fine - they were hosting the farewell breakfast for the Crown Prince and Princess at the time of the calamity. Unfortunately, many of the soldiers of the military escort were loading and preparing the ship for departure. They and their ship are feared lost. I know you made several friends among the King's Own when you were Lord Raoul's squire. I thought you would want to know, so that you could offer your prayers to the Dark God to lead those men safely to the Peaceful Realms. Please be careful yourself - we have heard that there have been minor earthquakes in your area, too. Gods all bless and keep you safe until we see you again._

_Your loving brother,_

_Anders _

Kel willed the tears in her eyes not to fall. She held her face in a perfectly blank mask and told herself, as she had for the past two months, to 'be a still pond,' and to be glad for what good news there was. Her parents and the Tortallan heirs were safe. King Jonathan and Queen Thayet had sent a ship full of relief supplies to the Yamani Islands as a show of support for their allies. That ship had recently returned with Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami, as well as all the survivors of the killer high tide the Yamani people called a 'tsunami' or harbor wave. Domitan of Masbolle was not among them. There had been many searches of the surrounding waters and nearby island shores, but no others were found alive. Lord Raoul had held a memorial service for his lost men, but Kel was unable to attend it due to preparing the last shipment of silver ore to go to Corus before the winter snows closed the mountain passes.

Also, Kel decided not to attend the Midwinter's festivities at the palace this year, nor had she gone to Mindelan to be with her family. She did not think she could bear it. Instead, she encouraged Aron to go home to Aili, which was less than a day's ride away. And she granted a short leave of absence to a few of the more senior officers to go to Corus and enjoy themselves, too. The men were shocked and pleased - commanders rarely offered to stay behind during the holidays. Kel didn't think that anyone in her family - or any of her closest friends - knew that _she_ knew about Dom's midwinter betrothal plans, but she did know she couldn't endure any looks of pity or concern.

Kel told herself repeatedly that she couldn't have lost something she never really had in the first place. After messages from Lord Raoul and Neal confirmed the bad news of Dom and the others' disappearance and presumed death, Kel sent letters of condolence to Dom's mother, as well as to Neal and his family. She knew that Neal was devastated by the loss of his constantly cheerful cousin, but he had Yuki to help him get through his grief. Raoul had Buri as well, and the men of the Own could console each other. Kel would have to be content to mourn Dom privately, as a dear friend, because so few people knew how close they actually had been to becoming more than that. Her faithful dog, Jump, lay across Kel's feet in his own gesture of consolation.

Now, on this first day of the New Year, Kel finished reading the painful letter one last time, and then she held it to the candle's flame and watched it burn.

"_I am a calm pool_," she told herself, as she reached into her box again and pulled out the specially-made spiked leather hair fastener that Dom had given her. She placed it gently on the desk, next to her Raven Armory blade.

"_I am a gentle breeze._" Slowly, she brushed her hair into a ponytail and carefully wrapped the fastener around the lower half of its length.

"_I am a quiet flame._" She held her hair in one hand and - with one swift motion of her freshly sharpened knife - she completely sliced off the ponytail. She then wrapped the hair and fastener in a piece of white cloth and placed them in the bottom of the wooden box.

"_I am stone_." Kel used her scissors to clip a fringe of hair across her forehead, and then she trimmed the ends of her hair until it was all cut even with her jaw line.

"Now_, maybe the dreams will stop, too,_" Kel thought. "_After all,_ _I am no longer that version of myself. _This_ is much better._"

Suddenly, the ground beneath her feet began to shake.

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A/N: Sorry about Dom, but I hope you noticed a glaring plot point. Again, this can't be a full-blown K/D, because it's supposed to be K/J. I hope you'll like it anyway. Next time, I promise there will be way more dialogue. Please keep reading and reviewing. Thanks!


	15. Shiver and Shake

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS. Anything you recognize is hers, anything you don't recognize is mine.**

**Shiver and Shake**

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Greenish-brown with blue;

_Dear Lady, please be true._

_The Lazy Lord shall come awake._

_The hills below will shiver and shake._

_Stone and silver, silver and stone._

_Mend the Mountain;_

_Make it your own._

* * *

"_Are you going to lie there all day? Why don't you _say_ something? This is what you decided to do - now get to it!_"

Joren knew the voice no longer came from the Chamber of the Ordeal. Gods willing, he would not have to encounter the Chamber any more. The Chamber had finally released him. Unfortunately, the main after-effect of his Ordeal was that Joren continued to have a running dialogue with himself inside his head. It was more than just talking to himself; it was as though his Ordeal had created in him a conscience that debated with him all the time now. Joren had desperately wanted his body to wake up so that he could talk to someone, anyone else for a change. Slowly, he opened his eyes, and then closed them again as the world began to shake.

Hours later, Joren stirred as he felt a cool damp cloth pressed to his forehead. Silently, he searched throughout the body he was in and, to his great relief, he discovered that it was his own body. Merciful Mithros! The gods had sent him back after all. He opened his eyes slowly and the light from the windows made him wince. This time the world stayed still and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Close those curtains!" commanded a woman's voice. "The light is too much for him."

Joren tried to turn his head toward the voice, but he couldn't make any part of his body move. He heard the rustle of fabric and felt a gentle pressure on the bed beside him. The face that hovered over him was of someone he had only seen recently in his dreams. "Mother," croaked Joren, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Thanks be to the gods! You're awake!" exclaimed Lady Virryn of Stone Mountain. "We've been waiting for so long and now you're finally awake!" And she hugged her son tightly to her bosom. Joren could feel his mother's warmth, but he could not make his arms move to return her embrace.

"Where ...?" Joren croaked again, but his mother interrupted him.

"You're at home, in your own room. Hush, now, my son," replied Lady Virryn, as her voice caught in her throat. She released her hug and settled Joren back on his pillows. "You've been asleep for a very, very long time, and we've just had another one of those awful earthquakes. If you can stay awake, you will need to regain your strength before you can speak and move about. Our healer, Sir Alwin, wants to examine you now. Don't be afraid."

It was as if her last remark was more for herself than for Joren. Lady Virryn's face displayed worry and concern for her son and her eyes shined brightly with unshed tears. She watched silently as the family's private healer, Sir Alwin of Jennsmont, examined Joren from head to toe.

"Are you in any pain, my lord?" asked Sir Alwin. "Don't try to speak - just blink once for yes and twice for no."

Joren blinked twice. He was not in any real pain, but his whole body felt numb and tingly, the way a foot felt after a person sat cross-legged too long. The Chamber had warned Joren that there would be unknown consequences of his spirit being away from his body for such a long time. Joren had not known what to expect, but he was not too surprised to find that his body was numb after so long a time of 'sleep'. He was happy just to be fully alive again, especially considering the alternatives.

"Can you feel this?" the healer asked as he tapped on Joren's foot.

Joren blinked once. Then the healer poked and prodded Joren and moved him this way and that, because Joren could not move his body or his limbs on his own. Joren continued to blink and let Sir Alwin know that he had feeling, if not control, over his entire body.

"My lady, this is better than we _ever_ could have hoped for!" exclaimed the healer, and he continued to speak very fast. "I feared there may have been some damage from the earthquake, but he appears to be alright. It's too soon to tell if he'll make a full recovery, but it seems that the mages were correct - your son truly was just in the Deep Sleep. The Chamber didn't _kill_ him; it just took a very long time to _release_ him."

Lady Virryn gave Sir Alwin a warning glance and the healer changed the topic.

"Do you think you can drink some water now?" he asked Joren.

Joren blinked once. He was very thirsty. Sir Alwin nodded to Lady Virryn, and the two of them lifted his torso to place more pillows behind him. When Joren was sitting upright, his mother came forward with a small cup. She spooned water into his mouth, and most of it went down his parched throat, even though a little bit dribbled down his chin. He was able to open his mouth for more. After she had given him the contents of the cup, one spoonful at a time, Joren closed his lips and smiled. _Now_ his mother had tears streaming down her face.

Joren knew he had to meet certain conditions to keep his life, but for now, he would just work on reclaiming control of his own body.

* * *

Thunder boomed and lightning flashed across the earthquake-damaged mountains. No one wanted to be out in a storm on that terrible day, but Kel and her soldiers rode to the stricken villages quickly to assess the full extent of the damage and to offer assistance. Thankfully, since it was the first day of the New Year, no one had been working in the mines. Almost everyone was at home, enjoying a day off with family and friends. Only a handful of guards had been at their posts outside of the entrances to the mines.

Long ago, mages had placed spells on the fort and on the villagers' stone huts to withstand the kind of temblors which were so common in this part of the mountain range. Most of the damage came from large boulders and rocks that rolled down from the mountaintops and smashed buildings, carts and other equipment. There was one report of some missing sheep, but Kel thought the poor beasts probably ran away in a panic. All in all, Kel discovered that they had been very, very lucky and she sent up prayers to all of the gods, thanking them for their good fortune.

* * *

"Have you lost your mind?" ranted the Great Mother Goddess. "That's the kind of stunt I expect from our trickster brother - not you!"

"What?" Mithros shrugged. "The boy's body has been asleep for seven years. I thought the situation merited a grand entrance."

"That's a bit too much drama," she replied angrily. "If I discover that your little shake-up has ruined any part of my plans, I will hound you the way I hounded Kyprioth when he interfered with Alanna the Lioness. You know I will!"

"Calm down, love," soothed Mithros. "No one died. As a matter of fact, those mortals are going to be very happy - and very busy - with the new sources of wealth my 'shifting of the mountains' has just uncovered. Perhaps they will build you a shiny new temple decorated with fine silverwork and highly polished marble. You'll see - everything will be just fine."

"I'm still mad at you! Look at the mess you made! The avalanches and rockslides have completely cut them off not only from Corus, but from each other as well. Now there's all this extra work - it's distracting! Mortals can concentrate on only one or two things at a time. Mistakes happen when they're overwhelmed."

"Mistakes happen because they're mortal!"

"Listen, I appreciate you agreeing to let me answer the prayers of that poor mother down there. Her love and loyalty to her son are commendable, and she deserves a little happiness before the Dark God comes for her. But this ... this display of your power is completely ridiculous! What if she had had a heart attack and died, hmm? What if a piece of the ceiling had fallen and crushed them both to death?"

"Alright, alright! I'll make sure the passes between the two locations are clear. I'll even blow away the snow. Surely their king will send help soon, so you only have a little time to put your plans in motion, anyway."

"Like I said ... if your actions have messed up my plans ..."

"Oh, stop it! The mother is fine - her son is awake. They're both alive and well, if a bit shaken. I still don't think much of the boy, but maybe his mother's love can help redeem him. As for the girl, good luck with that. I fully expect to see the boy back in the Chamber in a year's time - mother's love or not."

Although there were no more flashes of lightning, and no rain fell from the sky, the thunder continued for the rest of the day.

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A/N: I love constructive criticism. Please R&R. Thanks!


	16. Silver and Stone

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns PotS. Anything you recognize is hers, anything you don't recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you who sign in and review my writing. I appreciate it so much! Just letting you know - this chapter jumps around quite a bit. **

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Silver and Stone

_Stone and silver, silver and stone._

_Mend the Mountain;_

_Make it your own._

* * *

Numair Salmalin ran his fingers through his hair and pondered the massive piles of fallen rock that blocked the main passageways up to Stone Mountain and Fort Stonebridge. General Vanget had sent word that his soldiers could not get through the western passages, either. The two places were still completely isolated. Every time Numair attempted to move the stones with one of his powerful spells, other rocks and boulders rolled down to continue blocking the way. Something definitely was not right. Numair knew instinctively - from his own personal experiences with his in-laws and their meddlesome friends - this whole situation reeked of divine intervention.

* * *

Two days after the earthquake, Kel was able to send reports to General Vanget and to Corus via messenger birds and let everyone know that the damage was manageable. So far, the soldiers and villagers were fine because they had already stocked up enough provisions to last through to spring. They were used to the winter snows making travel quite difficult anyway. The fact that they were now truly cut off from the rest of the realm was not too alarming for the hardy mountain folk. They had plenty of work to keep them busy until the roads were clear again.

Exciting news came from the mines of Stonebridge and the quarries of Stone Mountain. The earthquake had uncovered a rich vein of silver ore, the likes of which no one had ever seen before. The quarry workers predicted that the unusual brownish green and blue colors of the marble stone, which had pushed upward and were now exposed, would be in high demand once people saw it cut and polished. It was as though that old mining song about the 'silver and stone' was a prophecy that came true.

* * *

"_Seven years._" thought Joren. "_I was asleep for seven whole years. My father is gone. My uncle is gone. _**I'm**_ the Lord of Stone Mountain now. How am I supposed to do all the things I must do? This was not what I expected - a year or two, maybe, but not _**seven**_ years! What have I gotten myself into now?_"

Joren leaned backed against the pillows and closed his eyes. His mother had tried her best to fill him in on everything she could think of that had happened since he went into the Chamber of the Ordeal and came out unconscious. She told him about the deaths of his father and his uncle, as well as various other relatives and friends. Joren was sad to hear that two of his favorite horses and his best hunting dog had died, too. He was sorry he had missed the Scanran War and the awful killing machines. One of those evil machines had killed his friend, Ansil of Grotin, who left behind his still-grieving widow, Celeste. It seemed to Joren that every time he asked about someone or had an idea to do something, he discovered more changes, more deaths, and fewer options. He felt robbed and cheated of his life.

"_Oh no you don't_," warned the voice in his head. "_You don't get to feel sorry for yourself at all. The reason you missed so much was that it took you so long to learn your lessons. If you hadn't been so hard-headed, maybe you could have returned earlier_._ You should be glad you're here at all._"

Joren made a rude noise and shook his head. After three days of struggling within himself, he was finally able to move different parts of his body without assistance. After five days, Joren could walk across his room slowly and go to the privy by himself. After seven days, he could walk up and down the long hallway twice before he had to rest. He still felt a bit numb and tired easily, but Sir Alwin was very optimistic given his progress so far. Joren was eager to get out and about - he knew he had a lot of work to do, even if he was stuck at Stone Mountain for the time being. He had never been a patient person, and his body's weaknesses were extremely aggravating to him.

"Lord Joren, we were able to keep your body healthy while you slept, but you will have to work hard to regain your former strength and abilities," explained Sir Alwin. "Perhaps we can find a trainer, or ask one of the soldiers to help get you back into shape. I would help if I could, but my own injuries are the reason I'm a healer today."

Sir Alwin of Jennsmont had been severely injured when he was a knight during the Immortals War. His own latent Gift had kept him alive until he was rescued. When he recovered, he decided to follow in his father's footsteps and become a trained healer. Sir Alwin would always walk with a pronounced limp, but he had a cheerful demeanor and a kind smile, in spite of his constant pain. Now his widowed sister, Lady Celeste of Grotin, had come to visit with him for a while and help him with his patients.

"A trainer, you say?" replied Joren. "What about old Commander Dermid of Marti's Hill, over at Fort Stonebridge? I always liked him - and he never seemed to mind me being underfoot. I remember a time ..." and then his voice trailed off as he noticed the way his mother suddenly looked stricken.

"Joren, dear, seven years is such a long time," began Lady Virryn, gently placing her hand on her son's arm. "Dermid went to the Peaceful Realms shortly before your father did. We've lost so many good men over the years while you were asleep. It's hard to remember them all."

"Alright then, who _is_ the commander over at Stonebridge now?" asked Joren, eager to find out who else might be available to help him get back into shape. "Really, since they're just as stuck as we are, we may as well ride over to their barracks and train with them. There's nothing better to do. It's not like anyone is going to need guards for deliveries to Corus any time soon. I'll just explain my situation to the new commander. He'll probably welcome the distraction."

Lady Virryn and Sir Alwin exchanged glances, which immediately made Joren wonder what was going on at Fort Stonebridge.

"Son," she hesitated and then continued in a rush, "I don't think that going over to Stonebridge would be such a good thing for you right now. Perhaps you should just get used to riding a horse again. You could spar with our _own_ men-at-arms for a while. Our people should see you more now that you're up and about. Maybe you can ... visit ... the fort ... later."

"Yes, I agree with your mother, Lord Joren." said Sir Alwin. "Let's see how you are after a full week of walking around _here_. Perhaps you could ride down and check on the progress in the quarries. Have you seen the new marble the stonecutters are so excited about? It really is remarkable."

Joren was irritated by their evasion and said tiredly, "It doesn't really matter anyway - whoever it is will have to visit _us_ soon out of courtesy. Isn't he supposed to come here at _least_ twice a year, so that we may coordinate the guards for our deliveries to Corus? Really, Mother, just tell me who's in charge of Stonebridge now."

When Lady Virryn said Kel's full name and title, Joren swore and had his first temper tantrum since waking up. He even mustered enough strength to throw a pillow at the frosty window across the room. All of the birds sitting on the windowsill flew into the air and then around the courtyard before resettling in the bare branches of nearby trees. All except for one very observant little bird, who flew up higher and higher until she disappeared over the ridge toward Fort Stonebridge.

* * *

Kel stood on the span of the stone bridge for which the fort was named. She could hear the sounds of excited miners from one side of the mountain to the other. Kel pondered the words of the miners' 'Lazy Lord' song again as she raised her spyglass to the sky; it seemed that was all the miners sang now as they got back to work. Soon enough, she saw the majestic eagle swooping down toward her. The fact that none of the ever-present sparrows bothered to flinch when the bird of prey came closer told Kel that this was indeed her friend, Daine the Wildmage.

When the King's surveyors discovered that massive rockslides had blocked all the passageways and halted the rescue efforts, it only made sense for Daine to be the one to find out what help Kel needed. After Daine reported that the Lord of Stone Mountain was awake for certain, Kel sent her back to Corus. King Jonathan and his advisors all thought it would be a good idea for Daine to travel back and forth and stay with Kel from time to time. Those who remembered Duke Roger's return were especially wary, even though Numair had explained the difference between death and Joren's Deep Sleep to them. So Daine also agreed to spy on Joren and act as a messenger when needed. Daine usually took on the form of a sparrow or some other small bird when she spied on Stone Mountain, but she almost always flew back as an eagle. Kel gave Daine a room of her own room within the fort so she could transform in private.

Kel wasn't sure she wanted to hear what Daine had to say about the newly awake Joren, but she also knew that it was much better for her to have as much information as possible about her former nemesis. It was also nice to have Daine to talk to. Sir Aron of Aili, as well as the other officers who had been away on midwinter's leave, were not able to get back to the fort just yet. While Kel felt comfortable around the soldiers, she knew they didn't always want their commander hanging about. So the two women ate their meals together and talked about everything Daine observed so that Kel could prepare reports for her to take to General Vanget as well as the King.

"Well, it's official," said Daine, stuffing a piece of warm bread in her mouth. "Lord Joren of Stone Mountain really is up and about and he seems to be doing well. At first, his mother and his healer had to support him when he tried to walk; he looked just like a newborn colt on his wobbly legs." Daine swallowed her food and giggled at the thought. "Now he's walking a bit better. I can tell he's trying very hard to get back to normal. "

Kel stopped eating and sat quietly for a moment before she asked, "Does he ... _look _... normal?" She resisted the urge to make the sign against evil.

"_Look_ normal?" Daine mused, "There's nothing 'normal' about a man who sleeps for seven years and then wakes up looking like a young Balcus Starsworn, that insanely handsome springtime god. Mithros! Joren's gorgeous - and I ought to know because I've seen the real Starsworn. Of course, Numair is more _my_ type, but a girl would have to be blind not to notice that face and those eyes." **A/N: I see Joren as a young Joe Anderson sort of guy. He played Henry Austen in 'Becoming Jane' and Max in 'Across the Universe,' in case you don't know who I talking about.**

Kel remembered how beautiful Joren looked on the outside, but she knew from personal experience that he was rotten on the inside. So much had happened in the past seven years; she wondered if his 'Deep Sleep' had changed him in any way. Even Kel could admit that she wasn't exactly the same person Joren had threatened in the hallway after Vinson's Ordeal. She hoped for all their sakes that the 'Lazy Lord' of Stone Mountain had changed for the better - otherwise, she just might have to make him go back to sleep for good. Then Kel chided herself for thinking such unkind thoughts. For all she knew, he could be 'Lord Sweetness and Light' now. She promised herself to refrain from judging him until she had the chance to see him and speak with him directly.

"Kel, I've been meaning to ask you," Daine began, "what's that 'thing' you just did with your face? One moment you looked quite bothered by something, and then the next moment your face was as blank as new fallen snow. How do you do that?"

"Oh ... well, the Yamani people think it's shameful to show their emotions on their faces." Kel explained. "As an ambassador's child, I learned very quickly to adapt to the local customs, like using the glaive and knowing how to calm myself by thinking of peaceful images. I realize it's been several years, but that particular custom of making my face a blank mask has always stuck."

"Wow!" exclaimed Daine. "That must come in handy when you're playing card games or chess. Numair always figures out what my next move is just by watching my face. I give away every move. Even our children know what I'm going to do next. Can you teach me how to do what you do?"

Kel laughed. "I can try. But I'll warn you - a blank face really seems to annoy some people. It used to irritate the boys so much when we all were pages. They tried to make me angry and they tried to make me cry, but I would just blank them out. It especially got on Joren's nerves. He and his cronies tried the hardest to get me to quit. They used to call me 'the Lump' - even to my face."

"Ouch! That wasn't very nice." Daine winced and then asked, "Why didn't anybody stop them?"

Kel paused as she thought about Lord Wyldon and Lalasa and Balor's Needle. "I suppose that back then, nobody expected me to succeed, or at least very few people did. I had to prove I was worthy to stay and train with the boys. And some of those boys, Joren in particular, were very good at being charming to other people; they saved all their venom for me. Anyway, that's all in the past. Except that now Joren is back. I certainly hope he has changed enough to just accept things the way they are today."

"All we can do is hope for the best." Daine remembered the thrown pillow, but decided not to mention it yet. "I'll bet Joren's like a bear in the springtime - most of them wake up and just want food. Some of them are looking around for their mates, while others are just plain grumpy."

"In that case, let's hope Joren doesn't come out of his den fighting," Kel replied.

"Yes. It'll be such a waste of mortal beauty if he is still as mean-spirited as you say," Daine mused. "No one who looks _that_ good in his skin should be _that_ bad in his heart."

"Ha! From your mouth to the gods' ears." Kel slowly shook her head as she finished eating her meal.

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A/N: Silver for Kel and Stone for Joren - get it? I guess you could turn it around and have Silver for Joren, with his white-blonde hair and Stone for Kel, with her Zen-like calm, too. Either way, I hope you liked it. Please R&R. Thanks!


	17. Progress and Plans

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: Okay, this is a long chapter. Originally this chapter and the next chapter were one humongous chapter, but I had to break them up. Bonus for you - you get two updates this time. :D I just hope they flow alright. Enjoy!**

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Progress and Plans

The morning was bright and the sky was clear as Kel drank her hot cider and looked out of her office window. There was a new, but thin layer of snow on the ground, making everything look fresh and clean. Kel thought she would never get enough of the mountain views; the sky was so blue it almost stunned her eyes and she loved looking up at the snowcapped mountain peaks where she could occasionally see the wild goats enjoying their freedom. She now understood why the previous commander had spent over twenty years here at Stonebridge. Kel considered that it wouldn't be so bad to stay here in the mountains. She had bonded easily with the village headmen of both Silver Stream and Ironblade, and the villagers greeted her with warm smiles. If history repeated itself, and it usually did, there would be plenty of opportunities to use her battle skills against the Scanran spring raiders and other bandits. All things considered, this was a very good life, even if she had to endure Joren as her closest neighbor.

Kel opened the window and spread dried fruit on the snow-covered ledge as a treat for her sparrow friends. She had just completed writing a progress report to send to General Vanget when Daine arrived, again in the form of an eagle. This time, the Wildmage flew in through the open window and only transformed her head before she started speaking to Kel. Kel had gotten used to the weird vision of Daine's little head on an eagle body; she knew that it meant Daine was only staying for a short time before flying back to Corus. Both of them had come to the conclusion that it was a waste of time for Daine to watch Joren. All he did was eat and sleep, talk to his mother as they looked over piles of documents, and grapple with his men-at-arms for exercise. Daine had informed Kel that she thought Joren would have no choice but to ask for real help soon if he was serious about regaining his skills as a knight. His men were good at what they could do, but none of them had ever trained for knighthood; therefore Joren would not be able to practice sword drills or tilt against any of them. Only Kel and her officers could offer him the kind of training he seemed to need, especially because no one else would be able to come up the mountains for a while yet.

"Numair says it will probably be another two or three weeks before supplies can get through," Daine, ruffling her feathers, reported to Kel. "He's got two other mages working with him now to move one set of rocks with a spell and then crumble them to dust with another spell. The tricky thing is to hold back the new rocks that keep rolling down and make them go someplace other than the part of the road they just cleared. Numair explained it all to me but it's too complicated. By the way, everyone sends their greetings. They all want to know how you're holding up against Joren, but I told them that you haven't even seen him yet. Neal is especially worried."

Kel rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. It was getting shaggy, but she didn't care as long as she could keep it out of her eyes. "Trust Neal to worry about me getting into more brawls with Joren. Mithros! We're not squabbling squires anymore."

"For what it's worth, lots of folk - Raoul, Buri, Yuki, even Tobe - hope you kick Joren's b- ... well, you get the picture," said Daine.

"Tobe? He never even met Joren!" Kel exclaimed. "Honestly! When you think about it, _I _don't even know Joren, not really. And _Joren_ certainly doesn't know me - he never did."

"Well, do you want me to go over one last time and see what the man is up to now?" asked Daine.

"No!" Kel had a determined look on her face as she made up her mind to move forward. "Daine, thank you so much for all of your help. I would have gone mad up here without your company and friendship, but I think you should stay home with your family for a while. There's just no point to your spying on Stone Mountain anymore. We know now that Joren is only trying to get back to normal - whatever _that_ might be for him. Everything else that's happening is just more mining and more stonecutting. It's going to be a very lucrative year for both the Royal Treasury and Stone Mountain. And like you said, it'll only be a few more weeks before we can all get together again."

Daine opened her mouth to protest, but Kel held up her hand and continued to speak.

"Please, tell _everyone _that we're fine up here. Sir Aron has returned from Aili - he found some goat trail and made his way back across the mountain. I've brought him up to date on everything that's happened so far." Kel paused and took a deep breath. "It is time for the _Commander_ of Stonebridge to pay a visit to the _Lord_ of Stone Mountain. I will be polite and I will inform him of Numair's progress. It's the right thing to do. Anyway, we _need_ to start coordinating the guards for the first shipment of all this new silver and stone. No more putting it off!"

Daine looked at her friend and nodded. She knew that once Kel set her mind to something, there was no point in trying to dissuade her.

* * *

Joren's dream was the same as it had been for the past few days:

_He was walking up the worn path that led to his favorite grassy hilltop. He knew he would find her here - Lady Celeste of Groten, his late friend's widow. He crunched his boots into the gravel so that she would not be startled by his presence. They both knew there was no future together for them but he wanted her now. Her arms were folded across her chest to keep herself warm while the wind was fiercely pulled at her skirts. Joren could feel the tension in her tight shoulder and neck muscles when he reached out to gently massage them. She relaxed into him, still looking out over the valley toward the setting sun. The scent of her hair and the warmth of her skin were intoxicating to him as he leaned in to nuzzle the area of her neck just under her ear. He knew he could convince her to come back to the castle before the fiercer, skin-chafing winds gusted up from the valley. "Please come back inside. The wind only gets worse after the sun goes down," he whispered seductively to her and then thought to add, "I promise ... I won't harm you." She turned in his arms to face him and kissed him warmly on his lips. To his complete horror and shock, the object of Joren's affection was not the Lady Celeste; it was instead his old enemy, Keladry of Mindelan. _

Joren woke himself up with a start. Sweat beaded on his forehead and his heart was beating rapidly. He knew he was supposed to find love with Keladry - it was one of the gods' conditions for him living beyond this year - but the mere thought of her blank 'Yamani Lump' face and her total disdain for him was so emasculating, Joren couldn't begin to think of how to win her heart. Not that he had had any experience with actually wooing ladies - they had always swarmed around him when he was younger and he just picked whoever appealed to him the most. Right now, the Lady Celeste was far more appealing - and available - than Kel. Joren was relieved that this part of his life was completely back to normal. He would figure out what to do about Kel later.

Lady Celeste had been staying at Stone Mountain since before the New Year's earthquake. She had been visiting her brother Sir Alwin the healer, for the midwinter holidays and then stayed to assist him while he tended to the villagers who had been injured in the earthquake. He was her closest relative since her husband, Sir Ansil of Groten, had been killed during the Scanran War. She never had felt welcome at Groten, especially since she had failed to give them any heirs. Although their older brother offered Celeste a place back at Jennsmont, she preferred to stay with Alwin for the time being. Here, at least, she was able to offer help and feel useful again.

Joren had known of Celeste since they were children. Celeste had had a crush on Joren when they were young, even though she was several years older than him. Her father had been the healer for Stone Mountain, and her brother Alwin had taken over the duties when their father died. Lord Burchard considered Celeste an excellent candidate for marriage to Joren because the Jennsmont family was related through marriage to one of his female cousins. Unfortunately for Lord Burchard's plans, Ansil of Groten wooed Celeste and married her while Joren was still a young squire. Celeste and Ansil had not been able to have children before one of Blayce's killing machines ended the bold knight's life. Now, as a barren widow, Celeste had no expectations of a lasting relationship with Joren, but she didn't mind sharing his bed for the time being. The main problem for Joren, other than the fact that she was not the person he was supposed to be with, was that Celeste was somewhat physically frail. He always had to be so gentle with her, but at least she was a willing partner.

When Joren woke up from his bizarre dream, Celeste stirred next to him and snuggled deeper into the covers against the early morning chill in the air. Joren wrinkled his nose at the sight of the new fallen snow outside his window. He looked down at Celeste, laying there so peacefully, and wished he could snuggle back in with her. Celeste definitely was not Kel. The only thing that was even slightly similar between the two women was the color of their hair; they both had mousy brown hair that showed blondish highlights in the sun. But Celeste's long tresses fanned out across both of their pillows as she slept. Celeste was a _real_ woman. She was soft and warm and ... Joren sighed heavily and pulled on his cold loincloth and breeches. It was time to get to work.

One of the things that Joren had decided to do was to imitate the exercises he had experienced Kel doing when the Chamber forced him to 'visit' Kel. Joren figured he must have spent the majority of his seven-year slumber 'reliving' the first fifteen years of Kel's life. He knew that he must capitalize on all the time he spent inside of Kel's head; Joren called it his 'hidden knowledge' of Kel. His memory wasn't perfect, but he guessed that if the weird exercise routines Kel had done every morning made her stronger, then they would probably work for him, too. Joren obviously didn't own a glaive, but he did find a heavy staff and now he worked at a reasonable form of all the movements he remembered Kel doing. Joren really despised all the moving and stretching and sweating before breakfast, but he knew he had to get back in shape as quickly as possible. His chance at life was going by pretty fast.

When Joren finished, he wiped the sweat from his face and drank down an entire pitcher of water. Every muscle screamed in protest, but he no longer felt the burning numbness that tormented him when he first woke up from the Deep Sleep. He hated that he actually had learned something from his time as a spirit within Kel's mind and body, but he longed to spar with her and surprise her with what he knew to do now. A slow smile spread across his face as he crossed back over to his bed. Celeste had been a silent audience-of-one for the last part of his workout and she looked quite impressed.

"It's no wonder you're getting back to normal so quickly," she remarked. "My brother is amazed at your progress. Does he know you're doing all this?"

"I did tell him that I am exercising as much as possible, but I haven't told him any specifics," Joren replied. "I just want to be ready for whatever happens when I go to Corus to swear my loyalty to the King. I hope he'll go ahead and knight me, but who knows? It's been seven years. I've seen some of the villagers make the sign against evil when I pass by. There are ... others ... who might not take kindly to my return. I may have to defend myself."

"Surely not!" she replied. "You're a good man, Joren. Ansil always said so."

"Not everyone would agree. So I _must_ work hard - just as your brother said. That's why I'm doing all these exercises."

"Where did you learn them? I never saw Ansil do any kind of exercises like that."

"Ah ... no. These are some things I've ... learned ... along the way."

Joren had inwardly flinched at the mention of his late friend. He knew that both he and Celeste were consenting adults, but being with her felt wrong. It was as though Ansil's ghost might barge in at any moment and accuse him of breaking some part of the Code of Chivalry or at least failing his duties as a friend. This was in addition to the feeling that he was 'stealing' Kel's knowledge and experiences to use against her. Joren knew that he should try harder to be honorable, but he didn't want to think about all of that at the moment. He might only have this year to live, so he intended to enjoy just a little bit of it now and _then_ get serious about his missions. Joren had wiped away all the sweat and was ready to pull on his shirt, when he noticed that Celeste had pushed back the covers just enough to let him know she was willing for a little 'exercise' of their own making. He did not hesitate to oblige.

* * *

Lady Virryn was _not_ happy about the situation between her son and Lady Celeste. It was a waste of precious time, in her opinion. The Goddess never promised her that she would live to see an heir born to Stone Mountain, but she had hoped that Joren would seek out serious candidates for marriage when he emerged from his Deep Sleep. Unfortunately, they all were still isolated from 'civilization' due to the earthquake and there were only two noble-born women available at this time - Lady Celeste and Lady Keladry. Virryn already knew, from an earlier conversation with Sir Alwin, that Celeste had failed to give the House of Groten any heirs. Fortunately for that family, Ansil had two younger brothers who already had sons of their own. Stone Mountain had no such fortune. Virryn wanted a grandchild, and she wanted one _soon_, before she went to the Peaceful Realms.

There had been a time when Lord Burchard had wanted to destroy Squire Keladry of Mindelan. Even after he knew that Joren was not dead, he hired men to secretly investigate Kel's family, as well as to follow her around. He had hoped to find some breech of decorum or moral laxness, but the only 'dirt' he could find was that the girl had had some sort of innocent dalliance with a young knight from Kennan, who later married another woman. No, Keladry and the House of Mindelan were quite clean, so he gave up his quest to dishonor her.

After Lord Burchard's death, Lady Virryn discovered the information about the girl, her ambassador father, and their extended family. Her sneaky husband had kept the documents locked in his desk in his private office. It was there that she learned that the new commander of Fort Stonebridge came from a very large, very _fertile _family. Virryn ached with envy when she thought of Lady Ilane's nine living children and uncountable grandchildren. Best of all, the Mindelan clan did not share _any_ bloodlines with Stone Mountain. Lady Virryn remembered the Goddess' warnings very clearly and she was not going to take any chances with the future of Stone Mountain.

There was an old woman who told fortunes and sold potions in a booth outside of the village's temple of the Goddess. After the new moon service, Lady Virryn slipped quietly into the old woman's tent. It was very dark and the air was thick with the smoke from musky-smelling incense.

"I know why you're here and I know what you want," cackled the crone, her eyes shining brightly in the light of the single dim candle. Virryn bowed her head and offered the old woman a red velvet bag full of gold coins. She said nothing as the woman rummaged in a leather case that was caked with dust. The woman finally pulled out a small glass vial, dark green in color, with a cork stopper. She held it in the palm of her withered hand and Virryn stared at it intently.

"This is the most powerful love potion known to mortal man." said the old woman. "You cannot taste it or smell it, so it disappears in food or drink. Take care not to get it on your skin, unless you want the effects for yourself."

Virryn bit her lower lip and nodded silently in her understanding.

"One drop is enough to enable lovers to go on for a long time," instructed the ancient woman, with a sly, toothless smile. "Two drops helps lovers to see each other in the best light, no matter how repulsive they actually may be. Three drops and the lovers see the one they most want to be with at that time. The illusion only lasts for twelve bells worth of time, so you must plan carefully. Do you understand, my lady?"

Lady Virryn swallowed, and answered slowly, her voice was barely above a whisper. "If I ... if I were to take one drop of this potion, I would not tire in bed. If I were to take _two_ drops of this potion, I would see my ... lover ... as the most handsome man I know. If I were to take _three_ drops of this potion, I would see the face of the person I most love instead of, say, my steward - but only until morning?"

The crone shook her head and laughed which sounded more like a harsh barking. "No, no, no. Not the person you most love, dearie, rather the _lover_ you most desire. There is a difference. For _you_ ... you would only see your late husband, because he is the only lover you ever had. Someone who has had many lovers will see their most _favored_ one, even if that is not the person they actually are with at the time. Otherwise, you do seem to understand the seriousness of handling this vial properly. If you are cautious, you will succeed."

Lady Virryn's eyes were as wide as saucers. This woman knew things about her family that she shouldn't know. This woman knew the desire that burned in her heart. This woman was giving her the means to secure the future she wanted so desperately. This woman was placing unspeakable danger in her hands. Virryn's fingers closed around the vial as the crone gently place it in her palm. Virryn closed her eyes and bowed her head again; when she lifted her face up to thank the old woman the tent was empty. She was alone.

* * *

"_Nicely_ done, dear sister," applauded the Trickster god. "I couldn't have done it better myself."

"Go away, Kyprioth," warned the Great Goddess. "This has absolutely nothing to do with you or any of your vassals."

"Aw, can't I admire a good trick when I see one?"

"Fine. You came. You saw. You admired. Now, be gone!"

"Humph! See what happens when I try to pay you a sincere compliment?"

"Right. Don't you have some islands to take care of? Go bother them."

The Trickster was already gone.

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A/N: Tee hee! I know I tried to make you think that Joren got all his 'bad' genes from his father; however, as the saying goes 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree', and all of the Stone Mountain apples (remember Burchard and Virryn are cousins) are from the same tree. It's twisted - that's why this is rated 'T' anyway.


	18. Chivalry

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: Yes, it's another looong chapter. I just didn't feel like breaking it up any further. I used a lot of italicized font to convey people's thoughts. I'm not sure it's effective, so I'm open to suggestions about that. And yes, I know there are some OOC things going on, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!**

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Chivalry

_"If you survive the Ordeal of Knighthood, you will be a Knight of the Realm. You will be sworn to protect those weaker than you, to obey your overlord, to live in a way that honors your kingdom and your gods. ... To wear the shield of a knight is an important thing. You may not ignore a cry for help. It means that rich and poor, young and old, male and female may look to you for rescue, and you cannot deny them."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

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Cool, sky-blue eyes stared directly into guarded, long-lashed hazel eyes. Neither person flinched as they stood face-to-face, forearms gripped in the traditionally polite greeting of men of their social class. Keladry of Mindelan, Commander of Fort Stonebridge, was fulfilling her official duties to "conduct business and maintain fraternal bonds with the Lord of Stone Mountain." Joren, as the Lord of Stone Mountain, was fulfilling his role, too - as a gracious host and loyal noble citizen.

"Commander Keladry," Joren spoke smoothly as he inclined his head toward Kel, "Welcome to Stone Mountain. We are honored by your company. We apologize for not inviting you sooner, however, grieving the loss of my father and then our ongoing recovery from the recent earthquake made it quite difficult to receive company until now."

"_So ... this is my future," _thought Joren, as he assessed Kel's firm grip on his forearm._ "Mithros! She's as tall as I am now! And she's got such a strong grip, too ..." _

"Indeed," replied Kel, returning the nod as custom dictated. "Thank you for inviting me into your magnificent home. Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your esteemed father. The earthquake has affected all of us, but I understand that your recovery efforts are proceeding well. If I or my soldiers may be of any assistance, please do not hesitate to call upon us."

_"Mithros! He's more gorgeous than I remembered." _Kel thought, reminding herself to breathe normally and keep her face calm.Joren stood barely an inch taller than Kel, but he held himself in such a way that he seemed even taller than that. He was wearing a sky-blue velvet tunic over a cream-colored shirt and gray hose. His shoulder-length, white-blonde hair was pulled back into a horsetail and fastened with a silver clasp. Kel's eyes were momentarily drawn to the large medallion Joren wore around his neck, signifying that he was now the Lord of Stone Mountain. Its center was a highly polished piece of blue marble which was surrounded by intricately wrought silver. The stone matched Joren's eyes perfectly. _"It seems as though the seven years of Deep Sleep didn't harm his looks any. I'm so glad Daine warned me. Honestly! I know women who would die for hair like his."_

"Thank you. It is very kind of you to offer your assistance." Joren released Kel's arm and ushered her into the great hall. He smiled inwardly as he watched Kel looking him over. "I hope your ride across the pass wasn't too tiring. May I offer you some refreshment before we tour the quarries?" And he gestured to a small table covered with pitchers of wine and cider. _"Look at her - she's still the same old Lump - all stiff and proper. But I know it's all a ruse - she's thinking about a thousand things behind those long lashes of hers." _

"Most of the snow has blown away, so the ride over the pass was quite pleasant." Then she remembered his offer and added. "I would prefer the cider, please." _"So, this is the charming side of Joren that everyone else saw all those years. I suppose I'd better enjoy it while it lasts."_

Joren poured Kel a goblet of cider and led her to a small receiving area off to the side of the large, beautifully decorated hall. As she looked around at the fine tapestries and well-crafted furniture, Kel noticed that Stone Mountain's colors and her own Mindelan colors were almost the same. There was a subtle difference in the blue of each of their tunics - Joren's blue perfectly matched his eyes, while Kel's blue was more of a muted shade. Both she and Joren wore cream-colored shirts and gray breeches, but his clothes were made of a rich satin fabric and hers were more practical linen and wool.

"I was wondering - how does it feel to be considered a hero of the Scanran War?" Joren asked suddenly, thinking to catch Kel off guard. "You know - 'Protector of the Small' and all that? My mother has tried to bring me up to date on most of the things that happened in the past seven years. I must say, I'm rather impressed. Who would have thought you would become so famous?" _"Certainly not me, but we both know that."_

Kel blinked at Joren's sudden question. She finished her cider before she replied, "I was just doing my duty. That nickname came from a child - in fact, most of the people I helped rescue were children. I've always felt that it is important to defend those who are not able to defend themselves." _"Ugh - 'Protector of the Small' - I despise that nickname! Of course Joren would have to find out about it. I won't be able to stand it if he starts calling me that."_

"Yes, I remember you defending quite a few defenseless pages back in our brawling days," Joren began carefully, "I know I've asked for a fresh start with you before, although I acknowledge that I behaved very badly afterward. But, but do you think we might be able to ... well ... start fresh again?" _"We may as well get this out of the way now."_

Kel blinked again. "I don't see why not. After all, we're both adults now and those days are long past." "_Good gods! I never would have expected something like this. Maybe the Chamber straightened him out after all. Maybe it just took longer with him because he was such an as-"_

Kel's thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Jem Carver, the master stonecutter, as well as Marcus Tanner, the village headman from Stonesedge, where most of the workers at Stone Mountain lived. After Joren introduced the men, they all went out to their horses and rode to the main quarry. The men explained the different types of stone and how they were quarried and processed. Kel noticed all the curious glances that the workers gave them, but she was used to folk being surprised when they realized that she was not a man. Joren noticed the stares, too, and they amused him for a while. Usually, when he rode around the quarries or went down to Stonesedge, most of the people greeted Joren with a mix of respect and wonder that he enjoyed. But now there were always a few superstitious people who did not understand how he could be alive again. This day, he had only seen two people making their subtle signs against evil when they thought he wasn't looking. As Joren realized he would just have to get used to that reaction, it suddenly made him think that perhaps his situation wasn't so different from Kel having to prove herself over and over again to ignorant people such as these.

The sun had burned off the morning fog and the sky above the mountains was a brilliant blue. The tour group had made their way to one of the newer quarries where there was a lot of activity. Marcus Tanner was showing Kel and her soldiers some roughly-hewn samples of the new greenish brown stone, as well as an older lot of the rarer blue marble for which Stone Mountain had long been famous. The headsman's words suddenly faltered when Jem Carver whispered something in his ear. Kel noticed that many of the nearby workers had stopped what they were doing and were now watching the tour group intently. Both men turned to look directly at Kel's face.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Kel asked, looking back and forth between Joren and his guides. _"I wonder what's going on. I hope nothing has happened to any of the workers."_

"My Lord, take a look," Jem reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, nearly oval piece of the new stone that had been polished and held it out for Joren to take from the palm of his hand. Joren held up the stone and looked at it carefully. As the sunlight glinted off of its polished surface, Joren thought about how much money the new stone would bring to Stone Mountain. Then Jem whispered something in Joren's ear and nodded in Kel's direction. Joren's eyebrows went up, but then his expression turned into a frown. Kel was unnerved by all the attention, but she held her face in its mask.

"Lady Knight," began Jem, "It's ... the workers. They've noticed something strange and ... um ... we've got a lot of peculiar legends and customs and such here on the mountain." Jem paused and shifted in his saddle.

Marcus Tanner interrupted, "There's this song that talks about the 'greenish brown and blue', and everyone always thought it was just about the stone and the silver - because of the earthquake and such. The people have their beliefs, my lady, and ... well, you know our lord here ... his eyes always matched the old stone, just like his father and his father's fathers before him. It's always been that way with Stone Mountain."

Kel was thoroughly confused now. She had tried to follow what the headman was talking about, but it didn't make much sense to her. Sure, she remembered the song - she had heard it about a hundred times a day since the earthquake. But what did it have to do with this piece of stone in Joren's hands? And why was everyone staring at her? She knew her face had to be a bright pink by now, but she stayed outwardly calm.

"It's probably just silliness," continued Jem Carver, "but the workers are all excited because they can see how your eyes match the new stone and well, there's these prophecies and such and ..."

"That's quite enough, Jem," interrupted Joren. "Yes, it is silliness and we need not give the people reasons to be more superstitious than they already are. I think we've seen enough for today. Let's end it here. Thank you, Jem. Thank you, Marcus. That will be all." _"Mithros! I will not have her thinking we're a bunch of superstitious ninnies here at Stone Mountain. It's just a song for Goddess' sake!"_

Kel took another look at the stone in Joren's hand. The strange mottled pattern of the greenish brown polished marble matched the hazel of Kel's eyes perfectly. She knew it was true. _"I can hardly believe this! It's too strange."_

Kel thanked the master stonecutter and the village headman for their time and attention. She told them she looked forward to being able to buy items made of the new stone as soon as they had some available. They invited her to return to Stonesedge during their Midsummer's festival, when the craftsman would have their work on display and for sale. Joren nodded in agreement and then escorted Kel and her soldiers back to the castle.

"Sorry about that," he said, almost sheepishly. "The common people do tend to take their legends and bedtime tales rather too seriously. Some of them might even try to name the new stone after you now." _"Idiots!"_

Kel managed to keep a straight face as she replied, "People are people. We can't help it if they think the new stone looks like my eyes. Just don't let them name it 'Protector of the Small-stone', or I'll have to hurt you." _"That would be unbearable."_

Kel's soldiers snickered and coughed at their leader's dry comment. They all knew how much she disliked being called by her nickname. They even knew not to sing the ballads and tavern songs that had circulated about their famous commander - she would get very grumpy whenever she heard them. In the practice yard, Kel had a tendency to choose to spar against anyone who had called her 'Protector of the Small' - and she usually beat them soundly.

Now it was Joren's turn to blink. _"Did she just make a joke?"_

* * *

"My chamberlain will be here soon to assign a servant to you for the duration of your stay," Joren said to Kel as they walked back into the great hall. "And I'm sure your men will find their accommodations in the garrison better than adequate. Would you care for some more cider?" _"I don't want her pondering silly people and their prophecies the rest of the day. I've got to change the topic. Think, man, think!"_

"Actually, juice would be nice." Kel replied, wondering if she would have the opportunity to take a bath before dinner. She accepted the goblet from Joren and started to look at her surroundings.

The large granite castle at Stone Mountain was very impressive. Hanging above the grand foyer was a massive silver chandelier. The floor of the great hall was made of black marble, with the family crest of inlaid marble prominently displayed. The crest was a blue marble, which matched Joren's medallion, and the outline was a smoky gray marble. In the center was an inlaid silver outline of a mountain above crossed silver swords. Kel supposed it was only natural that so many of the accessories in Joren's home were silver, since there also had been silver mines here at one time. Kel blinked when she realized that Joren had asked her a question.

"Pardon me?" Kel said as she felt a blush creep into her cheeks. She instantly fixed her face back into its unreadable mask, but she knew the color was still there. _"Pay attention, Mindelan!"_

_"Ah, good, she's impressed by her surroundings,"_ Joren gloated inwardly. _"I've caught her off guard. Let's see if I can keep the advantage." _Joren practiced his own version of the 'Yamani Lump' face by biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling at his private thoughts.

"I merely wanted to know how your friend, Cleon, is doing," replied Joren. "I would have thought you might be wearing the Kennan colors by now." _"Why hasn't anyone married you? Even the Lioness had scrounged up a husband by the time she was your age. What's the problem - other than the fact that you're a lady knight and a commander and a war hero? "_

"I understand that Cleon and his wife Ermelian are doing quite well." Kel tried to make her voice sound pleasant. "I believe they have two children now." _"Gods above! I thought we were making progress today. Maybe the Chamber didn't help him get his head out of his behind after all." _

"How nice for them," Joren nearly smiled, but kept his expression pleasantly bland. _"Yes! Now she has on her 'Yamani Lump' face. I really must be on to something. Let's see if I can get her to tell me why she didn't marry one of her pathetic crushes."_

"How is Lord Raoul, your old knight master?" Joren asked. "And your other friend, Nealan of Queenscove?"

Kel's memory of the time Joren told her she should marry either Cleon or Lord Raoul and "settle down and raise young giants" suddenly flooded into her thoughts. She knew her cheeks continued to burn, but she stubbornly held on to her mask. _"Mithros' shield! Now I know what Joren's doing, but his guesses about my prospective suitors are terribly stuck in the past - seven whole years worth of the past!" _Kel realized, and struggled to stay calm. _"I am a rock. I am stone." _

"Lord Raoul is fine," she said evenly. She would not let him fluster her with his line of questioning. These could be perfectly innocent sociable inquiries, and she would answer politely. _"I am stone."_

Kel continued, "He is married to Commander Buriram Tourakom, formerly of the Queen's Riders. They now ride together with the King's Own. Neal married one of Princess Shinkokami's ladies-in-waiting, Yukimi noh Diaomoru, and they have one daughter." _"As if it's any of your business."_

Kel paused and then, in a fit of mischief, added quickly, "And Owen of Jesslaw recently married Lord Wyldon's youngest daughter Margarry. Let's see ... Merric of Hollyrose is betrothed to Owen's sister, and Faleron of King's Reach will be married to my cousin this summer. I'm not sure if either Esmond of Nicoline or Seaver of Tasride is married, but I think it's safe to assume that they are, too. There, I think that's most of my old gang. How are _your_ friends doing? Have you heard from any of them?" "_I am stone. I am stone. I am stone!"_

Now it was Joren's turn to blink. "I ... uh ... well, the earthquake and all ... no, I haven't heard from anyone really," he managed to stammer out. _"Blast! She caught me off guard!"_

"Oh yes, the earthquake." Kel nodded her head slowly. _"Take that, you snake!_"

Joren recovered and drawled smoothly, "I do plan to visit friends in Corus when I have my audience with the King." "_Humph! I won't let the Lump bother me, not in my own house."_

"Oh, I have good news to tell you," Kel spoke quickly, happy to have a different topic to discuss. "I received a message from Master Numair Salmalin that the roads should be clear enough for supplies to get through within three weeks. Is King Jonathan going to call for your loyalty as the new lord here? Do you think he will knight you soon?" _"Even if it's just an inherited title for you now?"_

"Yes, I believe so. We have kept in contact with our steward in Corus by using messenger birds. I am to appear before the King at my earliest convenience. The royal court has been informed of my ... status. So, three more weeks, hmm? That is good news." Joren said as he thought, _"Mithros! That's not a lot of time to rebuild my skills with a sword. Now I _have_ to ask for her help - I can't do this by myself anymore." _

"So ... I suppose we should start making plans for the guard escort of all this new silver and stone. Our caravan will be quite a tempting target for bandits, and we'll need every available sword. How are things coming along here with your men?" said Kel. _"Here we go ... I wonder if he'll jump at this."_

"Actually, _I_ have been working on getting back into fighting condition here, with my men," Joren admitted, trying to sound nonchalant. "But I might like to join you and your officers for some sword practice - maybe even some tilting. I know that the indoor practice yards at Fort Stonebridge are some of the best in the realm. Sometimes I would train there - when I was a boy." _"Gods, this is embarrassing! But I must do what I must do."_

"Really? I think that would be fine," said Kel, still keeping her face calm. "It's been a long time since you and I have worked out on the practice courts together. How's your sword arm?" _"I'm going to beat you like a dusty tapestry!"_

"Well, I think some good workouts will help." Joren met Kel's calm gaze with one of his own, "My grip seems to be a little off right now, but my healer believes that hard work will give me the improvements I need." _"I can't wait to use some of the Lump's very own moves against her. She won't know what hit her."_

"Your grip?" Kel asked. "Have you done any staff work or sword drills?" _"We both remember that you used to be the best swordsman."_

"No, and I hate to ask on such short notice," Joren tried to sound humble but he didn't really succeed, "But, would you mind if I were to spend some time, say, next week ... training at the fort ... with you? I really do want to be prepared when we take the new stone down to Corus." _"I really, really, really hate to ask, but I have no choice."_

"You know I cannot refuse a request for assistance," stated Kel smoothly, "The Code of Chivalry dictates that I help you in any way I can. Of course you may train with me - with us. Most of my officers are fine swordsmen. Please, as the Commander of Fort Stonebridge, I insist that you come to visit us - next week is fine - before the mountain passes are open again. We will be honored." _"Well, there it is. I'm sure he cannot resist that flowery invitation."_

"We can continue to plan for the caravan to Corus, too." Joren added quickly, wanting to further justify his trip to Stonebridge." _"That's what I'll tell my mother. I don't want her to worry any more than she already does."_

Kel finished her juice just as a dignified-looking elderly man dressed in the Stone Mountain livery entered the foyer. A cheerful, middle-aged maid accompanied him.

"Pardon me, my lord ... my lady," the chamberlain said, as he bowed toward Kel. "I have brought a maid to assist my lady with all your needs. We took your things to your room while you were touring the quarries. If you like, she will show you to your rooms now, my lady."

Kel and Joren bowed to one another and then Kel followed the woman through an arched doorway and down a long, torch lit hall. The maid opened the heavy wooden door and ushered Kel inside. The fire in the fireplace was nice and warm, and Kel could see that a steaming bath awaited her. She was grateful for the service. After the maid placed a clean drying cloth next to the tub, she turned to address Kel.

"My name's Molly and I've been at Stone Mountain since the young lord was born. I started out here as his nursemaid." she said and smiled warmly at Kel. "Tis an honor to be servin' ye, milady. My cousin's husband stayed at New Hope for a while afore he came this way. He speaks highly of ye, milady."

"Thank you, Molly," replied Kel, slightly embarrassed by the compliment. "It's very good to meet you, too. And thank you for preparing my bath so quickly."

"Ye're most welcome, milady," Molly beamed and headed for the door. "I'll be back to help ye with gettin' dressed and doin' up yer hair fer dinner."

Molly had already closed the door before Kel could tell her that she really didn't need help with her gown or her hair. She would just have to wait until the maid returned. _"Imagine that - Joren's old nursemaid!"_ Kel undressed and slid into the warm water. She let her thoughts drift for just a little while before she started to scrub away the travel dust with the sweet-smelling soap Molly had provided. Kel wondered what kind of boy Joren had been before she met him as a page. Would he have been a happy little lad like her nephews, or was he already an arrogant little tyrant at a young age? Kel suddenly wanted to know. She wondered whether Molly would be tight-lipped about her former charge or if she'd tell lots of entertaining stories the way some maids did. This was shaping up to be quite an interesting visit.

When Molly returned to help Kel dress for dinner, she found the lady knight already completely dressed in a green velvet dress with brown lace accents. Kel had decided to wear the same gown that she wore to Owen's wedding. Molly was disappointed that she could only help Kel with her hair. Since she had cut it short again, Kel wore her hair in a net, studded with small pearls. Molly helped her arrange the fringe across her forehead into a smooth line. The last time Kel had visited Corus, Lalasa and Tian had spent a lot of time fussing over different ways to make Kel look like a proper lady when she wasn't wearing her uniform. Kel knew they would be dismayed that she had cut her hair, but Lalasa would know the reason behind it and hopefully make few comments. Kel looked at her reflection in the mirror and Molly nodded her head in approval.

"Ye're a right lovely sight, milady," commented Molly. "Ye'll be givin' that Groten Lady a bit of competition, I think."

Kel felt a chill of recognition at the name, and then she asked the maid, "Who is the 'Groten Lady'?"

"She's the healer's sister, milady," replied Molly. "Her husband was killed by one of them bad machines what ye stopped. Sir Ansil of Groten he was. Lady Celeste is stayin' here with her brother, Sir Alwin, but mostly she's glommed onto young Master, I mean, Lord Joren, milady."

Kel remembered Ansil of Groten all too well - he was the first of many hostile conservative knights, most of them Joren's cronies, against whom she jousted. That was also the first of many jousts that Kel won during the King's Progress. It seemed like such a long time ago. Kel was truly sorry for Lady Celeste's loss, especially because she had tried so hard to find Blayce before too many people died. She felt sad that she was too late to save Ansil, even if he was a bad knight. Obviously, the widow was finished with her period of mourning.

"So are they - Lord Joren and Lady Celeste - courting now?" Kel quietly asked, not wanting to seem too nosy.

Molly chuckled and said just as softly, as though she was telling Kel a secret, "Nay, milady, but I've never see any noblewoman refuse our lord's attentions. They just can't seem to help themselves. He's always been a charmer - if you know what I mean."

"I see," said Kel, as she smoothed the folds of her gown. "Well, I don't think that Lady Celeste has much to worry about from me. I have no intention of being '_charmed_' by your lord. And I doubt very seriously that he would even try."

Molly looked at Kel as though she possessed two heads, but she didn't say anything more before she ushered Kel down the hall toward the small banquet hall.

* * *

Joren and his mother, as well as Sir Alwin and Lady Celeste, were already waiting in the banquet hall. His back was to the doorway and he was explaining to them his upcoming visit to Stonebridge. Suddenly, Joren saw their facial expressions change, and he knew that Kel must have entered the room. When he turned around to greet her, he stopped in his tracks. Commander Keladry was now attired as _Lady _Keladry, and even Joren could appreciate the difference. The sight of Kel in her gown - and without a sword strapped to her side - momentarily caught him off guard. It only took him one heartbeat to regain his composure and resume his role as gracious host.

"Ah, Commander Keladry, may I present to you my mother, Lady Virryn of Stone Mountain." Joren held out his hand to bring his mother closer to Kel, as he fought to keep a straight face. _"Now I _am_ impressed. I remember those plain ugly gowns she always used to wear to dinner when we were pages, but this ... Mithros! Maybe there's hope after all."_

"I am very pleased to meet you, my lady." Kel curtsied to the older woman. _"Oh, she looks so tired and frail!"_

"Welcome to Stone Mountain, Lady Knight." Lady Virryn replied, and inclined her head toward Kel. She smiled to herself, _"Yes, she'll do very nicely indeed."_

Kel suddenly remembered how much different Joren's mother had looked the last time she had seen her - the morning after Joren's failed Ordeal. Back then, Lady Virryn had looked distraught as she tried to calm her raging lunatic of a husband. Kel hoped there were no lingering bad feelings about the past, but she didn't have time to ponder it because Joren had moved on to introducing his healer, Sir Alwin of Jennsmont, and the healer's sister, Lady Celeste of Groten. Sir Alwin was a short, stocky man with bushy eyebrows over wide brown eyes. He touched his lips to Kel's hand as he bowed to her and she curtsied to him. Lady Celeste was very pretty, with brown eyes and long brown hair put up into a Tyran twist. The bodice of her crimson dress was cut very low. Kel could understand Joren's attraction to his friend's widow - when they curtsied to one another, Kel feared the other woman's 'assets' would pop out.

Joren invited everyone to their places at the dinner table. He and his mother sat at opposite ends of the long table. The Jennsmont siblings sat next to each other on one side of the table, with Lady Celeste seated closest to Joren. Kel sat alone, opposite Sir Alwin. The food was absolutely the best that Kel had tasted in a long time. She had to restrain herself from gorging on the delicious offerings as each course arrived. She knew that everyone was watching her in some way. Joren boldly watched Kel from his end of the long table, not bothering to hide his interest in her eating. Lady Virryn stole sideways glances at Kel, not wanting to seem too obvious. Sir Alwin also sneaked an admiring glance or two in Kel's direction. Lady Celeste kept looking at Kel was as though she was trying to solve a puzzle.

Joren smiled inwardly as he watched Kel eat heartily. Somehow, it just pleased him to know that Kel was truly enjoying her food. At the end of the meal, she really looked content, even under her mask of serenity. Joren remembered - from his many 'visits' - the way Kel always felt at mealtimes. This was one way he thought he could put his 'hidden knowledge' of Kel to good use. He had specifically requested his cook prepare dishes that he knew that Kel would like. _"It's a good thing she gets so much exercise."_

Lady Celeste, who had consumed too much wine and not enough food, suddenly pushed aside her plate and blurted out. "I remember you now, Lady Keladry! We - my mother and I - were at the Cavall girl's wedding last autumn. My mother and Lady Vivienne have been the best of friends since childhood, and I accompanied her to Lord Wyldon's home for the party. You were wearing that same gown! I knew it seemed familiar. But ... but you've cut off all your hair! Why would any lady do that - or were you wearing a wig?"

Kel was appalled by Celeste's outburst, but she kept her face blank. It reminded her of the 'catfights' her sisters used to get into before they were married - they would tear each other apart when they both liked the same suitor. Evidently, this woman had mistakenly taken her as a rival for Joren's affection. Kel placed her hands in her lap, squeezed them together and calmly asked, "I beg your pardon, Lady Celeste, but did we meet at the wedding? There were so many people at Lord Wyldon's that day - I'm sorry I just don't remember you."

"Oh, no, we never met." said Celeste. "My mother doesn't agree with women like you and the Lioness becoming knights and all, so we didn't introduce ourselves at the party. I saw you flirting and dancing with all those men - even the groom! Mother thinks it's just ... well it isn't proper to associate with ..." and her voice trailed off.

"What my sister means to say," interjected Sir Alwin, as he removed his sister's wine goblet from her hands, "Is that, while the true conservatives of the realm are grudgingly grateful to you lady knights for saving our collective behinds so many times - they really wished you'd been born men in the first place. Personally, I thank you for stopping those horrid killing machines and fighting off the Scanrans, since some of us are no longer capable of doing so."

Lady Celeste glared at her brother, who pretended not to notice. Joren felt embarrassed by both of them, but he wanted to see how Kel would react. Lady Virryn decided in her mind that it was time for Celeste and Alwin to return to Jennsmont, especially since Joren seemed to be healthy again. Kel kept her face Yamani calm, thought about a calm pond, and waited for her pulse to slow down. She knew she was in conservative territory, but it had been a long while since anyone had been so bold as to state the real issues the way Sir Alwin had.

Kel replied carefully and with great poise, "I respect everyone's right to express his or her own opinion. I enjoy being a knight, and I believe that I am good at what I do. I hope that _you all_ enjoy whatever it is that you do; because that's part of the reason I wanted to help defend our realm. May the gods all bless Tortall!" _"I am a rock. I am stone."_

Joren was almost proud of the way Kel defended herself against the crassness of the Jennsmont siblings. He raised his goblet and said, "So mote it be!" _"Nice speech, Kel!" _

"I think perhaps we all should retire for the evening, and have a fresh start in the morning." Joren stood up, excused himself from the table and everyone else followed. He wanted to escape to his own rooms as soon as possible. He needed to think about everything he saw and heard that day. He did _not_ intend to visit Celeste's room tonight. Kel fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

The next day was clear and bright without a cloud in the sky. Kel and her soldiers saddled their horses and said their farewells to their hosts. Joren sauntered down the castle steps to wave them off. He was the epitome of a stately lord, dressed in a gray velvet tunic and blue cloak that matched both the sky and his eyes. He looked good and he carried himself as though he knew he looked good. Kel inwardly smiled at Joren's blatant vanity, but she kept her face calm as she carefully walked her horse to the bottom of the steps.

"I have an idea about what you can do to improve your sword grip," began Kel, as she reached into her leather pouch on Peachblossom's saddle. "You need some balls. Here, you can borrow mine. Just remember to bring them back to me when you come to the fort next week."

Kel's Yamani training kicked in as she held out the small leather balls that she used for exercising her hand muscles. They were a gift from the Lioness when Kel had returned as a second-year page. Kel's face was a smooth mask of calm. Joren slowly took the balls from Kel's outreached hand and looked at her with a strange, almost pained expression on his face.

"The exercises are easy, you just squeeze them in your hands," Kel fought hard not to smile or have any humor in her voice, while she demonstrated with her empty hand. "You know, like you're crushing nuts. That'll build up the strength of your grip in no time. I'm just trying to help." She bowed her head and quietly cleared her throat. "Thank you again for your hospitality, sir. We will look forward to your visit next week."

Joren just stood there with the leather exercise balls in his hand, stunned that Kel had gotten the best of him, as the lady knight turned her horse around and slowly headed for the castle gate. Kel's soldiers followed her lead and no one even cracked a smile until they were well past the outer wall. Then they all laughed until they cried as they headed toward the pass.

**

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A/N: Well, now Kel and Joren have become reacquainted. I have a Girl Scout campout this weekend, so I won't be able to update for a while. I hope the long chappie satisfies you. Tell me what you think. Thanks!


	19. Home Field Advantage, Part 1

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: This is the first part of another HUGE chapter. Since no one objected to my use of italicized font to convey people's thoughts, I'm going to continue doing that. Thank you for the wonderful reviews!**

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Home Field Advantage, Part 1

Sir Aron of Aili sat across from Kel while she finished reading the supply lists for the caravan to Corus. Aron had the rugged good looks of a man who was used to climbing and hiking in the mountains. His sandy brown hair was cut fairly short and his smoky gray eyes often held a hint a mischief. Aron was extremely discreet about his lifestyle choices, but he had informed Kel early on so that there wouldn't be any misunderstandings. Kel was just glad that she did not have to worry about another situation like with Merric. She and Aron made a good, absolutely platonic team. He was always telling Kel some bit of arcane knowledge or trivia that he had read about in the piles of scrolls and books he kept in his room. Sometimes Aron reminded Kel so much of Neal that she missed her long-time friend even more.

"So, I heard the men saying that you actually _invited_ the Lord of Stone Mountain to train with us," Aron said casually. "Is this something you really want to do, Kel? I mean, I thought your past history with the man was fairly traumatic. Don't you think this is a bit like ushering a fox into the henhouse?"

"On the contrary, Aron," replied Kel, setting aside the papers. "That would imply that we are the hens plump for the picking. You and I both know that is not so. If anything, we have the advantage because this is _our _home and we know what we are doing. Haven't you ever heard the old saying 'Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer'?"

"Then he's still your enemy?" Aron asked, with a concerned look on his face.

"I don't know what he is yet," admitted Kel. "I only know that when I was younger, if I let my guard down around Joren, he attacked me in ways I could never have imagined. Sometimes it was with punches, sometimes with words, and sometimes with hurting people close to me. But he's been out of the picture for seven years. No one knows what to think of Joren now. I need to be able to trust him - we must have all the help we can get to guard the shipments to Corus. Even General Vanget expects me to get assistance from Stone Mountain before I request reinforcements from the army. We've got to see what Joren can do."

"Well, if you're sure ..." Aron still sounded skeptical. At first, he had been intrigued by the strange case involving the Deep Sleep of Joren of Stone Mountain. Aron made sure the office was soundproof whenever he and Kel discussed her history with Joren. Kel was honest with Aron about all the brawls she and Joren got into when they were pages. She also told him about the kidnapping of Lalasa and Joren's trial and all the troubles afterward. As second-in-command to Kel, Aron was not very happy about hosting a man with so dark a past.

"Honestly, Aron, I think it will be good for both of us to see what kind of fighting skills the man possesses." Kel said firmly. "When Joren and I were pages and squires together, he was the best at both armed and unarmed combat. He performed very well in the practice yard - I had the blackened eyes and purple bruises to prove it. If Joren can be that good again, he'll be quite an asset to us when we travel to Corus. You know a lot of people have heard about the wealth we've uncovered up here and I fully expect bandits to come at us from every direction. Stone Mountain has just as much to protect as we do. Besides, I have a plan."

Kel outlined the basics of her plan to Aron who alternately laughed and shook his head at the details. The new Lord of Stone Mountain was going to be quite surprised - and thoroughly trained. Aron had never guessed that his commander could be so devious, but he was glad to see that she was going into the next week with her eyes wide open. Still, his intuition told him he and Kel were headed for a dangerously interesting time.

"This just reminds me of a story I once read," Aron shifted into his academic tone. "It was about a man who picked up a snake that begged to be carried across a busy road. The snake was too cold to move, so it promised the man not to bite him if he would get it safely to the other side. The compassionate man picked up the snake, put it inside his jacket and carried it across the road. The man's body heat warmed the snake and the creature bit him. As the man lay dying from the snake's poison, he asked why the snake had broken its promise. The snake only laughed as it slithered away and chided the man, saying 'It's your own fault - you knew what I was when you picked me up.' Be careful, Kel, that's all I'm saying."

* * *

Joren and his four guards arrived at Fort Stonebridge during the midday meal, several hours earlier than Kel had been expecting him to arrive. A messenger hurriedly went to the dining hall to fetch Kel. Meanwhile, Joren waited in a small area outside of Kel's office, glad that he had a private moment to look around and collect his thoughts. As he peeked into Kel's office, Joren remembered that his mother had encouraged him to look for any hints about Kel's current personal life. He quietly slipped into the empty office, hoping to have enough time to snoop around before she arrived.

Joren felt that because of all the 'visits' inside Kel's head when he was still in the Chamber, he understood the first fifteen years of Kel's history and behavior very well. The information his parents had collected about Kel and her family was useful, but the Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan had become quite a woman - a legend even - and Joren knew there _had_ to be some clues as to why Kel was the way she was today. Kel had taken him by surprise during her short time at Stone Mountain, so she was somewhat of a mystery to him now. Joren knew he had to start working on a strategy to win Kel's love, but he knew that he didn't know enough about her to succeed.

Kel's desk was very neat; there were no papers or items of interest cluttering the surface. Her bookcase was neatly organized and her weapons were neatly organized. A highly polished, deadly-looking glaive hung on the wall next to a variety of smaller weapons. Joren wondered if Kel only thought about fighting battles and protecting the weak. Surely she had to have fun diversions, but what could they be? Joren slowly turned around as he surveyed the room. Finally his eyes rested on the framed sketch of the knight Lady Gwyneth of Virelle.

Kel came over from the dining hall as soon as the guard informed her of her guest's arrival. She silently stood in the doorway and quietly watched Joren as he studied the sketch. She had hung the frame on the wall opposite her desk so that she could be inspired whenever she looked from her work. Joren's back was to her so he didn't see Kel looking him over from head to toe. The Lord of Stone Mountain looked very handsome, as always, but Kel could only shake her head at his sneaky ways. Joren jumped when he finally noticed Kel standing there and she sighed inwardly. She made her face pleasantly blank and walked into her office with an air of confidence.

"Her name was Lady Gwyneth of Virelle." explained Kel as she moved to stand next to Joren in front of her desk. "She was a knight of the realm during the first century. Lady Gwyneth actually fought in the Battle of Three Rivers _and_ she raised five children all by herself. Her former lands are now part of the Royal University's campus grounds. She was quite a remarkable Lady." Kel paused for a moment and then looked at Joren, "Oh yes, and welcome to Fort Stonebridge Lord Joren. I offer my apologies for not greeting your party at the gate. We were under the impression that you would arrive much later in the day." _"Sneaky little snake!" _

"Commander Keladry, it's good to see you again," began Joren. "Thank you for inviting me train with you here at Fort Stonebridge. I departed from Stone Mountain a bit earlier than planned." _"After a nasty little fight with Celeste; she will probably leave as soon as the roads are clear. My mother will be pleased - I think she has fallen in love with you herself - she's always blathering on about how great you are,_ lady knight_."_

"Would you care for some refreshments after your journey?" Kel picked up a pitcher and goblet and held them toward him. "I'm sure the cook has enough food left for you if you prefer to have a warm meal." _"If you had arrived when you said you would, we would have had a great meal prepared for you. Now you're just going to have to take what you can get until dinner is served."_

"No, thank you, I had a late breakfast." Joren looked at Kel, and then back at the sketch. "This is a very interesting portrait. Where did you get it?" _"How important is this to you? Will its story unlock any of your secrets?"_

Joren noticed Kel's face darken for a brief second before she said, "A ... a friend gave it to me." _"Dom ... I miss him so much. It's just not right that he is dead and you are alive." _

"A friend?" Joren looked interested, and reached in his pocket. "If _I_ give you something will I be considered your friend, Lady Knight? How about this stone, the one that matches your eyes? It's a start - there's plenty more where that came from." He set the piece of polished marble on the corner of her desk. _"It's a lame start, but I _will _figure out what makes this picture-giving friend so special to you. I can't afford competition for your love - time is too short for that." _

"I ... don't ... know," replied Kel, distracted momentarily by the stone. "_Are_ you my friend, Lord Joren? My friends call me Kel." _"Humph! I don't trust you, friend or not."_

"Friends then, _Kel_. Please call me Joren. I'm still trying to get used to being called 'lord' and all that," Joren tried to sound humble, but didn't really succeed. "Well, when do we start training?" he said, changing the subject. _"Yes, let's get to it. I can barely wait to knock you around the practice yard - it'll be just like the bad old days!"_

"Yes, training, of course," Kel said. "I trust you've been working on your grip?" _"The look on your face when I left Stone Mountain was priceless! My men and I laughed all the way home."_

Joren blinked before he replied, "Yes - and I have my own balls now. You may have yours back. I think the exercises have made a big difference. We'll just have to see out in the practice yard." _"You think you're so clever, but I've got a few clever things for you, too. Just you wait and see!"_

Kel kept her face pleasantly blank and called out, "Sir Aron, would you please come in here now?" _"My new friend and I are ready to begin the games."_

Aron had been in another room, close enough to observe and hear everything that occurred in Kel's office. Kel would ask him for his opinion later, after he soundproofed her office. He had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from smiling about the whole exercise ball conversation. The soldiers who accompanied Kel to Stone Mountain were still telling the story and laughing about how Kel let Joren 'borrow her set of balls'. Aron walked into the office briskly, carrying a sheet of paper with a lot of writing on it.

"Lord Joren of Stone Mountain, this is Sir Aron of Aili," Kel introduced the two men who regarded each other carefully. "Aron is my second-in-command. He has drawn up a schedule of training for you and will be at your disposal for the duration of your stay." _"Here we go. Let's see how this plays out."_

"I am pleased to meet you, sir," Joren said smoothly. "It must be very interesting for you to work for a female commander." _"I wonder - are you her _special_ friend?"_

Aron didn't like Joren's tone at all, but he was not about to take the bait. "Commanders are commanders, sir. By working and training hard, we all succeed here at Fort Stonebridge. Are you ready for a bit of sparring now, or would you prefer to start fresh tomorrow?" _"Kel, what kind of snake have you picked up here?"_

"I think I'm up for a match now," drawled Joren in his familiar superior-sounding voice, "How about it, lady knight?" _"The sooner I get a sense of your abilities, the faster I'll be able to take you down."_

"Oh, not me. Not today," replied Kel. "My quartermaster needs me to go over the supply lists with him one more time before we present them to you. I want you to have full confidence in our plans for the caravan. Sir Aron will be the one you train with the most." _"Down boy! You have to _earn _the right to spar with me. This is _my_ home field and we play by _my_ rules."_

"No offense to Sir Aron here, but I thought I would be training with you, _Kel_," began Joren, almost sounding like he was whining. _"Hey! I'm not some second-year page you can foist off onto someone else! I came here to train with _you _and that's what I intend to do."_

"Well, _Joren_, I am quite busy this week," explained Kel, trying to sound very diplomatic, "So you and I definitely will get together to make the plans for the guard escort, but I don't know if I will be able to squeeze in time to train with you. Aron and I get up _very_ early in the morning to complete my training before most of the fort is awake. I assure you, training with Aron will be just as good as, if not better than, training with me. He's the best." _"As a matter of fact, Aron will probably let you off easier than I ever will."_

"But ..." Joren was going to demand that Kel train with him, but she cut him off. _"Aron, huh? You two get up early, do you? 'Fringe benefits' indeed!"_

"Maybe we can set up a match for later in the week," she quickly said, "I'll see what I can do to make time for you, alright? Again, welcome to Fort Stonebridge." _"Good luck, Aron! Joren looks fit to be tied."_

Kel opened her desk drawer and pulled out a document and left the room in a hurry. She really had no place to go, but it was all part of her grand plan to frustrate Joren into showing his true colors. Kel knew Joren had changed in some ways, but she was sure that deep down inside, he was still a snake. Thinking of Aron's snake story, Kel reminded herself she only intended to pick up the snake, and _not_ put him inside her jacket.

Aron escorted Joren to the armory, where the lord of Stone Mountain received padded training clothes, as well as a training staff, sword, shield and lance. All of his equipment had been outfitted with as much hidden extra weight as Kel felt she could get away with. This would be just a little payback for Joren's tricks from their page days. Kel knew that in the long run, she truly had benefited from the extra weight in all her practice gear, so she figured Joren would do well to train with the extra weight from the start, too.

* * *

After three days of sparing with Aron, Joren was exhausted. He had thought he was making good progress when he trained with his men-at-arms at Stone Mountain, but he realized that training with professional soldiers and officers made a huge difference in the quality of his workouts. Joren was still getting up early to do his version of Kel's morning exercises, but he was not about to get up _before _the crack of dawn to spar against Kel. Aron could have her all to himself at that hour of the day.

All the while, Kel was watching Joren train. She took note of which moves he favored, the way he held his sword, the patterns he followed most often, and his demeanor with his sparring partners. She was surprised at how gracious Joren was with his opponents. The old Joren she remembered would have bossed people around and belittled them if they got in his way. This Joren seemed to have much more control over his temper and even seemed to quickly forgive any accidental hard knocks or body blows.

Finally, on the last day before he was due to return to Stone Mountain, Kel decided to give Joren his match. She and Aron had gone over every detail from every workout and so she felt prepared. Joren had similar strengths and skills to her own, but she still had the advantage over him. Her men, Aron included, had never defeated Kel on the practice yard. Also, she had been training extra hard with Aron both early in the morning and late in the evening, when Joren was nowhere in sight. What Kel didn't know, was that Joren had been watching her, too.

Early on during the week, when Joren had gotten up late at night to use the privy, he heard the faint sounds of clanking swords. He quietly padded to a dark balcony and watched as Kel and Aron sparred. At first he was angry that she made time for sparring with Aron, but not for him. Then he decided to use the observations to his advantage. Joren was mesmerized by the ways Kel moved. She was all a blur of fluid motion with a sword or a glaive. He knew he would have to be at his best to beat her. Joren tucked away every scrap of information he could remember about Kel's fighting style and felt ready when she finally told him she had time for a match against him. He was looking forward to it.

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A/N: I know there's some OOC action in this chapter, but please don't flame me. My story is about 'Redemption', so some things have to change or the story would stand as originally written by TP. I just hope you enjoy my version. Please read and review. Thanks!


	20. Home Field Advantage, Part 2

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: This is the second part of another HUGE chapter. I'm still using italicized font to convey people's thoughts. Thank you for the wonderful reviews!**

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**Home Field Advantage, Part 2**

"Kel, I think it's only fair that I tell you about the wagers that are flying around the barracks." Aron said on the morning Kel's match with Joren.

"I know the men gamble on the outcome of these matches, Aron." Kel replied as she stretched. "Lord Raoul made a lot of money off of my jousts when I was his squire."

"No, Kel," Aron shook his head, "It's not just that. There are some rather _interesting_ side wagers as well."

"Alright then, tell me." said Kel, as she took a deep breath. "I can take it."

"Well, you see, it goes back to the time Sir Dermid was in command here," began Aron, "Several of the older men still remember Joren as a feisty young squire. Dermid had three lovely daughters, all of whom are safely married today. But back then, the girls competed for Joren's attention. The soldiers would bet on how long it would take the squire Joren to bed each of the fair maidens, where it would happen, whether Dermid would find out - you get it, right? His ... um, prowess ... was well known. Now, our soldiers don't mean any disrespect toward you, but Kel - Joren really is a fine-looking man. Perhaps _you_ haven't noticed the way he watches your every move - like a hungry cat waiting to pounce - but the men have seen that look in his eyes. The bets are flying around like snowflakes."

"Great. What are the odds?" Kel knew her face was beet red, but she kept her expression Yamani calm. _"Men! Men and their silly games!"_

"Two-to-one that Joren will bed you before he goes back to Stone Mountain," Aron smiled sheepishly. "That's changed from ten-to-one right before he arrived." Kel winced, but Aron kept talking. "All week long Joren has quietly asked the men if they've ever seen anyone court you in a serious way. He's even asked them how you and I get along - and such. Joren thinks he's being sly, but the men know what he's about. I can see from your expression that you're not happy about this."

_"That ... sneaky ... snooping ... snake!" _Kel swore under her breath. "Alright, so it's two-to-one. I can beat those odds. I say Joren won't succeed - because _Griffin and I_ won't let him get anywhere near my bed. But what do _you_ say, Aron?" And she pulled a silver noble out of her desk drawer.

Now Aron smiled wickedly. "Between you and me ... I say Joren will get as far as your bedroom. Now, don't be mad - I didn't say you'd give in to him - you know better than to do that. But Kel, this man is used to having women fall at his feet. Just because he spent most of his youth trying to fight you instead of bed you, doesn't mean he hasn't noticed that you're an available female."

"I'm certainly not available to _him,_" Kel said stonily. _"Not in a hundred thousand years!"_

"Kel, I know we're all adults here," said Aron carefully, "so if you need me, I'll be in my room tonight, but I'm not going to guard your door unless you ask me to."

"But ... I've never ... _ever_ ... given him any reason to think ..." Kel sputtered, losing her composure for a fraction of a second before resuming her Yamani calm. _"I am stone. I am stone. I am STONE."_

Aron held up his hand to interrupt Kel. "Listen to me, Kel. Everyone here knows the Lord of Stone Mountain has a live-in mistress. He's been away from her all week long - and there are no serving wenches living up here for him to dally with. We men understand one another. I told you, he's the snake, and you're far too compassionate for your own good. Just ... be careful." Then he pulled a silver noble out of his pocket. Kel now had her own wager with Aron. She reluctantly smiled back at him.

* * *

Tlink! Clack! Tlink! Clack! Smack! Tlink! Tlink! Smack! Whap! Tlink! Clack! Clack!

Lunge, turn, slash, turn, twist, block, block, turn, jump, lunge, slash, block.

Kel and Joren had been sparring in the practice yard for almost an hour. Sweat poured off of them and they had taken several water breaks. The soldiers and young officers were amazed at how evenly-matched their commander and the mysterious Lord of Stone Mountain were. They also remarked how good the opponents looked together and how much stamina they each possessed. Lots of knowing glances passed among the entertainment-starved soldiers. Watching Kel and Joren spar was like watching two talented dancers moving around the dance floor in unison. Money changed hands time after time as the mock battle went first one way and then the other.

Kel was not too tired yet, but she wanted to end the match before they started making mistakes. There was no point in injuring herself or Joren over some friendly wagers. She appreciated Joren's discipline and his dedication to getting back into fighting shape. Aron had done a good job of training with Joren. She knew he would be ready to defend against any attacks on their caravan to Corus. They were giving the soldiers a good show of their skills, but the men could not hear the verbal - and mental - sparring that was going on between Kel and Joren.

"Good move! Now try to aim higher than that - I almost cut your hand off!" _"Mithros! You're slacking, not even taking me seriously."_

"Thanks, but I know how to block." _"Just you wait - have I got a surprise for you!"_

"It's a good thing this is just a practice sword." _"Come on! Come on! Fight me already - this dancing around is just a waste of our time!"_

"Yes, but have you noticed how strong my grip is now?" _"Wench! I know your men still laugh about that!"_

Slash, turn, twist, block, block, turn...

"Aron told me you're improvement is remarkable. What do you think helped you the most?" _"That's better. Do you think you'll come back for more?"_

"I think all the extra weight in my gear really helped me this week. That was very clever of you. Did you think of it yourself?" _"Guess what? I discovered your little 'additions' - it wasn't too hard to figure out that you'd use my own tricks against me."_

"Oh, no, I trained with weighted practice weapons all during my page years. Remember? I believe that was _your_ idea." _"Payback is a ..."_

Kel was just about to use one of her signature moves, something that Raoul had taught her when she was his squire, when she felt her feet swept out from under her. Instinctively, she rolled to the side in another movement that Raoul had taught her, but Joren stayed on her, anticipating her every move. Kel didn't understand. She rarely used those moves in training; they were moves she usually saved for actual battles because they were so unexpected. But somehow, Joren knew what she was going to do, and he quickly countered her moves. Too quickly. The moves he used against her were special ones that only she and Raoul and the men of Third Company had worked on. How could Joren know about those moves?

Joren was feeling very confident, but he also was starting to get tired. He knew that Kel would pull out one of her special maneuvers to defeat him, but he had spent a lot of time meditating over his memories of how Kel fought when she was a squire. He figured that she might just save those moves for times such as these and he was correct. Joren was able to sweep Kel's feet from under her and then he knew which way she would roll. They engaged in the mock combat for several minutes more until their swords were locked hilt to hilt.

Joren and Kel strained against each other as their chests heaved with the effort of breathing. They stood sideways to each other, with their sword arms touching, but they still could see each other's eyes. Kel was about to say something witty, when Joren did something completely unexpected. He winked at Kel and gave her one of his most dazzling smiles. Kel was used to Joren's cold smiles, the ones that never really reached his eyes. _This_ smile was the kind Joren gave out when he was in full flirtation mode - it usually got him whatever he wanted. Kel blinked, stunned for a brief moment. That moment was enough time to allow Joren to disengage and then spring backward, barely a few inches away from the tip of her practice blade, and then both of them were on guard again.

"What was _that_? How did you know about those tumbling moves?" Kel asked through clenched teeth, as she circled him, fighting hard to regain her composure. _"You must have been spying on me. But how...? There's no way ..."_

"Oh, those are just some different techniques and positions I picked up from ... somewhere." Joren replied, still grinning, his voice now a seductive purr. _"At least I learned something useful from my time in the Chamber - and inside your head."_

Tlink! Clack! Smack! Tlink!

They continued to fight with both swords and words.

"Look, I appreciate different techniques and positions as much as anyone else, but that ... that was uncalled for," Kel protested, trying hard to hold on to her calm. "You know you wouldn't do that if I were a _male_ opponent." _"How _dare _you flirt with me during a match? And how do you know my secret moves, you sneaky snake!"_

"That would depend on the male," Joren nodded his head toward Aron, clearly referring to Aron's preferences. "Don't you remember what the Shang masters used to tell us? _Anything_ can be a diversion. Keep your opponent on his - or her - toes. I'm merely keeping you on your toes, my friend, but I can create a _diversion_ to sweep you off of your toes, if you wish to yield to me now." Joren winked at Kel again just to see her face turn redder. _"Mithros! I can feel the anger behind your mask. We just need to redirect all that passion into a more useful pastime activity."_

Lunge, turn, block, block, twist, block, turn...

"Not on your life!" Kel fought against her own anger as much as she fought against Joren. _"Arrogant ... over bred ... ill-mannered ..."_ She thought of a new adjective with every move.

Kel wanted to wipe that self-assured smile off of Joren's face, but she also knew she shouldn't fight when she was angry - so she made herself calm down a bit. They fought hard for a while longer, but then they locked swords again; neither one of them could gain the advantage. Finally, as much as Kel hated to do it, she asked Joren if he would agree to a draw. Joren nodded and the two opponents sprung apart at the same time. They bowed to one another, saluting each other with their swords, and then they bowed to the assembled crowd.

"I think we're ready to take on any bandits that come at us between here and Corus." panted Joren. _"Gods almighty! That was exciting! But now I've got all this leftover energy ..."_

"I agree," said Kel through her own ragged breaths, as Aron came over to them and collected their swords. _"But for now, you'd better stay out of my way."_

After Joren and Kel clasped forearms to signal the end of their tied match, everyone left the practice yard to get cleaned up. Cheers and groans went up all around and Kel knew that a lot of coins would be changing hands tonight. She did _not_ want to know the final details. Joren walked to the bath house and thought that if the match had gone on any longer, he just might have defeated Kel by doing something more drastic - like kissing her. He tucked that thought away in the back of his mind for later. If her stunned reaction to his blatant flirting was any indication, Joren was sure that Kel felt the jolt of energy pass between them when he winked at her. He also suspected that he and the lady knight looked good together while they sparred. Who would have guessed that the Great Mother Goddess would have chosen such a good match for him? Joren swaggered away, confident that Kel soon would be his - she had to be, because he now believed that her love truly was the key to his survival.

* * *

Later that evening, when Kel came into her bedroom after her bath, she was not surprised to find Joren waiting there, blatantly preparing to go to bed with her. She was just aggravated by his audacity, and by the fact that he looked so pleased with himself. Even though Kel was wearing her sleeping shirt and loose breeches, she felt very exposed. Joren's shirt was hanging over her chair and he had turned back the covers on her bed. He looked fresh from his own bath. His damp hair was pulled back into its usual horsetail and his cheeks looked rosy from the warmth of the hearth. She noticed that the hair covering his well-muscled torso was slightly darker than the hair on his head. Kel felt her face burn with embarrassment and indignation as Joren's seductive smile and raised eyebrow indicated that he had noticed her looking him over.

There had been other men who thought they could bed Tortall's unmarried lady knight so that they would be able to brag about it to their friends. It never ceased to amaze Kel that the men who claimed to dislike her - and everything about her choice of a career - often were the same ones she had to outmaneuver so they couldn't catch her alone. She and Dom had been extremely discreet, but she knew there were men like Joren who just could not imagine any female refusing their advances. Kel made herself think of every smooth surface of water she could remember, before she opened her mouth to speak.

"Tell me, Joren," Kel said evenly, "Just _what_ do you think you're doing?" _"Mithros! Aron warned me - but this is ... what a pompous ... snake!"_

"Kel, my _friend_," Joren drawled, "That was a great show we gave the soldiers today. Too bad we had to call it a tie - I had just figured out a way to defeat you. I'll have to save it for one of our future matches - that is, assuming you'll let me train with you again. We looked good out there together." He paused and then moved closer to Kel. "During the match you asked me how I know what I know. It seemed to me that you would _welcome_ my willingness to share my experiences with different techniques and positions ..." _"Just let down your defenses, little Miss Yamani face. Don't try to play stupid with me - I can see your pregnancy charm dangling there between your..."_

"I think there's been a misunderstanding," interrupted Kel, crossing her arms over her chest. "I was talking about different _fighting_ techniques and positions. This is _not_ what I meant. I think you had better leave my room now." _"Goddess! It's not fair that he can just stand there and look so ... so ... I am going to _pound _Aron!"_

Joren was stunned. Never in his entire life had any woman ever refused his advances. If anything, _he_ was usually the one who had to refuse their advances. Joren quickly reviewed in his mind what he thought he knew from all his 'visits' with Kel, as well as what he had seen over the past few days. He knew that Kel had had crushes on men before, so he knew she liked men. He knew that she idolized Alanna the Lioness, who was married and had children. He knew she was friends with that animal/woman, Daine, who _lived with_ the King's mage, Numair Salmalin, long before they were married. Lastly, Joren knew that Kel wore a pregnancy charm, which to him signified that she was ready, willing and able to accept a man. At least, that's what he knew from the other women he had been with over the years. So, what was Kel's problem tonight? Surely, it wasn't him. _"How can she refuse _me_? Doesn't she know how many women would kill each other for a chance like this?"_

"Joren, my _friend_," Kel began smoothly, her face Yamani calm; "I suppose I should be flattered by your intentions, but I'm not. Now, I am going back to my office to write up a request for a different lock on my door. When I return, I hope you will have found your way back to your own room." _"Or else I will have to beat you into a bloody pulp, you presumptuous pig!"_

Kel remembered when she was under Alanna's command, the two women shared many conversations about men and the way many men behaved around ladies. Alanna told Kel that she grew up listening to, and in some instances witnessing, the bawdy house adventures and tales of conquest from her fellow knights - yes, even Raoul. Kel had blushed at some of the stories Alanna told her. It seemed that some men thought every woman should just swoon over their maleness. Alanna even laughed about some of the men who had tried to make advances on her, but she became very somber to give Kel some practical advice.

Alanna's Gift and her Goddess charm's warnings had saved her from many a knock-out potion and other concoctions designed to make women lose their inhibitions, but she soberly warned Kel to always wear her pregnancy charm because Kel didn't have the same advantages. When Kel proclaimed she would just beat up any man who tried to have his way with her against her will, Alanna warned her again that there was always the chance that a man, or a group of men, could overpower her when she least expected. Kel had always heeded that warning, even though she felt fairly confident that she could defend herself against any attackers. Right now, Kel was absolutely sure she could defeat the half-naked Joren who was still standing there in stunned silence, not believing that a woman was actually throwing him out of her room.

"Joren, _please_," Kel said and she flung his shirt at him. She grabbed a pair of her boots and put them on. "Let's not make a scene here. You'll be back in your own lovely bed tomorrow night, where someone probably is waiting for you. And I'm sure that you will have plenty of opportunities for _diversions_ while we are in Corus. Right now, I'm tired. We can finalize our plans for the big trip in the morning before you leave. I do hope you sleep well tonight." _"And alone, you asinine fool! I am stone. I am stone. I am STONE!"_

Kel stomped back into her office to find Aron there, laughing and shaking his head. She just glared at him, annoyed that he had been right. She reached into her desk drawer, pulled out the silver noble and placed it in Aron's outstretched palm.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed it! Please read and review. Thanks!


	21. To Corus

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: My last few chapters were whopper ones, but this one is kind of a long transition/filler. Thanks again for the great reviews!**

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To Corus

Joren searched the horizon in every direction. The journey to Corus was taking much longer than it normally would have, in part because the weight of the silver ore and the blocks of cut stone slowed the pace of the pack animals. Three different gangs of bandits attacked the caravan, each one on a different day. Kel, Joren and all their soldiers and men-at-arms fiercely defended their valuable cargo. One wagon was burned to the ground during the second bandit attack, but it carried stone which was easily redistributed among the other wagons. Many of the would-be robbers were killed and several others were now prisoners who marched behind the caravan. None of the escaped bandits seemed to be regrouping for another attack, but Joren stayed alert to any movement as he nudged his horse along the windswept road.

When they began their journey, Joren was still brooding over Kel's refusal of his advances, but Kel seemed to have moved on. Although their soldiers enjoyed talking about the match and sharing advice on how either of them could defeat the other in a rematch, Kel declined to discuss it and she never mentioned the events of that night. In fact, Kel was merely cool and professional toward Joren. Her Yamani mask was firmly in place, and nothing Joren said or did would move it.

Joren smiled at the memory of Kel in action. She fought with skillful grace and deadly accuracy and her focus never seemed to waver from the battle at hand. Several times, Joren found himself fighting back-to-back with Kel, each of them defending the other while they helped protect the wagons. Joren finally saw what so many others had seen - Keladry of Mindelan was a natural-born knight. In the heat of their final battle against an unorganized mob of almost twenty bandits, he witnessed her cut down a big hulk of a man who came at her with a mace. Joren made eye contact with Kel, and she gave him a tiny smile of victory. He returned her smile and noticed the little flecks of the blood of their foes splattered across her face and armor. In that moment Joren started to fall in love with Kel - just a little.

By the time they reached the city limits of Corus, Joren had been through enough fighting to know that his skills were back to normal. Actually, his abilities were better than when he went into the Chamber, thanks to all the additional training he was getting. It was good to know that he could defend himself if the need arose. Joren and Kel delivered their prisoners to the royal officials and then they delivered all the bounty from their mountains to the bankers and merchants. After they filed their official reports, Joren and Kel went their separate ways.

Kel was staying in a room at the palace for only a few days before she and her soldiers returned to the fort. Joren had planned a two-week stay at his family's townhouse in the Palace District of the city of Corus. He was required to appear before the King and pledge his loyalty to the realm. He needed to acquaint himself with all the business aspects of his family's vast holdings. He also knew he had to get to work making amends for all his youthful foolishness. Joren knew his time was slipping away.

* * *

"Kel! You made it!" A voice shouted from across the courtyard. Neal rushed over to Kel and gave her a bone-crushing hug, but then he had to back up so that Peachblossom couldn't nip at his arm. The two friends laughed as Neal escorted Kel and her soldiers to the stables. On the way there, Kel saw many familiar faces and greeted everyone she knew. Raoul and Third Company of the King's Own were away on a mission, so Kel and Neal visited with Stefan and Tobe. While Kel finished grooming Peachblossom and Hoshi, she told them all about her match with Joren. Kel wanted them to hear her version first, because she knew her soldiers would add their own embellishments to the story as they spread it around the barracks.

"I can't believe you fought to a tie, Lady Kel! Is this Joren fella really that good?" Tobe asked, worry creasing his brow.

Kel nodded. "We both fought hard, but Joren seemed to know which moves I was going to make - it was almost as if he could read my mind. I'm still not sure what to make of it, but it doesn't really matter. All of his skills came in handy during our journey here. I'll gladly accept Joren's sword arm on any mission - he _is_ that good."

"Uh-oh, Kel," Neal looked at Kel with wide eyes, "Did I just hear you correctly? Were you actually _complimenting _the infamously evil Joren? Has the world come to an end and no one informed me?"

"Neal!" protested Kel. "You know how good Joren was at combat skills when we were young. I think he's an excellent fighter - even if he is a snake when he's off of the battlefield."

"Hmm, I know there's more to that comment than you're probably going to give me, but I feel a little better since you called Joren a snake." Neal smiled.

The two friends laughed and caught up on each other's news as they walked back to the palace. Neal told Kel all the palace gossip and made her promise to come to dinner with him and Yuki and their daughter. Kel told Neal all about the earthquake and the rescue and clean-up efforts, as well as Joren's training episodes, but she left out the part about the bedroom incident. Then Kel excused herself to bathe and get ready for dinner.

After a fun-filled evening, dining with friends and catching up an all the news, Kel dreamed the bad dream again. In this version of the dream, she was canoodling with Dom when suddenly he transformed into the wickedly flirtatious Joren. To her horror, Kel couldn't stop herself from continuing on with him - and enjoying the experience. She woke up covered with sweat and had to change out of her night shirt. Kel knew she wouldn't be going back to sleep, so she started her exercise routine a bit early. The dream tormented her again on the second night.

Neal had grudgingly offered to train with Kel, as long as she took it easy on his "poor old bones" and so he noticed right away that Kel looked extremely tired. When he asked her about it, she just waved him off and attributed her fatigue to all the time on the road and sleeping on a bed that was too hard. Kel worked out her frustrations by tilting against the quintain dummy. Word got around that the lady knight was out in the practice yard, and people started to place bets on how many consecutive times Kel could spear the willow ring. After her twelfth successful run, Kel decided to call it a day and headed to the ladies' bath house. As she was soaking in the relaxing warm water, she couldn't help but overhear some ladies of the court, who were changing into their clean clothes and gossiping about something that had happened in town.

"Did you see that _man_ in the dress shop today?"

"How could I not see him? He looked yummy - those gorgeous blue eyes and that hair! I would die for hair like his! Do you know who he is? Why was he there?"

"I _wish_ I knew him. I heard him place an order for _three _different dresses! He had all the measurements with him. Can you imagine? He asked for one dress to be made for one lady, another dress for a lady with different measurements, and one that he asked the seamstress to invent herself!"

"Three dresses! Nobody except the queen orders three dresses at a time from Lalasa Isran. She's the best. That man must be very rich!"

"Obviously! My guess is that the first two dresses are for his wife and his mistress, and the last dress is for someone he's getting ready to woo. Those lucky ladies!"

"I don't know about that. Did you see the way Mistress Lalasa backed away from the man when he first came into her shop? Tian had to support her. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but he put a big bag of coins right on Lalasa's countertop. When she looked into it, her face turned whiter than it already had been."

"All I know is that if I had ..." and the voices drifted away from Kel's hearing. She chided herself for being such an eavesdropper. Hadn't she learned her lesson from when she overheard her sisters-in-law gossiping? Kel shook her head to get rid of the image in her mind that the man in Lalasa's dress shop was Joren. The mystery man could have been anybody, she told herself. She made a mental note to visit her former maid before she returned to Stonebridge. Lalasa was still a good friend, and Kel felt bad that she hadn't warned her about Joren's miraculous reappearance.

* * *

Joren was very busy during his time in Corus. First, he met with Ebroin of Genlith, his family's steward for all their Corus holdings. Joren shocked the old man by apologizing for his behavior so long ago during his trial. Joren also inquired about Ebroin's nephew, Vinson. Ebroin told him that Vinson attempted to commit suicide while he was in prison, but the guards saved him. Unfortunately, ever since he had been released from jail, the young man was sickly and bedridden at his parents' townhouse near the university. Joren visited his old friend and came away disheartened. Vinson truly was just a shell of a man. He only nodded when Joren expressed his concern for him. The only word Vinson said was "Sorry." After that sad visit, Joren decided to write letters to other people he had offended or disappointed during his younger days. He knew he would see Lord Wyldon before his appointment with the King, but Joren hoped the Chamber and the gods would see the letters of apology as acceptable forms of making amends.

Joren decided to make amends with Lalasa in a more tangible way. His mother had informed him of the successful business of Kel's former maid. All the ladies of the court knew of Lalasa Isran's handiwork, and every woman wanted a dress made by the primary dressmaker to the Queen. At first, the seamstress would not speak to him. She made the sign against evil several times and another woman came out to assist her. When Joren assured her that he was neither a ghost nor an evil sorcerer, but that he wanted to be a paying customer, the other woman got Lalasa to calm down. Lalasa was especially surprised by one of his requests. Joren placed his orders and left a bag of gold nobles, which would cover the cost of the dresses more than five times over. Lalasa accepted his apology along with the money, thanked him for his business, and assured him that she would have the dresses ready in time for his return to Stone Mountain.

At the end of the first week, Joren met with Numair Salmalin, Duke Baird and Lord Wyldon. It was similar to taking the big exams all over again. The academic aspect was handled by Numair, who basically tested Joren's understanding of geology. The new Lord of Stone Mountain would need to put his knowledge of his land to good use in the near future. The Master Mage explained that there probably would be more earthquakes, sooner rather than later. King Jonathan, through his magical connection with all the land, felt a deep crack form in the land near Stone Mountain and Fort Stonebridge after the earthquake. Scholars and mages from the royal university would be traveling to the mountains to study the crack closely. They would need to work with the Lord of Stone Mountain to help prepare the people who lived in that area for anything from a slight tremor to a major temblor. Joren agreed to support the scholars and mages with their efforts.

Duke Baird thoroughly examined Joren to determine if there were any lingering physical or mental effects from his Deep Sleep. The healer was amazed by Joren's physical well-being and asked the young man if he knew how his body had maintained its health while he slept. Like any other knight, Joren could not break the silence of his Ordeal by explaining what happened to him while he was in the Chamber. He could not reveal that there were conditions for him to fulfill if he wanted to continue to live. Joren could say only that he was surprised to find that seven years had passed while the Chamber held on to him. Overall, Duke Baird agreed that Joren was mentally ready and physically fit to perform his duties to the realm.

Lord Wyldon took Joren out to one of the smaller practice yards and tested his fighting skills with the sword, the staff and the lance. He also engaged him in a bit of unarmed combat. Wyldon was impressed with Joren's abilities and shocked when Joren admitted that he had been training with Kel and her soldiers at Fort Stonebridge. Joren further surprised his former training master by apologizing for his deplorable behavior as a page and squire. When Joren solemnly promised to adhere to the Code of Chivalry, Lord Wyldon saw in him the young man with so much potential who came to the palace so long ago. It almost brought a tear to the old Stump's eye.

Finally, near the end of the second week, in a small, private ceremony, King Jonathan formally knighted Joren, Lord of Stone Mountain. The King did not want there to be a fuss over the implications of the Chamber holding on to Joren for seven years. It was enough that the new knight and lord seemed to be in better shape after having missed out on a good chunk of his life. The King wished Joren well in his 'new' life and gave him the charge to continue to perform his duties faithfully and responsibly. Joren was relieved that no one challenged his right to be a knight of the realm, and made preparations to return to his home.

* * *

On the night before Joren was to depart for Stone Mountain, he felt compelled to go to the chapel of the Chamber of the Ordeal. He recoiled at the sight of the door to the Chamber, but he couldn't stop himself from placing his hand on the cold metal. Joren felt a jolt of recognition as the Chamber spoke inside his mind.

_"You have made a good start, Lord Joren of Stone Mountain. You still have much to do. Keep in mind that you may ask for forgiveness, but you might not receive it. One person's most desired dream may be another person's most feared nightmare. Every mortal must answer for his or her own deeds. Do what _you _must do. Your time is short."_

Then the Chamber released him and he fell to the stone floor with a thud. Joren gulped in deep breaths of air and fought to calm his rapidly beating heart. He scrambled to his feet and hastily returned to his townhouse. That night, jumbled dreams of the sickly Vinson and the frightened Lalasa and earthquakes and tadpoles with strange colored eyes tormented his sleep. A very tired Joren pondered the Chamber's words as he made his way back to Stone Mountain.

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A/N: Okay,

_**now**_** I can move on to the more fluffy stuff. Are you ready? Please R & R. Thanks!**


	22. Dreams

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: Remember that 'T' rating? You should **_**not**_** let your little sister read this chapter over your shoulder. Thanks!**

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**_"One drop is enough to enable lovers to go on for a long time," instructed the ancient woman, with a sly, toothless smile. "Two drops helps lovers to see each other in the best light, no matter how repulsive they actually may be. Three drops and the lovers see the lover they most want to be with at that time. The illusion only lasts for twelve bells worth of time, so you must plan carefully. Do you understand, my lady?"_

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**Dreams **

On the afternoon of the spring equinox, Lady Virryn hosted a banquet to celebrate the official announcement of Joren becoming a knight of the realm. It was not well-attended, but she had not expected many people to come anyway. As winter gave way to spring, heavy rains flooded the rivers and streams, making travel difficult. The roads leading to Stone Mountain were challenging enough in good weather. Most of the invitees sent their congratulations, but they politely declined to attend the celebration. Lady Virryn understood and did not bear any ill will toward her far-flung neighbors. As far as she was concerned, only one guest truly mattered, and that was the lady knight, seated to her left. Lady Virryn had chosen her moment carefully, and was now waiting for her plans to go into action.

Gusty winds had blown away most of the rain clouds and the evening air smelled fresh and clean. Kel walked to the edge of a gravel path. She needed to get some air. Of the few guests who did attend the banquet, Kel only knew Sir Alwin and Lady Celeste and she did not wish to join their conversation about the fine wines available in Tortall. Celeste was blathering on about wines imported from Maren and her brother Alwin was praising recent vintages from the House of Masbolle. Kel knew that Dom's brothers were well-known throughout the land for producing the best Tortallan wines, but hearing Dom's family name only made her sad. As soon as the meal was over, Kel excused herself to go outside.

Joren sat at his place at the opposite end of the table from his mother and Kel. All through the meal he tried not to let his dark mood break through his pleasant facade. He was tired of playing the gracious host to such boorish and stuffy people. It didn't help his mood that the Lady Celeste had declined to share his bed during this visit. While she gladly accepted his gift of a lovely gown from the famous dressmaker Lalasa Isran, she complained that he had been too rough with her during their last tryst. Joren was nearly bursting with pent-up energy and now he felt the wine going to his head. The sooner his guests went away, the better.

Lady Celeste's eyes tightened with jealousy as she slyly watched Joren watching Kel. She knew she was being silly about Joren, but she also knew that Joren's interest in the lady knight was different than it had been. Maybe it had something to do with the beautiful polished stone necklace Lady Virryn had given to Kel in appreciation for the successful delivery of all their new stone to Corus. Celeste thought the tiny stones looked alright against the other woman's sun-tanned skin, but she knew it wouldn't look right against her own milky-white neck. She also knew there was no real competition between her and the lady knight; after all, she was a refined, convent-trained noble lady, whereas Kel was practically ... a man. Celeste giggled at the thought of Joren liking a man, and then continued her argument with her brother, until someone knocked over a goblet of wine which spilled onto her new dress.

Joren didn't see what happened - he was still thinking about how quickly Kel had excused herself from the table and he wished he could do the same. Instead, he was stuck playing nice with all the boring people. Suddenly, Celeste was on her feet, dabbing at a wine stain on her dress. For a moment, Joren thought about how much that dress had cost him, but then he dismissed it from his mind. He had more money than he could ever hope to spend, so it really didn't matter about the dress, except that now Celeste was making a scene and ran crying from the room. His mother gave him an interesting glance, but nodded her head for him to go out after the distraught woman. By the time Joren bid farewell to all his guests, Celeste had disappeared. The hallway was empty, but the door to the outside was open.

* * *

Joren walked along the dirt path that led to his favorite grassy hilltop. He knew he would find Celeste there, because she enjoyed the privacy and peacefulness of the place, too. He crunched his boots into the gravel so that she would not be startled by his presence. His felt a familiar tightening below his midsection as he watched the wind whipping her hair all around her head. Her arms were folded across her chest to keep herself warm while the wind pulled at her skirts. He could feel the tension in her tight shoulder and neck muscles when he reached out to gently massage them. She relaxed into him, still looking out over the valley toward the setting sun. The scent of her hair and the warmth of her skin were more intoxicating to him than the wine had been. Slowly, Joren leaned in to nuzzle the area of her neck just under her ear. He knew he had to convince her to go back into the castle; the gusting winds would only become fiercer with the darkness. "Please come back inside. You know the wind only get worse after the sun goes down," he whispered to her and then thought to add, "I promise ... I won't harm you." She turned in his arms to face him and kissed him warmly on his lips. He smiled at her eagerness and quickly led her back to her room.

It was the most physically intense experience Joren had ever had with Celeste, or any other woman for that matter. Celeste let him do things they had never done before and Joren marveled at her strength and stamina. Yesterday she had declared that she would not let him 'abuse' her ever again, but here she was this evening - matching his ardor and coming back for more. Joren started to wonder where his own stamina had come from. He knew he should be worn out, but he just couldn't get enough of Celeste tonight. It was a long time before either of them slept, wrapped peacefully in each others arms. Near dawn, Joren woke up with a pounding headache. He didn't want to disturb Celeste, so he quietly slipped out of her room and went back to his own room to try to sleep some more.

* * *

Kel woke up from a dream so marvelous that she had tears in her eyes when she opened them. Dom had come back for her. In her dream, he found her watching the sunset and led her back to her room. They kissed and hugged and did things with each other they had never done before. The intensity of Dom's passion almost scared Kel, but since she knew it was just a fantastic dream, she let all her inhibitions run wild. Dom's sweet kisses and passionate caresses had always thrilled Kel, but this dream-Dom's kisses and caresses were electrifying and explosive. It was the most physically intense experience Kel had ever had with Dom, but it was only a dream. Now that she was awake and knew that Dom was gone, Kel let the tears silently stream down her face.

When Kel finally made herself get out of bed and start her exercises, she noticed two very strange things. First of all, she was still wearing the necklace that Lady Virryn had given her. Its polished stones had been cut to the shape and size of pearls - each one matching the color of Kel's hazel eyes. The stone necklace had become entangled with the delicate chain that held her pregnancy charm. Secondly, she was not wearing a stitch of clothing. Kel figured that she must have wriggled out of her night shirt sometime during her night of wild dreaming, but she couldn't find it anywhere amongst the bed sheets. There were only her dress and undergarments from the previous evening, all carelessly tossed on the floor.

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**A/N: Please let me know if you liked this chapter. If so, then I'll write more fluff. Thanks for the reviews!**


	23. Snake Pit

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: Originally, this was part of the previous chapter, but I had to work with it a little more. Everyone seemed to like the fluff from the last chapter, so I'm sorry that this is another transition chapter. Plot does matter! I promise more fluff next time. Thanks again for the great reviews!**

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Snake Pit

Joren nervously ran his hands through his loose hair. Moments ago, everything in his world was fine. He had slept until midday and his headache was gone. Of all his guests, most of whom had also slept late, only Lady Keladry had departed. Joren had known that the _commander_ would return to the fort as soon as possible. When he finally got up, Joren planned to surprise Lady Celeste with a late 'brunch-in-bed' tray, but when he entered her room, everything looked neat and tidy - as though no one had slept there recently. When he asked his mother if Sir Alwin and Celeste had departed early, she told him no. Now Joren was confused and he really didn't like the way the hair on the back of his neck was standing up.

"But, Mother, isn't the second room on the left the one that Lady Celeste has been staying in?" Joren had asked. _"I _know _that's the room I came out of this morning."_

"Yes, Lady Celeste did stay there when she was visiting after the earthquake," said Lady Virryn in a casual tone. "However, this time she asked to stay in a room closer to where her brother's room was, especially since we were expecting so many other guests. I believe Lady Keladry stayed in the room to which you are referring. Of course, _she_ was up with the dawn and gone after breakfast. We had a lovely conversation before she departed."

"Lady Keladry stayed in that room?" asked Joren as the color drained from his face. "The second room on the left? The room that's empty now?" _"Kel ... stayed ... there ... in that room?"_

"Yes, Joren." replied Virryn firmly. "Why do you ask? Is there something wrong? I thought the maid already cleaned that room."

"I was sure that ... I thought that ..." Joren continued to comb his fingers through his hair absentmindedly. "I have to check on something." And he hurried down the long hallway until he saw Sir Alwin sitting in a chair reading over some notes.

"Good day, Alwin," Joren tried to sound calm. "Is your sister up and about?" _"Please, please, please ..."_

"Hello, Joren," Alwin looked up. "I believe she is packing up her things. We'll be heading back to Jennsmont later this afternoon. Celeste was rather upset that you never came to console her after the incident with the spilled wine. Frankly, I told her to grow up and realize that you have to seek greener pastures than hers." And he winked at Joren knowingly.

Joren was appalled that Celeste's brother could refer to her so crudely, but then he realized that he hadn't been the best example of polite chivalry toward his friend's widow either. He knew he had used Celeste before, but now he thought that they had just experienced the most wonderful night of his life together. Joren wanted Celeste to know that he would always cherish the memory of it. He couldn't bear to let her go completely if they had the potential to have such amazing intimacy. Joren was more confused than ever.

"Is everything alright with Celeste now?" Joren spoke slowly. "Is she in her room?" _"This can't be happening! Why isn't she in that _other_ room?"_

"Sure, she'll probably speak civilly to you now," Alwin gestured his head toward the next door down the hallway.

"Good morning, Celeste. How are you today?" greeted Joren as he poked his head inside the doorway. "Did you ... sleep well last night?" _"Do you remember ... wasn't that you ... please tell me ...?"_

"I'm fine," Celeste's voice was polite, yet distant. "Thank you for asking, but since you asked, it was rather _chilly_ in my room last night. I waited for you, though I suppose you took my declaration seriously. After all, I _did_ tell you not to expect anything more from me."

"I ... uh ..." mumbled Joren, until Celeste held up her hand to stop him. _"Oh gods! Oh no, no, no ..."_

"Joren, we've had fun haven't we?" she began, looking at him without any spark of passion. "I think it is best that we part as _friends_, don't you? Thank you for the lovely gown - I'm so glad the maid was able to remove that wine stain. I do hope you find what you're looking for, but if you don't ... well ... Jennsmont is not too far away." She shrugged casually and returned to packing her things.

Joren could only nod his head as he began to realize that Celeste had just dismissed him. There was no way that she would have waved him off without mentioning last night's activities unless ... unless _she_ hadn't been involved. And if Celeste was _not_ the incredibly passionate woman with whom Joren had spent the most exciting night of his life, then who...? _"No, no, no ... that's impossible!"_

Lady Virryn looked up from her knitting to see her son standing in the doorway. He was panting from having run up and down the hallway, checking different rooms and greeting the lingering guests. She smiled a wry smile, knowing that Joren was a smart boy and that he would soon understand at least part of what happened last night. She waited patiently as Joren slowly came into the room and closed the door behind him. When he stood directly in front of her, Virryn put her knitting aside and looked into Joren's haunted eyes.

"Mother, do you know something that I don't know? What's going on here?" asked Joren warily, as Lady Virryn sat smugly in her big comfortable chair. _"I know you've done something - I can see it in your eyes. I just can't imagine ... what?"_

"_I_ have insured the future of Stone Mountain," she replied calmly. "After all my years of faithful devotion, the Great Mother Goddess is finally answering my prayers. She allowed me to see you awake and well again. You are a full knight and you have taken your father's place as Lord of Stone Mountain. And now, I will live to see your heir. The Goddess had assured me of that."

"What do you mean by that? What are you talking about?" Joren was trying to make sense of what his mother had just told him. _"Mithros! What has she done?"_

Lady Virryn reached into her pocket and pulled out the little green glass vial. She held it up in front of her face and saw that it was still over half filled. A slow smile spread across her face. Watery pale blue eyes locked on to bright sky blue eyes.

"I trust you had a _splendid_ time last night. The crone told me you would - and Lady Keladry, too, I imagine - although there's no telling who she thought she was with." Virryn began to explain to Joren about the potion and how it worked, as well as how she had acquired it. Then Joren's mother scolded her son for wasting so much time dallying with the barren Lady Celeste. Virryn admitted that while Keladry of Mindelan's 'pedigree' would never have satisfied Joren's father, _she_ deemed the lady knight not only worthy, but highly desirable as a bearer of future Stone Mountain heirs. Finally, she explained to him how she had received the stone necklace from the high priestess at the temple of the Goddess. She knew it came from the Goddess herself because of the perfection of each tiny stone.

"The priestess said that there was a powerful spell embedded in the stones. As long as the wearer has it around her neck, no pregnancy charm in the world can do its work." Virryn's smile became wistful and her eyes unfocused as though she was having a vision. "So now the Goddess has given me every advantage I could hope for in this stage of my life. Joren, I couldn't give you brothers, but I will make sure that you have sons."

Joren stood there, dumbfounded. His mind couldn't even form words to ask a coherent question. So many thoughts were bouncing around inside his head; all he could do was to plop down in the chair across from his mother. Virryn gently patted her son's hand and watched his face as he processed all the information she had just given to him. Suddenly Joren withdrew his hand as though he had touched fire.

"Mithros, Mother! What have you done? You ... you should have told me!" he exclaimed. "I could have ... I would have ..." _"What does this mean? Did Kel and I...? Oh no, NO, that can't be what happened!"_

"What, Joren?" interrupted Virryn, a hard edge seeping into her voice. "You could have stopped romancing your mistress? I know the gifts you've given to her - the latest one being that _dress_ she wore last night, just like the dress you gave to me." She laughed bitterly. "You're so much like your father. He would bring me marvelous gifts, too. And then I found out that his mistresses received the same or similar gifts at the same time. I know it's my fault for turning a blind eye and indulging the both of you. I kept hoping and praying that all the running around might eventually produce at least a bastard. But now, the Goddess wants me to rely on her benevolence, so we will follow _her_ instructions and rebuild the Stone Mountain line. Who knows? With Lady Keladry's strengths and your own _good_ traits, we may yet provide the realm with great warriors far into the future."

Joren sat there with his mouth open and his face a deep red. Again, he was speechless. He could not believe that his refined and _frail_ mother was talking about him and Kel as though he was a stud horse and Kel was a brood mare. Joren never would have suspected his mother of such conniving and trickery. He never before realized the longing in her soul for heirs for Stone Mountain. But then he remembered back to one of his very early 'visits' when he was in the Chamber. He _had_ experienced his mother's longings - painfully. Joren _had_ felt how much she wanted more children. His mother's actions now should not shock him, but he felt as if he had been pole-axed anyway. No child wants to think about his parents knowing the details of his intimate life.

"Mother, I ... I don't know what to think about all this," Joren admitted. _"Oh gods! What do I do now?"_

"Well, Joren, the beauty of this plan is that you really don't have to think much about anything at all," explained Virryn. "I want you to continue to train with the lady knight. Spend time with her at the fort. Be nice to her. See if she begins to respond to you in any way. I will invite Lady Keladry here for another visit, and she must wear the stone necklace again. It will be up to you if you would prefer to have your illusion, or if you'd rather start learning to love her for yourself. She really is a fascinating young woman and I am growing rather fond of her. But I do think it will be best if we dose her drink, though. I understand she threw you out of her bedroom when you were training at the fort, so we'll just have to give her time to get used to you. Yes, it will be better for Lady Keladry to enjoy her illusions while she can."

Now Joren's face showed his complete dismay.

"Don't look at me like that!" Lady Virryn snapped. "You should appreciate what I've done and what I'll _continue_ doing. If I let you do what _you_ want to do, we'll all die and the House of Stone Mountain will perish. The King would probably give our lands to some unworthy commoner with a sword - or worse yet; divide up the quarries amongst our neighbors. I know Jennsmont would jump at the chance. No, my son, this way will work out for the best. You'll see." And she outlined the rest of her plan to Joren, who could only sit there, shamefaced and horrified, and wonder about the 'snake pit' in which he had been raised.

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A/N: Mwahaha ... cue the ominous background music. Please R&R. Thanks!


	24. Dinner at Stone Mountain

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: There's some fluff in here, but there's still a bit of plot, too. Enjoy! Keep sending in those awesome reviews - they make me want to write more!**

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_"The priestess said that there was a powerful spell embedded in the stones. As long as the wearer has it around her neck, no pregnancy charm in the world can do its work." Virryn's smile became wistful and her eyes unfocused as though she was having a vision. "So you see the Goddess has given me every advantage I could hope for in this stage of my life. Joren, I couldn't give you brothers, but I will make sure that you have sons."_

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Dinner at Stone Mountain

Sir Aron of Aili watched from the side of the practice yard as Joren and Kel casually sparred. He couldn't quite understand why Joren was going so easy on Kel. The lord of Stone Mountain had been coming over to the fort to train every other day or so for two weeks. When Joren sparred against him or one of the other officers, he really gave it his best effort. Lately, though, it seemed that Joren didn't even try to beat Kel anymore. The soldiers lost interest in betting on their matches - they were too routine and boring. Kel also noticed Joren's reluctance to really fight her.

"Joren that was barely a tap!" chided Kel. "Put your back into it! Come on; fight me the way you fought against those bandits!" _"Otherwise, this is just a waste of my time. Aron gives me a better workout than you do."_

"That was a good strike - it would get the job done," he protested and he made his voice sound a little winded as he blocked her next parry. "But maybe we should take a little break." _"Why? Why does it have to be you? First the Chamber, and now my mother. What's so special about _you_?"_

"Fine, but I think you've been 'taking a break' all morning," Kel said sarcastically and she turned away from him to walk toward Aron. "I thought you wanted to get in another good workout before we leave for your mother's birthday dinner. But we may as well st..." _"Take a break, my a..."_

"Kel, behind you!" yelled Aron, as Joren sprang toward Kel and swept her feet from under her. She fell with a thud and then rolled over to her side, rubbing her shoulder.

"Joren! What was that about?" Kel yelled at him. "Why did you do that? That's not right, you know." _"Snake! Why do I keep forgetting that you're a snake?"_

"Sorry! I'm sorry," Joren apologized and ran over to help Kel get up. _"Aagh! You just make me so mad sometimes! I know that wasn't fair, but you turned your back to me and I just ... Aagh!"_

"Never mind," she said, refusing Joren's outstretched hand and pushing herself onto her feet. "I shouldn't have turned my back on you - that _was_ one of the first things our Shang masters taught us. Thanks for reminding me." _"Yes, I must remember what you are at all times. Snake!"_

"I really am sorry, Kel. I guess I just got mad and lost it there for a second." admitted Joren. "I've been a bit under the weather and ... well ... that just sounds like the most pitiful excuse, doesn't it?" He gave her a sheepish, but very cute smile. _"I must remember to be nice, to be charming, and to be a good little boy so Mother won't ..."_

Kel dusted off her breeches and took a drink of water. She made eye contact with Aron who just shrugged his shoulders. Then she looked at Joren with a puzzled look on her face.

"Is something bothering you?" asked Kel. "Is everything going well at your quarries? I heard a few of our silver mine bosses saying they felt some more trembles deep in the earth. What do the scholars say?" _"I hope we're not in for another 'quake so soon."_

"Actually, the scholars _are_ concerned." Joren said; glad to have a worthy topic to discuss. "One of them said it could happen around midsummer or later, but he's sure the land will heave itself against that deep crack again." _"Yes! Saved by the academics. Kel always did enjoy scientific discussions when we were in class."_

"Then when should we plan for the next caravan to Corus?" asked Kel, all about business now. "Should we wait or should we go early?" _"My money's on going early, but I wonder what the stonecutters will say."_

"I was thinking we should plan to go early," said Joren. "We haven't had too much trouble with spring raiders so far, but if they harass our people while we're gone, at least General Vanget can get send reinforcements up here again." _"Good, good. Anything to keep my mind off of tonight."_

Then Kel, Joren and Aron went to her office for a while to plan for the next caravan of silver and stone to Corus. Kel was already packed for her overnight stay at Stone Mountain. Lady Virryn was celebrating her birthday and had invited Kel to dinner and an evening of entertainment. After she had given Aron guidance for the following day's training, she and Joren rode along the trail that led to Stone Mountain. Kel commented on the little spring flowers peeking up through the rocks, but Joren only nodded and kept his eyes on the trail. Neither of them had much to say after that. When they arrived at Joren's home and took care of their horses, they each went their separate ways to wash up and get ready for the dinner.

* * *

Unlike her previous visit to Stone Mountain, Kel allowed Molly the maid to help her dress for dinner after she took her bath. Kel had grudgingly agreed to wear the beautiful gown that Joren had given her as a gift. It was made of heavy velvet, too heavy for the current weather, but it was in Kel's favorite russet color. When Molly shook it out to place it over Kel's head, a small piece of paper fluttered from the lace at the bodice of the gown. Kel picked it up and smiled when she read it.

_Dear Lady Keladry,_

_I hope you like this dress. Lord Joren asked me to create something you would enjoy wearing. I know this is your favorite color. Perhaps you can wear it at midwinter. I hope to see you then._

_Yours truly,_

_Lalasa Isran_

The dress fit Kel perfectly and looked fabulous on her. Kel loved to run her hands over the rich fabric, and she wondered how much the dress cost. She blushed when she remembered the conversation of the ladies at the bathhouse. _"So, it really _was_ Joren those ladies at the bath house were gossiping about. No wonder Lalasa was behaving so strangely when I visited her."_

Kel also allowed Molly to fuss with her hair. This seemed to make the maid very happy. Kel's short locks were a bit troublesome to pull up into a fancy arrangement, but Molly was very skilled with a brush and comb. It also gave Kel more of an opportunity to chat with Joren's former nursemaid and see what she was willing to say.

"This dress is lovely on you, milady." Molly said as she teased a strand of Kel's fringe to make it pouf out a bit. "I heard that Lord Joren had the seamstress make it special for you."

"Really?" replied Kel, more color creeping into her cheeks. "How odd. Does Lord Joren do things like this often?" _"I don't think I want to be on his gift list."_

"Oh, he's always been full of surprises, milady. He can be real nice when he wants to be." Molly sounded proud of her former charge. "He seems to favor gowns lately. Lady Virryn will be wearin' one tonight that he gave her, too. Of course, _she _wasn't too happy that Lord Joren also gave that Lady Celeste a dress as a partin' gift."

"A parting gift?" Kel tied to sound nonchalant. Then she felt guilty for being as much of a gossip as those other ladies. "Where did Lady Celeste go?" _"I was wondering if I'd have to endure her boorish conversation tonight."_

"Why, she went back to Jennsmont with her brother, of course" informed the maid. "Now that Lord Joren is healthy, we don't need an in-house healer. And it seems that Lord Joren didn't care to keep the lady on as his mistress, either. At least _their_ parting was friendlier than most I've seen. There was no throwing of dishes or ranting and such. Back in Lord Burchard's day there was plenty of that. Life's more peaceful here now."

"Oh." was all that Kel could reply. _"What a strange household! I can't imagine my father ever treating my mother in such a fashion. No wonder Joren is so messed up."_

"There, now! Aren't you the pretty one when you're all done up like a proper lady?" cooed the maid, as she fastened the polished stone necklace around Kel's neck. "Oh, beggin' your pardon, milady! I didn't mean any disrespect to your being a knight and all ..." the maid hastily added.

Kel smiled at Molly and told her not to worry. Then she followed the maid to the banquet hall. No one else had arrived, so Kel placed her gift to Lady Virryn on a small table next to the lady's chair. She had purchased a perfect silver thimble and some brightly colored silk embroidery threads when she visited Lalasa in Corus. Kel knew that Lady Virryn enjoyed needlecraft, so she hoped Joren's mother would like her gift. Kel jumped when someone touched her on her shoulder.

"Sorry! I guess I keep surprising you when your back is turned to me," Joren apologized, with his hands raised to his sides. "I didn't mean to startle you. I only came in to ask if you'd like to join me in the library to look at some of the scholars' findings before dinner is served." _"Merciful Mithros, Kel! You clean up so ... beautifully. But I've got to get you out of here now so Mother can dose your drink cup."_

"Yes, I would like to see what they've discovered so far," replied Kel as she surveyed Joren standing there, looking very lordly in a black velvet tunic over silver hose and a satiny silver shirt. The velvet showed off his lord's medallion perfectly and he walked with a manly grace that practically shouted his authority. Kel noticed the broadness of Joren's back as she followed him into the book-lined room. _"Stop noticing him like that! He's a snake. _Remember_ that he's a snake!"_

The scholars showed Kel and Joren their maps and charts. They pointed out the red dots that indicated where they found evidence of the deep crack the King had felt. Kel marveled at the almost solid red line of dots that roughly followed the mountainous borderline between Tortall and Scanra. She asked if the Scanrans had reported any large earthquakes, and the mage answered that they had. He also explained that those people were so superstitious on the Scanran side of the border that they had abandoned their mines and quarries and moved further north. That explained why the spring raids had been so light. Finally, dinner was served and they all left the charts and went to the banquet hall.

* * *

Kel felt slightly uncomfortable at the dinner table. She thought there would be a larger gathering for the birthday celebration, but the only people in attendance were the two university scholars and the mage, Joren and Lady Virryn. Kel wondered if the older woman really had no friends. These mountains could be completely isolated in winter or after an earthquake, as Kel had already experienced. Perhaps it was just too difficult for friends to visit, but Kel felt sorry for the widow if that was the case. She decided to be as friendly as she could, because Joren still seemed preoccupied with something.

"Happy birthday, Lady Virryn," Kel said as the woman opened Kel's gift to her. "Thank you so much for inviting me to your ... celebration. Joren said there would be some entertainment later. Will there be music, or perhaps a jester?" _"I only hope no one sings one of those silly ballads about the Protector of the Small. That would be unbearable."_

"Thank you, my dear," Lady Virryn said graciously as she peeked at the colorful threads. "Oh, these are lovely! And I wanted a new thimble, too. How very thoughtful of you to give me these things, Lady Keladry. But, no, Joren was mistaken. You are my only invited guest this evening. The university people have been here a while, and I find it entertaining enough when they discuss such a wide variety of topics. Truthfully, I don't really enjoy large gatherings, but I find _your_ company delightful. I hope you don't mind."

"Um, no, I'm ... I'm flattered, of course." Kel hoped she sounded sincere. Her head was beginning to feel funny and the room felt so warm. _"This is so strange. It feels like the room is closing in on me. This gown is making me too warm. I need some fresh air."_

"Lady Keladry, are you alright?" Virryn asked worriedly. "You look rather flushed. Do you need some air?"

"Yes, my lady, if you'll please excuse me," Kel got up but almost lost her balance. She knew something wasn't right, but she couldn't think a coherent thought at the moment. She held on to the table to support herself. _"Can't think ... need air ..."_

"Joren, why don't you help Lady Keladry back to her room," Virryn looked at her son meaningfully. "It appears that she may need to lie down for a while."

"Yes, of course," Joren replied, narrowing his eyes at his mother. _"I can't believe I'm doing this for you, Mother. It feels so wrong to use Kel like this. I'm glad I didn't drink anything with my meal - I don't want your poison."_

Joren came around to Kel's side and supported her around her waist. Then he slowly walked her back to her room, closed the door and helped her to sit on the bed. Joren had had years of practice helping ladies out of their clothes so he moved quickly and efficiently. First he removed Kel's shoes and pulled off her hose. He took the pins from her hair and gently mussed it so that her head wouldn't feel so tight. He loosened the bodice of her dress - the dress he had had made especially for her -and slid it off of her long body. He had enjoyed the way the dress looked on Kel - it made her look so soft and lady-like and alluring to him. Joren groaned in frustration as he pulled himself away from Kel's half-asleep form.

All kinds of thoughts raged through Joren's mind. He knew what his mother expected him to do, but Kel was such a decent person and he just felt so wrong about the situation. He knew that Kel really cared about people and about doing her duty for the realm. Joren had watched Kel's interactions with all sorts of people - with her soldiers and the village children, with the merchants and the miners, and even with him and his mother. And she truly was a great knight. Joren also knew that if he went through with the plan, he was about to mess up Kel's life in a really bad way. He didn't think he could deserve her love after that - she would hate him, and rightly so. Then he knew the Chamber would let him die. Joren had just made up his mind not to go through with his mother's plan when Kel reached out her hand and grabbed his wrist.

"Dom?" asked Kel, her voice husky from the effects of the potion. "Dom, please don't leave me again. Stay with me. Hold me. _Love me, Dom, please_."

Joren's heart lurched in his chest. "Kel, do you know where you are?" he asked, already knowing the real answer to that question. "This isn't what you think it is."

"It's my dream, isn't it?" Kel asked quietly. "Oh, this is my favorite dream! You're here with me again and we can be together, Dom. Don't go!"

Kel tried to stand up, but she only succeeded in pulling Joren down onto the bed with her. She giggled and hugged Joren around his middle. He looked down at Kel's dreamy unfocused eyes and knew that she saw someone else's face and not his face. Joren clenched his teeth and wondered who this 'Dom' person was and why he had left this incredible woman alone, but hearing a name that was not his own name was like getting doused with cold water._ "Please Mithros, give me strength! I can't go through with this. My mother will just have to forgive me for what I am about to do ..."_

"Shhh, Kel, I'll stay with you," soothed Joren, gently caressing her face and her hair. He scooted her body under the covers and climbed into the bed with her. She was still holding on to his wrist. Joren carefully circled his arm around Kel's neck and let her head rest on his chest. "Everything is going to be alright." _"Mithros, help me please! I want to do the right thing. I'll only stay here long enough to let my mother think what she wants to think."_

Joren was not a particularly spiritual person. He had followed his father's hypocritical example of making the seasonal offerings to the Great God, but he never really was a true believer. Right now, though, Joren possessed enough sense to realize that he could not control himself without some kind of divine intervention. Here he was, laying next to a half-naked, warm-blooded, totally-hallucinating woman who excited him in ways he never would have thought possible. Part of his brain realized that he had already had Kel's body, when he too was drugged and thought she was Celeste. If he gave in to his own desires, Kel would never know the difference. But Joren wanted Kel to know that it was _him_ and not this other man that she was with. He wanted Kel to look at _him_ with the longing he saw in her eyes. Joren kept sending up his pleas for help as the night went on and he held Kel in his arms.

In the distance, Joren could hear the sounds of an approaching storm. Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled. Soon enough the sound of raindrops plinked against the window. Joren continued to hold Kel throughout the stormy night. Whenever she stirred, he would hold her tighter. Every time he looked down at Kel, his heart tightened and he _knew_ that he loved her now. He just had to figure out how to get her to love him back.

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"How _dare_ you interfere with my plans again?" raged the Great Goddess. "First you send an irritating earthquake, and now - this!"

"The boy asked - no he _pleaded_ - for my help," Mithros proclaimed loudly and haughtily. "How could I refuse him? You would have done the same thing! You _have _done the same thing!"

"That's entirely different!" the Goddess yelled. "Now look what you've done! This poor woman has waited _years_ for more offspring. I _finally_ got everything set up to answer her prayers, but then _you_ came along and messed it all up!"

"Hey! Your mortal was the one who talked about more warriors for the realm," boomed Mithros, "Warriors are _my_ domain, and I think they should have a glorious beginning. They should _not_ start out under some dark cloud of doubt and woe. All is not lost. Trust me."

"You had better be right about this," warned the Goddess. "The widowed mother truly is sick in her bones and the Dark God won't be held off for long."

"Just leave that to me, my sweet," soothed Mithros. "I think it's possible for us all to have our own way - we just have to be more careful and not work at cross purposes."

"I thought you expected the boy to fail anyway," said the Goddess as she began to calm down. "What changed your mind?"

"Anyone who asks for my help to be chivalrous the way that boy did tonight is going to get my help." proclaimed Mithros. "Let's just say I'm interested to see what the boy will do next."

The great gods mended their quarrel, and the storm over the mortal mountains began to ease up.

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The stormy night gave way to a misty dawn. Joren finally decided that it would be best for him not to be with Kel when she woke up. If the potion was wearing off, he didn't want to be there and experience Kel throwing a fit. He would just pretend like nothing had happened and she would think it had all been her favorite dream. He would have to deal with his mother later. Joren thought about the man Kel obviously loved - this Dom, whoever he was. Would he be able to track him down, challenge him for Kel's hand or get him to go away for good? How long would that take? What should he do to win Kel's love for himself? What if Kel still wanted this other man? What would the Chamber do to him then? Joren pondered all of his questions as he quietly slipped out of the bed, gathered his things and left Kel tangled in her sheets, sleeping peacefully.

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A/N: There you go. I hope you enjoyed it. Please R & R. I love constructive criticism. Thanks!


	25. Summer Downpour

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: Fluffy fluff coming right up, but there's still a bit of plot included. Enjoy! Thanks for all those awesome reviews! :D**

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Summer Downpour

_Kel dreamed of a time when her brother Inness had taken her to the River Domin to teach her how to fish. She was perhaps four years old and it was before she went to the Yamani Islands with her parents. At the water's edge, they found a mass of gelatinous goop that Inness explained would become little frogs later on. Kel bent down to take a closer look and something in the goop seemed to be moving._

_"Those are tadpoles" explained Inness. "Baby frogs have to stay in the water and swim around when they're first hatched. See their little tails and their little legs. They'll get bigger and bigger and lose their tails after a while. Then they'll come hopping up to the garden and eat all those nasty flies." Kel giggled as her big brother mimicked a jumping frog._

_In the dream, Kel gasped in surprise. Two of the little tadpoles were looking directly at her and waving their front legs at her. It was if they were sending her an amphibious greeting. Oddly enough, these tadpoles had the cutest little faces, but stranger still was that one had blue eyes, and the other one had ... hazel eyes. Kel reached out to scoop them up, but they swam away, deeper into the murky water. That dream ended and Kel dreamed other dreams as the night wore on, but none were as clear as the cute tadpoles._

* * *

Spring gave way to summer and Joren and Kel made another successful journey to Corus with their covered wagonloads full of silver ore and cut stone. Bandits attacked the caravan only once this time. The two knights and their men had very little difficulty defeating the would-be thieves and they brought in another long chain of prisoners. Several village artisans and craftsmen had come with the caravan to display their work to the shopkeepers in Corus and take orders for delivery in time for the autumn harvest festivals. Also, the university mage and scholars rode with the caravan. They were ready to present their findings about the earthquake fault line to the King and his council. Kel and Joren both stayed in rooms at the palace so they would be available whenever the council had questions or guidance for them.

Kel was pleasantly surprised to see her brother Inness at the palace. She ran across the courtyard when she spotted him and he picked her up and swung her around like a she was a little girl. Inness had chosen a new squire and so he was in Corus to outfit the young man and get him ready for their mission back on the Scanran border. Joren watched the mini family reunion with interest. Kel smiled and laughed with her brother in a way that Joren had rarely seen. He envied the closeness the Mindelan siblings shared, and stood there awkwardly until Kel thought to introduce him.

"Lord Joren of Stone Mountain, this is my brother Sir Inness of Mindelan," Kel introduced the two men. They greeted one another formally and Kel could see that her brother's eyes were narrowed, his expression hardened. She suddenly realized that Inness would remember Joren as a person who had harmed his 'baby' sister, and she placed her hand on Inness' arm to stop him from doing or saying something unwise.

"Inness, Lord Joren and I have just completed another caravan down from the mountains," Kel began, her face now Yamani calm. "You may recall that Stone Mountain is right next to Fort Stonebridge. We combine our efforts and get all the goods safely to Corus. It's working out fine, right Lord Joren?" _"Please be your charming self now. Nobody here knows how much you've changed, Joren. Nobody in _my _family will trust you, that's for certain."_

"I hope for your safe return, Lord Joren," Inness said slowly and deliberately. "Kel, I'd like a word with you. Please excuse us, sir." Inness bowed to Joren and held on to Kel's arm as he guided her to one of the palace gardens.

"Kel, I know you're a renown knight and a hero and all that," Inness began, "But how are you able to handle being around that man and not want to kill him?"

"Inness! For shame! Joren's a fellow knight," Kel shocked herself by defending Joren. "We have endured an earthquake and we have fought off bandits together. Joren's a brave fighter and he's one of the best swordsmen I know."

"But Kel..." Inness started, looking at his sister as if she had sprouted donkey ears.

"Yes, I know," Kel put up her hand and interrupted him, "Joren and I have had our differences and our conflicts, but that's all in the past. For gods' sakes, the man was in a Deep Sleep for seven years! His whole world changed. He missed the Scanran war. His father and his uncle _died_ while he was asleep. This has been very difficult for him. What's in the past is in the past. Let it be."

"So you _like_ him now?" Inness was incredulous.

"I'm not saying I want to have his children," protested Kel, "But Joren's alright, so long as I don't turn my back to him. Please, Inness, don't bear him any malice. I no longer do."

"Fine." Inness said through tight lips. "But you watch yourself around him. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. Cleon told me stories about that guy. I can't believe you ..."

"Inness, stop!" Kel pleaded. "I told you, I'm being very careful around him. When did you start being such a big brother, anyway?"

Kel's brother sighed. "My daughter, your niece, wants to come to the palace next year. She wants to be a knight - like you. Her mother is furious at me." His expression became hard again. "But if I ever find out that any older pages or squires harass my girl the way they did to you, I might not be able to stop myself from hurting someone. I don't know how you endured it, Kel. Why didn't you ever ask for our help?"

"Inness, girls have been training as pages now for the last three years," said Kel, "I may get my first squire after next year's exams! Things aren't so bad here now. Padraig haMinch has made a lot of changes for the good. And you know it would have done me more harm to tell you about my troubles at the time. I _had_ to work it out for myself. See? I'm just fine. I'm sure your daughter will be fine, too. Now _let it be_."

"Mithros, Kel!" exclaimed Inness softly, "When did you grow up? I remember taking you down to the river to fish just like it was yesterday."

Kel laughed and hooked her arm through her brother's arm. "I grew up a long time ago, brother dear. Now, tell me, how are things at Mindelan?" And they walked and talked in the garden for a while. Later at dinner, Kel met Inness' new squire and they told him stories of life at Fief Mindelan. Neal and Yuki had joined them for dinner and everyone at the table toasted the good news that Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami were expecting a second child. Joren watched all these interactions from a distance. He felt lonelier than ever and went back to his room to brood about it.

On his way to his room, Joren took a shortcut through one of the gardens and came across a new statue that had not been there during his years in training. He was certain that the stone from which it was carved had come from his quarries and went in for a closer look. A nearby gardener confirmed Joren's thoughts and then informed him that the Commander of the King's Own had put up the memorial recently in honor of his men who were lost at sea in the Yamani Islands. Joren remembered well that Kel had been Lord Raoul's squire and he thought it was likely that she would have known at least some of the fallen men.

When Joren looked at the list of names on the base of the statue, one name jumped out at him - Domitan of Masbolle. Could this be Kel's 'Dom'? Joren meditated on his memories of his Chamber 'visits' with Kel until he had a face to put with that name. When he finally remembered Kel's youthful crush on Dom, even as Cleon was courting her, his heart sank. So, that was it - Joren wasn't competing for Kel's love with someone he could even challenge. Everyone knew that 'ghosts' had a tendency to become more and more perfect in the memories of those who loved them. Joren knew then that his task of winning Kel's love would be more difficult than he ever thought before.

* * *

When all of their business was wrapped up, they all joined the caravan and departed the city together for the return trip up the mountain trails. Kel and Joren rode side by side during the trip, scanning the horizon for trouble, but word had gone out amongst the rogues and criminals not to bother with the Stone Mountain and Fort Stonebridge caravans anymore. There were much easier pickings along different roadways. On their third day out of Corus, the weather became unseasonably hot. Everyone was dripping with sweat as the sun beat down on them through hazy clouds and the animals needed more water breaks than usual. Even Kel's mild-mannered horse, Hoshi was irritable and balky.

"Phew! It is hot out here today!" Joren exclaimed as he slowed his horse to a walk next to Kel and Hoshi. "One of your army healers is back there telling everyone to drink more water and loosen their tunics. Gods! This is unbearable. Give me the thin mountain air anytime." _"Fool! Stop chattering like a gossipy old lady. Talk about something important. Talk about Dom."_

"Yeah, I agree with you," Kel muttered as she wiped the sweat from her brow. "I like the mountains more and more." _"Not now! I'm too hot and bothered to make pleasant conversation with you. Can't you see? I've got my Yamani face on. Go talk to someone else."_

Joren was silent for a while and then he decided to plunge right in to the dreaded topic. "So, Kel, I saw a new statue when we were at the palace," Joren began as his horse plodded along. "It was made from some of our north quarry stone - the kind that's mostly gray. It was very interesting. The gardener told me it was a memorial dedicated to some men of the King's Own who were lost at sea. Have you seen it?" _"Mithros, help me do this right!"_

Kel froze for a moment. Of course she had seen it. She had visited that part of the garden every day while they were in Corus. Every day she sent prayers to the Yamani Wave-Walker Goddess to take care of Dom's soul. Every day she ran her fingers across Dom's name etched in the stone. Kel gripped her reins tightly, made her face blank and nodded her head. Joren immediately noticed the change in Kel's demeanor, but wisely did not comment on it.

"I think it's a wonderful tribute to those fallen men." continued Joren, knowing he was entering dangerous territory. "Did you know any of them?" _"Please Kel, talk to me, and tell me the truth."_

"Yes," Kel answered woodenly, "I knew all of them. I trained with them when I was Lord Raoul's squire." _"Dom ... my poor Dom. Please, don't ask any more questions."_

"I'm sorry for the loss of your friends, Kel" Joren said sincerely, "I didn't mean to bring up sad memories. I can see I've upset you." _"Don't hate me for what I'm about to do."_

"No, it's alright," Kel knew she had to snap out of her mood before Joren asked any painful questions. _"Just stop talking about it! I don't want to talk about it!"_

"Do you want to talk about it?" Joren asked, knowing it was like pouring salt into her wounds. "I've heard that telling stories about the departed can have a good effect. We've got many miles ahead of us." _"Tell me about the 'ghost man', Kel. Tell me about Dom."_

Kel's face had drained of all its color and she was feeling slightly dizzy. She removed her helm and set it front of her on her saddle. She ran her fingers through her matted hair, which was plastered to her scalp with perspiration. Kel turned to Joren and said, "Thank you for your concern, but I would rather not talk about the ... the departed today. I think it's getting hotter. Don't you feel warm?" _"Leave it alone, Joren, or I'll have to ..." _But Kel never finished that thought because one of her army healers, Martin of Disart, came trotting up beside them.

"Lord Joren, Lady Keladry," Martin bowed his head to each of them, "Four of our soldiers have fallen out due to the heat. I must insist that we stop and set up camp for the night before anyone else is incapacitated. You look like you could use a break, too, my lady. You should take off your tunic - it's just too hot today! There is a good running stream to the west of us, where we can cool down in the shade. We might even be able to put up some tents before that storm hits." And he waved his hand toward the dark, angry-looking clouds approaching from the southern horizon.

"Alright, Martin," agreed Kel. "Let's get everyone closer to the river." _"That's just great! And we're in between any decent inns. I hate being wet."_

The caravan turned off of the road and circled up in an open field. Several soldiers started pitching tents. Kel made the rounds with the healer, checking with everyone to make sure they drank plenty of water and took off their outer cloaks or tunics. The rain became heavier and heavier, and soon Kel was soaked. She didn't really mind, though because the wetness had cooled her off. Kel preferred sleeping under the stars, but once the downpour began, she knew she'd have to put up her shelter. After Kel picketed her horse with the others, she looked around for a good spot to put up her little tent, but most of the ground was so muddy it was just disheartening.

"Kel! Over here!" She heard Joren's voice and looked around to see where it was coming from. The rain ran down her face and neck onto her already soaked shirt. Finally she spotted Joren waving to her from beneath a canvas flap of one of the empty cargo wagons. On the return trip, most of the wagons contained supplies and other goods that people needed back in their villages, but some were empty. Joren had commandeered one of them for the night, instead of pitching a tent in the rain. Kel smiled inwardly at Joren's resourcefulness, threw her pack up to him, and climbed into the wagon. It was nice and dry and she blinked a lot while her eyes adjusted to the dim, filtered light. There was a lot of dust because this wagon had carried stone from the quarry, but Kel didn't mind. She was finally out of the rain.

"It's really coming down out there," commented Joren. "I asked the wagon master if he would be sleeping in here, but his son had already put up their tent."

_"Mithros, she's soaked through and I can see her ... Stop looking!"_

"I just hope the roads don't get too boggy," replied Kel, oblivious to the translucency of her white shirt. She had followed the healer's adviceand removed her tunic when he saw her looking sickly pale, so she was wearing just her shirt and a pair of wool breeches tucked into her sopping wet boots. All of her wet clothes stuck to her like a second skin. _"Great! We'll be here extra days, digging wheels out of the mud. Gods, all I want is a warm bath!"_

"Here ... you're all wet," Joren threw Kel a dusty horse blanket that he found in the corner of the wagon. "Do you have any dry clothes in your pack?" _"Please stay covered up! Please, please, please! I'm trying to behave around you."_

Suddenly, it occurred to Kel that she was all alone, in a dimly lit covered wagon, with Joren. Her senses went on high alert and she snuggled herself into the smelly blanket. There was no way she would be changing into dryer clothes in front of this man. She had more sense than that.

"Um ... yes, I do," Kel replied slowly, "But I think I'll be fine for now. The dampness has actually helped me cool down from before." _"Nice try, snake man, but I'm keeping my clothes on - wet or not."_

_"_Suit yourself," Joren shrugged and he started rummaging in his own pack for some food. _"That's definitely fine with me. The less I think about you naked, the better."_

"I have some bread and dried venison," offered Kel. "We probably could put together a fairly decent supper if we shared our food." _"I just hope it's not all wet. That would be a shame, because I'm starving."_

Joren had some hard cheese and two apples, along with some bead and dried meat. The two knights shared their simple soldier's meal in companionable silence. Neither of them wanted to be the first to say anything. Kel certainly did not want to return to the topic they had been discussing before they pulled off the road. Joren was searching his mind for a safer way to get Kel to open up about her past relationships. The hidden sun went down, and what little light there had been in the wagon was completely gone. Kel could hear the sounds of the sentries settling in to their posts and knew that she had some of the best soldiers in the realm. Joren's voice startled her out of her thoughts.

"We probably should try to get some rest," he said. "Which side of the wagon do you want to sleep on?" _"Just so long as it's far away from me."_

"You're right," Kel agreed. "I'll put my bedroll over here. Thanks." _"So far, so good. He hasn't tried anything sneaky. I just wish I could see his eyes. It's so dark in here."_

Both of them listened to the sounds of each other preparing for bed. Kel felt safe enough in the darkness to turn her back to Joren and change into her dry breastband and shirt. She wiggled into her bedroll to change her breeches and loincloth - there was no way she would chance even a peek of exposure. Joren stayed on his side of the wagon and heard all the different noises Kel was making as she changed her clothes. He tried not to think about what she was doing, but he was unsuccessful. Finally, Kel settled down and they both laid there in the dark, listening to the rain splattering against the canvas.

"Kel," Joren broke the silence, "Have you ever thought about getting married and having children?" _"Here we go!"_

Kel was stunned. Earlier, before the storm hit, Joren had talked about the memorial to Dom and his men, and now this. Was he _trying_ to get on her last nerve? Kel was grateful for the darkness and she let her eyes fill with the hot tears she had wanted to shed earlier. She swallowed loudly and grimaced at the sound. She was sure Joren heard it.

"Uh ... sure," she replied, trying to keep her voice steady. "But not lately. I'm having too much fun being a knight commander, training with my soldiers, fighting off bandits and such." _"Gods! I hope that sounded lighthearted enough."_

"Oh, well has anyone ever asked you to marry him?" Joren tried to sound casual. "I mean, I know Cleon married someone else, but I just thought that _surely_, someone must have shown an interest in you at some point." _"There's no backing down now."_

A silent tear rolled down Kel's stricken face and she thanked the gods again for the darkness before she answered, "I really prefer not to talk about this, Joren." _"Please stop it! Why are you so bent on tormenting me with these thoughts today?"_

"Do you think you could ever consider ... that you might agree to ... do you _like_ me, Kel?" stammered Joren. _"Thank the gods it's so dark in here! I'm probably blushing like a convent girl."_

"What?!" Kel sat up in her bedroll, angry that this conversation kept going in a direction she couldn't bear. "Joren! What has gotten into you? We're friends, remember? Just friends - and barely that. _You_ need to spend some more time at court where there are plenty of other ladies with whom you can dally. Lady Celeste and I are not the only women around for _you_ to choose from." _"Honestly! The nerve of this ... this ... snake! How can he be so ... so ... single-minded? I thought we were past this. I already threw him out of my bedroom once. I'm going to hate having to move my things back out into the rain, but ... Mithros!" _Kel fumed in the darkness, wondering if there might be another empty wagon for her.

"And Domitan of Masbolle is not the only man who can love _you_, Kel," Joren snapped back before he could stop himself. _"Aagh! I didn't mean to say that out loud! Mithros help me, please!"_

Kel gasped. She felt like her heart was shattering into a million pieces. He felt like the fool of the century. Neither of them moved or said anything for what felt like an eternity. The rain continued to pour down outside.

"Kel, I ..." Joren began. _"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"_

"Don't ... say ... another ... word," Kel said through clenched teeth. She was starting to breathe too fast and she tried to hold back the sob that was welling up in her chest, but she failed. _"No! I can't talk about this with you! I can't talk about this with anyone! Oh, gods I don't want to cry!" _

The effects of day's heat, the night's rain, Joren's questions and her unshed tears for Dom finally burst out of Kel in great heaving sobs. She couldn't hold back her emotions anymore. She felt so ashamed of the tears that ran down her face and the hiccupping sounds that came from her throat. She tried to think of the calm pools and hard stones of her Yamani training, but she was just too overwhelmed.

Joren slowly got out of his bedroll and came over to Kel. He tentatively put his arm around her and began to kiss away her tears. Kel wanted to push him away, but it just felt so good to lean on someone else's shoulder for a change, and if that shoulder happened to belong to her old enemy Joren, so be it. She was tired of being a stone.

"I'm sorry, Kel. I'm so sorry." Joren kept apologizing over and over. He kept wiping and kissing away Kel's tears. Her sobs slowly subsided until she could take a few deeper breaths. Joren hesitated and then he gently pressed his lips to Kel's lips.

The lightning strikes around the countryside were nothing compared to the jolts of electricity that passed between Kel and Joren. Kel's body completely overrode her mind as Joren's kiss deepened. All she could think about was that it had been so long since anyone had ... what? Dom was dead. It was time to face up to that. She had felt nothing when Merric kissed her that one time. But Joren ... Joren! His kisses and caresses were making her whole self come alive and she couldn't seem to get close enough to him. Joren was already lost in the moment and couldn't have turned back if he tried. Somewhere in the back of Kel's mind, a tiny voice cried "_Snake bite_!"

In the torrential downpour, no one noticed the wagon that gently rocked back and forth throughout the stormy night.

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A/N: Please R & R. Thanks!


	26. After the Rain

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: Sorry, there's only a little fluff in this chapter, and it's mostly implied. I truly appreciate the input from the reviews. Y'all have changed the course of my original plot, but that's okay, 'cuz you didn't know it anyway! Thanks for the great reviews!**

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Kel's body completely overrode her mind as Joren's kiss deepened. All she could think about was that it had been so long since anyone had ... what?

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After the Rain

Kel's eyes were wide open, but she could see only shadows as she lay on her bed roll in the dark. The rain had become a light drizzle making a soft patter on the canvas of the wagon. Rational thoughts were beginning to push their way back into her consciousness. Kel heard the sounds of the sentries changing over for the last watch of the night and she guessed that there must be an hour or so before dawn woke up the camp. Joren's hand made lazy circles on her bare, muscular abdomen. When he started to trace an upward path, Kel suddenly grabbed his wrist to stop him, even though her traitorous body was already responding to his touch. _"Goddess! I've got to get away from Joren _now_." _She thought. _"If I stay here like this, I'm going to want him again. He's like a ... a ... poison! Aagh! What kind of weak woman am I?"_

"Joren ... no more ... _please_." Kel whispered; her voice was ragged in the dark. "I don't understand what has happened here or why, but I ... I can't ...I _won't_ ... be your mistress." _"Please don't touch me anymore! I don't understand why I can't control myself when you do that. I feel so ashamed!"_

Joren slowly shifted so that he was propped up on his side. His long, loose hair tickled Kel's bare shoulder. He couldn't see her face, but he was fairly certain that she was putting her Yamani mask on again and now they would need to talk. "Kel, I ... wait ... is _that_ what you think this is about? You think I want you as my ... _mistress_?" Joren could hardly believe what he heard. _"Mithros, Kel! I'm trying to set up something permanent here and you think I want just another mistress. Can this get any more messed up?"_

Kel sat up, drew her knees to her chest, and wrapped her arms around her legs. Then she covered herself with her blanket. She breathed a tiny sigh of relief as she felt her pregnancy charm dangling against her chest. At least she was safe in that regard. She berated herself again for having so much weakness. Kel did not want Joren to think he could just have her any time he wanted now, even though she knew if he touched her again, she might not be able to stop herself. She _had _to become stone and she had to do it immediately.

"Why else would you want to be with me, Joren?" she asked quietly, calmly. "There are so many more suitable ladies for you. I know you recently dismissed your mistress, Lady Celeste. Surely I'm not the only noble-born woman living near you; there must be others somewhere close by. Although, I suppose you could have any village girl you want. Isn't that how it normally works at Stone Mountain?" _"I'm not stupid. I know that all the rumors must have some basis in fact. Everyone talks of your _reputation _and your father's before you. Leave _me_ alone - I am stone!"_

"Ah. I see." Now Joren sat up and felt around for his shirt. His voice was slightly muffled as he pulled it over his head. "You've been listening to the local gossips, haven't you?" _"Great! Now my _own _past is coming back to haunt me. And you've got your mask on so tight, it's going to take me a while to peel it off again."_

"Joren, _you_ came to my bedroom that one time, remember?" Kel's voice now had a harder edge to it. "You _expected_ that I would just ... give in then and let you have your own way. I can't really say what happened here just now, but I'm not _like that_ and I've never been like that - no matter what you and your cronies may have thought back before we were knights." _"Yes, I remember the snide and rude comments. You tried to damage my reputation back then, and I'm not about to let you do that to me now. Aron warned me - you're a snake - and I am stone."_

"Kel, you might be able to lie to yourself, but your body says that you're _exactly like that_, as you say." Joren blurted out, then he sighed and carefully said, "You _were_ a prim and proper page - I actually do know that to be true - but what we've had tonight _proves_ that we belong to each other now. I need you, Kel, and I will _die_ without your love." _"Actually, we've belonged to each other since my mother drugged us, but we didn't know that then. And I can't believe the Chamber allowed me to say that!"_

"Gods, Joren! That is _the worst_ Player's line I've ever heard." Kel replied bitterly. "You belong on a stage. And whatever this is that we had tonight ... it's _not_ love. I've had love and that's not what it's all about." _"I'll bet you don't even know what real love is, but Dom ... Dom ... NO! I am stone!"_

Joren scooted over to Kel and placed his palm against her cheek. She flinched away and snuggled deeper into her blanket. When he tried to put his arm around her, she leaned further away from him. Joren's mind was racing to figure out how to salvage the situation and turn it to his favor. He was almost ready to kiss Kel again and _make_ her understand that they had an undeniably strong physical connection, even if she didn't want to admit it.

"Come on Kel," Joren started, "Let's just ..." _"This doesn't have to be so difficult. If you just let me hold you again ..." _

"Don't touch me!" Kel's voice was cold and hard and she leaned away from Joren as though he _was_ poisonous. "What I want to know is ... how ... how you found out about Dom. Domitan of Masbolle? Tell me how you knew about him - about us." _"I know you've been snooping around, asking the soldiers about my personal life, you snake. I just want to know who I'm going to spar against next. Someone needs to be taught a lesson, and my glaive is going to be the teacher."_

Joren sighed and moved away from Kel before he muttered, "You talk in your sleep." _"You told me, Kel - yes you!"_

Kel blinked in the darkness. "_What_ did you just say?" _"Oh gods! When did you hear me talking in my sleep? I know I talk in my sleep - that's what Tobe always told me. Did you _spy_ on me when I stayed overnight at Stone Mountain? I know I dreamed of Dom those times. Did you overhear my dreams?" _

"I said ... you talk ... in your sleep ... a lot!" Now Joren's teeth were clenched; he was tired of playing nice. Kel needed a good dose of reality and he was ready to serve it to her, but he had enough control to give her only half-portion of it. "Do you remember the night of my mother's birthday dinner? The night you weren't feeling well?" _"Alright, I'm going to tell you a little story. I'm only leaving out the gory details for now, because I think it's just better that way."_

Kel remembered and said quietly, "Yes, I got overheated and almost fainted." _"No, please don't tell me I was delirious, too. How embarrassing! What did I say? I must have talked about Dom then. That's just ... great."_

"Later on that night, my mother sent me to check on you," Joren continued, "And you were ... delirious. You grabbed onto my wrist and wouldn't let it go. I ended up having to hold you throughout the night. And no, nothing ... happened. You definitely were ill and you kept calling me 'Dom' all night long. It didn't take me long to figure out, well, the rest." _"Phew! I think that sounded pretty good, if I do say so myself."_

Kel's mind was reeling. That had been her dream then - Dom had held her through the night. It was distressing to find out that _Joren _was the one who had held her and comforted her then. And he sounded sincere when he said nothing else happened. Could she believe him? She wanted - needed - to believe him. But what about the things that had happened tonight? Why could Joren keep his hands to himself then, but not tonight? What had she done to make him think it was okay to take advantage of her weakness tonight? And what about all those other dreams she had been having? Now her head hurt from all the thoughts. Kel groaned involuntarily.

"Kel, are you alright?" Joren started to worry. _"Please! Don't ask me any questions you don't want to hear the answer to."_

"No, Joren, I'm not alright." Kel admitted, both to him and to herself. "I'm tired. I'm upset. And I want to forget that this night, and any other night with you, ever happened. Can you try to understand that?" _"I need for you to go away. I need to become stone again. Please, just leave me alone." _

Joren knew he was beaten for now. He would not break through Kel's mask any more tonight. Soon it would be a new day anyway and it probably would be a long one at that. Joren sighed and pulled on the rest of his clothes and his boots. "It sounds like the rain has stopped, so I'm going to go out now and give you some privacy. I'll bring back some water so you can wash up. No one will know we were together and you can preserve your dignity. Fair enough?" _"Alright, you're not ready for the whole truth, and I'm not sure I can tell you. All I can do is help you maintain your reputation - at least for the time being. We belong to each other now, Kel. Your brain may not know that yet, but your body certainly does. I just don't know what we're supposed to do next."_

"Thank you," was all Kel could say as Joren vaulted out of the wagon. She heard the sound of his squishy footsteps receding into the distance and breathed another sigh of relief. For some reason, Kel believed that Joren was not going to talk about their time together. She had a feeling he did not want people talking about him the way they had in the past. She was just grateful to him for leaving her alone to get dressed and to gather her thoughts, as well as her belongings. She had to figure out how to proceed from this moment on. The only thing Kel knew to do was to become stone.

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The day was gray and misty after the rain and the wagon masters had to dig a few stuck wheels out of the mud, but everyone was in good spirits as they completed the final few days of their trip. It did not rain any more during their travels, so Kel was able to sleep again under the stars - and alone. She avoided being by herself with Joren because she did not want to hear anything he had to say. But on the last day before they reached their mountain homes, Joren trotted his horse next to Hoshi and Kel knew she could not escape a conversation. Fortunately, the healer, Martin of Disart also was riding near her, so she knew Joren would not be talking about anything too personal.

"So, Kel, some of the stonecutters and artisans were wondering if you're planning on coming back to Stone Mountain for our midsummer's festival. It's always a good time." Joren stated as their horses plodded along. _"See? This is a nice, safe, social topic. Nothing to worry about - I won't embarrass you in front of the healer."_

"I did promise the village headman that I would visit again and buy some things at their market," Kel nodded, "Yes, I'll definitely come to the festival. I'll encourage my soldiers to come over, too." _"Just don't ask me to stay the night. You know I can't. Not anymore. It's too dangerous for me to be around you like that."_

"Oh, you won't have to encourage them, Lady Keladry," Martin laughed, "The Stone Mountain midsummer festival is one of the highlights of the year. The hard part will be getting the men to come back to the fort. Everyone has a marvelous time and most of the soldiers who go to the festival end up staying overnight at the Stone Mountain barracks anyway. We don't want them to stagger off of a cliff or something. I always have to tend to cuts and scrapes afterward, but it's all in good fun."

"You know you're more than welcome to stay the night with us at the castle, Lady Keladry," Joren politely offered. "My mother truly enjoys your company, and so do I." _"Please say no. We've got enough problems as it is. My mother is furious at me because you're not showing any signs of being with child. There's no telling what she will do or say when she sees you again. Just politely decline and I'll be able to tell her that I invited you, but you can't stay."_

"Thank you for your kind offer, Lord Joren" replied Kel. She was biting on her lower lip, which was something that gave Joren hope. He considered it a sign of progress - Kel no longer gave him the Yamani blank face all the time. "I will consider the invitation," Kel continued, "Of course, so much will depend on how the day proceeds. We _are_ expecting an inspection visit from General Vanget sometime after midsummer, so I might need to get back to the fort. _"Lame! That sounded so lame! Martin is going to think I'm crazy."_

"Of course," Joren replied, and he scanned the clear horizon. _"Well, that wasn't exactly a yes or a no, but Martin over there is listening in so she has to be polite. Blast! These are the times when I can tell she was raised by diplomats."_

The caravan stopped at the village of Stonesedge first, and Kel said her farewells to the wagon masters and all the other folks of Stone Mountain, including Joren. Then she and the Stonebridge soldiers and wagons continued on to their villages and the fort. Kel was both relieved and happy to have a warm bath, a hot meal, and her own comfortable bed. The half-tame sparrows and her old dog Jump were glad to have her back, too. Kel dreamed sweet dreams of swimming in a crystal clear lake, of fishing in a burbling mountain stream and of cute little tadpoles with strangely colored eyes.

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A/N: Okay, I'm not 100 percent happy with this chapter, but I had to get them out of the wagon and back up the mountain somehow. Tell me what you think. Thanks!


	27. Dear Kel

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. **

**A/N: I know I promised you more fluff, and it **_**is**_** coming along - big loads of it, but not in this long chapter. That last chapter was blah and this one is kind of sad. Please stay with me; I think it'll be worth the wait. BTW, I've based my view of the Tortallan deities on the personalities found within Greek and Norse mythologies. Zeus and Hera had quite the dramatic arguments, and Loki was always messing with others gods' stuff. I just thought you ought to know why I write them the way I do.**

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Dear Kel

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"Life is difficult enough with the gods meddling in it," Myles had told her more than once. "But they will meddle. All we humans can do is hope they tire of their meddling soon and leave us alone!"_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __In the Hands of the Goddess_

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The Great Mother Goddess was checking on certain mortals with whom she had special connections. A young woman in Tyra was bouncing her long-awaited, healthy baby on her lap and marveling at his perfect fingers and toes. An old woman in Maren was looking at the progress of her wheat crop for which she had prayed diligently during the past year. This crop would bring her much needed money to save her and her sick husband from the poorhouse. The Goddess smiled when she saw that Alanna the Lioness was enjoying a letter from her daughter Alianne. The Crow triplets were getting into all kinds of mischief and Alanna was laughing at the descriptions of their antics. It was good to see her Lioness so content. The Goddess slowly continued her survey and then stopped suddenly.

"What is _this_?" she mused aloud. "Ah! Ha-ha! Why, that little ..." and she flew off to find her brothers.

Thunder and lightning shook the atmosphere above the Copper Isles. Mithros and the Great Goddess flashed and huffed as they confronted their Trickster brother. The Goddess was especially irritated, but she really was not as angry as she let her brothers believe - they truly had helped her out, but she did not want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that information.

"You _both_ think you're so clever," boomed the Goddess. "Here I am, minding my own business, doing my best to help the people who cry out for my assistance. But neither of you seems to be able to mind your own business. Why do you feel so compelled to interfere with _my_ plans?"

"Idid not _interfere_ with your plans," protested Kyprioth. "I merely hid what was already there. Your trick was so delicious; I simply could not help myself. Remember, I _tried_ to compliment you on it, but you waved me away."

"And I already gave you my reasons for providing my input," Mithros continued angrily. "But _you_, Kyprioth, have no reason to be anywhere close to the mountains of the Living Realms; you have your thrown back and you should be content with that. From now on, you'd better leave this situation alone, or else I'll make sure you can't wander beyond your own islands and sea."

"Calm down everyone," replied Kyprioth. "I thought this was something you both wanted. I just added my own little twists. What's the big deal?"

"There are proper ways for things to be done and there is a proper time for everything," Mithros snapped haughtily. "Your trickery has upset the balance of propriety!"

"Well, don't get angry at me," protested the Trickster. "If you want to blame somebody, blame our dear sister here - it was _her_ trick in the first place. You're just upset because you didn't control it. But _surely_, such powerful entities as yourselves can put things back the way you want them to be."

Both Mithros and the Goddess fumed at Kyprioth's smug irreverence. They argued for a while longer, but in the end, Mithros was able to placate the Goddess' 'temper' and they left Kyprioth with a stern warning to stay out of that particular piece of business, or else he would pay dearly. Kyprioth smiled slyly as his siblings returned to their own celestial dwellings.

The raka people were grateful for the summer storm. Their crops had been overdue for a good rain. The earth soaked up the life-giving water, and the people found ways to stay dry.

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Sir Aron of Aili looked into Kel's eyes and shook his head because he could not figure out what was wrong with her. She had been running a fever ever since she returned from Corus earlier that week. Kel proclaimed that she was well enough to train and perform her duties, but her skin felt so hot that Aron became worried. All week long, Aron forced Kel to try a variety of herbal remedies and horrible-tasting elixirs, but nothing brought down the fever. Martin of Disart told Aron that it was probably some lingering effect from when so many of the travelers had been sick with heatstroke. Martin was chagrined that he had not properly diagnosed Kel on that horribly hot day, but Kel reminded the healer that he had been caring for many other people at that time.

Really, Kel explained, she did not feel _sick_ at all, her skin just felt too hot most of the time, as though she had been exercising all day long . The healers asked some of the local shepherds to bring down a few buckets of snow and ice from the side of the mountains where the sun barely shone, even in the summer. Kel didn't want anyone to make such a fuss, but the cold packs felt so good against her blazing skin, that she decided to accept their offering gratefully. Still, the ice only gave her temporary relief and Kel did not want anything to distract her from her responsibilities.

One June morning, after Kel had had one of the bad 'Dom/Joren' dreams again, she found she just didn't want to get up. She was so tired, but there were no animals to make her get out of bed right now. The sparrows were still nesting outside in the summer warmth. Jump met a 'canine lady friend' down in Silver Stream, and he often stayed near the baker's shop because that's who owned the dog. The constant fever and continuous erotic dreams sapped Kel's strength by depriving her of restful sleep. Kel decided that she could afford to take a day off from her early morning exercise routine, so she rolled over and went back to sleep. This time, she did not dream at all. A loud knock on her door finally woke Kel up.

"Kel? Are you in there?" Aron's voice came from the hallway. "Is everything alright?"

Kel checked herself and saw that she was minimally presentable with her wrinkled sleeping shirt and cotton breeches. She padded over to her door, smoothing her sleep-rumpled hair as she went. When she opened the latch, Aron stood in the doorway with a big bundle of letters and packages in his arms.

"Well, well, well!" Aron said, grinning from ear to ear. "It looks like you _did_ remember your own birthday and you slept in for a change. Good for you, Kel! And Happy Birthday!"

Kel scratched her scalp, did some quick figuring in her head, and finally realized that Aron was right. Today _was_ her birthday! Today she was twenty-three years old. Kel also realized that it must have been the fever and the sleepless nights that made her forget her own special day was coming so soon. She smiled back at Aron and then looked at the load he was carrying.

"Is all of that for me?" Kel asked, her eyes lighting up like a child's at Midwinter.

"Yes, my lady birthday girl!" Aron bowed and Kel waved him into her room. "They started arriving while you were down in Corus, but I held on to them until today. You really do have friends and family all over the realm!" She indicated that he could place the bundles on her chair, which is what he did. Then he took another look at Kel's face and placed his hand on her forehead. His smile became even wider. Kel's fever seemed to have gone away and Aron nodded his approval.

"Perhaps you should consider a few more days of sleeping in." Aron suggested carefully. "I know how much you cherish doing your pattern dances and all, but this morning's extra sleep seems to have done what neither I, nor Martin, nor the ice packs could do for you. Kel, you probably just cured yourself. Imagine that! You only needed more sleep."

Kel laughed. She did feel much better now, but she was also starving. Her stomach growled in affirmation of that thought and Aron laughed with her. Then he pulled an apple out of his pocket and presented it to Kel with a flourish. Kel graciously curtsied and accepted the fruit. She started eating it right away and thought about how glad she was to have Aron as her second-in-command, and more importantly, as a good friend. Kel was grateful to have someone around with whom she could be silly sometimes. Right now, she really missed her old friends.

"It's still not too late for you to catch the end of breakfast, Kel." Aron said as he watched her devour the apple in a few quick bites. "I'll leave so you can get changed. I'll see you in the dining hall, alright?"

Kel nodded and swallowed the last bite of the apple. "Aron, I want to thank you for checking up on me and bringing me my birthday letters and gifts. It's really special that you remembered."

"Oh, don't thank _me_, Kel." Aron admitted with a shy, but mischievous grin, "You have to thank our neighbor, Lord Joren, for the friendly reminder. He sent me a message the other day. Go on - get dressed. I'll talk to you later." Aron closed the door and Kel heard his whistling tune fade as he walked down the hallway.

"_So ... Joren knew that today was my birthday,_" Kel thought. "_Yes, Molly the maid was right - Joren certainly is full of surprises._"

* * *

Kel intended to dress quickly, but she just had to peek at her presents before she got ready for the day. She expected her parents to remember her birthday, but she was amazed that so many of her friends had written to her as well. There were packages from Mindelan and Jesslaw, and letters with seals from Queenscove, Hollyrose, King's Reach, and even Pirate's Swoop. She smiled when she saw two letters bearing the Mindelan seal, one from her brother Anders and the other from her parents in the Yamani Islands. There was one more letter which bore an unknown seal, but it seemed to be of Yamani origin. Kel's curiosity overrode her hunger pangs and she broke the seal on the heavy parchment. Her heart beat furiously as she recognized the familiar, beloved handwriting. Kel plunked down on the edge of her bed and began to read:

_Dear Kel,_

_I hope this letter finds you quickly, and I hope you are doing well. I also hope you are sitting down, because this letter is probably going to be a shock to you. By now, everyone who needs to know of my whereabouts has been informed. My family and Lord Raoul, your parents and now you know that I am alive. I am sorry for any grief you have experienced over the past months, and for the grief that I will most likely cause by the news I must share with you now._

_I survived the devastating wall of water that crashed into Yaman Harbor, but just barely. As far as I know, none of my men have been found alive and my soul still grieves for all of them. A Yamani warlord, Tsakuyo noh Kurikami, found me when I washed up on the beach of his island. My body was very broken and no one thought I would recover. It took a while for me to know who or where I was, or even to understand what had happened to me. However, a young hedge witch, Kyoko, with more Gift than she realized, was able to heal me. She is Tsakuyo's daughter, and I fell in love with her and married her. I have decided to stay here and build a new life with my new family on this peaceful island. I only ask that you respect my wish to remain 'dead' to Tortall. _

_Kel, I never wanted to hurt you. I must confess that I once loved you so much I planned to marry you. I even contacted your father to obtain a proper betrothal. When I married Kyoko, I relinquished my claim to you. Your parents know of my situation and have given me their blessings. Please don't look for me or try to contact me; just know that you will always hold a special place deep within my heart. You are a brilliant and beautiful woman, and I pray you will find a healing love such as I have found. I know there is someone else out there for you. Be happy, Kel._

_May the gods all bless and keep you,_

_Domitan ka e noh Kurikami, formerly of Masbolle_

Kel read and reread the words of the letter; she was too stunned to move. Dom was alive! Dom had suffered terribly, but he was alive and he was safe. For that she could - and would - be happy. Kel recognized the words 'ka e noh' which meant that Dom had been formally adopted into his new Yamani family, and he would owe his allegiance to his father-in-law forever. Dom's sword now belonged to Yaman, his new home. Dom's heart now belonged to Kyoko, the woman who saved him. He was not coming back. Kel could not begrudge Dom his happiness, but she could not keep her heart from breaking again, either. She let the tears flow freely down her face.

Dom wanted Kel to consider him "'dead' to Tortall" and he wanted her to "be happy." Kel promised herself she would do her best to honor his wishes, just as anyone would honor the last wishes of a dying person. She would do this because she now knew that Dom was truly dead to her. Kel could no longer hope to hold on to Dom even in her dreams. His heart belonged to someone else and never would be hers again. "_Be happy, Kel._" Kel would try, but she barely made it to the privy before she began to vomit.

* * *

After a while, Aron came back up to check on Kel again. He knocked on her bedroom door, but there was no answer. Her door was not locked, so he slowly pushed it open and then he smiled. Kel was sitting on the floor next to her chair, still in her sleeping clothes, with ripped up wrapping paper scattered all around her. She looked up and stared at Aron with a questioning look on her face. Then she gasped as she realized how late it must be now.

"I missed breakfast, didn't I?" Kel asked sheepishly. "I only meant to peek at my presents, but I guess I lost track of time. Do you think the cook might have a biscuit or something left over?"

Aron just chuckled and held out a bundle of cloth which contained a biscuit with slices of ham and bits of scrambled egg crammed within its flaky layers. Kel grinned widely and took the bundle from Aron's hands. The food smelled so good, she barely sent up a prayer of thanks to the gods before she tore into it.

"Kel, I never thought I'd see the day when you missed a meal for anything," Aron joked as he watched Kel eat. "These must be some phenomenal presents. What did you get?"

"This is from my friend Owen of Jesslaw. Actually, his wife Margarry knitted it for me. She's quite talented. Isn't this the jolliest sweater you've ever seen?" Kel put down her sandwich and wiped her hands on her shirt before she picked up a beautifully knitted sweater in one hand, and waved around an opened letter with the other. "Fief Jesslaw is famous for its wonderfully jolly soft wool, which comes from their jolly special sheep. My friends are raising jolly prize-winning sheep dogs now. It's all very jolly! Well, that's all according to my jolly friend Owen anyway." Kel giggled and set those things aside to hold up another gift.

Aron blinked. He had the feeling he had missed some kind of private joke.

"My nieces made this tunic - all by themselves," Kel giggled. "They said in their letter that they hope I won't notice their uneven stitches, but I think I may only wear this when I'm at home for Midwinter - or at some other time when its cold and I can wear a cloak over it. I love the colors, though. Mindelan for Tortall!"

Aron laughed at Kel's silliness as she wiggled the velvet tunic made of the Mindelan colors, but with noticeably crooked stitches. He was glad that she was having fun. Lately, Kel had been so serious and she focused on writing reports and working on supply lists for the next caravan to Corus. There would be plenty of time for preparations, especially since she had just returned less than a week ago. Aron thought her fever would slow her down, but Kel seemed driven by some unseen force. When he asked her if anything out of the ordinary had happened during the caravan, she only shrugged and went on doing what she was doing. Aron hoped Kel would talk to him later about whatever it was that was bothering her.

Then Aron noticed that something wasn't quite right with Kel. She swayed a little on her feet when she stood up to go across her room. She retrieved the stack of opened letters and then went back to sit on the edge of her bed. Aron saw that Kel's eyes looked glassy as she held the letters in her hand and flipped through them. He wanted to ask her how she really felt, because he could sense that her fever had returned, but Kel continued to explain her birthday greetings in a bright and cheerful tone of voice.

"Did you know that our _friend_ Joren has been writing to people all over the land and apologizing for his bad behavior when we all were pages and squires?" Kel asked Aron as she waved the stack of letters in the air. "No one can believe it! He even wrote to the Lioness and thanked her for her many years of dedicated service to the realm! Two of my friends are getting married soon, but they're still not inviting _Joren_ to their weddings because they think that apologies or not, he's probably still a _jerk_. They don't know the _half_ of it!"

"Well, Kel, we've been dealing with the man for a while now," Aron shrugged. "_We _can't tell when Joren will do something mean, like tackling you from behind, or something nice, like telling me that today is your birthday. I think he's being extra nice now for some reason, but I don't know what the reason is yet. I guess we'll find out in due time."

Kel just blinked her glassy eyes and continued, "My parents will be in Corus by now. I missed them by only a few days. If I had known they were coming so soon, then I would have stayed in Corus and waited for them to arrive. Then maybe I wouldn't have ..." she smiled a crooked smile, and waved two of the letters in the air. "I'm going to go down and see them there, and then I'll escort them back to the fort for a little visit. I think you'll like them. My parents are great! They accompanied Princess Shinkokami's mother from Yaman to Corus so that she will be here for the birth of the next heir to the Tortallan crown. My happy parents will stay in Tortall until the princess' mother is ready to return to the islands. And we'll all have a happy time this Midwinter at Mindelan!"

"Kel, are you alri...?" Aron started to ask, but Kel held up her hand to stop him from finishing his question.

"It's my _happy_ birthday!" Kel exclaimed, still smiling and still waving around one of the letters. "I'm going to be happy. Happy, happy, happy. I know I can be happy. I can be happy _stone_. That's it! Happy ... stone!" Then Kel giggled until her voice caught and she bit down on her lip to keep from crying. Her chest heaved, but she didn't make a sound. Silent tears rolled down from her eyes and splattered on the parchment in her hand.

Aron rushed over to Kel and put his hand on her forehead. It was as he had suspected - she was burning hot again. Her mysterious fever had returned with a vengeance, and now Kel seemed to be sick as well. Aron knew he had to act quickly.

"Kel, I'm ordering you to lie down right now," Aron told her as he took the letter from her hand and made her get under her covers. "I'll be back real soon with some ice for you. We've got to get that fever under control. If we can't, then I must send you back to Corus immediately. Perhaps Duke Baird will know what to do. Martin of Disart can ride with you in case ... well, without all the wagons and such; it will only take you three days to get there. We can - no, we _will _- celebrate your birthday later."

"My _happy_ birthday," Kel murmured in a broken voice and pulled the covers up to her chin as she watched Aron leave the room.

* * *

It wasn't until Aron was halfway down the hall that he realized he still had one of Kel's letters in his hand. He knew he shouldn't look at her personal correspondence, but he was beginning to be scared because she seemed so much sicker now than she was the day before. He was perplexed because Kel also had seemed to be so much better before she missed breakfast this morning. When Aron finished reading the neat writing on the parchment in his hand, he noticed the tear stains at the bottom edge of the page. All he could do was shake his head. He tucked the letter inside his tunic pocket and ran to find the ice.

"_Oh my gods! No wonder she's such a mess right now,_" Aron's thoughts were grim. "_I'll just have to cover for her until she can pull herself back together. Some birthday this is turning out to be. Poor Kel! Poor, poor Kel"_

**

* * *

**

A/N: Okay, before you flame me for over-dramatizing Kel's breakdown, I tell you truthfully that I based the scene on one of my own personal experiences from a while back. It's actually rather cathartic to write it in to a story. I'm totally fine now, but things happen and people sometimes 'lose it' for a bit. I promise you, you will get your fluff, but I must deal with my plot lines, too. Thanks for your patience. Please R & R!


	28. A New Mission

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I really have to stop listening to dramatic symphonic music when I write. I give you fair warning - this super-long chapter is full of angst and tears and some weak poetry, so you might need to have a box of tissues nearby. Not very much fluff here, but more will be forthcoming. I'm shuffling my music to something way more upbeat. Enjoy! **

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* * *

_

"Kel, I'm ordering you to lie down right now," Aron told her as he took the letter from her hand and made her get under her covers. "I'll be back real soon with some ice for you. We've got to get that fever under control. If we can't, then I must send you back to Corus immediately. Perhaps Duke Baird will know what to do."

**

* * *

**

A New Mission

Joren sat near the open window of the dining room of a small inn and breathed in the fresh summer evening air. He pushed his half-eaten food toward the outer edge of the long table and then drank deeply from his tankard of ale. He was not in the mood to listen to the lively tunes of the musicians by the hearth, but he had no choice. This was one of the only places for travelers to stay along the route to Corus, and he only planned to eat and rest for a short while before heading out again. Kel and Aron had a two-day lead on him, but he was traveling quickly and lightly, using hired courier horses instead of his own.

Joren desperately needed to catch up with Kel before she reached the palace. The day after Kel's birthday, when he visited Fort Stonebridge to bring Kel his present for her, the officer-in-charge informed him that Commander Keladry had taken ill and Sir Aron was escorting her to Corus to see the royal healer. Joren found Martin of Disart, who asked him if any of the Stone Mountain travelers had become feverish or continuously ill from the heatstroke they experienced during the caravan. Joren hadn't heard of anything like that, but it disturbed him to find out that Kel had been so sick since they all had returned from Corus. He quickly packed a bag and rode away from Stone Mountain, leaving his mother to preside over the final preparations for their Midsummer's festival. Joren thought hard about what might be troubling Kel, and he knew he had to talk to her before she saw the royal healer.

While Joren was brooding over how to tell Kel about what his mother had done to both of them and how the aftereffect of that event may be the cause of her 'illness,' the musicians started to play a slow ballad. At first, he ignored the song, as he had ignored the earlier tunes, but then the words of the refrain and a verse of the ballad caught his attention:

_Who protects the Protector?_

_Out on her missions so bold?_

_And who will hold her in the night,_

_When it's dark and when it's cold?_

_Is there no man who is willing to stay?_

_Is there no man who is willing to hold?_

_The Protector of the Small_

_Out on her missions so bold?_

_Again into the Chamber_

_The Protector, she did go;_

_To hear of its instructions_

_For her to slay the foe_

_The Chamber sends her dreams,_

_So she knows which way to go._

_But dreams cannot protect her,_

_That much we all do know._

_Who protects the Protector?_

_Out on her missions so bold?_

_And who will hold her in the night,_

_When it's dark and when it's cold?_

Joren sat there in stunned silence as the fiddler continued to play a slow interlude. Of course, he had heard about Kel's mission to stop the killing machines and her hero status from the war with Scanra, but this was the first time he had heard a romanticized musical version of the story. The ballad's sweet, plaintive tune almost made Kel seem like a tragic figure, even though she had been victorious. The words of the ballad made her out to be a solitary figure, traveling life's roads on her own and living by her own counsel - and that of the Chamber.

Suddenly, Joren wanted to know more about Kel's dreams from the Chamber. He realized that Kel's celebrated adventures took place while he was stuck in the Chamber for so many years. He wanted to ask Kel how the Chamber sounded to her ears - was it her own 'twin' who spoke to her or did the Chamber sound like that voice who demanded he make his choice? Joren's intuition told him that the Chamber itself would play a key role in solving his current problems. The minstrel sang the refrain again, and Joren wanted _his_ name to be the answer to the ballad's main query. He quickly paid the inn keeper, hurried to stable to mount the horse which had been prepared for him, and rode off into the night.

* * *

The midday sun beat down on the travelers, but Aron was confident that they would be in Corus by nightfall. He was leading Kel's horse Hoshi and controlling his own hors's pace as they rode along. Kel was sort of drowsing in her saddle, but Aron had placed a simple spell on her to keep her from falling out of it. He was relieved she was getting this little bit of rest, because her fever had not allowed for a good night's sleep at the inn where they had stayed the previous night. When Aron heard the fast-approaching hoof beats coming from behind him and Kel, he figured that the rider had to be a courier riding so swift a horse. He was mildly surprised to hear the hoof beats slowing as they came nearer, and then he was shocked to see that Joren was the rider.

"How is she?" Joren nodded toward Kel as he trotted his horse next to Aron's mount. "Is she alright?" _"Mithros! _Please_ be alright."_

Aron just stared at Joren. It took him a moment to process that the Lord of Stone Mountain had been traveling at such a fast pace in order to catch up with Kel. Whatever it was that was troubling Joren, he did seem sincere in his concern for Kel. Aron was not sure what Joren's motivation was, but he was not comfortable with the situation.

"I'm not sure that it's any of your business," Aron coolly began, "But, no, Kel is not alright. I don't know what else to do to help her, so I'm taking her to see Duke Baird of Queenscove, the Royal Healer. With his vast experience, he may know of the correct cure. It is deeply troubling to me that I cannot do more than keep Kel safe until we get to Corus."

Joren simply nodded his understanding and dropped back to ride near Kel. She was wearing a wide-brimmed hat to shield her face from the brutal sun, but Joren could see the sheen of the sweat on her brow. His heart was beating quickly as he decided what to do next. Aron glared at him when he saw Joren reach out to touch Kel's shoulder.

"Huh? What ... what's wrong?" Kel stammered as she came back to consciousness. "Joren? Is that you? What are doing here?" _"Oh gods, I don't need this right now! Why won't you just leave me alone?"_

"Hullo, Kel," Joren greeted her with a nod, "I ... I ... heard that you weren't feeling well and ... I needed to ... um, talk to you right away." _"Ugh! I sound ridiculous!"_

"Surely, whatever you need to talk to me about can wait until later." Kel told him; her voice had a hard edge to it. _"Honestly, Joren! Is it too much to ask that you not butt into my personal life any more than you already have?"_

"Actually ... no, it can't wait," explained Joren. "That's why I rode out here so fast." _"You had a two-day lead on me, but I still caught up."_

"Joren, I plan to stay at my parents' townhouse after I see Duke Baird," Kel was irritated, but she tried to offer a suitable alternative to speaking with Joren right now. "Perhaps, if it's really _that_ important, you can visit us and speak with me then. I'll give you the address. They - my parents - have come back to Tortall for a while. The General has given me a short leave of absence so that I may visit with them now." _"I have to talk to my mother. I need for her to hold me the way she did when I was a child and tell me everything is going to be alright."_

"Kel, please ... _please_, can we stop under those trees over there and talk?" Joren pleaded. "You look like you could use a break from the sun anyway." _"Oh no! Merciful Mithros, no! Not your _parents_, too? I thought I would have more time before they came back. You _cannot _find out that I've been writing to them, not yet. Gods, this is a nightmare! Please, please, please! I have to talk to you _now_!_

"Thanks for your concern," Kel answered sarcastically, but her Yamani mask was firmly in place. "Aron, can we stop for just a moment so _Lord Joren_ here can tell me his important ... whatever?" _"Of all the ... Aagh, I just can't stand it! I know you'll never go away if I don't let you have your say, so we may as well get it over with."_

Aron continued to glare at Joren, and Joren was glad that Aron would never be romantically interested in Kel. If Aron preferred female companionship, Joren was certain the healer/knight would have challenged him or fought him by now. He was just relieved that Kel had agreed to hear him out. Aron released Kel from her saddle-sticking spell and the three knights dismounted near the trees. Aron stayed with the horses and let them graze, while Kel and Joren walked further into the small wooded area to talk privately. When they were far enough away, Kel turned to Joren, crossed her arms over her chest, and glared at him.

"So, what's this all about, Joren?" Kel demanded. "What is so vital that you have driven your horse into a lather to catch me?" _"This had better be _real_ good, or else I'm going to pound you when I feel well again!"_

"Kel, did you _really_ go back into the Chamber of the Ordeal a second time to receive your mission?" Joren asked. "You know, the way some of the ballads say you did?" _"This is really, really important right now. I have to know."_

"Joren, please, _please_ tell me that you did not travel all this way, and disrupt my trip, in order to get some sort of history lesson from me." Kel demanded. _"I don't believe this! Have you truly gone insane?"_

"I have to know, Kel, because I ... I'm ... I'm thinking I need to go back into the Chamber myself," Joren explained, "And I was wondering, if you did go back into the Chamber for answers, how did you do it?" _"Tell me, Kel. Tell me the truth."_

"You're joking, right? Wasn't _seven years_ in the Chamber enough for you?" Kel was becoming angrier with every statement Joren made and her head was starting to hurt again. _"Huh? What is _wrong_ with you?"_

"Kel, I don't think I'm crazy, but I'm having strange dreams." Joren admitted. "I think the Chamber might be sending me these strange dreams. Some of them have become real and I'm not sure what to do next. Didn't your dreams from the Chamber become real, too?" _"Your eyes are telling me you think I'm crazy, but I'm not. I know I'm not."_

"Joren, now I _do_ think you're crazy," bitterness hardened her voice, "If you'll excuse me, I really do want to get to Corus before nightfall." Kel tried to go around Joren, but he grabbed her wrist and held it tight. Her hat fell off of her head and hung on its tether down her back. Kel's face was stony.

"Kel, are your dreams filled with ... visions of me ... and of you ... together?" Joren's voice was ragged with desperation. "Do you dream of being on a grassy hilltop? Do you dream of ... of ... _tadpoles_? Tadpoles with strange-colored eyes? Tadpoles who wave their little arms at you?" _"Don't lie to me now, Kel, just don't! I've got to know."_

Kel froze. Joren had described her bizarre dreams _exactly_. How could they be having the _same_ dreams? Why would Joren think that the _Chamber_ had sent these kinds of dreams? Now Kel wondered if _she_ was going insane along with Joren.

"The Chamber sent _me_ dreams about my mission to stop Blayce!" Kel exclaimed. "There is nothing, _nothing_ about my current dreams that could have come from the Chamber! Joren, I think you need to talk to Duke Baird, too." _"If you're going insane, I don't want you to drag me down with you! Gods, did you infect me with something when we ... when we ... oh, my gods! This just gets worse and worse!"_

"So you _are _having these same dreams!" Joren pulled her closer to him. "Don't deny it, Kel, because the truth is there in your eyes!" _"I knew it! Mithros, can't you see what's going on with us, Kel?"_

"No! I am _not _going to discuss this with you!" Kel pulled her wrist out of Joren's grip. "I _am _going to Corus right now to get healing help from Duke Baird. I suggest you come along, too, because you clearly need help." _"We are going now - with or without you - but I sincerely hope you'll get the help you so obviously need."_

"I also think you might be pregnant!" Joren blurted out. _"No! Why did I say that out loud?"_

Kel laughed. Actually, it sounded more like she barked, because her throat had gone dry when Joren said what he said. She walked in a circle around a large tree and ran her fingers through her sweat soaked hair. She knew she had to regain her composure quickly. She tried, but she just couldn't force her Yamani calm to find its way to her face. Giving up, she turned back to glare at Joren.

"Joren, you _have_ gone insane! Nothing you're saying makes any sense! First, it's the Chamber, and now you think I'm _pregnant_?" exclaimed Kel. "How can I possibly be _pregnant_? We've only been together the _one_ time and I had protection." She reached into her shirt and pulled out the chain with its dangling charm and brandished it in front of his face. _"Of all the crazy things ... !"_

Joren looked at Kel sorrowfully and shook his head from side to side. "Kel, believe me, I am so sorry it has come to this. I wanted you to love me first. I hoped I could win your trust enough for you to stay with me, and become my wife - never my mistress." He reached for her hands again but she pulled away from his touch. "Kel, please ... I love you more than words can express, but my mother and I have done a very bad thing to you. If you hate me after this, I will understand. I only know that without your love, I _will_ die and Stone Mountain will die with me. Let's go to the Chamber together, right now. The Chamber will help us figure this out! I just know it will!" _"Mithros help me ... you don't believe a word I'm saying!"_

"_This_ is completely ridiculous, Joren!" Kel replied angrily and paced back and forth, "I don't understand why you are trying to make me go insane with you. So we had sex - _for one night_!That certainly willnot happen again. And what's your _mother_ got to do with any of this? Your family is just so ... just so ... well, I feel sorry for you in that regard. I don't think you really know what love is. _I've_ seen real love. My parents love each other deeply. Baron George of Pirate's Swoop loves Alanna the Lioness enough to let her be who she needs to be. And Dom ... Dom truly loved me." _"Even though Dom didn't come back to me, I can't be with you, Joren. That one night _was_ pure insanity, but you took advantage of my weakness. You're the snake who 'bit' me and your touch was like a poison in my body. It's my own fault for picking you up, but you 'bit' me when I trusted you and I just _can't_ be with you." _

Kel could not stop the hot tears from rolling down her face as she continued to speak. "Dom wanted ... he even asked my _parents_ for my hand in marriage. He was going to change his whole life to be with me. When he ... died ... a part of _me_ died with him. I don't know if I _can_ love anyone the way I loved Dom. I'm sorry Joren, but I can't love _you_ like that." "_And Dom ... I just don't know how to be happy right now. I'm sorry ..."_

"I'm sorry, too, Kel. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry about Dom. I'm just ... so very sorry." Joren's eyes had tears in them now and Kel's breath caught in her chest when she saw them. "But I love you, Kel. And believe it or not, _I have_ changed my whole life to be with you. I've tried to make amends for my past. I also have asked ... well, I've made plans for a future that include you. But now, I think ... no, I _know_ the Chamber will help us figure this out. Please come with me, Kel." _"I don't _know_ what else to do!"_

Kel suddenly thought about the letters she recently had received from her long-time friends. They all said that Joren had apologized to them and asked for their forgiveness. Joren had dismissed his mistress, Lady Celeste, in a nice way, and there didn't seem to be anyone ready to replace her. The villagers of Stonesedge liked Joren, and they saw him as a benevolent overlord. The soldiers admired Joren's hard work to get back in shape and the way he bravely fought off bandits. Even Aron had said Joren was being extra nice lately. Joren was the one who remembered Kel's birthday.

Kel swiped at her tears and answered Joren, "I really do think you're insane now, Joren. Being held by the Chamber for so long must have made you insane. Maybe we can get the healers to help you." _"Because _I _will go insane if I have to listen to any more of your nonsense! I have my own problems. I _can't_ handle your problems, too."_

"Stop saying that I'm insane!" cried Joren, "If you won't believe _me_, then maybe you'll believe the cursed Chamber. Just come with me and be there when I go inside. Just wait for me in the chapel. That's all I'm asking now." Joren grabbed Kel hand tightly and pulled her toward Aron and the horses. This time she did not resist him. Kel was just about ready to agree to anything that would get them all back on the road to Corus again.

* * *

Kel watched as Joren slowly approached the iron door to the Chamber of the Ordeal. Although it was the middle of summer, the Chapel of the Ordeal was cold. Kel almost welcomed its coolness against her feverishly hot skin. Aron was dumbfounded when they explained what they were going to do, but he could not dissuade them from their folly. He agreed to post himself outside of the door to the chapel so no one would disturb Kel and Joren. He also decided that _both_ of them had lost their minds.

When the Chamber's metal door swung open on its own, Joren looked back at Kel with a pained expression on his face. It was all he could do to make his feet move forward into the too-familiar dark room. He hoped he would return soon and not in seven more years - or not at all.

"I love you, Kel." Joren's haunted eyes revealed his terror to Kel. "If the Chamber, for whatever reason, does not let me return, would you please tell my mother that I loved her, too?"

Kel nodded her agreement. "I will wait here for you. The last time I came here, the Chamber just let me go afterward. I walked out of this placeand looked for the opportunity to complete my mission. Perhaps the Chamber really has a new mission for you. Perhaps the Chamber will just tell you to turn yourself over to the healers so you can get some real help. I don't understand what you're searching for Joren, but I will wait right here for your return."

* * *

Joren stood in the center of the floor of the Chamber and waited for the door to close by itself. Once he was in complete darkness, he was almost relieved to hear the Chamber's rasping, ghostlike voice, and not his own drawling voice, in his head.

_"You've come far, but not far enough." rasped the Chamber's disembodied voice. "Time continues to slip past you. There are decisions you may influence, but you cannot make the decisions for others. Why are you here?"_

_"I didn't know where else to go." Joren admitted. "Kel won't believe me. _I_ barely believe me. What can I do? Please, will you help me?"_

_"You have come farther than you know. Humility is one of the best of the mortal traits. Love is another one. You truly love Keladry of Mindelan now. And you understand your inability to change anyone other than yourself. Your progress is commendable; I will help you."_

_The Chamber showed Joren images and scenes from his recent past with Kel that made Joren blush with embarrassment. From that moment on, Joren would never look twice at another woman, because he knew that nothing and no one could ever compare with what he had - and desperately hoped to have again - with Kel. Then the Chamber showed Joren the meaning of his bizarre dreams. The Chamber did not promise Joren success. It only advised him to be patient, to continue to love Kel, and to hope for the best outcome by the end of the year. Then, the Chamber released Joren, opened the door, and let him return to the world of the living again._

* * *

While Joren was inside of the Chamber of the Ordeal, Kel sat on one of the wooden benches in the cold chapel. Suddenly, she knew she had to touch the door of the Chamber. It had been many years since she had 'spoken' with the entity inside the Chamber, but she still was drawn to its mysterious power. Kel's overwhelming need to communicate with it finally overpowered any apprehension she felt. Kel cautiously approached the metal door, reached out her hand and gently placed her palm on its cold surface.

_"Ah, you again." _Kel heard the familiar, but strange voice in her head. It was as though her mission to find and stop Blayce had occurred only days before, instead of years. _"Why do you hesitate to act? Isn't your current mission exciting enough for you?"_

_"What mission?" _Kel asked mentally,_ "I stopped Blayce many years ago and you stopped sending me those awful dreams about him killing the children to make his machines work. But lately, I've been having _different _dreams, and I ... we ... wondered if they came from you."_

_As an answer, the chamber twisted Kel's view around so that she was standing outside of herself. Kel watched as the events of the nights Joren's mother put the strong potion into her drinks played out before her eyes. She saw Lady Virryn put the drops of liquid into her goblet and into Joren's wine glass. She saw the now-familiar dream scene on the grassy hilltop, but this time she heard Joren refer to her as 'Celeste' and she could see the wild glassiness in his eyes. Kel saw her own unfocused eyes and heard herself call Joren "Dom" and she watched in complete dismay as they hurried back to her room and fell into bed together. She noticed the polished stone necklace around her neck, intertwining with the chain that held her pregnancy charm - and she saw the ways she had intertwined with Joren, not just once, but many different times that first potion-fueled night. No wonder Joren thought she might be pregnant! When the dream flipped to the scene of the second time Lady Virryn drugged only her, Kel saw that Joren just held her in his arms the whole night -he had told her the truth- while she had believed she dreamed of sleeping in Dom's arms. Thankfully, the Chamber did not dwell too long on the passionate night she and Joren had recently experienced in the covered wagon. Kel closed her eyes against the shame she felt at being so exposed. She wanted to run away, but the Chamber held her there and would not release her hand from its supernatural grip._

_"Your current mission is already in motion," said the Chamber in its raspy voice. "But there are choices only you can make."_

_Then the Chamber twisted her view again. Once more, Kel saw herself sitting on that familiar grassy hill, overlooking a stony valley. Two very little boys were running around her, waving their wooden toy swords at each other and giggling furiously. One boy had sandy brown hair and wide hazel eyes. The other boy had white-blond curls and sky-blue eyes. The Kel in the vision looked quite happy and quite pregnant, and her smile became wider as a pair of long legs came walking up the path behind the trio. The boys ran to and wrapped themselves around the legs, which kept coming closer until they were right next to the vision-Kel. Then a man tumbled down, falling quite literally into what was left of her lap. Kel saw her vision-self lean down and passionately kiss a smiling Joren full on the lips. Both of the little boys wriggled in between the laughing couple and when she looked into their cute faces, Kel suddenly recognized the 'tadpoles' from her dreams. The scene ended with the four of them all in a happy jumble of arms and legs together. _

_"But ... how can ... _that _... be a mission?" protested Kel. "What kind of mission is that?"_

_"You are mending the Mountain and making it your own." replied the Chamber, echoing the words of that too-familiar song. "There is no greater mission than bringing new life to a dying House. The mortal queen of your realm is fulfilling a similar mission. Your love and your compassion are powerful enough to redeem Stone Mountain. You may choose to forgive the dying old woman whose actions sprang from her desperate desire to save her House. You may choose to protect the very small mortals who are inside of you now. They and the others will flourish under your love and care. Your children may become great warriors for your realm. You still may serve your mortal king with honor, for there are other battles in which you may fight and be victorious. Joren of Stone Mountain has made his choices - he chose life and love with you. Now you must make your choices, but you also must understand the consequences of your hesitation..."_

_The Chamber twisted Kel's viewso that she stood just inside of a small room. She watched as her parents rushed into the room and she saw her mother collapse to her knees next to a bed. Her father's shoulders heaved as he wept and kneeled down next to his wife. Kel heard Duke Baird's gentle voice, explaining to her parents that no one had ever known or guessed Kel was pregnant because she wasn't showing any typical signs of pregnancy. The healer told them that by the time he realized what was making their daughter so ill, it was too late; the babies inside of her were dying and so was she. He apologized sorrowfully for not being able to save any of them. When Kel's weeping parents stood up, with their arms wrapped around each other for support, Kel saw the horrible vision of her pale and lifeless body on the blood-stained bed. _

_The Chamber then whisked her away to a different scene - at Stone Mountain, Lady Virryn was draped over the open-eyed, blue-lipped, limp body of her son. This time, there was no sign of life left in him; he really was dead. Sir Alwin tried to comfort the weeping woman, but she kept saying over and over, "My fault! This is all my fault! She couldn't love him, but I forced their hands and now they're all gone! It's my fault! My fault!"_

_"Stone Mountain loves you and needs you more than you know." The Chamber rasped, "But the choices are still yours to make." And then it released Kel from its cold, cold grip._

* * *

Kel blinked and realized that tears were streaming down her face. She rubbed her cold hand with her other hand, massaging out its stiffness. She thought about everything the Chamber had shown her and she returned to the wooden bench. When Kel sat down, she put her head in her hands and wept. She didn't know how long she had been there when she felt a hand gently touch her shoulder. Kel looked up and Joren sat down next to her. Then he folded her cold, wet hands inside of his warm, dry hands, and silently - almost reverently - kissed away her tears.

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A/N: So, I hope you liked it even though it was pretty angst-y. I know I used the word 'please' far too often. Does anyone know of a different way to convey polite begging? _**Please**_** let me know what you think. :D Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	29. Love, Respect and Cherish

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine.**

**A/N: **Fluff Alert** As promised, I am serving you faithful readers a generous portion of fluff this time. You've been very patient with my plotting and all the twists, so this one is for all the fluff lovers. ;D**

**Enjoy! **

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When Kel sat down, she put her head in her hands and wept. She didn't know how long she had been there when she felt a hand gently touch her shoulder. Kel looked up and Joren sat down next to her. Then he folded her cold, wet hands inside of his warm, dry hands, and silently - almost reverently - kissed away her tears.

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Love, Respect, and Cherish

When Joren stepped out of the Chamber of the Ordeal and saw Kel sitting there, sobbing into her hands, his heart hurt for her so much that he decided his next moves very carefully. He knew that the Chamber had shown Kel the same things it had shown to him and more. Joren tried to imagine what was going on in Kel's mind. He knew that her partial Yamani upbringing would cause her to feel intense shame at the confirmation of her condition. Joren also knew that the whole situation must be overwhelming for this honorable lady knight - _his _lady knight. He was deeply chagrined that he and his mother had caused so much of her anguish, but he was hopeful that she might forgive them someday. Joren silently vowed to do whatever it would take for Kel to smile and be happy again.

Joren brushed away the last of Kel's tears and she let him put his arms around her and hold her to his chest until her sniffling subsided. They sat that way for a while; neither of them speaking a word. Joren waited until Kel's breathing seemed to be normal and then he shifted their bodies around so he could face her. His concerned, sky-blue eyes looked directly into her red-rimmed, hazel eyes while they both searched their own thoughts for the right words to say.

"You ... you _lived _my life," Kel tried to keep her voice steady. "The Chamber wanted me to know how you knew so much about me - what it forced you to do for all those years. I am ... I feel so _exposed_. I had wondered how you knew it was my birthday and how you knew about my fighting tricks and ... and my favorite foods. The Chamber also showed me our ... our ... times together. It showed me ... visions ... of possible futures. It told me that you _chose_ to live again and that you ... you _chose _to love _me_. How can I say no to you, Joren? How can I refuse my mission to help you?" _"Why is it that Dom chose to live a life without me and yet you, of all people, chose to live a life with me? How did _this_ become my life?" _

"Kel, I ..." Joren began, but she held up her hand to stop him.

She wiped away the silent tears that had started flowing again and mentally cursed her inability to regain her composure. Kel finally gave up on any hope of regaining a Yamani-calm face and continued to speak. "Joren, you have taken and taken and _taken_ from me and what you have _given_ to me does not feel like any kind of love I've experienced before. _Your_ love feels like poison in my soul ... but ... but it seems I have no choice right now but to do that which will save our lives. I _will_ love our children and I will try my best to love you, Joren. That's all I can do." _"Dear Goddess ... Great Mother ... help me love this man!"_

Joren nodded slowly and then he reached for Kel's hands again. "Kel, I truly, truly love you. I love everything about you - _everything_ - and you are the only woman I want or need to be with now. I'm sorry you feel that my love is wrong for you. I'm sorry I've hurt you so much. And I promise to spend the rest of my life proving my love for you. I only hope you can find something to love about me." Joren's voice became thick with emotion. "But if you can't ... love _me_ ... can you find it in your heart to love our babes? They might survive, even if I don't. I want your love and I need your love, but I can't force you to love me, Kel." _"I _won't _force you to love me. I know that isn't love anyway."_

They sat there and stared at each other in the silence for another long while until Joren let go of Kel's hands. Slowly and carefully, Joren reached out his hand to place his palm on Kel's lower abdomen. She did not move or flinch away at his touch; instead, she placed her hand on top of his, and never breaking eye contact with him, she nodded her head. It was Kel's silent agreement with Joren that gave him hope. They would begin by loving the babes now within her.

Kel closed her eyes and sighed; then she turned her head to stare at the Chamber's closed door. "At least I now know that I am not as sick as everyone thought I was. I suppose I'll have to tell Aron to stop worrying about me. There's nothing wrong with me that lots of rest and the right kind of tea can't cure. For years my mother and my sisters have complained about how hot and tired and weepy they felt when they were pregnant. I think I understand that now. I've never cried so much in my entire life as I have cried since ... well ... I'm really and truly pregnant. My mother always said that my sister Patricine never showed her pregnancies until she was quite far along - six or seven months, I think. Perhaps I am like her. Perhaps there's still time for me to resign from my post before the real reason becomes obvious." _"How can I continue to be a knight commander and serve the realm honorably when this is going to become such a scandal?" _

"Kel, our ... sons ... don't have to be raised as bastards. I _want_ to marry you." Joren's gaze did not waver when Kel turned quickly to look back at his face. He moved his hand away from Kel's flat abdomen to hold her hand again. "Marry me, Kel. We can be married tonight. The Great Temple of Mithros is always open and people go there to elope at all hours of the day and night. Aron can be our witness - no one else would have to know anything about why we got married so quickly. Or ... we can ... send your parents a message to meet us at the temple if that will make all of this easier for you. Kel, I want to take care of you, starting right now. I know you're used to taking care of yourself, but I'm here for you now. I beg of you ... let me give you my name and my title so that there won't be any more shame for you. Please ... marry me, Kel." _"Mithros help me! I want to do this right. I _have_ to do this right!"_

Both Kel and Joren understood that this terribly long day was turning out to be one of the most significant days of their lives. Kel suddenly realized that so many of her life's significant days had involved Joren in some way - usually involving something negative such as the weighted lances and Balor's Needle and her conversation with King Jonathan after Joren's trial. But all of those events also had positive outcomes eventually. Kel searched Joren's eyes for signs of any trickery or deceit, but she found nothing to fear there in his steady gaze. Despite the fact that Joren kept telling her that he loved her and wanted to marry her, it was the idea that Joren was offering her a way to maintain her dignity and pride that finally overwhelmed her. Kel was speechless with gratitude.

As an answer to Joren's question, Kel hesitantly leaned forward until their lips gently touched. They both felt the electric jolt, but Joren did not press for anything more than that one sweet kiss. He knew he wanted Kel to truly love him in return before he went any further with her again. Joren desperately wanted Kel to give him the same look she gave him when her drugged mind thought she was with Dom. It was pure agony for him to break off their kiss, but he knew he had to do it now or risk making a very foolish mistake. Joren took a deep breath and rose up from the bench, pulling Kel up with him.

Joren straightened his tunic. "We should leave now. There's no telling how long we've been in here or how late it is. How do you feel, Kel? Are you hungry?" Joren asked and he put his palm on Kel's forehead. _"Still warm, but at least we know why. I _know _you - and I know you need to eat soon."_

Kel nodded slowly and opened her mouth to speak, but then both she and Joren jumped when Kel's stomach growled loudly. Joren smiled at Kel and she tried - unsuccessfully - to stifle a giggle. Of course she was hungry! Her smile faded though when she suddenly thought of all the experiences - _her_ experiences - Joren must have gone through when he was in the Chamber for so long. Kel thought it just didn't seem to be fair that Joren knew so much about her now, and she really knew so little about him.

"Joren, is there anything you don't already know about me?" Kel asked. "You seem to be able to predict a lot of the things that I say and do now. Is that from what the Chamber did to you?" _"I truly hope you cannot read my mind. That would just be too much."_

"I suppose that since the Chamber told you about my Ordeal directly, I can talk to you about it." Joren nodded carefully, struggling to figure out how to say what he needed to say for now. "Kel, there's a lot that I don't know about you. I really don't know what you're going to say or do next. I simply remembered that it has been a while since either of us has eaten. I don't know much about the past seven years of your life; the Chamber did not make me live through any of those events. I don't know about your experiences as a lady knight. I don't know what will make the 'ghost' of your former lover go away. Most importantly, I don't know exactly what you need for me to do so that you can love me. See? There's quite a bit that I don't know about you." _"Once we're married though, I intend to find out all I can about those things."_

"You know, the Chamber also showed me that you were telling me the truth all along." _"My whole world is upside down now, but at least we're not insane."_

Joren grinned at her. "So ... do you still think I'm insane?" _"I _would _have gone insane if you hadn't agreed to marry me."_

"No ... I don't either of us is insane," Kel smiled a little. "But it might have made things easier for us if we were. Joren, how are we going to explain all of this to anyone?" _"Mithros! No one is going to believe us. They won't understand why we are together."_

"I've been thinking about that," Joren said and he put his hand on Kel's shoulder to guide her toward the chapel door. "But first, you need to eat something. Let's go to my townhouse; the staff is always ready for my arrival and we can have a decent meal no matter what time it is."

Kel stopped in her tracks. "What about Aron? How much should we tell him for now?" _"My poor friend has been out there waiting for us forever."_

"Aron? Oh, right. I almost forgot he was out there." Joren rubbed the bridge of his nose. "He should come with us to the townhouse; there's plenty of room and I'm sure that he also must be hungry by now. I definitely think Aron needs to know that you're pregnant - not only because of your 'fever' but also because he may have to do more to help you with your commander duties. Aron _is_ your second-in-command and he's been your primary healer for a while now. He really cares about you, too ... well, in more of a _brotherly_ kind of way. I think we can trust him." _"Besides, we already know he's very good at keeping secrets."_

"I think you're right about this," Kel replied softly. "I just hope he'll take the news better than I did." _"And I hope he doesn't try to kill you for doing this to me."_

Joren had the same thought as Kel and he exclaimed, "Mithros! Aron just might want to kill me for this ... and he's just the first of many. Everyone - your family and friends, and all the people who look up to you - _all_ of them are going to want to kill me. I'll have to hire bodyguards just so I can travel off of my own lands." _"I am so dead! They're going to hate me more than they ever hated me before."_

Kel reached across and put her hand over Joren's mouth. "That discussion will have to wait until later. I'm tired, I'm hungry, and it's too cold in here to think properly. Let's start slowly with Aron and go on from there." _"Everyone and everything else will have to wait until _after _I've had a decent meal."_

Joren reached out his hand to clasp Kel's hand, he opened the chapel door, and they walked out together.

* * *

At one bell before midnight on that incredibly long day, Joren and Kel stood in front of a sleepy-eyed, yellow-robed Mithran priest in a small chapel in the Great Temple of Mithros. They had bathed and changed into nicer clothes at Joren's house. Joren wore a black tunic with silver hose and a silver shirt. He wore his long hair pulled back into a silver clasp as usual. Kel wore the simple green dress that she had planned to wear while she visited her parents. Her short hair was still slightly damp from her bath. There was no maid to help her get dressed or fix her hair, so she felt somewhat plain next to Joren. Both of them were nervous, but they also were tired and just wanted to get started.

Kel and Joren presented their official papers of elopement to the priest, along with the standard monetary offering to the temple. Baron Piers and Lady Ilane of Mindelan stood behind their youngest daughter. Sir Aron of Aili stood behind Joren. They all participated in the traditional candle lighting ceremony, with Aron serving as Joren's 'family representative.' Joren turned to Kel, held both of her hands in his and pulled her just a little closer to him. Candlelight reflected from Kel's dreamy hazel eyes and she gazed into Joren's sparkling blue eyes.

Joren's gaze never wavered as he took a deep breath and began, "Lady Keladry of Mindelan, before Mighty Mithros and all the gods of the Divine Realms, I, Lord Joren of Stone Mountain, do solemnly swear to spend the rest of my life - however long that might be - learning to love, respect and cherish you in the ways that bring happiness and joy to your life. I shall forsake all others out of my respect for you. I shall be your husband and lord and our Houses shall be joined together for the benefit of our Realm. I humbly ask Mithros and the Great Mother Goddess to bless us our lands, our home and our bed with prosperity all our days. My life, my love, my sword and my shield are yours now and forever, my lady." _"I love you, Kel, and I truly mean every single word."_

Kel gasped softly. Baron Piers and Lady Ilane exchanged surprised glances with Aron. Joren had _memorized_ the ancient words of one of the traditional Mithran wedding vows with which Kel was quite familiar, especially since she came from such a large family. Kel had heard those words, or at least ones very similar to them, at almost every one of her siblings' wedding ceremonies. Rarely did anyone memorize their wedding vows. Kel still remembered how painful it was to listen when her sister Adalia's husband stumbled through practically every line of the vows that he read at their wedding. Of course, Kel _had_ to read her vows from the yellowed scroll, but she got through them without any stammering or stumbling. The fact that Joren had spoken every word to her sincerely, without notes or cues or anything, was astounding to Kel and everyone else.

Kel took a calming breath before she whispered the ancient response which sealed her to their vows. "So mote it be." _"Oh my gods! We're married!"_

"So mote it be." Joren's voice was clear and strong as he sealed himself to their vows. _"Thank all the gods! We're married!"_

Then they exchanged their hastily purchased rings and placed marigold garlands around each other's necks as tradition dictated. Joren quietly promised Kel that he would have proper rings made for them as soon as possible. The priest concluded the simple ceremony by blessing them both and declaring their marriage now to be unbreakable before Mithros. Then the wizened old priest nodded his encouragement for Joren to kiss Kel. Joren gladly complied by turning to Kel and giving her a short, sweet kiss.

Baron Piers and Lady Ilane both had tears in their eyes when they hugged Kel and welcomed Joren to their family. They had been shocked and dismayed when they received the late message requesting their presence at the temple that evening, but nothing could have prevented them from being there to support Kel. There was so much to discuss, but for now, they politely wished the newly married couple much joy and happiness. Finally, the weary group left the temple and made their way back to their houses. They all had agreed to meet for dinner at the Mindelan's townhouse the following evening. Joren and Kel would work on any other plans for their future _after_ they had had a good night's rest.

* * *

Joren escorted Kel to the room in which she had prepared for their wedding and stopped at the door. A servant had put away all of Kel's belongings and had turned back the covers on the big bed. Kel looked at Joren questioningly.

"Is this ... where we'll ... sleep tonight?" She asked him. _"Goddess help me! I don't know if I can go through with this now. I thought I could, but now..."_

"This is where _you_ will sleep tonight, love." Joren gazed into Kel's eyes and his thoughts were confirmed. "This has been such a long day for you - for all of us. You're exhausted and I want you to get some rest. You're not ready for anything more right now. Trust me, I'll know when you _are_ ready, but until then ... these are adjoining rooms and I'll be waiting next door." _"I cannot ... I will not ... sleep with 'ghosts' in our bed. Kel, I promise I will find a way to erase Dom from your body's memory, but I know it's not going to happen tonight."_

Joren hugged Kel close to him and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. It was so hard for him to tear himself away from her warmth, but he forced himself to hold her at arms length and wished her good night. Then Joren smiled at Kel before he walked out and closed the door gently behind him. This was _not_ how either of them had ever envisioned their wedding night would be.

Kel got undressed, put on her same old sleeping shirt and breeches, and climbed into the big bed. It felt so strange to know that she was actually married, especially since she was not sharing the same bed with her new husband on their wedding night. Her sisters would be horrified if they ever found out about it, but Kel was pretty sure she would never tell them. After she blew out the candle, she lay there in the darkness with her thoughts all whirling around inside her head. Kel twisted around the new ring on her finger and smiled when she remembered the way that Joren had recited his wedding vows to her. Joren really was full of surprises. She knew he was right about her not being ready for anything else tonight, but she also knew she _was_ ready to stop being alone. Kel threw back the covers and padded over to the door that connected her room to Joren's room and gently knocked on the smooth wood. Joren came to the door immediately and asked Kel if something was wrong.

Kel had thought she had no more tears to cry after the long, long day, but she was wrong. Tears silently slipped down her cheeks as she looked into Joren's concerned eyes. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper.

"I don't want to be alone anymore, Joren." Kel placed her hand on Joren's solid chest. "Can you just ... _hold _me? This time ... I'll know it's _you_." _"Joren ... I need you to help me forget Dom so I can be happy again. I want to be happy again."_

As an answer, Joren closed the space between them and hugged her fiercely. Then he led her into his room and onto his bed, helped her get settled and held her through the rest of the night. That was all it took for Joren to begin to make Kel feel loved, respected, and cherished. The newlyweds - and parents-to-be - fell asleep almost as soon as their heads hit the pillow they shared. They both slept soundly and deeply; neither of them had any dreams worth remembering that night.

Nearby, deep inside of Kel, the two little 'tadpoles' responded to the love that they sensed was growing between their parents. They were not yet big enough for Kel to feel their movements, but they were turning happy little flips in their warm, safe world.

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A/N: I sincerely hope that was enough fluff for all you patient readers. I have written only a few more chapters, but I'm open to suggestions for continuing the story, or moving on to a sequel, or just moving on. Let me know what you think. Thanks!! :D


	30. Happy Couple

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Okay, this chapter originally was part of the previous chapter, so for those of you who wondered about the "generous portion of fluff," just read these two chapters together and you'll get your fluff. Sometimes I write too much and then I have to break up the chapter. Also, I forgot to change my author note. Sorry for the confusion. I think I should learn how to write short drabbles next. ;D **

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**Happy Couple**

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Kel had thought she had no more tears to cry after the long, long day, but she was wrong. Tears silently slipped down her cheeks as she looked into Joren's concerned eyes. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper.

_"I don't want to be alone anymore, Joren." Kel placed her hand on Joren's solid chest. "Can you just ... _hold_ me? This time ... I'll know it's _you_." _"Joren ... I need you to help me forget Dom so I can be happy again. I want to be happy again."

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Mighty Mithros looked over at the Great Goddess and gave her an I-told-you-so look of cocky smugness. "It's all working out just fine. I'm going to get my warriors now. The girl married the boy and they're sharing the same bed and, most importantly, they're willing to love my little warriors into life. Why, then, are you frowning?"

The Goddess looked at her partner and shook her head. "The boy certainly has fulfilled two of the conditions for his continued life, but the love they have right now is very one-sided. Yes, they're married. And yes, they're sharing the same bed - but it has not yet become a true _marriage_ bed. Those mortals are merely _sleeping_ together - period. The boy now loves the girl, but she's not quite ready to allow herself to love him back. What was Yama thinking when she saved that _other_ boy? And why is everyone interfering with _my_ work? First, Kyprioth and now Yama - and she's not even a trickster! I wouldn't be surprised if Sakuyo's fingers are involved, too. This is a ... a disaster-in-the-making!"

"Pardon me, love, but _what_ are you talking about?" Mithros asked. "Here I am amazed at the progress the boy has made and you sound as though all is about to be lost. What have I missed?"

"Only that the girl still thinks she's unworthy of love because the _other _boy didn't choose _her_," fumed the Goddess.

Mithros tried to soothe her, "That's ridiculous! When Yama saved the other boy from the troubled waters, he thought he would never see the girl again, so he chose to build a new life with a new girl. By the time he realized he could have returned to the girl, it was too late. That boy made a good choice - now there will be another group of strong warriors for me over there in those islands. Don't be so hard on Yama; there was no way for her to know that we had assigned to _our boy_ the task of building a life with the girl - and she certainly didn't know about the connections the girl had with _both_ boys."

"That's all well and good," The Goddess replied. "But now the girl's perspective and self-esteem are so messed up it could take _years_ for her to get over it. She's not ready to completely love _'our boy'_ as you called him because she's still thinking about the other boy. It's not a good situation. Anyway, I distinctly remember at the beginning of all this, you were thinking _our boy_ would return to the Chamber and go with the Dark God at the end of his year."

"You _know_ I changed my mind after we saw the potential for my warriors to come into existence." Mithros protested. "And look how far the boy has come - he really took his lessons from the Chamber to heart."

"Yes, well he's supposed to take the girl's love to heart, too." The Goddess reminded him. "It won't count if the love is only one-sided. Think of it this way: as it is now, you will get those two new warriors and no more. However, if she returns his love, there will be _several_ others."

Mithros considered what the Goddess said. "You make a good point. You know as well as I do that those mortals are going to _need_ all the warriors they can make in the days to come. So ... how can I help you?"

The Goddess smiled. "I have a plan that just might work if the mortals already present in the girl's life will play their necessary roles. They just need a few _pushes_ in the right direction. _That's_ how you can help - by providing the pushes."

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The night sky over Corus was clear and the stars sparkled in the darkness. People dreamed their peaceful dreams that night and most of them were unaware of the coming turbulence. One couple in particular, a newly married couple of knights sleeping together for the first time as husband and wife, dreamed of nothing at all.

* * *

Joren lazily opened his eyes to see the midday sun peaking through the window curtains. He was glad that they had slept soundly through the night and well into the next day. They both really needed the extra sleep after the previous day's activities. Sometime during the night, he and Kel had shifted around in their sleep and now they both were on their sides, nestled together like spoons. Joren's arm still was wrapped protectively around Kel's body and she continued to sleep peacefully in front of him. Joren had a lovely view of the back of Kel's head and he smiled when he breathed in the scent of her hair. He knew they would need to get up soon to start dealing with their new life together, but for now it felt nice to be lying here, next to his ... _wife_.

Suddenly, Joren became very aware of their bodies pressed so close together. It hadn't been a problem before because his most pressing need at that time had been for sleep. Right now, sleep definitely was_ not _his body's most pressing need. Joren was determined not to pressure Kel or make her do anything with which she was uncomfortable. He truly was willing to wait until she desired him in the same way that he desired her. He also wanted the 'ghost' of Dom to be a _distant_ memory for Kel. Joren slowly lifted his arm so that he could try to slip out of the bed without disturbing Kel's sleep.

Kel slowly opened her eyes and discovered that Joren's whole body was pressed up behind the entire length of her whole body. His bare, muscular arm was wrapped around her middle and she imagined she was in a safe little nest. She sensed him stirring behind her and her entire being felt like it went up in flames. Everywhere Joren's body touched hers was tingling. A memory of being together with him in the wagon flashed through her mind. She knew what would happen if they stayed like this much longer. Joren had been so sweet and so considerate of her needs last night, but Kel was honest enough with herself to admit that being with her ..._husband_ ... this morning might not be so bad after all.

Through the years, Kel had listened to her sisters and sisters-in-law giggling about their wedding nights. She had not given it much thought until now, but they had discussed all sorts of 'marriage things' in front of her and she rarely paid attention. Now Kel wished she had listened to those conversations more closely. One of the things she remembered was that, legally, Joren could have demanded his rights as a husband last night. And even though she probably could have fought him off, she _knew_ her duty as a noble-born wife. There were several wedding night traditions that Kel supposed were the norm for everyone else. Suddenly, she understood that she would have only the one wedding night to remember and it was already morning. Kel thought about all these things and when she sensed Joren moving his arm away from her body, she decided it was time to let him know that she was ready to begin their married life together ... right now.

"Joren, please stay with me." Kel whispered, "I really like being here with you ... like this."_ "It's so much nicer than I thought it would be."_

"Good morning, Kel. I didn't realize that you were awake." Joren said and tried to keep his voice from wavering as Kel snuggled closer to him. "We have a lot of things to do before we go to your parents' house for dinner. So ... we probably should get up and try to prepare for ... whatever is going to happen next." _"For gods' sakes, Kel, stop wiggling! I'm having difficulty controlling myself enough as it is." _

"Hmm ... whatever _is_ going to happen next?" Kel asked and she placed her hand on top of Joren's hand, pressing it to her belly. "What will happen next if we just _stay_ ... _here _for a while longer?" "_I think it's time for me to decide to be happy without Dom. I'm with you Joren, now and forever it seems. And I can tell you really _want _to be with me, so ..." _

"Kel ... I don't want you to feel ..." Joren struggled to find the right way to say what he needed to say." I don't want you to feel_ obligated_ to ... to love me like this." _"Kel ... please ... don't do this because of some kind of misplaced sense of duty!"_

"Joren ... I think I do ... love you," Kel spoke softly as she took hold of Joren's hand and guided it up to where she wanted it to be. "And now that we're married, isn't _this_ what happens next?" _"Joren, I'm going to be happy now and I think this will make you happy, too. We can be happy together, at least for a little while."_

"Maybe we should wait until ..." Joren's voice sounded strained. He was trembling with his efforts to control himself, but Joren knew he was about to lose this battle. "Kel ... _really_ ... we don't have to do _anything_ until you're ready." _"Until you know for certain that you truly love me." _

"Joren, we're both very, very ready. You know it and I know it." Kel slowly moved Joren's hand away from her, wriggled out of her sleeping clothes and turned to face him. "Thank you for letting me sleep; it was very nice of you to do that for me. You knew how tired I was last night ... but ... _this_ can be our wedding 'night' now. You're my husband, Joren, and I'm ready to be your wife." _"Please stop talking and help me to be happy again. You have to _help_ me forget Dom."_

Joren gave in. A low groan escaped from his throat as he wrapped himself around Kel and kissed her over and over. Joren's overwhelming desire for Kel pushed all other thoughts aside and he decided not to dwell on his notion that they still had a 'ghost' in the bed with them. Kel had offered herself to him without hesitation. It was a better start to their married life than he had expected. Joren had heard wedding night horror stories from the male point of view and so he knew that what he had right now was quite out of the ordinary. He simply didn't have the willpower to wait for Kel to love him the way he really wanted her to love him.

The newlyweds spent the rest of the morning enjoying their wedding 'night' and making each other quite happy.

* * *

When Joren and Kel finally came downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat, Aron was already sitting at the wooden table, having a late afternoon snack of sliced apples, bread and cheese. He offered some to them and Kel tore into the food with a look of sheer bliss. Obviously, neither she nor Joren had eaten anything during the day. Both men watched Kel eat and laughed at the look on her face when she realized that she had devoured most of what was on the plate in only a few minutes.

Then Aron smirked at Joren and said "You know, as a _healer_, I would advise you to make sure that _this _expectant mother gets to the dining room in time for all her meals. As a _friend_, I would advise you to keep a tray of food in the room with you." And he winked at them.

Joren laughed out loud at Aron's playful humor. He was beginning to see the healer/knight as a true friend, which is something Joren never really had before. Vinson and Garvey had been his page and squire cronies, but their friendships had been based on a mutual desire to hurt and degrade other people. Zahir had distanced himself from Joren during their squire years. Joren felt a pang of regret when he realized that, other than Kel, Aron was the only friend he had. And he knew that they all had forged this strange new friendship only last night.

When Kel and Joren came out of the Chapel of the Chamber of the Ordeal the previous night and told Aron that Kel was pregnant, the healer/knight merely bent down, quickly examined her abdomen by using his Gift and nodded his head. He told them that the tiny twins seemed to be in good health and progressing normally - and he didn't lecture or pry for details. Aron had agreed to be the official witness at their elopement without comment and had helped them in more ways than they could count. Joren knew the future was not going to be easy, but both he and Kel had at least one real friend on which they could depend - even if he already knew enough about them that he could joke around about their intimate life.

While the men laughed, Kel turned a bright pink from head to toe. It also had occurred to Kel that Aron was too familiar with her intimate life, but then she got over it quickly because he really was a good healer _and_ a good friend. She knew that if _Neal _had been her healer, she already would have died of shame and embarrassment and Neal really might have killed Joren. Thinking of Neal made Kel think of Dom again and she wondered if she would ever be free of him. A shadow passed over her face.

Aron noticed Kel's expression and asked playfully, "What's the matter, Kel?" Then the healer reached over and felt her forehead. "You still feel a bit warm, but I suppose that's to be expected. Don't worry about the food, there's plenty more in the cupboard. Just ... don't forget to take a tray up with you tonight."

Kel nodded, but she punched Aron's arm because of his joke about the tray of food. "I feel like I'm hungry almost all of the time." _"Well, hungrier than I usually am."_

"You should eat regularly - but don't wolf down your food like you usually do. If you eat too fast or eat too much, you'll probably throw up." Aron smiled and poked his finger at her shoulder. "Just remember, I'll be waiting for you in the practice yard to help you get back in shape after the babes are born. My sister was with the Queen's Riders until she married and she told me a story about the ancient raka warrior women in the Copper Isles who would fight, deliver their babes and go right back to the battlefield. I don't know if that's really true, but you should try to stay fit for as long as you can. You can do your Yamani exercises and stretches for quite a while and I think they'll actually be good for you. Fight _only_ if it's absolutely necessary, but don't even _think_ about sparring or tilting."

Kel blinked. She had not yet started to think about what being pregnant would mean in her normal daily life. She barely had begun to think about what being married meant this morning. Everything would change. Everything _had_ changed already. There was no turning back from the course she and Joren now were on. Kel thought about the fact that there was so much to do and she didn't quite know what to do first. Her suddenly queasy stomach decided for her. _First_, she had to find the privy - and fast.

When Kel returned to the kitchen, Aron quipped, "_That's_ to be expected, too. Eat slower next time - no matter how hungry you are."

Joren slowly walked up behind Kel and circled her with his arms in a protective sort of way. Kel thought it was very sweet of him to do that and she leaned back into him, enjoying the feeling of being safe because of someone else's protection and not just because she knew how to fight for herself. She had seen Baron George hold Alanna in much the same way. She decided then to write to the Lioness and ask to talk privately with her as soon as possible. Kel hated the thought of having to admit to her hero that she was pregnant, but she also knew that Alanna was the only other person in the realm who had experience with the whole knight/wife/mother path that Kel was on now.

Aron smiled up at the seemingly happy couple and then he became the serious healer again. "Your queasiness _probably_ will last only a few months, but Kel, you should see a midwife while you're here in Corus. _Obviously_, I do not have much personal advice to give you. I think the reason both Martin and I misdiagnosed your fever is that most of our patients are soldiers - male soldiers. After you _told_ me that you were pregnant, all of your symptoms made sense. Neither of us thought to check for _that_."

Kel nodded, "Thank you, Aron, for all you've done for us. You are such a good friend and we are forever in your debt."

"And _I_ am especially grateful that you didn't try to kill me last night," Joren quipped. "There are many others who would _not_ have been so ... understanding. I might have to wear my armor all the time once word gets out that the beloved 'Protector of the Small' has eloped with _me._"

"You'll be alright." Aron laughed and said, "People _will _gossip, but your true friends will support you. Trust me, I know. Here's something else I know: our mountain villagers will be overjoyed to hear of your elopement - the common folk always thought the two of you should be together anyway. You remember how they love their songs and legends ... silver and stone and all that? Well, many of them are convinced that your union will bring even more prosperity to the mountains. They've been talking about it for months."

"Aron, how do you know all of this?" Kel asked. "Do people tell you these things when I'm not around?"

Aron chuckled and then his smoky-gray gaze turned thoughtful. He took a deep breath and spoke slowly. "My ... partner is a merchant. He's a very quiet and observant person, so he's basically my eyes and ears outside of the fort. Perhaps I can convince him to meet you soon. We generally prefer to keep to ourselves and travel to places where no one will bother us, but neither of us has ever thought about moving to someplace where we could be accepted openly. The mountains are our home. You can avoid a lot of trouble if you stay in the mountains. Anyway, he hears a lot of things that you and I would never hear."

Kel was amazed. This was the most about his personal life that Aron had ever shared with her. The fact that he would be so open with both her _and_ Joren signified to Kel that Aron trusted them now as much as they trusted him. They all had their secrets to keep for each other and that knowledge gave their friendship a different quality than any of her previous friendships. Kel thought about how strange her life had become since she moved to Fort Stonebridge. Maybe there really was something different about all that mountain air. Perhaps she and Joren should stay in the mountains and avoid a lot of trouble the way Aron and his partner did. Kel shook her head to clear her thoughts and realized that Aron was still talking.

"... and I think I should head back to the fort tomorrow, Kel. There's nothing going on that I can't handle. Everyone is looking forward to the Midsummer's festival at Stone Mountain next week, so I'll bet the barracks are fairly tame right now. Besides, General Vanget already expects you to be on leave for several more days. You can spend some time with your parents here before you bring them up to Stonebridge for their visit. They seem to be very _perceptive _people and I look forward to becoming more acquainted with them. I must say Kel, you look ... happier here today than I've seen you look in a long time, and so, as your healer, I think it will be good for you to stay in Corus and enjoy your privacy."

"Ah ... speaking of your parents, Kel," Joren considered the time of the day. "We really should go out and get them something now so that we won't show up for dinner empty-handed." _"Given our past history, it's impossible for me to make a good first impression, so I've got to start fresh with them just like I did with you. I know they were being polite for your sake last night, but I'm in big trouble - trouble you don't even know about yet."_

Kel slumped against Joren at the thought of being out and about where people would see them together. If it had been winter instead of summer, they would have been able to skulk around in hooded cloaks. As it was nearly midsummer, there would be lots of daylight and no place to hide.

"Yes, you're right, Joren." Kel agreed. "It's time for us to go out and face the world." _"And it's time to face the music with my parents. This is _not_ going to be a nice, relaxing evening."_

"I don't want you to think that I'm abandoning you two, but I think I'll head out in the morning," Aron's tone was playful again. "I won't be offended if you don't emerge from your room to bid me farewell. I'm certain that you'll be busy keeping in shape with all those _exercises_, so I'll just let myself out."

Kel would have punched Aron in the arm again for his suggestive comment but Joren held her back in his strong arms. She decided to relax and enjoy this moment of calm before the storm. Aron mentioned privacy, but Kel wasn't too sure about that. There was no telling what would happen after word of her elopement got out. So for now, standing in the privacy of their warm kitchen, Kel was simply a wife in the arms of her husband and they were a happy couple.

**

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A/N: I hope you liked this second half of the previous chapter. I meant to post it right after I put up the first part, but I decided to rework a few paragraphs and set up some more plot points. I look forward to hearing what you think about the character development so far. Thanks!


	31. Bloodlines

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Hopefully, this long chapter will help explain some OOC traits you've been seeing. A lot of pregnant women, like my version of Kel, have butt-kicking mood swings until they deliver. Sometimes they want to be left alone and then the next minute their libido goes into overdrive. It's very unpredictable. Anyway, there's more plot and character development, but no real fluff here. Sorry! ;D**

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"I don't think I want to bed anyone, Mama. We were just kissing, that's all."

_"Kissing may lead to more serious thing, my darling," Ilane said, cupping Kel's cheek in one cool, long-fingered hand. "A girl may be carried away. It's not always love. Lust may feel wonderful enough to be mistaken for love."_

_"I just want my shield," Kel whispered. "I'll deal with the rest later. The - complications."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

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* * *

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Bloodlines

While Joren sealed the messages announcing their elopement to certain important people, including his mother and General Vanget, Kel stood in the center of the grand foyer of the townhouse and took a good look around her. Dark, polished wood paneling lined the surface of every wall. All of the furnishings were as elegant as the ones in the castle at Stone Mountain. Above the marble hearth at the end of the dining room, there was a large painting which showed Joren as a beautiful little boy with his parents, Lord Burchard and Lady Virryn in their younger days. At that very moment, Kel truly comprehended that she had just married into one of the oldest and wealthiest families in all of Tortall. She started to feel slightly queasy again.

There was an ornately-framed mirror hanging on one of the walls and Kel stared at her reflection. She observed that her tall athletic frame still appeared to be fairly trim and fit. She was not wearing any face paint because it was so hot outside, but her cheeks had a naturally rosy tint from her higher body temperature. Kel had trimmed her sun-lightened, brown hair after the last caravan, so it was quite short. When she had decided to stay with her parents for the week, she also had planned to wear mostly shirts and breeches. Kel had packed only two dresses - the dress she wore for her elopement and the one she was wearing now. She looked down at her simple, light brown summer dress and she felt almost homely and out-of-place. Lalasa always pleaded with Kel to let her adorn Kel's dresses with fancier trim and more lace and such, but Kel had never seen the need for all of that. Now Kel wished she had paid more attention to the feminine aspects of her life.

Joren came out of the library and walked down the hall to where Kel was standing and wrapped his arms around her as he had done earlier when they chatted with Aron in the kitchen. He was wearing an unadorned, light gray tunic with a white shirt and white hose, but he still looked very handsome. Somehow, Kel thought, Joren could wear a potato sack and still manage to look elegant. She couldn't see what it was that Joren found so attractive about her. They both looked at each other in the mirror's reflection.

"You're beautiful, Joren," Kel said and her voice sounded like she was very far away. ""You've ... always been beautiful. I ... am ... I am not like you." _"Joren, we don't belong together. We _are_ together, but it's all wrong. Just look at you. I feel like a ... like a _cow_ standing next to you."_

Joren's smile faded and a dark look came into his eyes. He held Kel tighter and said, "Don't say that! _Never_ say that! I've hated being called 'beautiful' ever since I was a young boy. You have no idea how unbearable it was for me to know that people thought of me as being 'pretty.' My own grandfather once told me that it might have been better if I had been born a girl because my _beauty_ would have attracted betrothal offers from the finest families in Tortall. I _begged_ the gods for my whiskers to grow in early so that the comments would stop. Why do you think I wear a beard now?" _"I am _not _beautiful! Don't you dare start calling me that, too!"_

Kel remembered a fight in the stables back when they were pages. It was a fight that began when Neal mentioned something about Joren as being "so pretty" and Garvey being friends with him because of it. She thought it had been a fight over _her_ virtue due to other comments Joren's cronies made. Never before had Kel considered that Neal's remark actually could have _hurt_ Joren. She just thought he felt offended back then.

"I'm ... sorry, Joren," Kel apologized. "I didn't realize it bothered you. You've always worn your hair so _long_ and ... well ... may I just say that your _hair_ is beautiful?" She smiled at his reflection. _"Sorry, Joren, but you _look_ like you want people to notice your appearance. I still think you're a bit vain, but I suppose I would be vain, too ... if I looked liked you."_

Joren smile almost looked sad when he said, "Fine - but only my hair. Promise me, Kel - don't start off calling our sons beautiful, even if they are. I want them to have a different kind of life than the life I had growing up. Please ... don't call them beautiful." _"Growing up is hard enough. They don't need that extra torment." _

Kel nodded her agreement to Joren's plea. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the reflection of the Stone Mountain family portrait. She closed her eyes against the thoughts flooding back into her mind. _This_ was her family now, and she knew so little about them. She knew so little about how to be the type of wife people would expect Joren to have. Kel successfully fought back her tears of frustration.

"Kel, what's wrong?" Joren did not like the look on her face. "Should I fetch Aron?" _"I wonder what's happened. Why do you look so ... worried?"_

"No, I'm ... fine." Kel fibbed. She continued to stare at their reflection as she spoke. "It's just that ... my mother always lectured my sisters about their ... duties and responsibilities as noble wives. She left me alone because ... because we never thought I would be in the same position as my sisters. Joren, I ... I _loved_ our time together as husband and wife this morning. But you need to know that I am _completely_ unprepared to be your _Lady _- the Lady of Stone Mountain. I don't know if I can do all of this the way it's supposed to be done. I don't know how to be a _proper_ lady of the manor! I never wanted a title other than Lady Knight." _"And I certainly never wanted or imagined that _this _would become my life."_

Joren's heart sank. It was just what he had feared - Kel did not love him, yet. She merely was 'doing her duty as a wife' and Joren inwardly cursed Kel's overdeveloped sense of honor. He could see it in her eyes - she was considering all the aspects of their married life the same way she would approach a battle plan or a training exercise. She saw all the obstacles and possible points of ambush in their future social and home life together. Kel wanted be as good a wife as she was a knight, but it was not because she _loved_ him, rather it was because it was now part of her _mission_ in life. Joren released his hold on Kel and dropped his arms down to his sides.

"Kel ... _none_ of that matters ... to _me_," Joren's voice was tight. "I simply want you to love me and to love our children. The rest is just ... well, don't _worry _about it right now, I'm sure that my mother ..."

"Your _mother_!" Kel whirled around to face Joren and she looked angry. Joren took a step back. "Do you mean the woman who ... who did _this_ to us? The one who did this to _me_?" And she gestured at her belly. _"I know I said I would forgive her, but I don't know if I can be in the same room with her yet."_

Joren put his hands up at his sides in a gesture of surrender. Aron had warned him that pregnant women could be quite moody at times and Joren figured this must be one of those times. He tried to make his voice sound soothing. "Alright Kel ... let's leave now so that you will have more time to talk to your _own_ mother. That's probably the best thing to do, anyway. Are you ready?" _"Ouch! I had better send my mother another message to warn her to be on her best behavior when we return. I know _she's _overcome with joy that her plans are working out, but the Chamber was correct - my mother's most desired dream has become Kel's most feared nightmare." _

"No, I'm _not_ ready." Kel was still fuming. "But I don't get to make many more choices now, do I? There are _rules and customs,_ Joren, and I have to figure out how to follow them now." _"You just don't understand! Men have it so easy; it's not fair at all! If I was with Dom, none of this would be necessary, but no, I'm with _you_ and your cursed title, and all the obligations ... Gods! What have I done to deserve this complicated mess?"_

"Calm down, Kel," Joren sounded worried. "You ... _we_ ... don't have to figure it out right at this moment. Let's just go to your parents' house and hope for the best. We can talk about the other issues later." _"Much later. I truly don't care about rules and customs right now. I just want you to love me, Kel."_

Joren finally guided Kel through the door and out onto the cobblestone street. It was a balmy summer evening and Kel's parents did not live far from Joren's house, so they had decided to walk. Along the way, Joren pointed out several familiar family properties, such as the Naxen and the haMinch town homes. Kel noticed the grandeur of the stately houses. Her parents' home would seem quite modest compared to the homes in this part of the Palace District. Kel rarely gave any thought to bloodlines and social status, but the shock of her realizing the full impact of who she had married forced her to think about all of that now. She felt queasier, and it wasn't just because of being pregnant.

* * *

Baron Piers of Mindelan fixed his stony hazel eyes on Joren's somber face. They had finished dinner and were seated in Sir Piers' office in the townhouse. Kel and her mother, Lady Ilane had gone upstairs to talk separately. Sir Piers was not sure what to make of the tall blond man sitting across from him. His lasting memory of this Lord Joren of Stone Mountain was from his trial, when he had sneered at the judge and spit on the courtroom floor to show his disgust toward Kel and all she stood for. It was difficult for the short, stocky man to believe that this very wealthy, very spoiled lord could have changed so much. It was horribly confusing to him that his daughter actually married the man. Part of him wanted Joren to tell him the real reason for the quick elopement, but the other part was fairly certain he already knew the reason - and he was angry at the young lord.

Joren watched as Kel's father spread out on his desk the three personal letters Joren had sent to him over the past few months. Joren paled when he saw them. This was the trouble he had expected and he hoped for the right words to say to prevent his new father-in-law from killing him. Joren's gaze did not waver from Piers' face. He saw where Kel got her looks, especially her hazel eyes, her cool demeanor and her ability to keep a Yamani blank face. Kel's father was the ultimate diplomat.

"Lord Joren, I cannot adequately express my shock at receiving the message last night about your elopement with Keladry." Sir Piers began to speak in a calm, almost soothing tone of voice. "But I do appreciate your desire to include us in the actual ceremony. My wife is especially grateful for being allowed to witness the wedding of our youngest daughter. Your vows were particularly impressive. Do you recognize these letters?"

"Yes, Sir Piers," Joren replied. "I believe they are the letters I sent to you, requesting your consideration of a betrothal between Kel ... Keladry and me." _"So far, so good. There are no visible weapons, anyway."_

"I will be honest with you, sir," Piers continued. "I did not expect to hear from you again after my initial reply to your inquiry. The fact that you continued to write to me in the face of certain rejection is a testament to your persistence. The fact that you are still alive and sitting in this room with me is a testament to the faith I have in my daughter's judgment. Tell me, when did my daughter become pregnant? You are the father, yes?"

Joren gulped and was silent for a moment while he maintained solid eye contact with the older man. He cleared his throat and said, "I truly love Keladry with all my heart, sir. I would die for her. As to your question, sir, I believe it happened when we were together on the night of the spring equinox." _"Mithros help me! How did he know?"_

Piers continued as though he had read Joren's thoughts. "I have five daughters and four sons. This is not the first time my family has endured this type of situation. Kel worked extremely hard and she made tremendous sacrifices to be where she is today. I do not believe that my youngest daughter is well-suited to the lifestyle of a lace-tatting lady of the manor. What sort of lifestyle do you plan to have with Kel?"

"Baron Piers, I want Kel to be happy." Joren answered. "I accepted responsibility and apologized for the things I did and the way I treated Kel in the past. She forgave me, sir. Kel even helped me to recover my fighting skills after I got back on my feet. I have fought side by side with your daughter, sir, and she is indeed the finest knight I know. If Kel wants to be like Alanna the Lioness and continue to serve the realm as a knight, I will support her decision. Tortall needs her sword. I can afford to hire more staff to run my household, so that Kel would not be saddled with those responsibilities. I would only ask that she, like the Lioness, take some time off from her duties as a knight when our children are very young." _"Gods! This is almost as bad as being in the Chamber of the Ordeal. I hope he believes me and that he accepts my answers, or else I'm going to die tonight."_

"Lord Joren, I know that your parents were both very, very conservative." Piers narrowed his eyes slightly and asked, "Does Lady Virryn approve of and accept Kel as your wife?"

"Sir, my mother sees Kel as an important part of the future of Stone Mountain." Joren answered confidently. "My mother is not concerned with the past, or with her _former _viewpoint, especially since my father's death. She most definitely desires Kel to be my wife." _"Please don't ask for any details, sir. You definitely won't like what you hear, and I can't allow you to kill my mother for her deeds. That's between her and the Goddess."_

Piers merely nodded and asked the question Joren feared the most. "It is clear to me that you do love my daughter, but I have not seen much to convince me of her love for you. _Does_ Keladry love you, Joren?"

"Sir, I ... I hope that ... with time ... Kel will love me as love her." Joren answered slowly and carefully. "I have ... reason to believe that she does love me ... in her own way." _"Oh gods! He knows too much already!" _

"Well, Joren, I appreciate your candor and your ability to answer my questions truthfully." Piers softly cleared his throat and spoke in a much harsher tone than before. "However, you should be aware that if you ever, _ever_ harm my daughter in the ways you have done in the past, I will hunt you down and kill you myself. Welcome to our family." And then he reached out to clasp arms with Joren.

"I understand, sir. Thank you, sir." That was all Joren could say as he felt the strength in Sir Piers grip. _"It looks like I just might live to see another day."_

"While we wait for our wives to return, let's talk about something pleasant. I have never been to Stone Mountain. Kel has written that the mountain views are spectacular. Please tell me about your home." Piers requested in a friendly tone and Joren complied, relieved that the interrogation was over and that he had survived it in one piece.

* * *

Lady Ilane of Mindelan closed her bedroom door, turned to Kel and hugged her. Then she held her youngest daughter at arm's length and looked at her from head to toe. She nodded when she saw the pinkish fever-flush in Kel's face and subtle changes that no one else would have noticed. Her eyes filled with tears and she hugged Kel again in a tighter embrace.

"Oh, Keladry! You're pregnant!" Ilane's deep musical voice had a slight waver of emotion to it. "How did this happen? Of course, I_ know_ how this sort of thing can happen ... but _why _did this happen between you and Joren? He seems to love you very much, but you don't seem to love him in the same way. Am I correct?"

Kel gasped. "Mama! How did you know? I'm trying so ... I want to love him, and I do love him in a certain way, but ... I don't know how to explain it all. Mama, what am I supposed to do? I married Joren to _protect_ our children, but I don't know what to do!" Then she began to sob into her mother's shoulder. _"This is awful! How did she know?"_

Ilane held Kel in her arms and let her cry herself dry. Then she led her to the edge of the bed, made her sit down and poured a cup of cool cider for her. She rubbed her daughter's back and soothed her with soft sounds until Kel seemed calm again. Then she began to speak.

"Kel, you _eloped_ with Joren of Stone Mountain, a man who has been a bully to you since you first started training for knighthood." Ilane spoke slowly. "I know that there can be ... great _passion_ ... between people who seem to hate one another. Things can ... and do ... happen when you ..."

"Mama," Kel interrupted, "Are you ... disappointed in me? This isn't how you raised me to be. I wish I could ..." _"I'm doing this all wrong!"_

"No, Kel! We love you no matter what you do." Ilane continued. "You are an adult in your own right, Kel. Your father and I are grateful that you wanted us to be there for you last night. It was so very late and you looked exhausted. However, you did not seem to be in any danger or under any compulsion, so we knew this was your own choice. Of course we suspected _something_, but it is best not to pry unless there are problems. Do you know when ... when you conceived? And did I hear you correctly - did you say _children_? Kel, are you pregnant with _twins_?"

Kel nodded, took a big gulp of air and began to tell her mother everything that had happened between her and Joren. She began by describing her first meeting with Joren after he woke up from his Deep Sleep and continued through to the events of the past few hours. When Kel glossed over what she felt were the sordid parts of her story, she sensed that her mother understood that which she did not say. She left out many details, but when Kel explained what Joren's mother had done to facilitate the pregnancy, Ilane's facial expression grew increasingly grim.

Ilane's voice was hard when she finally spoke. "Lady Virryn seems to have chosen wisely, Kel. We _are_ a fertile family. However, I shall speak with her when we visit Stone Mountain. This whole affair may be Goddess-touched, but the fact that Joren's mother actually _planned _this pregnancy without your knowledge or consent is inexcusable. The only encouraging thing is that Joren really loves you. And, darling, I'm _thrilled_ that you had a good wedding 'night' but Kel, sex, no matter how good it is, cannot become the only thing binding you to Joren. Marriage itself can be difficult enough, but a marriage without love from_ both _sides is harder still."

"Mama, is this the kind of talk you've had with my sisters?" Kel asked. "I feel so unprepared for my new life. Will you help me? Would you stay with me for a while and teach me the things I don't know how to do? I can't do this alone and I just can't place myself in Lady Virryn's hands." _"I don't think I could bear her help. I need you, Mama!'_

Ilane considered Kel's heartfelt plea and agreed to speak with her father about an extended stay. So much of their schedule depended on the birth of Princess Shinkokami's second child and when the princess' mother would return to the Yamani Islands. Meanwhile, Ilane sat with Kel, stroking her short hair.

"I guess I'm officially old now that my _youngest _daughter will be a mother herself!" Ilane exclaimed. Then she sighed and spoke softly, "I only wish it was ... well, under better circumstances for you, Kel. You were too young to remember your oldest sister's first pregnancy. And you certainly never knew about _my_ first pregnancy. Anders was an 'early babe' - as so many firstborns are - and we didn't die from shame. On the contrary, we simply continued on from there. Of course, we had been betrothed for a while, so no one really cared. Your father and I have been very fortunate, but only because we _both_ love each other deeply. Real love can overcome anything and I sense that Joren's love for you is real, Kel. He has been pressing your father for a marriage betrothal or blessing or something for several months and I don't think it's just because he thought you were pregnant."

Kel just stared at her mother in amazement and could not speak. _"This is unreal! 'Early' babies and Joren's betrothal offers, too?_ _My world continues to be turned upside down and sideways!"_

"Kel, do you remember the talk we had back when Cleon of Kennan was courting you?" Ilane asked and Kel nodded. "You couldn't believe I actually suggested that you get a pregnancy charm. I assumed that you always remembered to wear it then, and with any other lovers you may have had later. This pregnancy was not your fault, but since you have accepted the fate the gods have determined for you, I hope you will be able to find happiness within your decision."

"But, Mama ... why me?" Kel's voice was full of anguish. "Why did the gods do this to me?" _"I just can't understand it!"_

"Who knows why they do what they do?" Ilane replied. "Yet, in spite of what Lady Virryn did, you have a husband who really loves you, Kel. Many women are not so fortunate in that way. Besides, it sounds like you two might actually _enjoy_ yourselves while you learn how to love Joren. Just take it one day at a time, darling. That's what your father and I still do and it's worked out fine for us." Then she gave Kel a squeeze around her shoulders.

Kel was overcome by her emotions once more and could only tell her mother she loved her before the tears spilled out again. Ilane gently rocked her 'baby' in her arms until Kel settled down enough to drink some more cider. Then it was time to go back downstairs and rejoin the men. While they were on the stairs, Ilane quietly chatted with Kel.

"How are you handling being a living oven?" Ilane asked. "Your father tried as hard as he could to keep me somewhat cool, especially when I was carrying you summer-born babies. That was the most vexing part of it. Well, that and the constant crying. I've never cried so much as when I was newly pregnant. Your father couldn't wait until I was further along and the quick tears stopped."

"You mean ... this crying doesn't last the _whole_ time?" Kel's hopes rose up a bit. _"Please, oh please, oh please!"_

"Goddess, no!" Ilane exclaimed and she turned back to face Kel as they continued to descend the stairs. "Otherwise, there would be only one child born to every couple - or two if they had twins. Kel, if you're anything like me or your sister, and I believe that you are, you _will_ feel better soon. Ha! Ha! Then Joren will have to hide because you will want him so oft..." Kel's mother rarely blushed, but she did just then because Piers and Joren were standing at the bottom of the stairs now. Actually, all four of them - Kel, Joren, Ilane and Piers - had a healthy pink glow on their faces. And then they all laughed.

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Mithros, the Great Goddess and Yama all looked at one another as they waited for the right moment to do their next task. Together, they would create a new island over which Yama would cast her protection. When they all were ready, Mithros began to push.

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That night, there was an earthquake in the Yamani Islands where two great land masses pushed together and heaved themselves out of the waters. Amazingly, there were no deaths, but the devastation to all the harbors was intense. The Yamani Emperor advised all of the ambassadors and their staffs to return to their home countries and stay there for at least the next year, and possibly two years, until the islands were stable again. The Tortallan ambassador and his wife had returned to their homeland already. The Emperor was glad - that meant one less embassy to evacuate.

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A/N: Well, that's the "Meet the Parents" chapter. Next up: dealing with the friends. I am toying with the idea to do a sort of song-fic in one of the last chapters. Does anyone know if it's okay to do it that way? I look forward to your reviews and comments. Thanks!


	32. On the Curtain Wall

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine.**

**A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I know your comments are making a difference in my writing. Anyway, here's some more plot and character development stuff. I hope you like it!**

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One March Sunday, Kel climbed the curtain wall. She wasn't sure how long she had been sketching the ground between the palace's Least Gate and Corus when she realized she had company. Joren was draped on a merlon beside her, very much at his ease.

_"I thought you were afraid of heights," he remarked when she looked at him._

_Kel let no hint of her uncertainty, confusion, and irritation with him show through her Yamani facade. "I am," she replied at last, and went back to her mapping._

_"You don't look it."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

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On the Curtain Wall

"Oof! Phew! Oof! Aagh! Oof! Phew! Oof! Aagh!"

Kel woke up to the sounds of Joren's grunting and panting. She was quite disappointed to discover that Joren wasn't wrapped around her when she awoke. Despite her mother's warnings, Kel had hoped that this morning would be a repeat of the previous morning. She slept in Joren's bed again, but he was adamant that they get their rest. And since both of them were still so tired, they fell asleep in each other's arms and slept all the way through until morning again. Kel sat up in the bed and watched Joren, who was on the floor, doing what looked like the exercises she normally did every morning - almost, but not quite right.

"What are you doing?" Kel asked. _"You're going to hurt yourself if you keep doing it that way."_

"I'm exercising." Joren replied through his gritted teeth. "Just like you do. I learned these moves from you when the Chamber forced me to 'visit' you." Then he continued curling up his body from the floor and trying to reach his toes. _"There was no way was I going to give in to you this morning or any other morning - or night. I can wait until you love me, Kel. That's something else the Chamber forced me to learn. I can wait a long, long time."_

"I don't think so." Kel said as she observed Joren do a few more repetitions of the unfamiliar exercise and shook her head. "That's not like any of the exercises I do." _"I'd better get up and show you how to do them the _right_ way."_

"What do you mean?" Joren slowed his pace. "I had to endure morning after morning of you doing _this _exercise. It was torture then and it's torture now." _"Don't try to tell me what I experienced - I know what it felt like."_

Kel threw back the covers and got out of bed. She did a few warm-up stretches and when she felt limber enough, she sat down next to the bed. Then she positioned her feet so that her toes were held in place by the wooden slats of the bed frame, and began to do a series of abdominal crunch sit-ups. She was able to keep a good pace and barely broke a sweat. When Kel had completed fifty or so quick repetitions, she rested for a moment and then began a new set of alternating crossover crunches.

Joren stopped what he was doing and watched Kel. Now that he saw her method, he realized that what he had been doing all this time was completely inefficient in comparison. Joren sat down next to Kel and copied exactly what she was doing. He couldn't believe the difference a little support made. When Kel switched to push-ups, Joren copied those, too. Kel went through her entire series of exercises - minus the glaive work - with Joren shadowing her every move. When she finished, Joren just looked at her strangely.

"Kel, that was ... amazing! No wonder you're so ... so ... _fit_!" Joren's voice revealed his admiration. "I thought I did the exercises right, but my 'visits' must not have shown me the complete picture. "_Mithros! I knew you were strong, Kel, but now I see the reason why. You're not even breathing hard!"_

"I still have to do my pattern dances, but you should know that the Shang warriors do far more than what we just did." Kel replied, looking around for some water to quench her thirst. "I learned those moves from Eda Bell a long time ago." _"That's right - while you _boys _were sleeping in, I was working my behind off."_

Joren noticed Kel looking around and guessed that she wanted some water. He knew that's what he wanted, too. When he opened the door to call for a servant, he saw something that made him chuckle. Aron had placed a tray of fruit and rolls and a pitcher of water outside of Joren's bedroom door before he went back to Fort Stonebridge. The healer/knight left them a note saying he figured it might slip their minds to bring up a tray when they went to bed, so this was his parting gift to them. His note also reminded Kel to eat slowly, and _not _to hurry back to the fort. Joren was still smiling when he brought the tray into the room and watched Kel's face light up with surprise and gratitude. Then he suggested that she skip her glaive work because they had so much to do to get ready for the day. Today, they were going to the palace.

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News of Kel and Joren's elopement swept through the palace like wildfire. The King's Council was having its summer session, so a lot of very important people were in town, including Alanna the Lioness and Kel's boss, General Vanget. The palace also was full of other nobles and their ladies who had arrived in Corus for the following week's midsummer festival. There was a large stack of messages waiting for Kel and Joren when they had returned from their dinner with Kel's parents the previous night. Most of them were notes of congratulations from friends and well-wishers, but a few of them - from Raoul, Neal, and Faleron - were urgent pleas for Kel to come to the palace and explain what was going on. Joren and Kel decided that it would be best if they just went to the palace and let people see them together. Almost everyone they wanted or needed to talk to was there anyway.

Joren and Kel slipped in through the Least Gate of the palace during the time of the midday meal. The newlywed couple had planned their arrival to coincide with the part of the day when the fewest number of people would be out and about. They immediately stabled their horses and were relieved to discover that both Stefan and Tobe were having their lunch at the servants' hall. When Joren saw the stairs that led up to the walkway of the curtain wall, he grabbed Kel's hand and quickly led her up to the more private space so that they could catch their breath and figure out where to go next. He guessed that she still didn't like heights, so they sat down on a stone bench that hid the view from them.

"I feel like we're sneaking in after curfew," Kel giggled. "Hoping that Lord Wyldon won't catch us and give us detention." _"If _I _had ever done that, he probably would have thrown me out."_

Joren looked at her quizzically. "Did _you_ ever do that? Sneak back in after curfew?" _"I know _I _did that quite a bit. But you? Was this back when Cleon was courting you?"_

"Gods, no! But I know plenty of pages who did." Kel replied. "I got more than enough detention for committing other ... infractions." _"Such as brawling with you."_

Joren watched Kel's face turned thoughtful. She stood up, walked over to the wall and looked out at the view. Living in the mountains had changed Kel's perspective on being up in high places. Joren watched her move and he thought of that song he heard at the inn about there being no one to 'protect the Protector.' He stood up and wrapped his arms around her from behind where she was standing. Kel closed her eyes and leaned back into Joren's embrace. This was becoming his favorite way to hold Kel - he felt that he was protecting her and giving her someplace to rest.

Joren spoke softly into Kel's ear. "You know, there was a day ... back when you were still a page. I followed you here ... to this very same place. You were making yourself look over the wall to conquer your fear of heights and you were sketching or something." _"I could hold you like this forever."_

"I remember," Kel interrupted, still enjoying being wrapped in Joren's comfortable, safe hug. "I remember you told me I didn't _have_ to become a knight. You said I should marry someone like Cleon or Lord Raoul and raise young giants." _"And I hoped you would get your head out of your behind."_

"I almost ... I really wanted to ... to kiss you that day." Joren confessed, his low voice sending thrills up and down Kel's spine. "There you were, all alone ... with me. I fought with myself over it because ... I hated the part of me that wanted ... wanted to know what you tasted like and ... and how your lips would feel against mine. You always had smiles for your friends, but for me ... there was only your Yamani Lump face." _"We were ... still enemies then."_

Kel didn't say anything. She just let her memories of that strange episode swirl around in her head and wondered what would have happened if Joren had acted on his impulses back then. Would she have fought him? Or would she have kissed him back? Would that have changed the course of their vengeful history? Would Joren have left Lalasa alone? Kel knew there were no answers to her questions. The past was the past. Joren had become a different person - he loved her now. There was no point in dwelling on their violent experiences together. She realized that she just wanted to let go of all the bad memories of Joren and make new, happy ones with him.

Kel stayed in Joren's embrace and looked out at the horizon. They stood there on the curtain wall for a long time, letting the strong breeze cool them, until suddenly Kel got the urge to turn around and kiss Joren. She acted on her impulse this time and kissed him gently on his lips. He was somewhat taken by surprise, but he kissed her back and soon their kissing became deeper and more passionate. Kel was glad that Joren was holding her because her knees felt very wobbly at that moment. Joren was elated that Kel had initiated such a kiss. The rest of their thoughts were chased away by the heat and desire that threatened to push them beyond their kissing.

"Ahem!" The couple jumped apart as someone close by cleared his voice.

"Neal!" Kel exclaimed and her old friend strolled closer to them. _"Oh gods! Here we go! Please be your_ charming _self, Joren."_

"So ... it's really true," Neal drawled and gazed at the shiny bands on their ring fingers. "You two are ... _married_. Congratulations to you ... Lord Joren. Kel, may the gods all bless and keep you. I wish you both all the happiness in the world." And he bowed toward them.

"Thank you," Joren just nodded politely. Neal was being rather stiff, but Joren was not expecting a warm welcome from any of Kel's friends. He just hoped to make it out of the palace alive at the end of the day.

"How did you know where to find us?" asked Kel. "We were trying to be ... discreet." _"If _you've _found us, then the others can't be far behind you."_

"If you wanted to be discreet, then you should _not_ have been standing in a place where everyone can see you," Neal gestured for them to look down over the wall. "Tobe spotted you from the stables and ran to get me. I couldn't believe it, but here you are - on a _high_ ledge ... with your ... your new _husband_. Will wonders never cease?"

Kel and Joren peered over the wall and saw a small crowd of people standing there - looking up at them. Kel gave them a tiny smile and a tiny wave of her hand and them went back to the stone bench to sit down. Her face was bright pink. Joren sat down next to her and held her hand. Kel looked up as Neal began to speak to them.

"I'm trying to be polite here," Neal began, "Especially because Yuki will skin me alive if she finds out I was rude, but I have to admit that this is ... _very _shocking. A lot of people are in shock over this. How ... why ... _what happened_?"

Joren did not move, but he squeezed Kel's hand a bit tighter and smoothly said, "Queenscove, I was in shock myself when I fell in love with Kel. I'm sure you must have experienced _some_ level of shock when you fell in love with _your _wife. Love can be shocking - that's part of the fun of it." And then he lifted Kel's hand up to his lips and lovingly kissed it. _"Alright, I guess I'll just have to be a bit of a Player and really show off my love for you today, Kel. People only believe what they can see." _

Neal's voice became hard and cold. "What's shocking, _Lord _Joren is that it took you so long to do it, but you _finally _achieved your goal of ruining Kel's career."

"Neal! Getting married won't _ruin _my career!" Kel protested. "Sir Alanna is married and she's _always _been the King's Champion. And General Vanget ..."

Neal interrupted Kel. "General Vanget is meeting with the council right now to determine who will replace you as the commander of Fort Stonebridge!"

Kel was dumbfounded. She let go of Joren's hand and stood up. Her fists were in tight balls and the color drained from her face as she looked Neal in the eyes.

"_What _are you talking about, Neal?" Kel's voice was quiet, but filled with anger. _"This had better not be some kind of joke, because it's not funny at all."_

Neal replied coldly. "Ask your _husband_ about his ancestor's _incident _with the king's mines at Stonebridge."

Now Joren's face went pale and he stood up next to Kel. Neal was referring to a mostly forgotten time when his great-great-great-grandfather, Lord Kieran of Stone Mountain decided that the Stonebridge mines should belong to Stone Mountain, as they had in ancient times. There was a bit of a skirmish, but the king's troops repelled Lord Kieran's soldiers and the realm retained control of the mines. Stone Mountain was punished with heavy fines for the next fifty years and the fief was no longer allowed to have more than a small number of men-at-arms. That's why they depended on Stonebridge's regular army garrison of soldiers for protection for their caravans. The mountain folk didn't care to dwell on that part of their past and people rarely mentioned the incident because everyone thought Lord Kieran had been a little crazy anyway. Joren hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose while Kel waited for him to speak.

Joren turned to Kel and began to explain, "Kel ... Neal is referring to ...there was a time when ..." _"Mithros! Now my _family's _past is coming back to haunt me and it's going to hurt you. I'm so sorry, Kel."_

"Don't ... don't bother telling me. I remember now." Kel stopped Joren with her stony voice. "I _know _the history of the fort. I read everything I could get my hands on before I took command of Stonebridge. Neal, if you are referring to Lord Kieran's attempted _- and unsuccessful_ - takeover, that's practically ancient history. Why would that matter today?"

"Bad blood, Kel. Joren's father was not well-liked and he made a number of enemies on the council." Neal voice softened as he started to explain. "Even _if _Joren became the most generous and kind lord of the realm, some men will never trust him. Some of these same men have raised a fuss about the _wife _of the Lord of Stone Mountain commanding the fort at the long-ago contested silver mines. Time does not erase what is written on the scrolls of history. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that ... that they're going to ask you to ... step down. It's not fair to you, but you're going to have to relinquish your command, Kel."

Kel's eyes were now filled with tears she was fighting to hold back. She sat back down on the bench and her face went blank. Kel's voice was barely a whisper, "But I would _never_ ... I've served the king with honor ... this is ..." _"Goddess help me! Neal is right ... they won't trust me now that I'm married to _you_, Joren."_

"This is wrong!" Joren stepped closer to Neal. "Kel is the epitome of a loyal and trustworthy knight. We both know that _she_ has done nothing wrong." _"This is very bad! I'm so sorry, Kel!"_

"Yes, well, your elopement so soon after the discovery of _new _silver veins in the mines has caused some suspicion." Neal looked at Joren through narrowed eyes and continued, "A takeover doesn't have to involve violence. A well-placed marriage might prove quite _convenient_ to the House of Stone Mountain."

"This is completely ridiculous! I _swear _by Mithros- I did _not _marry Kel in order to take over the mines!" Joren could barely control his rage over Neal's insinuations about his motives for marrying Kel. _"I don't care about the mines! I make more money than the realm does with my family's trade in stone."_

Neal fired back, "Alright, Joren, why _did _you marry Kel?"

"I love Kel!" Joren exclaimed. "I love her with all my heart! She's going to have my -" Joren stopped himself before the word got out of his mouth, but Neal was too perceptive and his eyes widened with surprise. _"No! This just keeps getting worse and worse! Now Neal's going to know. I'm so very sorry, Kel!_

Neal's head whipped around and he asked her the dreaded question, "Kel, are you ... are you _pregnant_?"

They all heard a gasp and turned their heads toward the top of the stairway. Lord Raoul had been waiting for his chance to interrupt the discussion. The council had made their decision and had sent him to find the new Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain. Alanna received permission to speak privately with Kel before she had to report to the Council, so Raoul promised to bring the couple to her as soon as possible. Kel made eye contact with her former knight master and she knew that he had heard everything. Raoul _knew_. Then Kel dropped her head into her hands on her lap and began to cry.

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A/N: Comedy! Fluff! Drama! What more could you ask for? Let me know. Thanks! ;D


	33. Alanna's Advice

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine.**

**A/N: I love those wonderful reviews! Many thanks to all of you who contribute. I think the story is better because of your input. Enjoy! :D**

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For a long moment Raoul scratched Jump's ear. At last he said, "I hear this from women of the Queen's Riders, the ones who want to command. Men who join the Riders are able to fight alongside females, or they don't last. But what the women say is that if they take Rider men as lovers, and it's found out, they encounter trouble. Men who dislike their orders offer to work it out in bed. Jealousies spring up, particularly if the woman and the man are in the same Rider group. If the woman is in command and the man isn't, they're both mocked by other men and the woman gets treated like a trollop."

_Kel looked down. "Sir -"_

_"Nobody makes men surrender private life when they take up arms, Kel," Raoul said, filing their cups. "We only ask that such lives happen off duty. It's more complicated for women. It's not fair, but I think you already know the world isn't."_

_-- Tamora Pierce, __Squire_

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Alanna's Advice

Kel was numb and could barely form a coherent thought. After she broke down in tears over the thought of Lord Raoul being disappointed in her, Joren went back to her to hold her until she settled down. Neal and Raoul exchanged glances. Never in a million years would either of them have expected to witness the scene in front of their eyes. Raoul reassured Kel that he did not think less of her for what had happened and she could tell that he really meant it. As far as Raoul was concerned, Kel's business was her own and he only wished her happiness with Joren - if that's what she really wanted. Neal apologized for acting as though Joren had committed a crime by marrying Kel. Neal explained that he was only upset because he did not understand how Kel could have eloped and not given her friends and family the chance to celebrate her marriage. Then Raoul decided that it would be best for them to take Kel to Alanna as soon as possible. The men would continue their own discussion with Joren while the lady knights conferred with one another.

Neal took the small group down a seldom-used back way to get to the part of the palace where the Cooper's chambers were. George had accompanied Alanna to Corus to attend the Midsummer's balls with her, but he exited their rooms when Raoul escorted Kel in. He was going out to have a chat with Joren about life with a lady knight. George winked at Alanna as he shut the door behind him and she grinned widely back at him. Then the two lady knights of Tortall sat across from one another at a small table in the room George used as his office whenever he and Alanna stayed at the palace. Kel stared ahead blankly while Alanna did most of the talking.

"I suppose Raoul told you about the Council's decision," Alanna began.

Kel could only nod her head. Her mouth wouldn't move for her. Her Yamani mask was firmly in place again, but Alanna was worried about the haunted look in the younger woman's eyes.

Alanna continued, "I'm very sorry, Kel. I argued and ranted and threatened to quit _again_, but I couldn't win this battle for you. This time it's the so-called progressives who don't want anyone too closely related to Stone Mountain to be in charge of protecting the silver mines. They're afraid you might turn over the keys to the fort to Lord Joren just because you're married to him now. Men are such fools! I believe they voted to have Sir Faleron of King's Reach take over for you as soon as possible. Apparently, he's getting married in the autumn, and they want him to be settled into command before he brings his bride to the fort. I'll bet they didn't check _his _betrothed's family tree for dangerous ancestors."

"Faleron? Faleron of King's Reach? He's one of my closest friends!" Kel softly exclaimed, shaking off her stupor. "Is Faleron here at the palace now?" _"No wonder Faleron sent me a maessage that he urgently wanted to see me!"_

"I believe so, because the General interviewed several candidates while the Council was meeting. Kel, you seem ... almost _relieved _to hear of this." Alanna observed.

"I ... guess I am." Kel was surprised at herself. "Since _I'm_not allowed to command the fort, then it's good to know that the new person is someone I already like and respect. I know Faleron will do a good job, too. And the woman to whom he is betrothed is one of my cousins." _"At least I'll have good neighbors."_

"_Your cousin_?" Alanna's voice was filled with sarcasm. "That figures. I wonder if they'll worry about _your_ relative handing the keys to fort back to you. Humph ... I know they won't. The gods certainly have a funny sense of humor."

"They haven't seemed very funny to me." Kel turned sober again. "They keep giving me impossible choices to make. And every time I make a choice, it comes back to bite me." _"It just keeps going from bad to worse to ... I don't want to think about what's next."_

"It's ... difficult ... to be touched by the gods. Believe me, I_ know._" Alanna spoke softly to Kel, even though the room had powerful anti-eavesdropping spells. "When the Great Goddess appeared to me this morning, she informed me of your ... _situation_. I know this is hard for you to understand and accept, Kel, but the union between you and Joren has become an important part of the gods' plans for the future safety of our realm. That knowledge won't make any of this easier, but at least you should know that there is no malice behind their actions."

"I never ... _asked _to be part of any divine plans." Kel said, astounded that the Goddess had spoken directly to Alanna about her. "I just wanted to be a knight - a good knight." _"Why couldn't the gods use someone else?"_

"You should talk to George about all the _lovely_ adventures he has had with the trickster god." Alanna tried to sound lighthearted. "Be glad _Kyprioth_ hasn't been involved in your life. Trust me, my daughter's path in life would be _much_ different if that god had not intervened. Different, but perhaps less ... enjoyable."

"Why do the gods have to meddle at all?" Kel's voice sounded hollow. "My life was already enjoyable. But now I am married to a man I never would have considered marrying, and I am carrying children I never would have planned to bear, and I am losing a command I never would have given up voluntarily. Why did the gods decide to ruin _my_ life?" _"I was living the life_ I_ chose to live. Why did they choose to pick on me?"_

"Kel, I don't know all the answers," said Alanna. "The Goddess simply told me that your children are important to the realm. She also said that your love for your husband is important to the realm. I don't quite understand that, but today I am merely a messenger. Kel, can you love your husband, even though being with him will take your life in a different direction than the one you planned for yourself?"

"I ... I ... _am _trying ... to love him," Kel said and she placed her hands on her abdomen. "But every time I think I'm making progress, something else bad happens. I'm sure I can love these children - and I'll raise them to be good warriors since that's what the gods seem to want from me. I can do that much, but I don't _know _if I can make myself love Joren right now. It's because of _him_ and his family - _my_ family now - that I can't keep my command!" _"If Dom had married me, nobody would have noticed us. Our life would have been a private life."_

"That's a good, honest answer, Kel." Alanna stood up and walked over to the window. "I'll tell you the truth; there was a time when I refused to love either Jon or George. Love can cause a lot of grief. My life was ... alright ... but not great. _Love _makes up for a lot of grief, too."

"When did you ... once you made your choice ..." Kel stammered through her question. "How did you ... _stop_ loving the one ... and only loved ... the other?" _"How do I stop loving Dom? How can I ever trust Joren enough to love him back?"_

Alanna chuckled and turned to face Kel. "I simply ... _decided_. Honestly, it was and still is George's complete and unconditional love for me that has made my choice easy and lasting. Obviously, King Jonathan and I haven't been able to distance ourselves from one another the way you are away from Dom. Yes, I know about that, too. Anyway, George lets me be who I am meant to be and we figure things out as we go along. I think your Joren has the look of a man who loves you in that same way, Kel."

Kel looked into Alanna's concerned violet eyes and nodded. "I know Joren loves me, even though it took the Chamber of the Ordeal _seven years_ to convince him to choose to be with me. I just can't ... I wish I knew why ... why Dom _didn't_ choose me. My life would be so much easier if Dom had chosen to come back to me." _"Why didn't Dom love me enough to choose me?"_

Alanna looked at the grieving lady knight in front of her and her own heart almost broke. Her face was frozen in the Yamani blank stare the Lioness had seen so often when Kel worked for her. Kel still had her hands on her abdomen as though she was trying to hold herself together and silent tears were streaming down her face. Alanna took a deep breath and placed her hand on Kel's shoulder and began to speak calmly to her.

"Kel, I only know this from speaking with Raoul when he was grieving over Dom's decision not to return to Tortall. You know, he went to the Yamani Islands to try to talk him into coming back. When he was first rescued, Dom never expected to have contact with or to see Tortall ever again. He did not realize where he was or how close he was to being able to come home. Dom told Raoul that after the warlord rescued him, he felt obligated to serve him. At his lowest point, when his body was broken, the warlord's daughter lovingly tended to him. They couldn't even communicate with words, but he came to appreciate _everything _that family did to help him recover. Kel, it's true that Dom didn't choose to come back to you, but it wasn't because he didn't love you enough. Dom only learned that he could have made a different choice _after_ he had committed his life to the warlord and _after _he had married the man's daughter. By the time anyone in Tortall found out he was alive, Dom had become Yamani. Knowing men the way I do, Kel, I'm sure that part of him will always love you. I know Jon still loves me in his own way. But we each made our choices - good choices, the _best_ choices - and our lives are richer for us being committed to those decisions."

"Dom really didn't ... _know_?" Kel asked in a surprised tone and wiped away her tears. "He was ... _already married_ when Raoul found him?" _"Oh gods! That means he might have ..."_

"_Raoul _didn't find him." Alanna explained. "Once Dom was bound to Tsakuyo's daughter, the warlord told him where he was and contacted Raoul on Dom's behalf. _Then_ Raoul went to see him. I thought Dom sent you a letter, too."

"He didn't tell me everything," Kel replied. "He ... he didn't tell me that he really didn't know where he was when he got married." _"I can't believe he didn't tell me this in his letter!"_

Alanna gasped in dismay, "Kel, have you been thinking all this time that Dom _consciously _chose the Yamani woman over _you_?"

"All this time ..." echoed Kel. _"I've wasted all this time being sad for no good reason." _

"No wonder the Goddess wanted me to talk to you." Alanna shook her head in amazement. "Men can be such _idiots _at times - leaving out important details, giving us half of a story, telling us what they think we want to hear. Give me the whole truth and nothing but the truth. _That's _something I can work with even if it hurts!"

Kel felt like a ton of weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She felt ... free. Dom had chosen to live his new life before he knew he had a choice to return to his old life. Dom didn't choose Kyoko _instead _of her; he thought he was making the only choice available to him. Now Kel felt a little glimmer of hope that she might be able to love Joren the same way he loved her. Like Alanna, she just had to ... _decide_.

"Alanna, what about my life as a knight?" Kel asked, afraid of the answer. "What am I supposed to do now?" _"Will I have to give up everything I've worked for all these years?"_

"Oh, Kel, you'll _always _be a knight of the realm. You probably will command again someday - just not at Stonebridge." Alanna sounded apologetic. "For now, you will be considered a knight errant; free to wander and find adventures on your own or just to fight when and where you're needed. I did that for a while, too. I know it's not command, Kel, but I think you'll _need_ to take a break in the not too distant future anyway. Twins are an adventure all by themselves. Welcome to _my _world!" Alanna bent down to hug Kel and Kel hugged her back.

Kel felt a small jolt in her abdomen and the surprised look on her face told Alanna that something had just happened. Having 'been there and done that' a couple of times, Alanna just smiled knowingly.

"Is this the first time you've felt the babes fluttering around?" Alanna asked.

Kel nodded and put her hands on her belly again, "Yes, I ... they're really ... _there_, aren't they?" _"My happy little tadpoles!"_

"Ha! Ha! Kel, you don't know how lucky you are to be so tall!" Alanna laughed. Then she pulled Kel up out of her chair and tugged at the hem of Kel's tunic to inspect her belly. "When I was carrying _my_ twins, they popped my belly right out. It was embarrassingly obvious that I was pregnant from the very earliest stage."

"How do you think the Council will react to this bit of news?" Kel asked worriedly. "I don't know how much more my reputation can take." _"They might just fire me next."_

"Bah! Don't tell them - it's none of their business anyway." Alanna scoffed. "They've already found your replacement, so just make yourself comfortable at Stone Mountain and don't worry about it. People flapped their lips when I was sleeping with Jon a hundred years ago, but neither of us has died of shame. When word of your pregnancy gets out - and it won't come from _my _lips - hold your head up high and ignore the comments." Then Alanna said something quite unladylike about what nosy busybodies could do to themselves and laughed.

"I need to take you to see the General now, Kel," Alanna straightened her own tunic and looked at Kel. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Kel nodded. "Alanna, thank you. I don't know what I would have done if I had been forced to see the General first. You _saved _me today and I'll never forget this." Kel had tears in her eyes again, but they were not sad tears.

"Kel, you're very special to me," Alanna grasped Kel's shoulders and looked up at her. "You're my 'other daughter' and I'll do _whatever _I can to help you in the days to come. Just let me know what you need and I'll be there for you."

Kel smiled gratefully at Alanna and said, "One last thing before we go ... how _did_ you manage everything with your twins?" _"I'm not ready! I don't know what to do!"_

"I have only two words for you to consider seriously." Alanna's purple eyes sparkled with humor.

"Alright." Kel wondered about Alanna's suddenly wicked grin. _"More sleep? Less worry? Double cradles? What?"_

"Wet Nurse."

Then the two lady knights of Tortall _both_ laughed and walked out of the room.

**

* * *

**

A/N: So ... I hope you enjoyed that chappie full of more explanations and character development. BTW, I'm not sure I want to write a detailed chapter about Neal and Raoul and Joren and George chatting and all that. Sorry! My thoughts are that no one was killed or beat up and, although they're still not friends, the guys are no longer enemies. I look forward to your reviews. Thanks! :D


	34. Humming in the Rain

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. The lyrics to the song 'Brighter Than Sunshine' belong to Aqualung, from the soundtrack to the movie "A Lot Like Love." **

**A/N: It's a 'song-fic' chapter! It comes with another **Fluff Alert** for real this time, so if you don't like fluff - too bad. I warned you! ;D Enjoy! **

**A/N #2: I rewrote the ending of this chapter, so I hope you like it. Thank you xxTunstallChickxx - you were right!**

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* * *

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Humming in the Rain

Joren lay on his back, panting and gasping for air. A sweaty sheen covered his bare torso and arms and drops of sweat rolled down the sides of his face. Every muscle in his body was screaming at him and he wanted to be left alone.

"Come on, Joren, you can do this." Kel tried to encourage him. "Just once more ... _please_ ... it'll be fun this time ... I_ promise_."

"No, Kel! I ... just can't ..." Joren gasped as he tried to speak. "You've ... completely ... worn me out. Phew! Where do ... you get ... so much ... energy? You should be ... tired, too."

"I really, _really_ need you to do it just one more time," Kel pleaded as she leaned over him. "I can't do it without you. Well, I guess I could, but it's way more fun now that _you_ can do it with me."

"Alright, alright. Once more, Kel," Joren's breathing was returning to normal. "But then I'm cutting you off. It's time for breakfast and I'm hungry. I know if _I'm_ hungry, you must be _starving_."

_**

* * *

**_

I never understood before

_**I never knew what love was for**_

_**My heart was broke, my head was sore**_

_**What a feeling**_

* * *

Kel kissed Joren on his salty lips and then stood in her ready position. Joren curled his body up from the floor, picked up his practice glaive and began one more pattern dance with Kel. It was their fifth round of the naginata and he truly was tired. When Kel witnessed Joren doing _his_ version of her exercises, she asked if she could correct his form and help him to do the pattern dances correctly. She admitted that by the Chamber making Joren 'live' her earlier life, he was fairly good at doing most of the exercises. After she showed him the right way to do everything, Joren continued to be astounded by Kel's high level of fitness. He couldn't keep up with her, but he knew they had to get up and burn off all their energy with physical training so that they wouldn't be tempted to stay in bed all day. Joren enjoyed holding Kel throughout the night, but he was only human and he knew his limitations.

* * *

_**Tied up in ancient history**_

_**I didn't believe in destiny**_

_**I look up you're standing next to me**_

_**What a feeling**_

* * *

The previous day had been very difficult for both of them. Everything from Neal and Raoul discovering Joren and Kel on the curtain wall to the numerous discussions and meetings with everyone afterward had taken their toll. They both appeared before the King' Council, whose members warned Joren not to interfere with their proceedings. Kel's future was decided and she and Faleron agreed to meet again to make arrangements for their change-of-command before she left Corus.

Kel and Joren ate dinner at the palace with Alanna and George, the first people, other than their parents and Aron, to fully accept them as a couple. People in the banquet hall kept glancing in their direction and whispering, but the Cooper's were able to distract and entertain their guests with some funny stories from their own newlywed days. It had been a long, grueling day and when the exhausted couple finally returned to their townhouse, all they could do was crawl into bed and go to sleep.

When Kel woke up, Joren had already escaped the bed, finished his floor exercises and was doing his version of a pattern dance. Kel wondered where he got his practice glaive, but then she was distracted by Joren's poor form. Once again, she got out of bed and showed him the correct way to perform all the movements. Joren was relieved to be finished. Kel was a hard taskmaster and would not let him slack off or move sloppily. He knew she was stronger than him and his pride wouldn't let him give up when she still seemed to have so much energy to burn.

_**

* * *

**_

What a feeling in my soul

_**Love burns brighter than sunshine**_

_**Brighter than sunshine**_

_**Let the rain fall, I don't care**_

_**I'm yours and suddenly you're mine**_

_**Suddenly you're mine**_

_**And it's brighter than sunshine**_

* * *

It had rained early in the morning, but stopped before noon. Low clouds still hung in the skies over Corus and Joren urged Kel to go to Lalasa's dress shop while he took care of some business matters. There were hugs and a few tears as Kel gave her former maid a brief version of all that had happened. Lalasa's partner Tian brought out a tray with tea and goodies and the three women enjoyed their nice chat in the back room of the shop. Lalasa took Kel's measurements and told her that she could see some changes in her body, but nothing so much that clothes wouldn't disguise them for a while. The talented seamstress took pleasure in designing new outfits for Kel, including several gowns that would be fancier than what Kel normally allowed. She was, after all, the new Lady of Stone Mountain. Before Kel finished her second cup of tea, Lalasa pulled out a cloth garment bag and gave it to her. Inside was a tunic for Kel in the colors of Stone Mountain. The crest badge was still the owl of Mindelan, but it was in Stone Mountain colors, also.

"Lord Joren sent me a message two days ago he and asked me to make this for you. He said you would decide on the way you really want your new crest to look, but to just do it this way for now." Lalasa explained. "Do you like it Lady Kel?"

Kel was speechless for a moment. Joren must have sent his message to Lalasa the day after their elopement. She had not expected anything like this to happen until much later. The idea of Joren caring enough to outfit Kel in his colors as soon as possible was astounding to her. The words of Molly the maid echoed through her head once again, and she said the words aloud to Lalasa.

"Joren is full of surprises." She murmured. _"And he keeps on surprising me and surprising me every time I turn around."_

"Aye, that he is, my lady." Lalasa agreed. "You know Lord Joren apologized for the way he treated us back before your big exams. But now he has given me a sum of money that would buy you _fifty_ dresses and tunics if you wanted them. Just say the word and I'll make anything you want - he's already paid for them. I'll tell you this: the man you married is a completely different man than the one who fought against you all the time."

"Yes, he is," Kel nodded, thinking about the man she married, "And he certainly doesn't fight me anymore. Well, sparring in the practice yard and doing glaive work don't count." _"Joren only 'fights' me about the _one_ thing. And I think it's about time to end that particular argument - for good." _

Kel pulled the new tunic over her summer shirt and let Lalasa make a few minor adjustments. When she looked at her reflection in the dress shop mirror, she was pleased to see that she actually looked good in Joren's colors - _her_ colors now. The seamstress clucked and fretted that Kel would only be able to wear the tunic for a short time. Then she promised to make some 'roomier' dresses for when Kel would need them. The women hugged each other again and Kel ran a few more errands before she returned to the townhouse.

Joren noticed Kel's new tunic immediately and smiled widely at her when she came into the library.

"You look ... _wonderful _in our colors, my lady," Joren said in a soft voice. "Thank you for agreeing to wear them so soon." _"I was afraid that you wouldn't want to change over at all, especially after yesterday."_

"Thank you for making it possible for me to wear them so soon," Kel replied. Then she walked around the desk and kissed Joren gently on his cheek. The whiskers of his beard tickled her lips, but she didn't mind. "It's starting to rain again, so I'm not going back out today. I think I'll ... take a nap. You could ... join me ... if you like." _"I probably _should_ rest, but I'd really like for you to be with me now."_

Joren sat very still and willed himself to be strong enough to resist Kel's blatant offer. He knew what she was up to and he wasn't going to surrender that easily.

"Uh ... not right now, Kel," Joren tried to look busy by shuffling around some of the papers on his desk. "I'm ... I'm still looking over these ... uh, invoices that Ebroin prepared for my review. He's coming by tomorrow to give me the full report and I ... uh ... need to be well-informed." _"I _know_ there's still a ghost in our bedroom, Kel. I have my pride. I'm not stupid; I'm just stubborn."_

Kel's heart sank at Joren's apparent disinterest, but then she realized that she definitely was tired after all of her day's activities so far. She figured that if she got more rest now, maybe she would be able to catch Joren off guard so that they could 'be happy' together later. She did not want him to use the same _tired _excuse about her being so tired. Kel got undressed and carefully placed her new tunic over a chair. Then she climbed into the bed to take her nap. The late afternoon rain fell harder and soon the splattering of the drops against the windows lulled Kel into a sound sleep.

* * *

_**I never saw it happening**_

_**I'd given up and given in**_

_**I just couldn't take the hurt again**_

_**What a feeling**_

* * *

Joren crept silently into the room just to watch Kel sleep. She looked so innocent and peaceful as she lay there. He smiled at the memory of the cute faces of the boys in the vision the Chamber had shown him. Joren yearned for his children to know a much different life than the life he had known as a child. He wanted them to be sure of their parents' love for them, and for them to learn how to love in a healthy way from the start. He did not want them to have to endure the Chamber's punishment in order to know how to love people. Joren hoped that, even if Kel couldn't love _him _and the Chamber took him away, the love she had for their children would provide them with a better start in life.

* * *

**_I didn't have the strength to fight_**

**_Suddenly you seemed so right _**

_**Me and you**_

_**What a feeling**_

* * *

On a whim, Joren quietly walked to the side of the bed and, barely touching her, he leaned down and placed his ear next to Kel's belly. Of course he couldn't hear anything but the gurgling of Kel's empty stomach, but he wondered if they - _his sons_ - could hear him. Softly, so as not to wake Kel, Joren began to hum a song that he remembered his nursemaid Molly singing to him when he was very young. He was surprised that he could recall the whole tune. Joren felt Kel's chest rise and fall with each breath that she took and her heartbeat was louder to him than the sound of the rain. As he hummed, he mentally 'spoke' to his unborn children, pleading with them to help him win their mother's love. After everything that had happened the previous day, Joren feared that Kel would never be able to love him completely.

* * *

_**What a feeling in my soul**_

_**Love burns brighter than sunshine **_

_**It's brighter than sunshine**_

_**Let the rain fall, I don't care**_

_**I'm yours and suddenly you're mine**_

_**Suddenly you're mine**_

* * *

Kel opened her eyes a little to see what Joren was doing. She could feel the vibrations of his humming, but all she could see was the back of Joren's head and the silver hair clasp which held his white-blond horsetail. Very, very slowly, Kel brought her hand up and loosened the clasp and let it fall to the floor. Joren's silky, thick locks tumbled out and she began to comb her fingers through the shiny strands. Kel gently stroked Joren's hair, letting it slide through her fingers time and time again. Joren's humming slowed to a complete stop and he started to lift away from Kel.

* * *

_**It's brighter than the sun **_

_**It's brighter than the sun**_

_**It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.**_

* * *

"Don't go," Kel whispered and her voice was husky with emotion. "That's very nice. I think they like your voice. I can feel them fluttering a bit when you hum to them. I ... I like it, too." _"I'm here now, this is my life, these are our children - and I love you, Joren."_

Joren began to hum again and turned his head to face Kel. She looked into his beautiful sky-blue eyes and gently moved her hand down his lightly bearded face, feeling the coarseness of it as compared to the smooth hair on his head. Kel reached out to tuck some of the loose strands of Joren's hair behind his ear and then returned to combing through the length of it with her fingers again. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly and Joren stopped humming again. This time, he did lift himself off of Kel's belly and the bed.

* * *

_**Love will remain a mystery**_

_**But give me your hand and you will see **_

_**Your heart is keeping time with me**_

* * *

When Joren first felt Kel release his hair clasp, he continued his humming. He didn't want to get his hopes up again, but as Kel played with his hair, he couldn't keep his heart from beating faster. The sensations he felt at the touch of her hands were so sensual for him, he knew he'd have to leave the room soon before he absolutely lost control of himself. When she asked him not to get up, he knew he had to see her face, so he turned his head to the other side. Joren watched Kel's face as she continued to comb her fingers slowly through his hair. When she closed her eyes and sighed, Joren _knew _that something had changed within Kel. He got up and stood directly over her so that he would be able to look into her hazel eyes when she opened them again. Joren could barely breathe and his heartbeat seemed to be nearly double its normal rate as he waited - and _hoped_.

Kel opened her eyes and discovered Joren standing over her. His breathing was ragged and he was biting his lower lip. His eyes searched her eyes and they held a question - the same question he silently had asked every day since he knew he loved her.

"Kel?" Joren's voice came out as a hoarse whisper. _"Do you love __**me,**__ Kel?"_

"I love you, Joren," Kel whispered back to him. "I truly, truly love you ... and no one else." _"I'm yours, Joren. I'm ... _all_ yours."_

Joren did not hesitate. He knew that the 'ghost' of Dom was gone and Kel was his alone. His lips hungrily came down on Kel's lips and their kisses quickly became deep and intense. Joren broke away only to shed his clothing and then he climbed into the bed beside his beloved wife. Kel gave her whole self - body, mind and soul - to Joren. They came together with a passion that they only had hinted at before. The heavy rains pelted the windows, but Kel and Joren were oblivious to anything except each other and the complete love they now shared.

* * *

_**What a feeling in my soul**_

_**Love burns brighter than sunshine **_

_**It's brighter than sunshine**_

_**Let the rain fall, I don't care**_

_**I'm yours and suddenly you're mine**_

_**Suddenly you're mine**_

* * *

Late into the evening, Joren held Kel in his arms and thought about the long, long journey he began in the Chamber of the Ordeal. He thought about the person he had been before, and the person he had become since then. He contemplated what might have happened if he had loved Kel from the start. Would she still have been required to fight so hard to earn her shield? Would he have been able to convince his father to arrange a betrothal for him and Kel? Would Kel have accepted him then? He knew the answers to those questions were probably negative.

Joren thought about the way the Chamber's punishment made him live the past lives that he could not change, but it also allowed him to learn from them so that he could live this present life in a way he could never have imagined. As he listened to the soft breathing of the incredible woman who was now completely his, Joren just smiled. Kel felt the brush of Joren's beard against her face when he smiled. She snuggled closer to him and looked over into his eyes. The rain had stopped and the moonlight streamed in and made Joren's eyes look almost luminescent.

"What? What are you thinking, Joren?" Kel asked quietly and smiled at him in return. "Tell me your secrets and I'll tell you mine." _"I want to know everything about you."_

"It's no secret ... I was thinking about ... us." Joren answered slowly and tightened his arm around Kel. "And I was thinking about how much ... I _love _... us being together ... forever. I love you, Kel." _"Yes, forever."_

"I love you, too, Joren ... now and forever." _"Yes ... forever."_

Then Kel and Joren made each other very, very, _very_ happy.

And so it was that Joren's love for Kel overcame her loneliness, self-doubt and grief. Likewise, Kel's love for Joren overcame his fears, self-loathing and pride. They both found redemption in each other's arms, and the gods smiled down upon them as their mutual love met all the conditions for Joren to live a full life. They would have many adventures together, with their children and out on various missions for their king, but their love would bind them and strengthen them through all the good times and the bad times.

_**And it's brighter than sunshine**_

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**A/N: I actually wrote most of this chapter before I worked on any other part of this story. The song was my inspiration. This was the original last chapter and then I had to figure out how to get my version of K/J to this point. I think there is at least an 'epilogue' chapter in my head, but I'd love to know how much further any of you want me to go with this story. Thanks! :D**


	35. Epilogue: All You Need Is Love

**Redemption**

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns all of PotS. Everything you recognize is hers; everything you don't recognize is mine. The fabulous John Lennon and Paul McCartney wrote the lyrics to the song 'All You Need Is Love,' which they originally recorded with their group, The Beatles. **

**A/N: Okay, folks, this really is the last chapter of this adventure with Kel and Joren. It comes with yet another **Fluff Alert** so don't say I didn't warn you. I have enjoyed writing the story and I hope you enjoyed reading it. It's a super-long, epic epilogue - and yes, another 'song-fic' chapter, too! I just couln't resist this song, because it fits so well. Until next time ... Enjoy! ;D**

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**Epilogue: All You Need Is Love**

_**Love, love, love.**_

When Joren and Kel arrived back at Stone Mountain, the villagers and workers all came out to wave at them as they rode through Stonesedge and they welcomed their Lady to her new home. Aron had been correct; the mountain folk truly were ecstatic over the news of their Lord's elopement with the Lady Knight. Lady Virryn had turned the Midsummer's festival into a celebration of her son's marriage, so they took some time and strolled through the village's colorful booths and market stalls. Everywhere they went, the newlyweds were overwhelmed with the outpouring of goodwill from the people.

"Congratulations Lord Joren! Welcome Lady Keladry!" a man's voice boomed from out of one of the food stalls. Kel recognized the large man as one of the wagon drivers from the caravan.

Joren grinned and clasped arms with the burly, red-haired man, who bowed to him and Kel. After a short moment, the two men dropped all pretense of decorum and gave each other a big back-slapping hug and laughed at some private joke. This was yet another surprise; Kel had never seen Joren display such open affection for anyone, and certainly not for a commoner. After their hug, the man placed his big arm around the waist of a small, dark-haired woman and pulled her forward. The shyly smiling woman held out a woven basket of something that smelled delicious and Joren accepted it graciously.

"Master Keithan Carter, Mistress Lally, this is my new wife Lady Keladry, formerly of Mindelan. Keithan is one of our newest wagon masters and Lally makes the best fruit pasties I've ever tasted." Joren sounded genuinely pleased. _"These are _our _people now, Kel, and I know they'll love you just as much as I do. Well, maybe not that much, but certainly enough."_

"Pleased to meet you, m'lady," the couple bowed and curtsied toward Kel.

"It's good to see you again, Keithan. You look well." Joren said. "Are the hens laying lots of eggs, yet?" Both men laughed and Joren saw the confused look on Kel's face. He opened his mouth to explain, but the wagon master beat him to it.

"When Lord Joren was a wee lad," explained Keithan, "He'd come down to th' stables to see th' big workhorses. I was just a stable boy then and he'd tag along after me as I did me work."

Kel looked at Joren and lifted an eyebrow. He smiled mischievously and nodded his head in confirmation.

"I wanted brothers so badly, that I'd sneak down here to Stonesedge whenever I could and try to play with the village boys." Joren said as he chuckled. "My father always found out and I would be in trouble for days, but it was worth the fun while it lasted. Keithan's father would always warn me when I was about to get caught. He was the one who offered his wagon to me as a sleeping shelter during the last caravan. Now that Keithan's earned his mastery, he'll drive his own wagon on the next caravan." _"The Carter's always have taken good care of me. They're good people."_

"Aye, that _was_ a lot of rain," Keithan said, "But me and me da had already set up camp, so 'twas no problem to let Lord Joren use th' wagon. It must've been dusty in there, but surely better than sleepin' on th' wet ground."

Joren looked at Kel with uncertainty. Yes, it definitely had been better for _him_ that night, but he didn't know how she remembered it. Kel was still smiling, though, and asked the young wagon master about the kinds of things he and Joren did when they were boys. She mentioned that there were many stories of her brother Conal getting into a lot of mischief in their village at Mindelan when he was a boy, too.

"Ah, m'lady, Lord Joren an' me got in all kinds of mischief when we was lads," Keithan laughed. "Sometimes we'd steal eggs to roast out in th' woods. We'd made our own fire pit an' everythin'. That was afore he went off to th' palace an' became proper an' all. When he was in th' Deep Sleep, we all feared th' worst, but then he woke up and came down to th' village. Some folk didn't know what to think, but when Lord Joren gave me an' Lally a set of hens and a rooster for our weddin' gift, I knowed he was alright."

"Congratulations," said Kel to the friendly couple. "How long have you been married?" _"I never would have placed you as a child who ran about the village, Joren, but wonders never cease."_

"Two years, m'lady," replied the beaming Keithan. "An' we just discovered a while ago that Lally here's with child. We'll have our own wee babe by midwinter for certain." The rugged man circled his radiant wife with his thick arms.

"Many congratulations then," Kel said, "We'll look forward to hearing of your good news." _"I'll have to let Aron know that the midwife here may be busy when my time comes."_

Joren also congratulated the wagon master and his wife and promised to check on them later. As he and Kel made their way back to the castle, Joren asked if she considered their time in the wagon to be a bad memory for her. Kel thought about it for a moment and then shook her head.

"Joren, there are so many things about that time that I wish were different," Kel began. "But you spoke the truth to me that night - you know, about there being more than one man who could love me. I didn't want to hear that then, but I believe it with all my heart now - because you love me." _"And I'm completely yours now." _Then she leaned over and kissed him.

The new Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain stabled their horses and entered into their home together, hand-in-hand and with well-kissed lips.

* * *

**_Love, love, love._**

Kel and Joren had their first fight over their sleeping arrangements. When Joren settled Kel into their adjoining rooms in the family castle, Kel took one look at the bedroom that was supposed to be hers and declared it to be useful only for when she delivered the babes. Otherwise, she fully intended to stay with Joren in his bed whenever possible.

"Joren, I don't want to sleep alone anymore," Kel insisted. "I like being with you. Don't you like being with me?" _"What's the matter? What did I do wrong?"_

Joren was somewhat perplexed. "But, Kel ... my parents always kept separate rooms. That's what people do." _"I don't understand why this is a problem. I thought you'd _like_ having your own room."_

"_My_ parents didn't do that." Kel replied. "So tell me ... whose parents were happier, Joren?" _"Although ... with so many children, my parents didn't have enough space to keep separate rooms."_

Joren knew the answer to Kel's question, but the fact that she had put it that way really stung and his face showed his dismay. Kel immediately knew that her remark was unfair and apologized. But she also made it clear that the only time she planned to sleep by herself was when she was out on a mission. Even then, she would rather share her bedroll with him - perhaps even a covered wagon, if one should happen to be available. Joren agreed with Kel wholeheartedly and they had a nice time making up - in the bed they now shared - after their fight.

Their second fight also was about sleeping arrangements. Although, there were no 'ghosts' in Joren and Kel's marriage bed anymore, there _were_ animals. In the beginning, Jump - as well as a few sparrows - did sleep in their bed with them. Joren basically lost that battle, but he had a plan and he put it into action right away. Eventually, the sparrows realized that the newlyweds were going to be too active for them to have a peaceful sleep, so they went back to their outdoor nests. Kel promised to build them a suitable shelter for the colder months. Finally, Jump also grew tired of all the moving around and left their bed to pursue his own dog 'wife' down in the village. Joren's strategy had worked and now he really had Kel all to himself.

* * *

**_Love, love, love._**

Baron Piers and Lady Ilane of Mindelan had accompanied Kel and Joren to Stone Mountain, and planned to stay with them for a while. There was no rush to return to the Yamani Islands since that country would be dealing with its earthquake clean-up for quite some time. The servants had prepared for them a set of rooms in the opposite wing of the castle's long hall. Kel smiled as she watched her well-traveled parents settle in. She was so happy that they would be here to support her as she figured out how to live her new life as Joren's lady.

Joren observed the way Baron Piers and Lady Ilane treated each other with love and respect during the time they stayed at Stone Mountain. The older couple set a daily example that quietly allowed their son-in-law to learn how to be a different kind of parent than his own. Joren witnessed the way Kel's parents always seemed to be in physical contact with one another in some small way and how they greeted each other when they had been apart for even a short amount of time. He knew that this was how Kel had learned to be so compassionate - and passionate - and he wanted their relationship to mirror what he saw in the Mindelan's marriage. Joren made the most of every opportunity to hold Kel or touch her hand or rub her shoulders. Kel felt much loved, indeed.

* * *

_**There's nothing you can do that can't be done.**_

At Fort Stonebridge, there was a bittersweet and belated birthday party/farewell banquet for Kel. She and Joren went to the fort to pack up her things and prepare for Faleron's arrival, but the officers and soldiers surprised them with their own celebration. Aron had made all the arrangements and the dining hall was decorated in the Mindelan colors one final time. Kel reassured Aron that he and Faleron would get along just fine. Aron reassured Kel and Joren that he would always be there for them as both a healer and a friend, no matter what their jobs or titles happened to be.

When Kel finally made it to her old room to clean it out, she noticed a long, thin wrapped bundle in the corner. Her eyes widened as she opened the birthday present Joren had left behind for her when he rode off to catch up with her and Aron.

"I ordered this for you from the Yamani Islands." Joren said as he came into the room behind her. "I thought you might like a new one for your birthday, but you were already gone when I arrived. I hope you ..." _"Thank the gods I caught up with you!"_

"I love it! It's ... it's ... perfect!" Kel interrupted. _"More surprises, Joren? I can't keep up with you!"_

Her eyes were shining brightly as she held the new glaive in her hands. It was the most gorgeous weapon, other than her sword, that she had ever held in her hands. Its glossy wood was smooth to her touch and its blue-black steel blade indicated that it came from the finest forge in all of the Yamani Islands. Kel knew she was holding a small fortune in her hand, and she carefully set it aside and thanked Joren with a deeply passionate kiss. Joren closed and locked the door and they did not return to the celebration until quite a bit later.

* * *

**_Nothing you can sing that can't be sung._**

Kel slept soundly these days. It was as though the twins inside of her pulled from her every extra ounce of energy she possessed. She would suddenly wake up and find herself napping at the table, or drowsing while reading a book. She knew that Joren watched her all the time. She caught him gazing in her direction at the strangest times - when she was reading, when she sucked on her finger after pricking it with an embroidery needle, and when she woke up from her afternoon naps.

Kel knew that Joren continued to hum to their unborn sons when he thought she was sleeping. She looked forward to those times when she woke up and could play with Joren's hair again. He loved it when she did that, and it always led to more happiness for both of them. When the weather began to cool and the leaves began to change color, Kel was both relieved and grateful to receive the dresses Lalasa had made to accommodate her expanding belly. Now it was obvious that she was pregnant and the people of Stone Mountain rejoiced all the more. Kel always heard someone whistling or humming the favored mining song about the silver and stone every time she and Joren visited the village. It made her smile.

* * *

**_Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game._**

_**It's easy.**_

One autumn morning, Kel's father asked Joren to take a walk with him. As the two men wandered through the garden, Sir Piers talked about a variety of topics and asked a lot of questions about the stone trade. Joren answered the questions as best he could, but he confessed that he really let the merchants handle most of the business. When they were a good distance from the house, Piers stopped and turned to speak directly to Joren.

"I've had this conversation with my other sons-in-law, and a similar talk with my own sons before their wives delivered their first children" Piers began. "However, since your own father is not here to pass on this information to you, I'd like to take the liberty of doing so with you now." His hazel eyes were very bright.

"Of course! Please continue, sir." Joren nodded. He respected Kel's father so much that he would listen to anything the man wanted to say.

"By now you have experienced some of the best ... _togetherness_ you'll ever have with your wife, although I personally think it all gets better and better as the years go by." Piers said and the corners of his mouth twitched in amusement as Joren's face turned pink with embarrassment. "You need to be aware that quite soon, things will change for a while, so ... enjoy all you can ... for as long as you can."

Joren was dumbfounded and couldn't think of anything to say. He knew Sir Piers could be very direct, but he never would have guessed that the man would speak so openly about their private lives.

Piers continued, "A lot of women - my wife and daughters included - become ... _irrational_ ... and ... somewhat irritable or sad after they give birth. That will pass eventually, but you will find your life to be a lot easier if you say as little as possible during that time and encourage your wife as much as you can until she returns to normal. Keladry has always been just a bit different from her sisters, but from what I've observed so far, she seems to be following a pattern that is _quite_ familiar to me. I wish you all the luck the gods are willing to grant you, Joren."

"I ... I ... uh ... thank you, Sir Piers," was all Joren could say. He knew he was blushing from head to toe. _"Mithros! I doubt my own father would have said _anything_ like this to me." _

Piers had more to say, "I think you and Keladry are off to a very good start, all things considered, but children can be ... challenging. Patience and a good sense of humor will make up for many a tough time, but I believe you know that already. I've seen the way you treat my daughter here and I just wanted to commend you for becoming a man whom she can trust - and love. Thank you."

"I appreciate your confidence in me ... in us ... sir." Joren's face was still pink, but his smile was genuine. "And I thank you for your words of advice. I will do my best to remember all of them." _"Oh my gods! I'm going to be a father. Mithros, help me do this right!"_

Piers merely patted Joren's shoulder and then they walked back to the castle. Now Joren truly felt like a member of Kel's family, too - welcomed, accepted and loved.

* * *

**_Nothing you can make that can't be made._**

One afternoon, late in the day, after the bright autumn leaves began to fall, Joren took Kel to his favorite grassy hilltop for a picnic dinner. Kel immediately recognized the setting of so many of her dreams and became slightly apprehensive about being there. Then Joren achieved his ongoing goal of replacing Kel's bad memories with good ones by presenting Kel with the wedding rings he really wanted them to wear. The shiny silver bands held one of each of the small blue and greenish-brown polished stones that the mountain folk sang about so often. The rings were symbolic on many different levels and Kel cherished hers just because Joren had thought of it.

They finished their meal and stayed to watch the early sunset. Joren hummed to Kel's much larger belly; it had become one of his favorite things to do and it always made Kel smile. Then they stayed there a bit longer, and since they were lying on a blanket anyway, their passion kept them warm as the first stars of the night began to appear. No one mentioned the grass in their hair when they returned to the castle.

* * *

_**No one you can save that can't be saved.**_

Lady Virryn was gracious and kind to Kel and her parents, and begged for their understanding, if not their forgiveness, for her actions. Kel did forgive Joren's mother; however Lady Ilane had a few words with Lady Virryn when they finally had a chance to speak privately.

Kel's mother had on her Yamani calm face, but her voice was tight as she said, "I understand your desperation for heirs, but I don't understand how you could do such a thing to both of our children. What kind of mother are you?"

"Lady Ilane, we are the same; we are dedicated mothers." Lady Virryn defended herself. "We both love our children and we are willing to fight for _whatever_ they need in life. Sometimes, they just need a little ... help."

"Lady Virryn, you and I are _not_ alike," retorted Ilane. "While I do agree that we both love our children, Kel fights for herself. I have always supported whatever my daughter, or any of my other children, desire to do with their lives. But I never have _forced_ my will upon them - and I never will!"

Virryn sighed tiredly and admitted, "Yes, there are differences, as you say. You have _many_ children; I have only Joren. Everything I've done, I've done for him and for the future of Stone Mountain. You _cannot_ understand how difficult this has been for me."

"I don't _care _how difficult this has been for _you_." Ilane's voice was furious, even though her face was calm and serene. "If I _ever _find out that you have continued to meddle with our children's marriage or their parenting, however well-intentioned you proclaim to be, I will make life _truly_ difficult for you."

The two older women understood each other and made a quiet truce. Lady Virryn never did interfere with the way Kel and Joren ran their household. Both she and Ilane helped Kel learn the ways of a proper lady of the manor and prepared her for the birth of the twins, even as Virryn's health began to fail. There was peace at Stone Mountain, though it was filled with both joyful anticipation and sorrowful resignation. Lady Virryn knew she would not be with them for much longer, but she hoped to see the birth of the twins.

* * *

**_Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time._**

_**It's easy.**_

Alanna had warned Kel to stay in good condition, because it could make her delivery go easier - and because it could be so hard to get back in shape after childbirth. Kel was determined to be both a good mother and a good knight, so she did every physical thing she could get away with under the watchful eyes of her parents, Sir Aron, and, of course, Joren. She and Joren took long walks together - sometimes at a fairly fast pace - until Joren made her slow down because she was breathing too hard. She still did most of her stretching exercises when she got out of bed, but she had to cut back on her glaive work. One morning, while she and her mother were doing a slow pattern dance, Kel doubled over with pain when one of the unborn babes kicked her hard under her ribs. Lady Ilane made Kel hang up her glaive for the remainder of her pregnancy.

* * *

**_All you need is love._**

Shortly before midwinter, when the time was close for Kel's delivery, Lady Ilane and Molly, who had become Kel's personal maid, moved Kel to into her own room. Kel despised sleeping in her bed by herself, but the older women assured her that it was for the best. Then something odd happened between Joren and Kel as they slept in their separate beds. Their joyful little 'tadpoles' began to make regular appearances in both of their dreams. Occasionally, they both would dream of the vision the Chamber had shown them of the twins running around and then pulling Joren down into Kel's lap. It made them feel closer, even though they were barely apart.

* * *

_**All you need is love.**_

There was a heavy, two-day snowstorm in the mountains the week before midwinter. Aron was glad that he had been at Stone Mountain checking on Kel when the storm hit, because the pass was completely blocked with high snow drifts. Kel's water broke the morning after it stopped snowing. Lady Ilane and Molly took turns assisting Aron for the twelve hours that Kel was in labor. Lady Virryn had become very weak, so Joren went back and forth between Kel's bedroom and his mother's bedroom, giving progress reports to the dying matriarch. Virryn was certain that the Dark God was coming for her soon, but she fought hard to hold on until she could see the future of Stone Mountain with her own eyes.

* * *

_**All you need is love, love.**_

Joren was with Kel when she finally gave birth to the two healthy baby boys. The older twin, Calen, had the Stone Mountain white-blond hair and sky-blue eyes. His younger brother by only two minutes, Jared, had light brown hair and Kel's hazel eyes. Their cute little faces looked exactly like the visions of their 'tadpole' selves and that became their parent's nickname for them throughout their lives. Kel looked down at the twins in her arms and thought they were the most beautiful babies in the world. She did not, however, refer to them as 'beautiful' in front of Joren.

* * *

**_Love is all you need._**

Lady Virryn lived long enough to see her grandsons and to hold them briefly in her arms before the Dark God finally escorted her to the Peaceful Realms. Keithan and Lally Carter's son was born the same night as the twins. There was much to celebrate at Stone Mountain that midwinter, even as they mourned the passing of Joren's mother.

* * *

**_All you need is love._**

Joren and Kel were not typical noble parents. At first, Kel tried to nurse the twins herself, but she became exhausted with the effort. It seemed that they were always hungry, but never at the same time. Finally, Kel's mother convinced her to follow Alanna's advice and she retained _two_ wet nurses for the twins. After that, Kel's life fell into an easier rhythm of rocking and holding and singing to her precious boys. They both had very easy-going dispositions and enjoyed being held by anyone, but they especially liked it when their father held them and hummed to them. So Joren did his share of holding the twins and humming to them, which always seemed to soothe them and calm them down. The little heirs of Stone Mountain grew strong in the love their parents and grandparents showered upon them.

* * *

**_All you need is love._**

Aron was true to his word and invited Kel to come to the fort and get back into fighting shape as soon as it was safe for her to do so. Joren and Faleron also sparred with Kel and Aron, and the four knights built up a solid camaraderie based on mutual respect and lots of good humor. The soldiers enjoyed watching the knights' matches against one another and the wagers flew back and forth whenever the Lord and Lady Knight of Stone Mountain came over the pass to train. One late winter afternoon, everyone witnessed quite a show at the fort's indoor practice yards.

Faleron and Aron had finished their match and were leaning against the practice yard's outer fence, drinking water and watching Joren and Kel spar with swords. Kel definitely was back in good shape. Joren was starting to lose the match and his face clearly showed his frustration. When they locked sword hilts and Joren struggled for an advantage, he could feel the certain defeat. Then, a big mischievous grin spread across his face. Joren winked at Kel, suddenly pivoted around her, hugged her into a nearly unbreakable embrace and kissed her ferociously. Everyone and everything stopped for a heartbeat's moment of time. Then Kel and Joren dropped their swords at their feet and continued their feverish kissing to the sounds of soldiers whistling, hooting and yelling.

Faleron was shocked, but Aron merely shrugged. The healer/knight had seen this moment coming ever since Joren first came over to spar with Kel. Obviously, there was nothing in the Code of Chivalry that covered their behavior. The fact that they were married now - and parents as well - was immaterial. From then on, Joren and Kel only sparred with _other_ people in public. They saved their own sparring for when no one else was watching.

* * *

**_All you need is love, love._**

Carrying the twins had not been as punishing to Kel's body as she had feared, and she was somewhat pleased with her recovery. She was quite happy when Joren welcomed her back into his bed, but she still didn't feel 'normal' yet. Joren remembered his father-in-law's advice and wisely said very little. He did however, praise Kel for her quick recovery and the impressive muscle tone in her arms and her abdomen. Kel found it difficult to accept any praise and attributed her swift progress to lifting and carrying around the solidly-built twins. The boys liked for their mother to snuggle them close together in her lap and tickle them. Kel liked to lift them up in the air and swing them around. That really was a good workout for her impressive upper arms.

* * *

_**Love is all you need.**_

On the evening of Kel's twenty-fourth birthday, as she and Joren were getting dressed for her special dinner, Kel stood in her undergarments and wrinkled her nose at her reflection in the mirror. She was not in a good mood to begin with and what she saw of herself in her reflection did not improve her mood any. Joren noticed her expression and hesitantly asked what was wrong. Kel pointed at the little silvery stretch marks across her sides that she felt continued to mock her efforts.

"These are _not_ impressive," Kel declared and she pointed at her sides. "You know I have been working out diligently, but I can't get rid of these marks." _"Ugh! They look like lines on a map!"_

Joren was unsure of what to say so he just shrugged. Kel scowled at him and then turned back to her reflection. She noticed how shaggy her hair had become and blew a puff of air to move her bangs out of her eyes. She had been toying with the idea of letting her hair grow longer, so that she might look a little more sophisticated when they attended the midsummer balls at the palace in two weeks. Kel gathered up her short brown locks and piled them on top of her head.

"No, definitely _not_ impressive either," she declared. _"Ugh! My hair is so ... so ... blah!"_

When Kel turned to Joren again and asked him if he would like for her to grow her hair, he just sighed. Joren didn't like to see Kel putting herself down because he happened to love and cherish every inch of her tall, muscular body. He walked over and made eye contact with her reflection in the mirror as he stood behind her. She was still scowling, with her hands on top of her head, brooding about her post-pregnancy body. He knew her well enough by now to sense that it was beyond the time for Kel to have eaten and that food probably was the only thing that would improve her mood.

"Kel ... if you grew your hair ... then it would hide your neck," Joren started to nuzzle and kiss the exposed nape of Kel's neck. "I don't want to bother with a mouthful of hair when I'm kissing your wonderful neck. So ... no, I really don't wish for you to grow your hair any longer. Let's keep it nice and short." _"Hmm, perhaps food isn't the _only_ thing that will improve your mood."_

Kel closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensations for a moment, but then she grabbed Joren's hands and made him feel her stretch marks. "See? I've got my muscle tone back, but these _lines_ are not impressive at all. I wonder what will get rid of them." _"Stop trying to distract me when I'm in a bad mood!"_

Joren looked at Kel's reflection again and then he smiled a wicked smile. He purred into her ear, "I'll tell you what's impressive, my love:_ these_ are impressive." And he slid his hands under Kel's breastband and held her there. Pregnancy did have its benefits, even if they were temporary, and Kel had become somewhat well-endowed as a result. Joren was correct; _food_ wasn't the only thing that would improve Kel's mood.

* * *

_**Nothing you can know that isn't known.**_

Kel decided that it had been an extremely happy birthday, even though dinner was delayed that evening. Several weeks later, after a few successful runs at the tilting quintain, Kel quickly had to dismount her horse so that she could throw up. A quick examination by Aron confirmed what she already knew. She was pregnant again. Kel had completely forgotten about wearing her pregnancy charm after the twins were born and she was angry with herself. It was one thing for Joren's mom to manipulate her into having the twins. It was an altogether different thing for her to become pregnant so soon again due to her own negligence.

Joren was rather pleased by the news, especially once Aron figured out that Kel was carrying another boy, but he knew Kel had worked hard to get back into fighting shape. She was hoping to take on one of the new girl squires during the upcoming year, but now she would have to wait. Joren held Kel while she cried over her stupidity and forgetfulness and he remembered that this weepiness was part of the whole 'pregnancy blues' that she had experienced before. The only thing Joren could do was to wait for the moods to pass. He knew that much better days were coming.

* * *

_**Nothing you can see that isn't shown.**_

Kel's pregnancy progressed well and she soon discovered that Faleron's wife, her distant cousin Elsa, was expecting their first son within a month of her delivery. She and Elsa had become close since the small, honey-blonde lady had come to live at the fort with her husband. Kel hoped that their boys would become good friends, especially because the twins had a way of excluding others from their own little 'twin-world' as she called it. Kel's parents were visiting her brothers and their families back at Mindelan, but they promised to return to Stone Mountain in time for Kel's next delivery.

Calen and Jared grew quickly and were walking before their first birthday. They could say simple words like 'ma' and 'da' and 'moa' - they liked to eat and always asked for 'moa' food. They still liked to snuggle together in Kel's rapidly disappearing lap and they always wanted Joren to hum to them at bedtime. The 'tadpoles' were quite playful during the day and kept Kel and their nursemaids busy. Their uncle Conal sent them wooden toy swords and they liked to bang them on the floor. Most of all, the boys liked to play with their new white puppies. One of the villagers brought the familiar-looking dogs to the palace as gifts for the twins. It was obvious to both Kel and Joren that Jump had been quite busy, too.

* * *

_**Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.**_

_**It's easy.**_

One spring afternoon, after they all woke up from their naps, Kel knew she had to take the twins outside. It was such a nice day and they could use the fresh air. Tiny white flowers were blooming in the grass on their favorite hilltop. Kel heard Joren humming as he ambled up the gravel path. The twins had been running around with their toy swords - they always carried them around now - and Kel was sitting cross-legged on a blanket, enjoying the sunshine. When the boys heard their father, they dropped their little swords and ran to him, each one wrapping himself around one of Joren's long legs. Joren continued to walk with his additional 'weights' until he was standing next to Kel. Then he just collapsed into her lap and smiled up at her. Kel leaned over her pregnant belly as best she could and Joren sat up just enough so that she could give him a long, slow kiss.

Suddenly, they both recognized where they were and what they had seen in the Chamber and in their dreams so many times. Joren sky-blue eyes looked into Kel's dreamy hazel eyes for a long moment. Then they burst into wild laughter. Calen and Jared thought it was all a game and tried to wriggle themselves in between their loving parents. Three weeks later, Kel gave birth to their third son, Garrett. After that, Kel got a new pregnancy charm and wore it faithfully for the next five years.

_**

* * *

**_

All you need is love.

The Lord and Lady of Stone Mountain were blessed with six sons in all, which greatly pleased Mithros and the Great Goddess. After their first three boys, Kel took on her first girl squire. There was peace in the realm, but Kel trained her squire on a variety of missions, some of which were with the King's Own. They also assisted wherever they were needed, and fought against bandits and the occasional renegade immortal. Once Kel's squire became a full knight, Kel returned to Stone Mountain and removed her pregnancy charm. Joren smiled widely when he saw the delicate chain next to their bed and he wasted no time.

Kel and Joren had another boy each year for three years after that - Brandt, Derek, and Tevin. Mealtimes became loud and fun with all the boys jostling for attention and extra servings of food. Kel had fond memories of the boisterous times around the dinner table at Mindelan, but Joren often was amazed at how much his sons could eat - he had no experience with a large family and had to adjust his way of thinking. Kel loved all of her little men, and she enjoyed teaching them how to do their exercises, how to fight with a glaive and how to calm themselves. When Kel successfully finished training her second girl squire to knighthood, she was almost forty years old and decided she probably didn't need to worry about a pregnancy charm anymore.

Baby Ilane was born the week before Kel's forty-first birthday. Joren and Kel named their only daughter for Kel's mother, who had passed into the Peaceful Realms three months before Kel gave birth to the blond-haired, blue-eyed girl child.

_**

* * *

**_

All you need is love.

Joren started wearing his hair quite a bit shorter, in large part because of the twins. When they were squires they began to joke around with each other that Joren's horse tail of hair was sadly old-fashioned. Joren took their good-natured ridicule in stride. Finally, the boys made a wager with him and Joren agreed to let them cut off his long hair on the day that either one of them could beat him in the practice yard. Jared claimed that honor the summer before the twins turned eighteen.

Joren feigned shock and horror at his defeat, but he was very proud of the young men that his sons were becoming. All of the boys made a big ceremony of the haircut and presented the horse tail of hair, still held in its silver clasp, to Kel. She shed a few tears, but she attributed the tears to her lingering post-pregnancy 'blues' since the baby was only a few months old at the time. The new shortness of Joren's hair did not prevent Kel from playing with it, nor did it prevent the usual aftermath of such playing.

_**

* * *

**_

All you need is love, love.

Joren sat on the wooden bench in the Chapel of the Ordeal and stared at the cold metal door. So many memories flooded his mind and he knew that Kel, who was sitting right next to him, had many of the same thoughts. They had experienced so much life - most of it good - since they sat on this same bench after the Chamber presented Kel with her choices. Neither of them had any real regrets. The first of their children had become honest, brave and compassionate men of the realm. Proud tears welled up in his eyes as he glanced across the aisle at Jared, who had made it through his Ordeal and had been knighted two days ago, the day after the twins' eighteenth birthday. Now _Sir_ Jared was waiting with Calen's knight master, Sir Faleron of King's Reach. They were ready to catch his twin as soon as the Chamber released him.

Joren looked down the row at his wonderful family. Beyond Kel, there sat sixteen-year-old Garrett, who was in his last year and a half of squiring for Lord Merric of Hollyrose. Brandt was a second-year page, and showed strong evidence of growing taller than anyone in the family. At eleven years of age, he was already five feet and nine inches tall. Derek, aged nine, and Tevin, aged eight, could hardly wait for their turns to come to the palace and they harassed their older brothers all the time to tell them what their training was like. Finally, there was the baby, little Ilane, who looked so much like Joren it was almost eerie. She was snuggled into her father's arms, fast asleep and oblivious to the momentous occasion happening around her.

_**

* * *

**_

Love is all you need.

When Calen emerged from the Chamber of the Ordeal, both Joren and Kel breathed a sigh of relief. Their firstborn son looked haggard and pale from whatever the Chamber had done to him, but he was alive and whole and ready to become a knight of the realm. Jared and Faleron caught him as he staggered beyond the Chamber's door. Everyone hugged him and congratulated him and told them how proud they were of him, but Calen really only had eyes for a shy, petite young lady at the back of the chapel.

The dark-haired beauty was Faleron's oldest daughter, Mirta, and she was soon to be betrothed to Calen. Calen always had been fond of Mirta, ever since they were children playing at the fort and watching their parents spar against each other. Joren and Kel were not surprised when their oldest son declared his love for their long-time friend's daughter and asked them to agree to his plans for an early marriage. Everyone was pleased with the match and Faleron planned to announce the betrothal at the Midwinter's ball at the end of the week.

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All you need is love (all together, now!)

_**All you need is love. (everybody!)**_

_**All you need is love, love.**_

There was much to celebrate and they all ate together at the same eating establishment that Joren had been to the night before he first entered the Chamber so many years ago. This, however, was a much happier gathering than that ill-fated dinner. Joren sat at the head of the table with little Ilane sitting quietly on his lap, her wispy white-blond hair tickling his chin. Kel sat next to him and their knees touched under the table. She smiled warmly at him and then turned to observe their gleeful and noisy sons all around the large dining table. Other patrons grinned at the family scene.

Joren suddenly realized that this probably would be one of the last times they would be gathered together like this - just the Stone Mountain clan. Soon, Calen would bring his bride into their friendly mix of jokes and pranks. Soon, Jared would ride off on his assignment to help defend the northern coast with his uncles. The Scanrans had started to band together again and were making threats that Tortall was taking seriously. Soon, in a few short years, the youngest boys would be in training at the palace. There was talk of Kel taking another command, possibly at Fort Mastiff, within the next few years. There was no telling how many of them would be able to get together at any one time in the future.

Ilane shifted around in Joren's lap, watched her big brothers eat and sucked on her fingers. Joren reached out to grasp Kel's hand, brought her hand up to his lips and gently kissed it. Kel gazed into Joren's eyes and whispered, "I love you" to him. Joren leaned over and kissed her soft lips. Their children had long since become accustomed to such public displays of affection, but tonight, they stopped and watched their parents. Then Calen lifted his goblet and led his brothers in a cheer.

"Stone Mountain for Tortall! Stone Mountain for Tortall! Stone Mountain for Tortall!"

Kel and Joren broke off their kiss and smiled at their lovely family. Yes, Stone Mountain was for Tortall, and they would be for a long, long, long time.

**_Love is all you need (love is all you need)._**

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A/N: I want to take the opportunity to thank all of my super 5-chappie or more, consistent reviewers - xxTunstall Chickxx, Chris Finkle, SarahE7191, devilishduck, jayley, chiilachic, elf princess warrior, Lady Reena, Escalus, Imperfectionist ;D, beastie92, Tierchen, Celestial Torrent, Victoria Taylor, and abyssgirl. You all made this story better than it would have been and I am grateful for your encouragement, your honesty and your ideas. I look forward to seeing your reviews on this and my future work. Thanks again! Ally-Marty :D


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